Alamort

45. Priya

T he weekend flew by in a blur, mainly sleeping and listening to River’s laptop play low in the background. I’ve woken up to breakfast outside of my room every morning since the nurse came. I’m not going to test the Demons when it comes to life’s necessities. At least, not yet. Anyone who thinks it isn’t possible to survive off of only one meal a day with a sprinkle of snacks here and there would be wrong. I’m not saying it’s healthy, but that’s the one thing that has followed me from home. People watching what I’m eating. Soon enough, it won’t be a problem.

I’m still not 100% from my run in with Bennett. My throat is a little tender to the touch, but I’m more than capable of going through with school. My psych grade isn’t the best since Crew ruined it. Just because my parents don’t speak to me doesn’t mean they’re not watching and waiting for me to fuck up. If my parents catch wind of it… I don’t want to imagine the consequences. I’ve never thought to test the boundaries on how far they would go. Especially when I already try my hardest to get their approval.

All my schoolwork that I’ve missed during my absence is sprawled all over my bed. Starting one assignment only to move to the next and back again. My door shuts with the distinct clumping of combat boots to dull the chatter in my head. The coffee machine turns on while River makes herself at home in the new chair angled towards the bed in the far corner by the window.

The Shadow Man’s chair. I press my lips together to prevent myself from asking her to pick a different spot. One of the few things I will miss after my birthday is him. He’s been the only person who’s never judged me, even at my lowest. I have no doubt that he’ll be fine without my presence. I’ve never had someone be so horribly sweet to me. The difference between him and the other villains in my life, he soothes the hurt he causes. I never realized how much I’ve needed that. In such a short time, I came to rely on him to help me see through the fog that constantly follows me around.

He offered me an out the other night. I would never take it, but that’s more than my father ever gave me.

And River. I’ve stopped trying to complete my homework a while ago, there’s no use for it. My eyes slide to her as she stares out the window, sipping from a white mug she’s declared as hers. Her full lips caress the lip of the cup, closing her eyes in soaking in the faint rays of sunlight, dark lashes fan her face, hiding her doll-like eyes. Her upturned nose and porcelain skin tell nothing of the horrors she’s faced. I’ll miss River too.

I’ve been telling myself since I made the decision that being gone won’t affect her as much. That’s what I say to fight off the guilt. Despite our short time together, she’s made an impact on me. She’s been a friend when I didn’t think I needed anyone. Listened when no one would, held me when I cried and never left my side. She’s healed things in me I never knew were broken. This is how I want to remember her.

“Why are you smiling at me like that?” She asks with a raised eyebrow.

“I was just thinking about how grateful I am for you.” My voice cracks and warmth spreads through my chest. Her eyes soften at the corners as she places a hand over her heart. “Tonight is the Halloween party. Are you excited?” I change the subject to avoid her prying for more than I want to give.

“Yeah, the workers finished putting everything together last night! Did you see it?” I shake my head. The only thing I saw was most of the male carnival workers check out the young girls, flirt and whistle at them. One tried to approach me on Tuesday, and I made a run for it. Wishing I had a rape whistle to blow in his face.

Classes were excused today by the stand in dean. Now that I think about it, I haven’t seen or heard from dean Brian in a while. I’ll take that as no news is good news. Earlier this week, my outfit was delivered. I’m beyond excited about tonight.

In the bathroom lays my costume I went all out for. I’ve decided a sexy clown would be my big bang. My life has always been the bud of a bad joke. The bruises I have will be an excellent addition since it’s Halloween and I won’t have to hide them with hoodies that press down on them. Tonight is about setting myself free.