All About You

Twenty Four

O n Wednesday at midday, Marlon texts asking if he could come over to hang out and play video games. For no reason, he claims, though I suspect it’s all in a bid to cheer me up.

The pre-period cramps have been souring my mood, and it must’ve translated through my messages. He comes over in the late afternoon, just a little after Mum and Ria both come home, bringing us a takeaway container of Vietnamese food from a nearby local restaurant as a gift for my family.

Once I join him upstairs, he’s standing idly by the display shelves that holds Ria and I’s shared collection of video games and kpop lightsticks.

I prepare the couch and the consoles, bending down to grab the controllers from the drawers. Realising what I’m doing, he hurries over, telling me to sit down and let him do everything.

“I just have PMS ,” I tell him, in amusement, “It’s not like I’m crippled.”

The comment earns me a sceptic tilt of his head, “I know that, but still, it’s painful and I’m trying to make things easier for you,” he clutches his heart, “So please accept my good graces.”

I have no choice but to accept. I watch him tamper with my console and load up Mortal Kombat.

Truthfully, I never thought anyone would act this way toward me. To pamper me, cater to me.

Marlon, I’m beginning to realise, is far from the devil.

He’s an angel.

We play through a couple of rounds, with me beating him every single time without effort. Ria comes upstairs after an hour, leaning against the couch and observing our battles.

“Wow, you properly suck Marlon,” she comments.

Marlon turns, shooting her an affectionate glare, “Or maybe your sister is just too good.”

Ria snickers, “Not better than me.”

“You want to bet?”

Accepting the challenge, Ria jumps over the couch and settles herself beside Marlon and I, and I hand her the control. A competitive tension rises as the two of them lean forward, their shoulders locked in concentration.

Where I’m super competitive, Ria matches me in energy, and spares no reluctance to totally destroy Marlon in the couple of rounds that they play.

I burst into laughter at Marlon’s sulky expression as Ria performs a fatality on his character, for the second time in a row.

“You, Garcia’s, are ruthless ,” he declares, shaking his head.

“Maybe you’re just a loser,” I retort.

Ria nods. “You better up your game, Marlon, or else I’m not going to approve of this relationship.”

Marlon gasps, scandalously, as I pinch Ria’s elbow.

At that she checks her phone.

“Anyway, my friends want to call briefly to study for our English test. You kids keep it down, okay ?”

I wiggle my brows at her, playfully.

“Does this friend include Xavier? ” I coo, and Ria glares at me, before flicking my forehead.

With a huff, she gets up from the couch and heads over to her room, but not before announcing, “He and I are just friends! ”

I’m still giggling as she closes the door.

“Who’s Xavier?” Marlon questions.

“Just one of her best friends,” I explain, “I just said that to tease her. But secretly, it’d be so cute.”

We both chuckle quietly. Then, Marlon asks, “So, have you dropped Rafayel yet?”

My breath gets stuck in my throat. I hadn’t mentioned him as much to Marlon since the family gathering, where he’d voiced his disapproval of him. Strangely nervous, I put down the control, my eyes not meeting his.

“No,” I say, after a few beats.

An uncomfortable silence passes over us.

“Garcia, look at me.”

I do. His eyes, usually warm, usually cheeky, are hardened.

“Has he asked you out yet?”

My silence is all he needs. His jaw tenses, and that’s when the defensiveness flares up within me. Why is he so pressed about this? Since when did he care so much?

The thread in me snaps. I can’t bear Marlon’s disappointment in me.

“Since when did you care so much about what I do with my love life?” I say, my words sharp. Cutting.

My tone surprises him, his eyes widening, before furrowing into a glare.

“Since you seem to be unable to figure out who’s actually into you or not,” Marlon bites back.

I lurch back. The flame in my chest suddenly grows rampant. It’s no longer warming me. It’s scorching me inside, and I have no other way to release it but through my mouth.

“Shut up,” I say, voice trembling.

“I’m sorry to break it to you Garcia, but if you need me to spell it out, Rafayel isn’t into you . Not in the way you want him to be.”

The door opens, and I hear Ria step out.

“Are you guys -”

“And what would you know?” I snap, but I’m unable to keep my voice steady. Tears spring to my eyes, and I stand up. I need to get away from Marlon, and his words.

“Garcia…”

Marlon’s voice has grown softer, but the walls around me are still closing in. I turn to face the shelves, shaking my head.

“He’s not your perfect romance. He’s not your perfect anything. You’ve got to stop reaching for this idea that everything will fall together like in your books, in your movies, just because of one thing that seemed to have gone right.”

“What the hell would you know?” I bite out, turning to meet his eyes. “You couldn’t even keep Christine.”

I regret the words as soon as they leave my lips. But the damage is done, the fire has burnt, evident in Marlon’s eyes and the way his body tenses. I expect him to fight back. To hurt me just as much. I wish he did.

Instead, he just steps back. A veil falls over his expression.

“Marlon…” I start.

“I just wanted to say, you deserve better.”

There is no malice in his tone, but it is hard. Cold.

“You want a love like your parents, like the ones you read about. Trust me, Rafayel isn’t that. No one would write a story with that.”

He turns to the couch, collecting the car keys that had fallen from his pocket. Without facing me, he says, “Thank you, for hanging out tonight. I hope you feel better.”

I don’t stop him as he reaches the stairs. The game is still paused on the main menu, waiting for us to begin another round. I hear him say goodbye to my parents in the living room, their TV blasting the new Keanu Reeves action movie much too loudly to have heard any of what has just been said up here. I listen to his car’s engine start up, and hear him drive away.

Marlon and I have fought many times in our lives. We’ve fought over him pushing in the food line at family gatherings. We’ve fought over who got the last ice cream stick in the freezer. We fought over maths questions. But this is the first fight that left me feeling numb. Alone.

Ria is still standing there, frozen, unsure. Turning away, I head toward my bedroom, but she follows me soon after.

“Don’t,” I say, as soon as she steps through the door.

“He’s right, you know.”

“Why don’t you just stay out of this? What’s happening between Rafayel and I, that’s for me to worry about.”

Her eyebrows deepen, until she’s glaring at me.

“Cut the bullshit Ate, Rafayel is a dickhead, and you’re acting like one too right now. We’re both just concerned about you and just want the best for you so if you can’t see that -”

I don’t want to hear anymore. I don’t want to hear Ria telling me off, because that’s what’s going to tip me over the edge. That’s what’s going to make me break. I point out the door, turning my head so I don’t have to see her face.

“Just, leave me alone.”

She doesn’t need to be told twice. Ria isn’t the type to linger and have the last word. Saying nothing more, she leaves.

Somehow, the silence hurts more than if she had stayed to yell.