All I See Is You

21. Break Up More Often

Chapter twenty-one

Break Up More Often

Quinn

H ux’s lips, his hands, his scent—let’s face it, everything about him—left me reeling. My legs felt weak and wobbly, but it’s like he was a mind reader or something, because just as I felt like they’d buckle or turn to jello, he lifted me in his arms as if I were little more than a feather, all the while his mouth never leaving mine. He sat me on the table, all of his paint supplies getting messed up and moved around in the process. My dress was probably ruined, but it was the least of my worries right now.

Not when his kisses left me feeling like I was drowning. But in the best way.

I pulled back just enough to look at him, my lungs screaming for air. Holy God, he was so painfully attractive, even covered in multicolored smudges. His unkempt brown hair was wild and falling around his face, and his scruff was thicker, closer to an actual beard instead of just a shadow of one. He wasn’t wearing his sunglasses, I realized, and when he opened his eyes, it was like the soulful amber depths were seeing straight to the very essence of my being.

I raised a tentative hand to his brow once more, trailing my fingers along the lines of his brutally handsome face. He was rugged and hard and fierce, and I loved that about him. I loved that despite that, his actions could be so opposite—soft, gentle but no less intense.

I pressed a kiss to his lips, surprising myself when I whispered, “I’m sorry.”

He stilled beneath my touch.

Damn. I didn’t want him to stop, but I needed to get my thoughts off my chest. It was like now that I’d opened my mouth I couldn’t help the words from coming out. I needed him to understand how I felt. So even though my heart pitter pattered in my chest, I continued on. “I know you said you couldn’t do this, but I want you.”

One of his hands slid up to grip my chin while the other trailed down my curves before coming to a rest on my hips. “I know, I can’t get you out of my fuckin’ mind, darlin’,” he all but growled, the sound sending a ripple of desire through me.

I released my hold on his hair, sliding my hands down to rest on his chest, the black t-shirt he wore a thin barrier between me and his tattooed skin. I wanted it off, but I also—I don’t know—I wasn’t ready for the passion to overwhelm me yet. Once it did, there was no going back. It was probably stupid, but I’d been falling for him basically since the moment I met him, and after tonight, nothing would be the same.

I knew that without a shadow of a doubt.

So, I don’t know, this moment, this pause, it was like those few gut-wrenching minutes when the rollercoaster makes its way up to the top of the drop off. That part was honestly more terrifying than the ride itself. It was the lead up. The tension. The stillness of the moment where you could hear your heart thumping in your ears and you were contemplating whether or not you’d made a massive mistake.

“I want you. Not just physically, but I want to get to know you. To learn about what makes you tick, what upsets you, what drives you. I want to know if this feeling I feel for you is real,” I managed to get out quietly. “Because it feels real.”

His grip on me tightened, and I watched in stilted silence as he bit his lip. He shook his head and my heart squeezed. Damn it, he didn’t feel it, did he? Was this just a physical thing for him? Had I made a massive mistake?

“It is real, Quinn. I feel it too.”

And then his lips were on mine once more. Urgent, insistent, unrelenting. There would be no more talking right now. And that was okay, because I don’t think words could even accurately describe how I felt.

Hux’s hand on my chin drifted to grip the side of my neck, his fingers tightening, but not to the point it hurt, just enough to make me feel wild and reckless. A moan tore up my throat, which only seemed to spur him on. His free hand drifted from my waist to dip below the fabric of my sundress, his callouses scraping against the sensitive skin of my inner thigh.

My head fell back as he peppered kisses to my mouth, my jaw, the curve of my neck. How could the simplest touch make me feel so alive? My body thrummed with desire, white-hot and all-consuming. I burned for Hux. Everything about him was like kindling to the fire within me, everything he did, every nip, every brush of his lips, his tongue, his teeth— fuck .

The moment his fingers dipped below the fabric of my underwear, the moment they found my pussy, it was like a supernova of light burst in my vision. My head fell back, my limbs turning weak, and it took everything in me to just feel as his hands worked their magic. A moan escaped me as I rode the burning wave of desire sliding through my veins.

“Hux,” I moaned, his name all but a song, a prayer on my lips.

His chest rumbled with that sexy growl of his before he asked, “You like this, darlin’?”

Like it? I loved it. I loved the way he seemed to know exactly what I wanted and needed without any direction. I couldn’t answer though, words were too far away from me, so I just let out a little, “mhm hmm.” It was the best I could do.

He chuckled and wrapped an arm around to support me as he slid his fingers in and out of me.

Holy God, I was close. Already. With just a few strokes. Every inch of me felt like it was on fire. My veins, my lungs, my skin seared with the intensity of my burning need for Hux. But this wasn’t all about me. This was about him too, and while I didn’t think he particularly minded paying me all the attention right now, I was greedy for a taste of him as well.

I grabbed for his shirt, pulling it up, up, up over the taut muscles of his tan stomach. He paused long enough to rip it off with a growl, and then his mouth and hands were on me once more in a wild frenzy. I ran my fingers over the tattoo on his heart before trailing them lower and lower until I brushed the top of his jeans hung low on his hips. I pressed a hand to his rock-hard cock, eliciting a moan from him.

“I want you,” I said, surprising myself with the confidence in my voice.

It’s like the tether holding in his self-control vanished. He growled once more, and I gasped as he slid me to the edge of the table, all but ripping off my underwear and tossing them to the floor. He had the button and zipper of his jeans down in the next instant, his pants pulled down over his hips enough to expose his cock.

And despite all his intensity and desperation, he entered me slowly, gently, almost. Another moan found its way out of my chest as I rode the scorching desire that only Hux seemed capable of causing. His hips moved in slow, measured strokes, all the while, his hands roaming over my curves.

This. This feeling. This scorching passion, the searing kisses, the fire I felt…how was this real? Maybe soulmates were a thing. Or I was just so enamored and blinded by my lust that I thought they were.

“God, you feel so fuckin’ good,” he murmured as he kissed me.

I nipped at his bottom lip. I could say the same about him.

The action sparked something within him, further cutting at the tether holding back whatever shred of control he still possessed. One of his hands knotted in my hair, and he pulled hard enough to expose my neck before peppering kisses and nips to my flesh. My eyes fluttered closed at the feel of it.

“Yes,” I breathed.

His groan of approval brought a soft grin to my lips. “What do you want, Quinn?” he asked, his words a deep, velvety whisper in my ear.

“I want you.”

“I need you to be more specific.” The hold on my hair tightened and I gasped as he picked up the momentum and thrust into me faster, his movements becoming harder, more punishing. And holy God, it felt good.

“I…I don’t know. I just want you.” I didn’t know what I wanted. Was it pathetic to say that I’d never enjoyed sex this much until now? It had always felt more like a chore, like I was stumbling along in the dark. I didn’t know the first thing I wanted when it came to sex. All I knew was that whatever he was doing, I wanted more.

He let out a huff—whether it was of approval or not I didn’t know.

“What do you want?” I asked, hoping the question would distract him from whatever thoughts my last sentence caused.

“What do I want?” His words turned contemplative, even though every inch of him—every chiseled line and curve, every muscle, even the look in his eyes—silently told me he knew exactly what he wanted. His hold on my hair tightened another fraction, and his lips found my neck as he led a path up to my ear before whispering, “I want to lay you down over this table and fuck you til you’re screamin’ my name.”

My cheeks heated at that, but the idea of it…yes. I wanted that. I needed it. “Yes. Please.”

“Fuck, Quinn—” Hux moved then, pulling out of me and flipping me around to bend me over the table so quickly, I didn’t even have time to think or breathe. His cock was poised at my entrance in the next moment, his hands once more knotted in my hair. “You don't know how much I fuckin' love that.”

I leaned back into him, a breathy laugh coming out of me as I whispered, “Then fuck me, please.”

He didn’t possess the same amount of restraint this time around. He pounded his cock into me with brutal intensity, but I savored every thrust. Dipping a hand beneath the top of my dress, he grabbed one of my breasts, which he kneaded and squeezed, sparking even more desire in my veins. Between the punishing strokes of his cock, the tension of his hand in my hair, and now this…it was the perfect kindling for the fire blazing higher and higher within me.

“Hux,” I breathed.

He growled out a curse in my ear, his hold on my breast vanishing as it trailed down along my curves and slipped beneath the hem of my dress. His breath fanned against my neck, sending shivers down my spine as he rumbled in my ear, “Be a good girl, and say it again, darlin'.”

His fingers found the bundle of nerves at my core, his hand and cock both stoking me higher and higher and higher. And then he bit me. It wasn't more than a little love nip, really, but It was right at the tender cord of muscle where my neck and my shoulder met. I gasped as the most brutal, paradoxical sensation of pleasure and pain pummeled through me…

And then I was crashing, falling, plummeting down from the heights I’d just soared, my orgasm coming hard and fast and fierce. I screamed his name, my vision spotting and going black as I slammed my eyes closed and writhed beneath him.

He let out a curse, his thrusts turning wild and relentless—once, twice, a third time as his own release finally found him. His hold on my hair eased, and where his teeth had been just a moment before, he kissed now, sending a shiver through me. Hux’s hands came up to cage around me as he pulled me back against him, finally slipping out of me. And despite the moment being so quiet, so simple, this was almost more magical than the sex. The intensity of this moment, the rightness I felt in his arms. It shouldn’t be real. It couldn’t be.

For a long moment I just stood there, our breathing matching each other’s, but I wanted to look at him. Wanted to get an idea of what was going through his head. I was too scared to ask and shatter the perfectness of the moment. I turned to face him, trailing my fingers down his sleeve of tattoos taking up his right arm, admiring the artwork. It reminded me of an old Western. There was a desert landscape with a lonesome rider riding off into the sunset, barbed wire, cactus, some paisley filigree mixed in along with another cow skull, and a cross.

“I can’t decide if I want you to stop that or keep going,” he murmured, wrapping his other arm around me. His deep voice cut through the quiet of the room like thunder rolling in the distance. Powerful, yet subdued.

“Does it tickle?” I asked, looking up at him.

His lips were slightly upturned at the corners, his amber eyes warm and light. God, they were beautiful. I wish he didn’t feel the need to hide behind his sunglasses so much. Though, I’m sure it was probably easier and felt more comfortable for him. He didn’t have to hide from me, though.

“A little. But I’m more worried about how fast it’s gonna make me want to fuck you again if you don’t stop.”

My laughter was little more than a breathy huff of air. “Would that be so bad?”

He chuckled, his grin widening. “I knew you weren’t as much of a good girl as you let on.” His lips met mine for a moment, stoking some of the desire that was little more than embers in my veins now.

I broke the kiss a moment later. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

He chuckled, gripping my chin between his thumb and forefinger. “Sure you don’t, darlin’.” And the way he said it, Holy God. How was he so frikin hot?

“We should probably get cleaned up,” I said, my voice weak.

“There’s a bathroom down the hall and to the left. It’s got a shower and tub,” he replied.

I reached out and brushed my fingertips against his. “Wanna join?”

He pulled me to him once more, crushing me to his chest, but when he kissed me it was so opposite—soft and languid. “Is that a question?”

A few minutes later, I sat in Hux’s lap, drawing lazy patterns on his chest while steam swirled around us from the bath. It was one of those fancy jacuzzi tubs with jets, so why not?

Hux’s knuckles drifted up and down my spine in the most soothing, yet tantalizing way that both eased and drove my desire as he said, “Wasn’t expectin’ for you to come bargin’ in here earlier.”

I giggled. “Me? I wasn’t expecting you! My dad said no one was staying in here so I could use the place. I thought you lived in the bunkhouse?”

“I do, I just keep my paint stuff in here. I’ll have to move it, though, now that—”

“No!” I cut him off quickly. His brows furrowed, so I tried again. “No, you don’t have to move your stuff. I don’t mind if you paint here, in fact, you can come here whenever. My door’s always open. Hell, you could even stay here if you like.” Each sentence tumbled out of my mouth like word vomit. I couldn’t hold it back even if I tried.

He stilled and I inwardly cringed. Way to go, idiot. You invited him to live with you after one night. Desperate, much?

“I mean, I’m not asking you to, like, move in or anything, I just don’t like being alone and—” Oh dear God I was just making this worse. I let out a nervous squeak of laughter. “You know what, just forget I said anyth—”

His chuckle was low and deep as he drew me in and pressed a soft kiss to my lips, stilting any more words from coming out of me. When he finally pulled away, his voice came out as husky whisper. “No, I get it. As much as I like being on my own, feelin’ lonely sucks. It’s kinda why I like the bunkhouse. Reminds me of being on the ranch with my family. There’s never a quiet moment.” He paused, his next words more of an afterthought than anything. “Sometimes the quiet gets too quiet, you know?”

I nodded, a whisper of sadness stirring within my heart. “After my mom died, it was just my dad and I for the first three years. But I could tell he hated being there, so I was alone a lot while he worked and vacationed and did whatever my dad does for fun. I lived so close to campus for college that I didn’t see a reason to stay in the dorms or rent a place, so I stayed at my parents, even if it was lonely and reminded me of my mom.”

“I’m sorry. You still live there now?”

“No, I live with Whit. We met, like, a year or so ago while I was interning for this event company. She was the hair and makeup artist that the client hired for the wedding. We just kinda gravitated toward each other that day, and when the event was over, we just…stuck together. She was looking for a roommate and asked me if I wanted to move in, so I did.”

“That’s cool that you have her.”

“Tell me about it. I mean, she’s crazy, but a good kind of crazy. She keeps me on my toes, and the house is never quiet when she’s home.”

He chuckled. “That ain’t surprising. She seems fiery.”

“That’s a good way to explain her,” I replied with a soft laugh.

“So, how come you’re stayin’ here? I thought you had that job in California?” The way his hands moved up and down my spine, so soft, yet sure of their path, it felt absolutely amazing and more than a bit distracting.

“I haven’t turned down the California job yet. It’s still there, but my start date isn’t until late August. I like the notoriety that would come with working for them, as well as how much I’d hopefully learn, but this business proposal from my dad could be interesting too. I’d get to essentially be my own boss, do things my way, and…” I pursed my lips, trying to figure out if I should tell him that he was part of the reason for staying? Would he think I was crazy—I mean, a part of me thought I was crazy—or would he understand? I know he said that he felt like this was real too, but… I don’t know, what if it wasn’t that real for him.

Hux frowned, and he asked, his voice tinged with a hint of worry, “Quinn?”

You know what…? To hell with it.

My heart beat a million miles a minute, but I pushed back the fear and said, “I’m gonna be completely honest with you, because, well, I’d rather know now if you think I’m crazy or not—” I blew out a breath. “I’ve never felt a connection like this before. Ever. And maybe it’s infatuation, or that I typically have shit luck with relationships and you seem different than the rest, or maybe I’m just completely reading more into this than I should…but meeting you—”

My gaze dropped to rest on his tattoo; I couldn’t meet his stare. Even though he wouldn’t know what I was looking at, I felt too self-conscious. So I traced his tattoo with my fingers instead, as I continued on, “I know this is gonna sound super cheesy, and I’m fully aware of how crazy this is, but the moment I saw you, it was like my heart woke up and said ‘mine’.”

A peel of nervous laughter escaped me and I hid my head in my hands as my throat squeezed tight. I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. He probably thought I was a crazy person. And the fact he seemed so lost in thought, making no attempt to speak, was all the more nerve wracking. Biting back the familiar sting of tears in my eyes, since now I was an emotional wreck, I whispered with a fake cheerfulness, “Anyway, feel free to tell me I'm crazy. But I want to explore this. I want to see if this connection is as special as it feels before I go back home.”

He was quiet—painfully quiet—for so long I thought maybe somehow, some way he hadn’t heard me. Each second that passed sent my nerves skyrocketing, but he still held me, so I couldn’t have completely screwed things up, right?

“Well, if you’re crazy, I’m crazy too.” The low timber of his voice was a balm to the fear burning in my chest.

I finally braved a look up at him, finding a softness to the set of his jaw. And this close, with the way his soulful amber eyes rested on me, it was easy to imagine him still having his vision. “How so?”

He lifted a hand to my face and slowly tucked a piece of hair behind my ear. “The minute I heard you singin’ in the grocery store, I just—I had to find you. I think somethin’ in my soul woke up then too. I hadn’t felt warmth or anything like that for a long time.”

Trying to stop the grin spreading across my lips was like trying to stop the sun from rising—impossible. “Really?”

A nod as he brushed his fingers tips along the curve of my jaw. A shiver went through me, a burning heat stirring once more.

I bit my lip and asked, “Do you believe in love at first sight?”

“Well, that don’t really apply to me, now does it, darlin’?” His breath fanned against my cheeks with his answering huff of laughter. “But I guess you could say love at first…song? Speech? Fuck, I don’t know.”

I laughed and pressed a teasing hand to his chest. “Oh my God, Hux.” Sobering slightly, I went on, “But yes. Like fate or soulmates?”

He gripped my chin, his unfocused gaze holding me captive as his lips drifted dangerously close to my mouth. “I believe this ain’t somethin’ I’ve ever felt before. Fate, soulmates, whatever the hell you wanna call it, I’m drawn to you, Quinn, like a moth to a flame. Like a sailor to the sea. All I can think, all I breathe, all I see is you.”

A breathy gasp escaped me at his words. At the raw honesty in his tone. He felt the same. I wasn’t crazy. I mean—maybe I still was, maybe we both were. But if being crazy meant exploring this with him…I didn’t want to be sane.

More words tumbled out of his mouth before I could respond. “I’ve never been one for goin’ slow or holdin’ back. So, why start now?”

I pressed my forehead to his, our lips but a breath away from each other. “I’m not usually quite so reckless, but I like to think I follow my heart. And my heart wants you, Hux.”

He kissed me. Slow and deep and sensual. It sent my heart fluttering in my chest, this feeling of peace overwhelming me so thoroughly it stole the air from my lungs.

Words, thoughts, everything but the feel of him became impossible to process as our mouths and hands explored one another. He made love to me in the tub, taking his sweet, sweet time, and then after we’d washed off the paint from each other, I’d led him to the room where we did it again.

I was wild. I was wanton. I was hooked on Hux.