An Icy Christmas Engagement (Christmas Matches of Worth #1)

Chapter Seventeen

Caroline sat poised with her hand over the paper, quill in hand. Nothing came. Last night, she’d churned out pages of writing, rushing home to write after her perfect night with Cedric. Inspiration had poured out of her and she hadn’t slept until it was almost dawn.

Now, she could think of nothing. She could focus on nothing else but Cedric and their kiss.

The rest of the night had been perfect. Just as Cedric had said, she’d spent most of the night by his side. She’d met his close friend and business partner, Harrison, who spent much of the night making jokes at Cedric’s expense. Lady Hutton and her daughter Lily had approached at intervals as well, peppering Caroline with questions she could barely keep up with. Lily’s husband, Jacob, scarcely left her side but he remained mostly quiet, content to allow his chatty wife and her mother to do most of the talking.

Elizabeth hadn’t been fond of Caroline’s new company, of course. But every time she tried to pry Caroline away, she was distracted by Lady Hutton and could never follow through. Caroline could have kissed the other woman.

All in all, it felt like a perfect night. A perfect kiss with a perfect man. Which had led to hours of writing afterwards.

So why couldn’t she get anything out now?

Caroline stared at the page, imagining her dashing hero in the same setting as the ball last night. Every time she did, however, a sense of unease came over her. As if someone was watching her. She’d felt the very same thing a number of times last night, but the feeling had disappeared so quickly that she’d forgotten about it. But now as she recalled all that had happened the night before, she was sure of it. Once or twice, it felt as if someone had been watching her.

“Caroline!”

Her door banged open, startling her. Louisa marched in with her skirt bunched in her hands .

Caroline frowned as Louisa perched on the edge of Caroline’s writing desk. “What’s the matter?”

“What’s the matter, you say? I have been waiting for hours and you have yet to provide the juicy details of what happened between Lord Colenhurst and you. Do you think it is easy having tea with your mother while she questions me about the same thing? While I do thoroughly enjoy playing the fool where appropriate, I certainly do not like being in the dark as well.”

Caroline blinked at her, then sighed. “So dramatic. You are as bad as the worst gossip in London.”

“Say whatever you’d like, Caroline, as long as you tell me what happened.”

“What makes you think something happened?”

“Because I know you. You returned to the ballroom and went straight to Lord Colenhurst’s side with a bright smile on your face. Something happened when you went out to the terrace.”

“How did you even know that I did that?”

“When will you learn that I know everything, Caroline?”

“Except what happened in the gardens,” Caroline murmured.

Louisa gasped so dramatically that Caroline couldn’t help but laugh. Her friend clearly did not share in her humor, narrowing her eyes. “That was not fair, Caroline. But correct. Now tell me before I am forced to pry it out of you.”

Caroline returned her dry quill pen back to the inkwell and turned to face Louisa fully. “We kissed.”

Louisa gasped, eyes wide.

“It is nothing worthy of note,” Caroline quickly clarified. “I have been married before so I am well aware of what happens between a husband and wife. I am no innocent. And yet…”

“Yet…?”

Caroline bit her lip. She wanted to be calm about this. Because she was right, she was not an innocent maiden anymore so there was no reason to get flustered about a simple kiss.

Yet…

“Louisa, I think I am falling in love,” she confessed quietly .

Louisa’s eyes looked as if they were about to fly right out of her head. Her mouth opened and closed many times, clearly not knowing how to respond. At last, she settled on. “Oh.”

Bashful all of a sudden, Caroline stood and went over to the window to sit. “It sounds foolish, does it not?”

Louisa was quiet for a moment. Then, “Perhaps to others. You have not known him for very long. But you and I know better than to assume time has anything to do with the feelings in one’s hearts.”

“How poetic,” Caroline said with a rueful smile. “And here I thought you didn’t care about love.”

“I do, to an extent.” Louisa came to join her by the window, smiling softly. “Especially when I know my best friend has longed for it all her life though she never admits it aloud. I see it in her passion for writing. And if you are falling in love with the Ice Earl then I am happy for you.”

Caroline smiled. She leaned in, resting her head on Louisa’s shoulder. “It sounds insane. And I know Mother will be completely against it. She is not fond of Cedric and his reputation.”

“There are a lot of things Lady York would be against but that has not stopped you. Your writing, for one.”

“Oh but you and I know that she would throw the large fit known to man if she were to ever find out. I do not think I will ever be able to live it down. I will be Robert Winters for all my life, I’m sure.”

“A sad reality for us women,” Louisa sighed. “I wish it were different. Do you think Lord Colenhurst would have the same view?”

Caroline honestly couldn’t tell. She wanted to think Cedric was progressive but the lack of certainty brought doubt.

“Let us hope he does not,” she said at last.

“Either way, I’m sure everything will work out. Now, aren’t you forgetting something?”

Caroline straightened, frowning at Louisa in confusion. Louisa sighed and jerked her head at Caroline’s desk. When Caroline still didn’t get the gist, she said, “You have a meeting with your publisher? ”

“Yes, you’re right!” Caroline exclaimed as she flew to her feet. She snatched up her portfolio and began stuffing the papers inside. “I will have to sneak by Mother before she continues hounding me about last night. Goodness, she is quite determined.”

“It is like looking in a mirror, is it not?” Louisa drawled, smiling. “Don’t worry. I shall distract her while you sneak out.”

“Have I ever told you that I love you?”

“It is not me you should be telling,” Louisa laughed, but Caroline could only blush. She couldn’t imagine telling Cedric about her feelings when she had hardly come to terms with it herself.

Caroline said nothing, making her way to the door. As soon as she stepped into the hallway, she noticed her mother making her way towards her. Caroline quickly slipped back inside before Elizabeth spotted her.

“She’s already on her way to me,” she whispered frantically to Louisa.

Louisa nodded in determination, making her way by her. Caroline watched as she slipped out of the room and gasped. “Lady York, goodness, I have been looking all over for you!”

“For me?” Caroline heard her mother say. “But I was just downstairs with you.”

“Yes, well, perhaps not all over,” Louisa laughed airily. “But I have been wanting to speak with you again. I was just searching Caroline’s room, you see, to find out if she has been hiding something from us.”

“Oh, is Caroline not there? I was on my way to speak to her.”

“She’s not. I do not know where she is. Perhaps she went for a walk. You know how she can never keep herself still.” Caroline crept closer to the door, listening to Louisa’s voice grow fainter. “Come, let us go to the drawing room so that we may gossip about her in comfort.”

Caroline bit her lip to keep in her laughter. She made sure she couldn’t hear anything else before she poked her head outside. The coast was clear so she hurried out, going the opposite direction Louisa and Elizabeth had gone. She kept her eyes peeled and ears perked as she quickly made her way out of the house.

She didn’t relax until she was out on the street, fighting the bitter cold with her meager coat. That only brought Cedric back to her mind and a surge of heat to her cheeks when she recalled the first time he’d given her his coat. She knew she should return them and couldn’t understand why she wanted to hold on to them so badly. They were entirely too large to be of any real use to her and yet…

She wanted to see him. As she continued walking, hardly aware of her surroundings since it was a route she was used to traversing, Caroline wondered if it would be completely crazy for her to try and find his business place again. Surely he would be spending most of his time there?

She dismissed the thought as quickly as it came. Yes, it would be insane. There was no doubt about that.

Arriving at Mr. Holloway’s establishment did not bring as much apprehension as it usually did. She’d been writing a lot lately, nearing the conclusion of her novel, and she was confident that it was quality work. When Mr. Holloway confirmed that and had very little revisions for her to make, it only proved her point.

As she left, she felt a little more motivated to write and decided to do exactly that when she returned home. The Twelfth Night was not far off, after all, and she still had a lot more to do.

She heard a carriage coming up from behind her, the speed at which it was going making the wheels rattle loudly. She drifted further away from the street without thinking much of it.

Suddenly, the carriage hurtled past so close that it sent muddy water all over her shoes and skirt. Caroline sprang back in alarm. The carriage didn’t stop, racing into the fog rolling in from the distance. But a face poked out the window…and she could have sworn she caught the end of a smile.

Caroline could only stand there in shock. Somehow, that felt intentional. But surely not? Why would anyone go out of their way to douse her in muddy water? As far as she knew, she had not angered anyone so why would they?

She straightened and checked to make sure her portfolio hadn’t gotten any water on it. Thankfully, none of it passed her thighs so the portfolio remained untouched. Squaring her shoulders, she continued, but she couldn’t shake the feeling that someone might be out to harm her.

** *

Cedric was a cold mask of fury as he stared at Mr. Thatcher. The silence was dense and heavy. Harrison stood in the corner of the office, arms crossed, looking equally angry at what had just been said.

Mr. Thatcher, to his credit, didn’t seem perturbed by the stony silence. He did, however, reach for his small pocket book again and flipped through it before saying, “Would you like for me to continue with my report or do you want more time to process what I just said?”

Cedric had to admire the gall of this man. Clearly he was used to being in the presence of powerful people and either knew how to handle himself or was not intimidated in the slightest.

It didn’t quell Cedric’s anger, however. “You have been investigating this for a while,” he said slowly, interlacing his fingers. “So pardon me if I am surprised to hear you say that you are no closer to figuring out who is behind all of this.”

“Whoever it is has covered their tracks very well,” Mr. Thatcher stated plainly. “I cannot deny that and it will take me a little more time. But that does not mean I do not have anything to report. I do in fact have,” he glanced at his pocket book, “one important thing to say.”

“How important could it be if it is the only thing you have learned after so many days?” Cedric growled.

Mr. Thatcher glanced back at his book. “Rather important, I would say.”

“Then by all means, good man, go ahead,” Harrison grumbled from his spot by the window.

Mr. Thatcher was unbothered by Harrison’s tone. He cleared his throat then began, “The perpetrator is wily and cunning and has proved capable of covering his tracks rather thoroughly. However, I have heard whispers that there is another attack due on your incoming shipment.”

Cedric lurched out of his chair. “What?” he roared.

Mr. Thatcher looked up at him then back at the book. He continued in the same bland tone as before. “This attack will be carried out once your ship arrives at the wharf tonight and should cost you thousands of pounds.”

Harrison stalked forward. “Where are you hearing these whispers?” he demanded to know.

“Someone, I assume one of the workers at the wharf, gave me the information. A few tankards of ale had loosened his tongue but he could not tell me who gave him the order nor did he know anything about the previous sabotage attempts. He is being paid to carry out a job and that’s all he knows or cares to know.”

“I need the name of the worker,” Cedric ordered. “And every bit of detail about this plan.”

“His name is Edward Humbridge. The ship is set to arrive close to midnight. It will be raided immediately as it docks and the goods will be carted off in the dead of night. There are a number of others who will provide the thieves easier access to the ship. Clearly a lot of people had been paid off.”

Cedric bit out a curse. He’d let his guard down for too long. He should have been patrolling, and should have been questioning everyone involved with his business. He should not have left this all in the hands of the private investigator.

“The good news is that we know about the plan,” Harrison said as if he could sense the direction of Cedric’s thoughts. “We’ll be able to stop it, if this information Mr. Thatcher received is true.”

“I deem it to be so,” Mr. Thatcher spoke up. “In my professional opinion, of course. Now, I shall take my leave. As you well know, there is still much work to be done.”

“You do not say,” Cedric snapped and Harrison sighed.

“Let us know if you learn anything else, Mr. Thatcher,” Harrison told him and the private investigator left without another word.

Cedric cursed again, his fury through the roof. It was one thing to learn that he was no closer to knowing who was behind the attacks. But now, to find out that there was another attack being planned right under his nose? The semblance of contentment he’d fallen under these past few days withered away instantly.

“It would be wise of us to pretend we do not know what is going to happen,” Harrison spoke .

Cedric nodded stiffly. “We should contact the authorities as well.”

Harrison sighed. “I suppose I should return home and rest. It is bound to be a long night.”

Cedric didn’t respond as Harrison took his leave. Once he was alone, he heaved a heavy sigh, sinking into the chair. The blissful haze he’d been under since last night’s ball was gone. It certainly didn’t help that there was still a letter from Ambrose sitting on his desk, reminding Cedric that he was still waiting for his response.

He couldn’t be here any longer. Cedric got up and stalked out of the office, grabbing his coat on the way out.

He headed straight for Grace’s residence and was happy to learn that she was not out when he arrived. Cedric found her in the drawing room enjoying her tea. Her only acknowledgement of his presence was a slight raise of her brows as he ambled over and sank into the chair across from her.

“All is descending into chaos,” Cedric declared as he sighed. “And I do not know what to do.”

Grace took her time in responding. She enjoyed a few more sips of her tea before she slowly set it on its saucer and leveled her eyes on Cedric. “Are you talking about the business or Lady Winterbourne?”

Cedric frowned, straightening. “Why would I be talking about Lady Winterbourne?”

Grace shrugged. “I do not know. What I do know is that you have scarcely been able to focus on anything else but those two topics. I thought it was a decent deduction.”

Cedric was about to deny it when he realized with a start that his aunt was right. If he was not worrying about the business, he was daydreaming about Caroline. Especially after last night.

“So?” Grace probed. “Which is it?”

“Both,” Cedric relented at last.

“Interesting. Why don’t you start from the beginning?”

Cedric sighed again. He didn’t know why he came here. He was not the type to talk to others about his feelings. Confronting his emotions and problems himself was the only thing he was used to. But they were mounting in him and he needed a release. For once, he supposed it wouldn’t hurt if he tried venting.

“I cannot stop thinking about her,” he began at last. “From the moment I wake to the moment I close my eyes at nights, she is the only thing on my mind. Even when I am trying to work, to focus on the matters I am expected to take care of during the day, she plagues my every thought.”

“You do not seem very bothered by that,” Grace pointed out, sounding a little pleased.

“At first I was. I hardly knew her and our interactions have not been anything worthy of note. But she struck a chord in me and after last night…”

“Say no more. You are smitten with her.”

Again he wanted to deny it. But she was right, he realized. Why did it take him so long to come to that simple conclusion?

“It feels different…from before.”

“With Lady Ashworth?”

Cedric winced when Isabella’s face appeared in his mind. “With her I felt as if I had to show her that I was perfect. But with Caroline, I am myself without having to think about it.”

Grace reached for her cup and hid her smile behind it. “Interesting. So why do you sound so glum about it?”

“Ambrose wants me to marry his daughter,” he said at last. “And I am considering it.”

“Why in God’s name would you do that?”

“He has offered to help me save the business. It is crumbling right in front of my eyes and I am afraid I do not have what it takes to bring it back to its former glory. I cannot let everything my father built be destroyed like this. I can’t.”

Grace was silent for a moment, which only increased his trepidation. Grace was the wisest person he knew. If she didn’t know what to say to help him then he was truly at his wit’s end.

“Sometimes duty and desire stand on opposite ends,” she said at last. “And on rare occasions, they are one and the same. In the case that they oppose each other, you can only ask yourself what you are more willing to give up?” He frowned in confusion and she expounded, “You are losing something by choosing the other. Are you willing to lose the love of your life or the legacy of your father? Which is more important to you?”

“That is an unfair question,” Cedric couldn’t help but grumble.

“Life is unfair. If it wasn’t, you wouldn’t be in this predicament in the first place.”

“I thought you would be able to tell me what I should do.”

“And bear the responsibility if something goes wrong?” Grace huffed a laugh. “I would not be so foolish.”

He knew she was jesting but he did not have the strength to smile.

“Your parents loved you, you know,” she said softly. “They wanted you to be successful. That business was not for your father but to leave a legacy for you. Everything they had ever done was for you. They wanted your future to be a successful and secure one. But above all, Cedric, they wanted you to be happy. So choose happiness.”

Cedric thought of his mother’s warm smile and the memory of his father’s comforting hand on his shoulder. His throat began to burn.

“Thank you,” he managed to push out. “That is of great help.”

“I’m happy to hear it. Will you stay to have a cup of tea?”

“I have no choice in the matter, I’m sure.”

“Smart man.”

Cedric finally felt the pull of a smile and allowed Grace to pour him his tea. There was much to be done, of course. And while her response had provided some clarity, he was still unsure of what decision to make. But he was clear on one thing: he had to make sure he was happy.