Are You Ready? (Everlasting Ink #3)

Chapter 15

CHAPTER

FIFTEEN

Forrest

“Now that we’ve had our spa day, I thought we could go fishing,” I tell the girls. Our spa day consisted of them doing my hair and painting my nails, and I did the same for them. We all looked like a four-year-old handled the situation. I need to step up my game of doing their hair. Briar wouldn’t let them out of the house looking like this. Lucky for them, it’s just the three of us today. I’m rocking my pigtails and my blue and green sparkle nails.

“Fishing?” River wrinkles up her nose. “We don’t know how to fish, Forty.”

“How do you do it?” Rayne asks.

“Lucky for you, I was thinking ahead. I bought you fishing poles.”

“You did?” They gasp at the same time.

I smile at their reaction. I love that they are so in tune with each other. I’ve not spent a ton of time around Briar and Brogan without a big crowd, but I can imagine they are the same way.

“I sure did,” I answer. “But before we go, we have to go over some rules. ”

“We’ll be good, Forty,” Rayne assures me.

“I know, sweetheart, but these rules are to keep you safe.”

River gasps. “Is fishing scary?”

“Not at all. Fishing is fun, but it can be dangerous if you get too close to the water.”

“We swim,” Rayne says.

“You do, but a big body of water is deeper than a pool. It’s important that you stay with me, and don’t wander off or get too close to the edge.”

“We can do that, right, sissy?” River says.

“We can do that.” Rayne nods in agreement.

“Thank you. Now, I’ve got a cooler in my truck all packed up and our poles. Do you have some old play shoes?” I ask them.

“We gots flip-flops,” River says.

“I better ask your momma.” Grabbing my phone, I fire off a text to Briar. I hate to bother her, but I’d rather be safe than sorry.

Me: Hey, babe. Can I take the girls fishing at the river in flip-flops, or do they have old play shoes?

Her reply is immediate.

Briar: Flip-flops are fine. They do have play shoes. They’re at the bottom of the closet next to the front door.

Me: Thank you.

Briar: They don’t have poles.

Me: They do now. I bought them for them last night.

Briar: Don’t spoil them, Forrest.

Me: Okay, I’ll most definitely spoil them. Enjoy your day, baby.

Shoving my phone into my pocket, I smile at the girls. “Okay, ladies, your momma said flip-flops are fine. Go use the potty and we’ll go.”

“I don’t gots to potty,” River tells me .

“Well, can you try for me? I’m going to go too. There’s not a bathroom down by the river.”

“I’ll try for you,” Rayne says.

“Me too.” They take off, racing down the hall. My phone vibrates and I know it’s Briar. Unable to resist a message from my girl, I dig my phone back out of my pocket to see what she has to say.

Briar: What am I going to do with you?

“I can think of a few things,” I mumble as I type out my reply.

Me: Keep me.

Briar: Tempting.

Me: I’m already yours, so you don’t have a choice. I just wanted you to think you did.

She replies with a string of laughing emoji. I can see her smiling face and her sparkling green eyes in my mind. I hope she’s enjoying herself as much as I am. I truly enjoy spending time with the girls. I’m honored that she trusted me with them. I know what that took for her.

“Ready!” Rayne and River say as they come racing back into the room.

“Okay, I’m going to go use the potty. Wait here for me.” I take off down the hall and make a quick bathroom break. There is water all over the bathroom sink, and a small puddle on the floor. I chuckle as I grab the towel to mop up the mess. At least they washed their hands.

I find the girls standing next to the door, bouncing on the balls of their feet with excitement. “Oh, I’ll need to lock the door. Let me text your mom.”

Me: Do you have a spare key so I can lock the house while we’re down by the river?

Briar: My keys are on the hook by the front door.

Me: Thanks, babe.

Grabbing her keys, recognizing her keychain with a picture of the girls as babies, I shove them into my pocket and lead the girls out to my truck .

Briar: There’s a wagon in the garage if you want to take that.

Me: Nah, I think we’ll be fine.

Briar: It comes in handy.

Me: I got this, Momma.

Briar: Have fun!

“Let’s do this.” I grab the fishing poles and toss the cooler strap over my shoulder. The small tackle box I brought just for this, their small chairs in a bag I bought with the poles, along with a larger one for me, and the small bag of snacks I picked up for the excursion. Thankfully, I didn’t bring my pole. I figured I’d have my hands full helping the girls.

“That’s much stuff,” Rayne says, eyeing me warily.

I’m loaded down, so I don’t have a free hand to hold theirs. Looks like Briar was right, and the wagon is a good idea. “You know what? Let’s take the wagon. Mommy said it was in the garage.”

Placing everything on the driveway, I walk hand in hand with the girls back into the house and to the garage to get the wagon. Once we have it outside and the house is locked up again, I load up the wagon, and we’re ready for our adventure.

“Girls, hold hands, and one of you hold mine.” They do as they’re told, linking hands as Rayne slides her tiny hand in mine. “Let’s do this.”

I might have misjudged the girls liking fishing. It’s been an hour, and they’ve already lost interest. They’re sitting on their lawn chairs with their heads tilted back, looking up at the clouds.

“You ready to head back to the house?” I ask them.

“I’m tired,” River whines.

“Me too,” Rayne agrees.

“Okay. Let’s get loaded up and we can head back and take a nap.”

“I don’t like naps.” River crosses her arms over her chest and juts out her bottom lip. It’s cute as hell, but of course, I keep that to myself .

“Okay, we’ll just relax then.” I make quick work of packing up the wagon, grateful Briar suggested it when Rayne drops a bomb on me.

“I want to ride.”

“Dazzle, the wagon is full.”

“Mommy lets us ride.” Her lip juts out to match her sister’s, and her eyes grow wet with tears.

“Right.” Mommy lets them. I take a few seconds to assess the situation. I can’t make them walk back to the house. Sure, it’s not that far, but they’re little. Quickly, I unpack the wagon. “Hop in,” I tell them.

Their frowns are turned upside down as they scramble from their chairs to climb into the wagon. “I’m going to need your help. Do you think you can help me?”

“With what?” River asks cautiously, as if she thinks I’m going to make her get back out of her cushy spot in the wagon.

“I can’t pull the wagon and carry all of our stuff. Can you be my big helpers and hold some of it for me?” I ask them.

“I like to help,” Rayne replies.

“Me too,” River agrees.

They’re missing their usual enthusiasm, so I know they’re tired. I didn’t think about them needing a nap. We’ve had a pretty exciting day so far. Rookie mistake on my part. I’ll get better at this. I hand River the tackle box while Rayne holds the bag of snacks. That leaves me with all three chairs and the cooler. “Do we have room for these?” I ask, nodding to their small chairs.

“I can hold more.” Rayne speaks up.

“Oh, me too,” River says, not one to be outdone by her sister.

I add their chairs to the wagon, sling my chair and the cooler over my shoulder, hold their poles in one hand, and begin the short trek back to the house with the wagon held in the other. It’s not far, maybe seven hundred feet or so. By the time we reach the house, their eyes are drooping. I have a feeling if I get them on the couch, or in their beds and it’s nice and quiet, they’ll both be down for the count .

Twenty minutes later, the wagon is unloaded. The supplies are back in my truck, and the girls are on the couch with a cartoon, eyes drooping, just as I suspected. I sit down on the couch, and they crawl over to me. I have one on each side, and within minutes, they’re asleep. I snap a quick picture to send to Briar and close my eyes. Sleep when they sleep, right? That’s what Roman and Emerson preached when Lilly was a baby. I figure that still fits if they’re four. Either way, I’m too comfy to move, and I don’t want to wake them, so a nap for the three of us is just what the doctor ordered.

“Ladies, you made me proud. You ate all of your dinner.” I praise the girls when I toss their paper plates in the trash. When I asked them what they wanted for dinner, they said pizza. Thirty minutes later, we had a hot delivery on the doorstep.

“It was yummy.” River smiles. She looks adorable. They both do with sauce smeared all over their faces.

“What now?” Rayne asks.

They’ve kept me hopping all day. Our nap lasted all of twenty minutes before the girls were wide awake and ready to party. I gave them horsey rides around the living room. My knees are thankful for the nice plush carpet in that room. Then we played with their Barbies, which consisted of me pushing their Barbie Jeeps around, making car noises, and the girls giggling like they were at a comedy show. After Barbies, they decided my hair needed to be done again, so it was back to the salon I went.

“Once we clean up, I have a plan.” I rub my hands together to show them my excitement, and they take the bait.

“What is it?” Rayne asks.

“I can’t tell you until you’re cleaned up and in your jammies.” It’s a little after seven, and they’re usually in bed by eight. I’m exhausted, so they have to be. I have an all-new respect for Briar doing this on her own. I know she’s had Brogan, but Briar’s their mom, and my girl deserves props.

“Okay!” they cheer and race off down the hall. I wipe down the table before joining them in the bathroom. I help them wash their faces and brush their teeth before we move across the hall to their bedroom. Once they have jammies picked out, I help them change. I know they don’t need it, but they asked for it, and who am I to refuse them?

“Now, this is very important. Are you ready?” I ask them. They nod, their little bodies vibrating with excitement. “I need you to grab your pillows from your beds. Do you know where mommy keeps the extra blankets?”

“We gots lots of those,” River tells me.

“In the hallway.” Rayne points toward the hallway.

“Perfect. Take your pillows to the couch and wait for me.”

“Okay!” they chorus as they rush to grab their pillows and take off down the hall toward the living room.

In the hallway, I open the closet door and sure enough, there are lots of blankets. I grab an armful, and head to the living room. River and Rayne are standing in front of the couch in their jammies, holding their pillows.

I drop the blankets in a pile on the floor. “Have you ever built a fort?” I ask them.

“A fort?” Rayne tilts her head to the side.

“What’s a fort?” River asks.

“We move the furniture around and build a fort, kind of like a tent with blankets,” I explain.

“Can we help?” River asks.

“You bet. First, I’ll need you to hop up on the couch.” They do as I say. “Hold on,” I tell them as I move the couch a few feet forward. The girls are laughing as I do. “Stay there while I move the rest.” I get busy moving the coffee table, and the love seat and two chairs. I get them in a nice three-sided square.

“Now what?” Rayne questions.

“Now, we drape the blankets over them and place pillows and anything we can find that won’t break to hold them up.” The girls climb off the couch and the three of us get to work. It takes some time, but thirty minutes later, we have a pretty damn nice blanket fort in the living room.

“Now what do we do, Forty?” River asks .

“Now, we enjoy our fort.” Dropping to my knees, I crawl into the fort and settle on the pad of blankets and pillows. The girls giggle and follow me in. “Let’s snuggle and read a book.” I reach for the small stack of books I got from their room and the flashlight I found in the hall closet when I was grabbing more blankets. The twins curl up next to me and, by the glow of the flashlight, I read them a story. They’re both out cold before I get to the last page.

Turning off the flashlight and tossing it to the side with the book, I snuggle them close and close my eyes. I’m not going to sleep, just rest. Running after two tiny humans and keeping them occupied is harder than I thought it would be. Regardless, I wouldn’t change a single thing about today. I’ve enjoyed my time with them.

My eyelids pop open, feeling like someone is watching me. Once my eyes are focused, I see Briar kneeling at the opening of our fort, with a soft smile on her face.

“Hey,” she whispers.

Before I greet her, I carefully move the girls off my chest and crawl out of the fort. As soon as I’m on my feet, I wrap my arm around her waist and pull her into a kiss. “Hey, baby. Did you have a good day?”

“We did. Looks like you did as well.”

“They’re great kids, Briar.”

“Fancy building skills you got there,” Brogan whispers, her tone light and teasing.

“Thank you. I had two adorable little assistants.”

Brogan chuckles. “I’m calling it a night. See you in the morning.” She waves over her shoulder as she disappears down the hall.

“I should carry them to bed,” I say, looking back at the fort where the girls are sleeping.

“They’re fine for now. Are you in a hurry to get home?”

“Am I in a hurry to leave my girls? Nope. What are you thinking?” I pull her a little closer because I can never seem to get her close enough .

“Let’s sit outside. It’s a nice night. Not too hot.”

“Lead the way, baby.” I release her, only to lace her fingers with mine. She leads us outside to the back patio. The lights are off, but the moonlight gives off a nice glow.

Briar releases my hand and takes a seat on one of the loungers. Something is off, but I don’t know what it is. She seems to be stressed. Was it something I did with the girls today? Did my sister or one of the other ladies upset her? My mind is racing. Whatever it is, she’s giving off vibes that she doesn’t want me to squeeze into the lounger either. Instead, I drag another close to her and take a seat.

I don’t speak, letting her collect her thoughts. I don’t want to push her, but she invited me out here, so that tells me she wants to talk. She’s just not ready.

Tilting my head back, I stare up at the night sky. It’s a full moon, and the stars are shining brightly. It’s the perfect night for a bonfire, and a few years ago, that’s exactly how me and the guys would have spent this night. However, as with everything, life changes. Roman and Legend each have a wife and a family. Well, Legend has one on the way. We’re still close, but we’re not all we have anymore.

“I don’t know who their dad is.”

Briar’s voice is raspy as she drops that truth bomb in my lap. What do I say to that? What does she mean, she doesn’t know who their dad is?

“Let me get through this. Please.”

“Okay,” I croak. My voice is gravelly as my mind races, and I try to understand what she just said.

“It was the summer after graduation. Brogan and I got invited to a party. It was a college party. We were excited to be invited. We were eating at a restaurant in downtown Nashville when a group of guys came in. Their table was next to ours. They flirted. We flirted back. They invited us to the party, and we accepted.”

I can already tell I don’t like where this is going.

“We didn’t tell our dad where we were going. Just that we were hanging out with friends. We showed up at the party and didn’t know anyone there. That didn’t stop us, though. We had each other. We grabbed drinks from the keg. We watched the pour, and I even insisted on looking inside the cup before they poured. The guy was annoyed with me, but he let me do it. I don’t know how it happened, Forrest. We were so careful.”

Her voice cracks on a sob, and it’s killing me not to pull her into my arms and comfort her, but she asked me to let her get through this, so I sit here with my heart tearing to shreds as I listen to her story. Not just her story, but her truth.

“I don’t remember any of it. Nothing. I woke up the next morning with a pounding headache, my pants around my ankles, and an ache between my thighs. There was blood on the sheets.”

My hands ball into fists.

“They took that from me. My first time. My innocence. Brogan, she woke up alone. Her clothes were intact and no sign of—that. Of rape. Not like me.”

Motherfucker.

She sucks in a ragged breath, trying to get a handle on her emotions. “I didn’t know what to do. I got dressed. My movements were sluggish. I found Brogan in the living room screaming the place down, demanding to know where I was. As soon as she saw me, we bolted. I didn’t tell her until we got home. I didn’t tell anyone other than Brogan. I just wanted to forget it ever happened. I couldn’t remember it, so I pretended as if it had never happened.”

“Briar—” I try, but she shakes her head, holding her hand up to stop me.

“Brogan stuck by my side. We stopped going out with friends and spent a lot of time at home. When it was time for me to get my period, and it never came, I knew. In my gut, I knew. My sister, she went and bought one of every brand of pregnancy test, and I took them all. They were all positive.”

She’s breathing hard, tears coating her cheeks. I know because I’m staring at this beautiful woman in the glow of the moonlight as she tears open old wounds to let me into her life, and I hope like hell into her heart.

“I was so scared. Brogan, she was my rock, the only solid piece of my crumbling foundation. She was with me when I told our dad. I was so worried that he was going to be disappointed in me. He was angry on my behalf, but it was too late. Any evidence was long gone, and I had no way of knowing who… violated me that night. My dad he… he was the best dad. He told me it was my choice. The three of us went to my first OB appointment, where the doctor listened to my story and reviewed my options. At the time, I thought it was one baby.”

Her breath shudders, but she keeps pushing through while my fists are so tight, I fear my skin might break open.

“I took two weeks to think about it. I read everything I could about each option, but at the end of the day, the baby was a part of me. The only option I could consider was keeping it.”

She smiles, but it’s a sad smile that doesn’t reach her eyes. “When I found out it was twins, I was stunned but didn’t have time to dwell. Two days later, my dad was diagnosed with stage four pancreatic cancer.”

My chest is tight. My heart is cracked wide open for this woman. My woman. I’m trying to tamp down my anger for her benefit. Now is not the time to be raging mad. I know that. I’m trying, but I’m so fucking angry that this happened to her. She’s been dealt a tough hand, one I never could have imagined. I knew she had a past, something she was keeping close to her chest, but I never imagined that it was this.

“I know this changes things. I know it’s a lot, but I have one favor to ask of you.”

“Anything,” I force the reply past my lips.

“Don’t—Don’t hold it against them. They love you, Forrest.”

“What the fuck?”

“Thank you for listening. Please… can you keep this between us?”

“Briar.” She doesn’t look at me. “Baby, look at me.”

“I can’t,” she cries. “It’s too painful. Just go.”

Go? How in the fuck am I supposed to leave after that? Does she really expect me to walk away?

Yeah, no. That’s not how this is going to work.