Are You Ready? (Everlasting Ink #3)

Chapter 17

CHAPTER

SEVENTEEN

Forrest

“It was nice of your girl to have us all over,” Lachlan tells me.

We’re sitting in lawn chairs in Briar and Brogan’s backyard. Today is July Fourth, and as it turns out, Ashby’s fireworks are set off on the other side of the river. There is a clear view from their backyard. Instead of having our annual Fourth of July party at my place, Briar and Brogan insisted we have it here. In the past, we never cared much about the fireworks. We’d let a few off in my backyard. I’d take Emerson when she was younger, but it wasn't that important as she got older and lost interest.

That’s about to change.

We have littles in the family again, and the girls have been stoked about this all week. We’re unsure how Lilly will do, but we’re all here to cuddle her if she hates them. Hopefully, she’ll love them.

“Yeah,” I agree with Lachlan. “The girls are pumped about the fireworks.”

“How’s that going?” he asks .

I turn to look at him. “What? The girls?”

“Yeah, you know, dating a single mom?”

“Good. Great, really. The girls are sweet as hell.”

“Where’s their dad?” Lachlan asks. “That jackass is missing out on seeing his kids grow up.”

“Not in the picture,” I say casually, hiding the anger that wells inside me when I think about what happened to Briar and Brogan that night.

“Good. You’re a better dad than he ever will be. Fucking sperm donors,” he mumbles under his breath.

Lachlan’s biological father is a deadbeat. He gave up his rights to Lachlan before he was born. Two years later, his mom met and married his stepdad. That’s the only father he’s ever known, and you would never know Lachlan isn’t his biological child. He’s been there for Lachlan without fail his entire life.

“I hope to be.”

Before he can answer, Rayne comes running over with tears in her eyes. “Forrest.” Her lip quivers.

“What’s wrong, Dazzle?” I ask, using her nickname, hoping it will cheer her up.

“I hurted my foot.”

“Let me see.” I lift her into my arms and inspect her bare foot. Sure enough, there’s a big red spot on the bottom of her right foot. “What happened?” I ask her.

“A big, big rock,” she says with a huff.

Leaning down, I kiss her foot. “There. All better.”

“You made it better, Forty,” she says, leaning back against my chest.

I wrap my arm around her, and my eyes find Lachlan’s.

“You’re a good man, Forrest Huntley.”

If loving this little girl, her sister, and their momma makes me a good man, then I’m the best there is. There isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for the three of them. I’m itching to say the words. To tell all three of them that I’m here to stay and that my heart is split in three for them, but I hold back. I need her to tell me she’s ready to hear it. Until she’s ready to accept that I love her, saying the words will be empty. When I tell her I love her, I want to see it in her eyes. I want that total acceptance that we are each other’s future. I want to be the girls’ dad. Waiting is torture, but she’s letting me in a little more each day.

“You want me to take her?” I look up to find Briar standing next to my chair.

“Nah, she’s fine. Where’s River?”

“She’s with Brogan. They’re around front, hiding from Maddox with a water gun.”

“I want my water gun,” Rayne says.

“You want me to take you?” I ask her.

“Come on, Rayne. Let's go sneak up on them,” Briar says.

Rayne turns and hugs me. “Love you, Forrest,” she whispers.

My heart stops. Briar freezes, but not me. I wrap my arms around her and kiss her cheek. “Love you, too, Dazzle.” My voice is gruff as I say the words I’ve been dying to let free. I want to tell her sister and her momma too, but Rayne, she got to them first, and no way in hell am I not saying it back.

Rayne smiles and climbs off my lap. “Mommy, I hurted my foot, but Forty kissed it better.” I hear her say as they walk off hand in hand.

Leaning forward, I rest my elbows on my knees. Damn, but my heart is melted into a puddle right now. Who knew a tiny four-year-old could bring me to my knees?

“Damn, bro,” Lachlan mutters.

“Yeah. I’m toast.” I laugh.

“Happy for you, man.”

“Thanks.” I sit back in my chair and let the moment sink in.

I have two daughters. I’m a dad.

“Forrest!” The girls come rushing over.

“Razzle, Dazzle.” I bend and open my arms, accepting a hug from them. “What’s up, ladies?” I ask them .

“Mommy said the fireworks are now.”

“We’re getting close.”

“Who needs a gym when you have twin four-year-olds with unlimited energy?” Briar huffs out as she joins us. She holds up a blanket. “Grabbed one for us.”

“Where are we doing this?” Monroe asks, her own blanket in her hands.

“I don’t know, but I’m ready,” Maggie says.

“Do you think we have time for popcorn?” Maddox asks.

The girls giggle. “Mad, we don’t eat popcorn with fireworks,” Rayne explains.

“Oh, we don’t?”

“No, silly.” River laughs.

“I don’t have a blanket.” He pouts. “And now I don’t get popcorn.”

“Aunt Brogan has a blanket,” River says helpfully. “She’ll share with you. It’s nice to share, right, Aunt Brogan?”

“That’s right, sweetie,” Brogan replies. “Although, I think Maddox should ask nicely.”

“Mad, you have to ask nicely,” Rayne repeats helpfully.

“Brogan, can I please share your blanket?” Maddox asks.

“Hmm, I don’t know. Was that nice enough?” Brogan goads him.

I know my best friend, and he’s going to go over the top if for no other reason than to make the twins laugh. The little twins, hell, maybe even the older ones.

Maddox dramatically drops to his knees and clasps his hands together, peering up at Brogan. “Brogan, will you please do me the honor of sharing your blanket with you?”

“Maddox!” River and Rayne are in a fit of giggles.

Maddox winks at them and climbs to his feet. “What about now?” he asks Brogan.

“He was so nice, Aunt Brogan,” River defends.

“Fine,” Brogan grumbles, while Maddox high-fives River and Rayne. “Besides, I have a big blanket. Maggie and Lachlan can share with us too.” She smirks at Maddox, and he shakes his head with a smile.

We all lay out our blankets on the lawn and sit back, getting ready for the show. Briar and I have the girls with us. Emerson and Roman are snuggled up with Lilly. Monroe and Legend are together, Maddox is sharing with Brogan, and so are Legend and Maggie.

The twins are lying between Briar and me, and I know this is another one of those moments with them that I’ll always remember. We feel like a family.

We are a family.

The girls ooh and ahh over the show. Lilly does great, bouncing on Roman’s belly. She seems to be scared at first, but when she sees we’re all relaxed, she settles down.

Today has been a great day. Lots of memories, lots of love, and so much more to come.

Everyone has gone home, and the mess from the party is all cleaned up. The girls are nestled in their beds. Brogan and Maggie went to Get Hammered, the local bar in town, with Maddox and Lachlan. That leaves Briar and me.

“What a great day,” Briar says, from her place beside me on the couch.

“It was a great day. Thank you for letting us invade your space.”

She nods. “It was a lot of fun.”

“You and the girls both seemed to be enjoying yourselves. You seem more… relaxed lately.” I’d like to think it’s because she’s secure in what we have, but I’m not sure that’s it. Something has changed over the last couple of weeks.

“I’ve been talking to someone. Brogan has too.”

“Meaning?”

“We’ve been doing these virtual therapy sessions. It’s still early, but I don’t know, something about talking about it, not hiding behind that night. It’s… freeing. ”

“Baby, I’m so fucking proud of you.” Reaching over, I lift her from her place and set her on my lap. “I love to see you taking care of yourself. Brogan too. Am I allowed to tell her that the next time I see her?”

She snuggles into my chest. “Yeah, she’ll be here in the morning when we wake up.”

She can’t see it, but there’s a wide smile on my face. This woman has made leaps and bounds by trusting me with her heart. She’s been through hell, and she’s fighting to come out on the other side and not let her past define her future.

“Thank you. I don’t know that I ever would have taken that step if you hadn’t come into our lives. I never thought I would feel safe with a man. You changed that. You make me want to be better. Not just for you, but for me, and my girls, and my sister. I’ve realized that Brogan has put her life on hold for me and the girls. She was there that night, and she has survivor's guilt, and I don’t want that for her. I want her to be happy and healthy. I want her to find someone… like you. Someone who will hold her in their arms, and just being there, she’ll know everything is going to be okay.”

“She’ll find him,” I say with confidence.

“Yeah, I think she will too,” she says, covering a yawn.

“You ready for bed?”

“Yes.”

“I’ll lock up.”

“Can you leave the light over the stove on for Brogan when she gets home?”

“Absolutely. Need anything?”

“Just you, Forrest.”

“You have me, baby. All of me.” I lean in for a kiss. One that was meant to be a quick peck, but she opens for me, and grips my shirt, pulling me closer. That’s all the encouragement I need to deepen the kiss. I don’t hide my hunger for her, and she gives it back to me tenfold.

Forcing myself to pull away, I rest my forehead against hers. “I’m seconds away from stripping you down, and I don’t want to risk the girls waking up and seeing that.” Standing to my full height, I take a step back.

Briar juts out her bottom lip. “Aw, Forty.” She crosses her arms over her chest.

“Our girls have taught you well, Momma. Off to bed.”

Her eyes widen, but a sweet smile is her reply.

I swat her ass and head to make sure the house is locked up, and to leave the light above the stove on for my future sister-in-law when she gets home later tonight.

In the bedroom, the lights are off, but that’s okay. I know my way around. I strip down to my boxer briefs, and slide into bed. Briar immediately snuggles up next to me.

“Did you mean it?” she finally asks, her voice small.

“I don’t say things I don’t mean, baby. But did I mean what?”

“You said our girls.”

“Are you mine?” I ask her.

“Yes.”

I smile into the darkness. There was no hesitation in her reply.

“They’re your daughters. You’re mine. They’re ours. You have to share with me, Briar. It’s only fair.”

She’s quiet, and I know she’s processing my words. “My therapist says it’s important to talk, to be open and honest. Can you tell me what that looks like for you? When you say they’re ours?”

“Are you ready?” I ask her.

“I—I don’t know.”

I nod. She’s not ready to hear it, but I know she’s getting there. She can take all the time she needs. In the meantime, I need to make her understand without freaking her out. “It means that I can see a future with the four of us. I can see me stepping up for them as their dad when you’re comfortable with that. I promise I won’t step over any boundaries that you give me, but you make me happy. Being a part of your lives, all three of you, is what was missing from mine. You chase away the lonely.”

I love you. I want you and the girls to move in with me, and I want to have more babies with you. That’s what I want to say, but that time will come. When she’s ready, I’ll have said the words so many times in my head that my confession will roll off my tongue with ease.

“They love you.”

My chest expands because I speak Briar, and I know she’s using the girls as a way to express what she’s feeling. Yes, the girls love me. I love them, too, but this whispered confession is more.

So much fucking more.

“I love them too.”

She lifts her head and through the light of the moon shining through the window, I watch as she leans in closer. Her lips find mine, and I let her set the pace. Slow and easy is what she gives me, and it’s what I’ll take.

“This is all new to me, Forrest. You’ve had ten years, and well, what feels like a lifetime's more experience than I have.”

“You’re forgetting one thing.”

“What’s that?” she asks.

I brush her hair back over her shoulder. “This is a first for me. I’ve never cared this much, Briar. I’ve never been this invested. Every touch with you feels like the first time.”

“I don’t know what I’m doing.”

“Baby, there is no right or wrong way. You do what feels good. What turns you on?”

“What turns you on?” she counters.

“You.”

“I’m being serious,” she says, swatting at my chest playfully.

I capture her hand in mine and slowly guide it over my abs until we reach my cock. I’m hard as stone. She gasps. “I’m yours, Briar. There isn’t a single thing you could do wrong when it comes to touching or exploring. You’re safe with me, always.”

“I’d like to try.”

“Good girl,” I husk. Lifting my arms, I lock them behind my head. “I’m all yours.”

“This is embarrassing, Forrest. I’m twenty-three, a mom of two.” Her voice is laced with what sounds like sadness and anger .

“Life has knocked you down, baby, but you’re getting back up. I hate what happened to you. If I could find him, I’d make him pay. I would, but there’s also a part of me that’s excited that I get to be here with you like this. I get to be the man you get all your firsts with. Forget the past. The only part we want to remember are those two beautiful girls sleeping down the hall. The rest of you is mine. It’s ours, and I’m all in.”

I hear her exhale a heavy breath, and then her hand moves to my cock. She palms me through my boxer briefs. I keep my mouth shut. This is her time. I need her to know that she has all the control. I need her to feel safe to explore for the first time in her life.

“Are they all this… big?”

A huff of laughter leaves my chest. “If you’re trying to inflate my ego, baby, it’s working.”

“Did you make it do that?”

“Do what?”

“That twitch, or whatever it was.”

“Your hands are on me. I have no control over my body’s reaction to you. In fact, I should probably warn you that if this continues, and I hope that it does, I might make a mess of both of us.”

“Oh, you mean… get off?”

“That’s exactly what I mean.”

“Let’s do that.” There’s excitement in her voice.

“You want me to get you off?” It’s not where I thought this night was going, but if that’s what my girl wants, that’s what she’s going to get. It’s not like it’s a hardship for me.

“You. I want to get you off.”

My cock thickens, and she gasps. “Told you. It’s you, and I have no control.”

“Tell me what to do.”

“Just touch me. Stroke me.” I’m grappling with my control.

“What about my mouth?”

Fuck me. I pull in a slow, deep breath and exhale just the same. “You want my cock in your mouth, baby? ”

“Yes.”

Fuck. I pray that I can hold off to give her time to practice or explore or whatever in the hell we’re calling this. Honestly, my brain is malfunctioning. I can barely remember how to speak.

Lifting my hips, I work my boxer briefs down over my hips. “The door.”

“What?”

“Lock the door. I do not want the girls to walk in and see this.”

“The door. Right. On it.” She scrambles off the bed and rushes to quietly shut the door and turn the lock. I make a mental note, one that I hope I can remember, to unlock it before we go to sleep in case the girls need us in the middle of the night.

She bounces back to the bed and settles next to me. She wastes no time palming my cock and stroking. She’s being gentle.

“Harder.”

“I don’t want to hurt you.”

“You won’t.”

“Show me.”

This woman, she’s trying to kill me.

Placing my hand over hers, I stroke from root to tip, squeezing, showing her what feels good. After a few strokes, I return my hand to lock behind my head. She strokes me, going slow, then fast, applying a little more pressure, then easing up.

My eyes are closed as I enjoy the feel of her hands on me. However, when I feel her tongue—her hot wet tongue that licks my tip—I let out a low, deep groan.

“Is that a good sound?” she asks.

“Very good.”

“What about if I do this?” She takes me into her mouth, and I see stars. “Is that good?”

“Are you playing with me?” I question her.

“No. I mean, I’ve never done this, but I’ve seen it done.”

“Where?”

“Porn.”

“You watch porn? ”

“I’m a single mom of two with zero experience, as stupid as that sounds. So yeah, I watch porn.”

“What do you like?”

“I don’t really know. It’s not like I sit up in bed with my laptop every night and watch. I’ve just watched it a few times here and there over the years.”

“We’ll come back to this later,” I tell her. My mind is already going crazy with ideas of things we can try, or watch and then try. Fuck me, that’s so hot. “Your mouth is heaven, baby. I like anything you do to me.” That’s all the encouragement she needs as she takes me back into her mouth. This time to the back of her throat. She holds there, then releases me only to repeat the process over and over again.

She’s up on her knees and she’s rubbing her thighs together. “Do you need relief, baby?”

My cock falls out of her mouth with an audible pop. “I’m aching. I don’t know that I’ve ever been this turned on in my life.”

“You want my mouth or my fingers?”

“I thought I had your cock?” she asks, stroking me.

“On your pussy, baby. You want my mouth or my fingers?”

“I want all of it. I want you to be my first.” Her words are shy, a murmur into the darkness, but that doesn’t make them any less potent to my heart.

I know what it took for her to say that. I know what a huge step this is for her, after being violated and not remembering it. I’m glad she doesn’t remember. I think those memories would be even worse for her to battle.

“There’s no rush.”

“I don’t feel rushed, Forrest. I feel free. I feel excited and turned on. I feel safe, and I know that if I freak out, you’ll stop. I know that I want it to be you.”

I love you.

I want to scream the words to her and to anyone who will listen. Instead, I swallow back the words and try to stay focused. “I don’t have any condoms.” This is the last thing I expected tonight. I should be prepared, but I know what she’s been through, and I wasn’t going to rush her.

“We don’t need them.”

“What?”

“I mean, if you don’t want. I’m in the clear. Obviously, I was tested and, well, you know my history.”

“I’m negative too. I was tested at my annual checkup. That was three months before I met you. There’s been no one since even before that. But, baby, this is a big deal. Don’t make this choice because you think it’s what I want. We can wait. There’s no rush,” I say again. I need to know she understands.

“I’m in a rush, Forrest. I want this. I want you. I want to choose this time, and I choose you. I trust you, and I’m on birth control. I wasn’t before because I wasn’t sexually active, but I never wanted to make that mistake again should— So, yeah, I’m on birth control. I want this to be on my terms with a man I choose.”

“Take what you need.”

“What?”

“You’re on top. You are in control. You take as little or as much as you need. You hold all the power here, baby.”

“But I don’t know what to do.”

“You do what feels right. It’s as simple as that. There is no right or wrong answer here.”

“Will you help me?”

“Straddle my hips.”

She does as I ask.

“When you’re ready, rise up on your knees, fist my cock and slide down.”

Briar is an excellent student. She does exactly as I say, and we both hiss out a breath when she guides me inside her.

“Oh,” she moans.

I send up a silent prayer that I can hold off on my release until she gets hers. My hands are fisted, gripping the sheets as she slides lower. This time she doesn’t stop until she’s taken all of me .

“Wow,” she whispers. “What now?”

“Now, you move. Rock back and forth, lift your hips up and down, rise on your knees. Just try it all. See what feels good to you.” She rocks her hips, and her pussy pulses around my cock. She’s so damn tight, and hot, and wet. It’s unlike anything I’ve ever felt before.

“Never been bareback,” I tell her.

“Really? I’m your first?”

“My only.” I let the words hang between us. Her quick intake of breath indicates that she heard me.

“Am I doing okay?” she asks as she starts to find her rhythm.

“You’re perfect.”

“I really want to kiss you right now.”

“Then come here and kiss me.”

She does as I say, leaning in for a kiss. I raise my hips and slowly move inside her while she does.

“That’s… damn.” She lifts back up and quickly drops back down.

I’m barely hanging on, fighting the urge to take over, but this is her show.

“I need… I don’t know what I need. Help me.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

Rising, I wrap my arms around her and flip us over on the mattress. She squeals with laughter, and her pussy squeezes my cock. “You tell me if this is too much, and we stop. Understand?”

“Please don’t stop.”

“Wrap your legs around me and hold on.”

She does as I say. Once she’s holding on, I pull out and push back in. I listen to the sounds she makes. I focus on the way her nails dig into my back. All my senses are on high alert.

“There,” she moans, and thank fuck, because I’m close.

“Touch yourself for me.”

“What? ”

“Your clit, rub it gently, or whatever feels good.”

“This feels good.”

“I know, baby, trust me, I know, but I’m close, and I refuse to come before you do. So I need you to touch yourself for me.”

Without needing further instruction, she slides a hand between us and rubs her clit.

“Oh.”

“There it is,” I say as I feel her pussy start to go crazy. “You’re squeezing me so good,” I tell her.

“It’s—don’t stop. Please. Please. Please,” she chants.

“Not a chance in hell.” I thrust harder. My hips piston in and out of her, and I bite down on my lip, hard, welcoming the pain.

“Forrest!” She calls out my name, and her body convulses around me. Her release washes over her, and her nails dig deep into my skin as she holds on.

I keep thrusting until her body relaxes into the mattress, and then I finally let go, spilling over inside her. Fuck, it’s so different without latex. She’s ruined me. I’ll never want to have something between us ever. I’ve never come so hard in my life, and it’s more than just no condom. It’s the woman.

It’s the fact that she owns every inch of my heart.

Bending, I rest my forehead against her chest, not willing to leave her yet. I already know I’ll miss the warmth of my cock being nestled inside her. I would live inside her if I could.

I hear her sniffle, and my hackles rise. I lift my head and slowly pull out of her. No condom is a hell of a lot messier, but I can’t focus on that right now. “Are you crying?”

“Yes.”

“I’m sorry. Did I hurt you?” My voice cracks as panic sets in. I thought she was with me.

“No. No, of course not. These are happy tears. I never knew it could be like this.”

“It’s not. It’s never been like this for me. It’s us, Briar. It’s who we are together.”

“I like us together. ”

“Me too, baby. Me too.” I kiss her softly, trying to show her that I more than like us together. I love us. I love her. “Let’s get cleaned up.”

We make quick work of cleaning up in the en suite. I slip back into my boxer briefs, and unlock and crack the door open in case the girls need us before sliding into bed and pulling her into my arms. Where she belongs.

I love you.