Beautiful Storm (San Francisco End Game #1)

CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

Luke

A melia cringes but nods as she sits straighter in her chair. “The fire. Okay.” She pulls a face and I internally wince, knowing what’s coming. “I guess first up, I want to know why you ran.”

I rub my hands down my face and curse under my breath. While so much has happened between us since our night together at the hotel, if we don’t talk about this, we’ll never move on. “You’re not going to believe it,” I say honestly, huffing out a laugh.

“Try me?”

“Okay.” I release a slow breath and sit up looking at her when I speak, ready to start from the beginning. “I was the one that suggested the dare,” I admit and then pause when her eyes widen. “The original plan was to lock you in the attic alone, but I thought that would be too easy. In hindsight, you probably would have given up sooner.” Amelia nods without saying a word and it’s worse than when she sasses me. I’d much prefer her snapping back at me than this new calm demeanor. “I didn’t know being up there would make you panic. I—”

“I know what happened; I was there. But you never told me… Was it your idea to lie about the fire?” she cuts me off, her voice devoid of emotion.

“It was.” I swallow a lump in my throat, holding on to one vital piece of information, still unable to say it out loud. “But it was a joke to scare you. I knew you wouldn’t want to back out of the dare, and I was trying to push you as far as I could. At the time, I wanted to embarrass you.”

“And then shit got real and you ran.”

“I wasn’t expecting the place to actually burn. But when it happened, I panicked. I ran to the police, hoping I could distract them long enough for you and David to escape without getting caught. But it didn’t work.”

Amelia bursts out laughing, but I can tell from her expression that this is anything but funny. “You expect me to believe that you left me to protect me?”

“I’ve done a lot of things to protect you. Is it really that crazy of an idea?” I think back on all the things I’ve done and shake my head. “It’s like no matter what I feel, I can’t fucking stop.”

“So is that what this is? The marriage. It’s you not being able to stop?”

My eyes widen before I shake my head and sit forward. Fuck . “No.” I pause. “Not exactly.”

“What does that mean?”

“It means that so much has happened since we were younger and what we’re going through now is much more important. I’m not doing this out of some deep-seated need I have to protect you. I’m doing this because I want to. Because it’s the right thing to do, for you and our baby.”

“Just because you think you’re doing something for the greater good, doesn’t make it right. You know, we barely got out of the fire when you ran. David had to smash a glass door; I couldn’t breathe. I still have breathing issues to this day. I get bronchitis now, because of that fire.”

“ Jesus . I'm sorry. I didn't know any of that. But I promise, my way wasn’t any easier. I had to jump off the roof.”

“So did I,” she finally snaps. “The only way out was the second-story balcony. I was terrified.”

“David helped—”

“I wanted you , Luke. Despite everything we’d been through, I trusted you . I let you kiss me and then you broke that trust again.”

Fuck . My stomach knots as a wave of guilt takes over me. No, not guilt—regret. She was my childhood best friend and I treated her like shit over the years. All because of my stupid ego. Because I couldn’t handle that she basically ghosted me and then took joy in competing over the years. “I fucked up. I know that. I knew that at the time, but I was so angry at you for getting me arrested that I never bothered explaining. But I've always cared. And that kiss was real. It may not have been real for you, but it was real for me.”

Her face drops before she whispers. “It was real for me too. Doesn't mean it was right.”

“No, it doesn’t.”

“This is so messed up, Luke. God, saying it all out loud. You set me up, you made me hate you, and now we’re getting married.”

“That was a different time. And you weren’t exactly innocent. You hated me for years before that.”

“Did you ever stop to question why?”

“Why, what?”

“Why I stopped talking to you when we were kids?”

“Of course I did. Because you never told me. You went away for the summer and came back as a different person.”

“What?”

“You went to visit your cousin over the summer, and when you came back, you barely looked at me, except for that one conversation. And I'd barely started telling you about my summer when you walked away.”

I thought I’d long moved past all of this—we were eleven—but as I think about it, my muscles tense and I remember how much it affected me at the time.

“Wow.” Amelia looks at me like I’m crazy. “That’s not at all how I remember it. But you go first.”

My shoulders sag at her sudden attitude. This was supposed to be about healing. Why do I feel like things are about to get worse? “During that summer, I got mixed up in the wrong crowd. With my new teammate Trent and his brothers. We did some things I’m not proud of, and I got arrested trying to outrun the police.”

I finally tell her the story I tried to tell her back then, and Amelia gasps, though her stiff stance tells me she’s still waiting for something else.

“I was excited to see you when school started back. Hell, I was excited for you to scold me for being such an idiot over the break. But that’s not what happened. At first I was confused, but then when I really paid attention, I noticed subtle differences from when I’d last seen you. Your hair was down and you always wore it up. Your shirt was untucked when you were usually a stickler for the dress code. And the kicker, you had a new attitude and a new friend—Melody—so I figured maybe you didn’t need me anymore. Maybe you’d moved on without bothering to tell me or that I’d missed the memo.”

Amelia stares at me in disbelief before she scoffs. “I’m sorry that happened to you. I’m sorry you got mixed up with Trent and his brother, and I’m happy you made it out the other side unscathed. But after saying all that, after admitting you were a different person, you think I changed? That I was too good for you?”

“Honestly, Amelia. It was a long time ago, but you never told me otherwise, so what was I supposed to think?”

She shakes her head before huffing out an incredulous laugh. “All this time. God . Of course it was me. Couldn’t possibly have been something you did.”

“What did I do?”

“You broke my heart . I trusted you and you broke me.”

I rear back from the genuine shock as my mind reels. “I don’t understand. I don’t know what you think I did but—”

“Do you remember the conversation we had before I walked away?”

“I tried to tell you about my summer and—”

“No. First I asked if you had anything to tell me. If there was anything I should know. About me . Any secrets you wanted to share.”

“Yeah, and I did. I was going to tell you about my arrest.”

“Secrets about me , Luke. You were keeping a bigger secret than that.”

“What?”

“Do you remember the last time we saw each other the night of graduation?”

My chest tightens as I think about that moment, recalling Trent teasing Amelia and me doing nothing to defend her. I know I was a dick, but that can’t have been our issue because… “I apologized for not having your back that day. In the parking lot, remember? You said you understood. That you were okay. That you forgave me.”

“That’s right and I did. I forgave you for that. But I’m not talking about what that asshole said and your reaction. Or lack of reaction. Yes, that hurt, but it was nothing compared to what came next.”

“What came next?” I search my mind for any other interactions we had after that but fuck, I was eleven. I can barely remember details from a conversation that happened last week, let alone twenty years ago. “I was a kid.”

“I never faulted you for what happened at graduation.”

“Then what?”

Amelia sucks her lips into her mouth before laying her head back on the couch and staring at the ceiling. “After you walked away,” she begins, her eyes once again meeting mine. “After you left, I saw my mom and I couldn’t face her. I didn’t want her excuses for my dad’s absence. So I followed you instead, hoping you’d walk me home. I called out but you didn’t hear me.”

“I don’t remember that.” I always walked her home. If I’d known she needed me, I would have waited. Fuck . Did something happen? I rack my brain to remember the events of that night but I can’t… wait, she ran past me crying but her mom was calling out and… I didn’t go after her . Shit . “Amelia, I—”

“I caught up to you that night,” she cuts me off, her gaze now locked on her hands as though she can’t even look at me. “You’d just reached Vicki’s house and you were laughing about something with Trent.” At the mention of Vicki, my face pales, and I realize what I did .

“I was about to call out again when I overheard my name.” Amelia pauses but I don’t need her to continue. Not now that I have that moment at the forefront of my mind. My stomach knots as my heart pounds in my chest. How could I have forgotten that conversation? It ate away at me for months after we stopped being friends, only I never knew that she’d heard me.

Fuck .

I run a hand through my hair as bile rises in my throat. There’s no point pretending. “Do you have any secrets I should know?” she’d asked me, and I had lied.

“I said something along the lines of… ‘I can’t believe Amelia's dad didn’t show. I wish she knew where he disappeared to at night.’” The words sting like a knife in my throat as I speak them again now, cutting me from the inside. “I said that he cared more about Vicki than he did about you,” I rasp, hating every second of this trip down memory lane. “I said that maybe if you knew the truth you wouldn’t put him on that fucking pedestal. And then I said…” I trail off because I don't want to repeat the rest.

“You said?” Amelia pushes me to say it, even though she knows.

“I said I couldn't believe how upset you were, and that it was pathetic.” Amelia briefly closes her eyes as my heart aches. “I didn't mean it, Amelia. At all. I was trying to be cool around Trent, and—”

“You knew,” she cuts me off and I want to scream. All this time it was me.

“God, Amelia, I—”

“You knew, ” she repeats a little louder, cutting me off again. “You all knew my dad was fucking Vicki’s mom… that he was playing happy families and you never told me . And what’s worse is that Vicki ran out of our graduation because she didn’t have a dad to dance with and I felt sorry for her. Her dad was gone. At least mine was still around. But that wasn’t why she was upset, was it? No, she was upset because she wanted my dad to dance with her and that’s why he didn’t come.”

She knew? Amelia knew. And we all acted like we didn’t. Vicki told us all about it. She told everyone but Amelia. And I kept it from her. I lied to her face.

“I thought I was doing the right thing. I thought—”

“Did you know it was another year before anyone bothered to tell me the truth? I held onto that secret and pretended I didn’t know because I couldn’t bear to be the one breaking my mom’s heart. But I soon discovered she knew too. And she kept him around. I didn’t know what to do. Or what would happen to me if they split up. So I kept silent, allowing my heart to shatter while never saying a word.” Amelia pauses again but this time I don’t speak. I can’t. Her broken expression has me in a choke hold.

She bites her bottom lip before shaking her head, as though trying to silence her pain, but it’s written all over her face. And when I think she must be finished speaking, she finally glances up, pinning me with her broken stare…devastating me.

“I was a kid, Luke. They were supposed to protect me. And so were you. You promised .”

Her voice cracks, hitting me deep in my chest.

She’s right. I promised to be there for her. To protect her. But that’s what I thought I was doing.

“I’m sorry, Amelia. I didn’t know you were there. I kept it from you for the same reason you kept it from your mom. I couldn’t be the one to break you.”

Amelia nods before whispering to herself, “And yet, you did it anyway. You just didn’t know it. You were a kid. I know. But even as a kid, your words can leave scars.”

I want to argue… or beg her to let me take it all back, but I can’t, it's too late.

“If I’d known you heard me, I would have come after you and explained. I could have been there for you. I could have helped.”

“I was crying when I ran past you. If you’d have followed me, I would have told you everything. But for the first time ever, you didn’t. And then school started back and you lied.”

Jesus. She’s right. Again. I didn’t follow her because I felt guilty for not sticking up for her, even though she’d accepted my apology. And I felt guilty for talking about her behind her back and for the lies I said. Then at school I was thinking about me , not her.

It was all me. I turned on her. Me.

What do I say to that?

“I’m not making any excuses, but I was not in a great place when school started back, and when you wouldn’t speak to me, I kind of lost my mind. After that, there was no going back. I was done.”

I still remember the day Amelia’s dad left her mom; it was the talk of the school. Vicki went from using it to get sympathy to announcing it to the world like she’d won. Amelia’s dad had chosen her and her family. Now it was Amelia’s turn to feel like the loser.

But in the end, he left Vicki and her mom too.

The disgust I have for that man is almost unrivaled. I may have been pissed off with Amelia, and God knows I threw the hate word around, but when it came to her dad, I discovered what hate really felt like.

And I should have been there for her.

“You didn’t deserve any of that, Amelia, and I’m sorry that my stupid pride and the constant need I have to put myself first got in the way of me seeing that you needed me more. Regardless of whether you overheard what I said or not, regardless of whether or not we were friends, when it all came out, I should have been there for you.”

“I’m sorry I held on to the hurt for so long, but I couldn’t get past the fact that you knew and your harsh words when I thought we were friends. Then when you accepted my anger without calling me on it, I assumed you didn’t care.”

“You should have known me better than that.” I force a smile. “You bruised my ego and there was no one there to snap me out of it. That was your job.” Amelia grins at that and I relax a little. “I’m sure you’ll be happy to know my sister has tried hard to take your place over the years. She’s constantly reminding me that I’m not God’s gift to the world. The two of you will get along nicely.”

“Good.” Amelia laughs. “You always needed someone to knock you down a peg. Though she didn’t get through to you when it comes to women.”

“No, she didn’t.” I chuckle. “She was too innocent when we were younger, and I was too far gone by the time she figured out the type of guy I was. But she’ll be happy that you’re doing a good job on that front. You and Jelly Bean.”

“For now anyway. Once we’re divorced, you can resume your playboy ways.” Her hand falls to her stomach protectively, and I doubt she realizes she’s doing it. As she fakes a smile, a thought hits me. Does she imagine I’m going to be like her dad? That I’m going to treat our child the way her father treated her?

“Amelia, I’m not him, you know?”

“What?” Her brows furrow as she frowns.

“Your dad. I’m not him. Jelly Bean will always be my number one priority. I can promise you that.”

“Oh, I wasn’t thinking that.” She brushes away my concern like it's nothing, but I can tell she has more to add.

“But…”

She scrunches her nose, hesitation clear in her expression, making me internally grimace. “But?” I repeat.

“But…my dad said that too.”

Of course he fucking did . That heartless piece of shit. “Amelia—”

“I don’t think you’re like him, Luke. I never have. You’ve always been up-front about the type of man you are.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

Amelia laughs, but it’s not as light as it was before. “I mean that you’re honest about what you want. Women know you’re not the settle-down type. They know what they’re in for ahead of time. My dad lied, he kept secrets, he was deceiving. There’s a difference. And while you may have kept secrets at times, it’s not the same. You’re nothing like him.”

“Okay. Good. I’m glad we established that.”

“Me too. But with everything between us, do you honestly believe we can do this?”

“The marriage?” I question, a nervous energy filling my chest.

“Any of it.”

“I do. For Bean. Especially now that everything's out in the open. It is, right? That’s all of it?”

Amelia takes a deep breath and stares at the ceiling again as though it holds all the answers. And after the longest beat, she nods. “That’s everything,” she whispers, her voice breathy. “I’m sorry for getting you arrested,” she adds with a smile, making me huff out a laugh. “If I’d have known you were arrested when you were eleven, I may have kept my mouth shut.”

During my time being questioned by the police, I managed to keep myself out of the line of fire while never once mentioning Amelia’s name. I thought I was clever until another officer arrived to let us all know that “Miss Amelia Rosenberg” had admitted she was with me at the time, and that she thought I had something to do with it all. She threw me under the bus while I tried to protect her. But it’s all in the past. And it turns out, I’m the one more at fault here.

“I’m sure we both would have done things differently if we’d had more information. But I’m sorry for everything I’ve done. The list is too long for me to quote each thing individually.”

Amelia’s smile widens, but it still holds an uncertain edge.

“And now we’re here, talking like adults,” I joke because that’s what I do. That’s one of my default settings. That and making irrational decisions to protect the people I care about. “Who the hell are we?”

Amelia giggles but a yawn cuts her off, drawing my attention to the time.

“Jesus. It’s after midnight.”

“That explains why I’m being nice to you. My brain is obviously sleep-deprived.”

“Obviously.” I smirk.

“But I should go.” She stretches her arms over her head before standing up. “What time should I be here tomorrow? Do we need to go over anything else before we dial in? Dial in.” She laughs. “I can’t believe I’m getting married via a webcam. In fact, I still can’t believe it’s possible to get married via a webcam.”

“Anything is possible these days. And it’s the best way to ensure no one finds out. But don’t think of it like a wedding. Remember? You’re taking the necessary steps to protect our child, via webcam.”

“True. So… time?”

“You should stay.” What?

“What?” Amelia voices my thought as I grimace before snapping out of it. It’s not a bad idea. In fact, it’s a good one.

“You should stay. We have to be online at nine a.m., and I don’t want you driving home when you’re tired. For Jelly Bean’s sake.”

“So what? You think I couldn’t stay awake enough to protect my baby? That I’d risk that?”

“No, I wasn’t—” Amelia's smile cuts me off. “Very funny. I’ll show you to the spare room.”

I turn to lead the way, but Amelia grabs my arm to stop me. “Jokes aside, I don’t know if this is a good—”

“You’re staying. Stop whining about it.”

Her jaw drops, but I can tell by the heat in her eyes that she’s impressed by my assertiveness. I told her I’d protect her and Jelly Bean and I meant it.

“Do you prefer hard or soft pillows?” I ask as I walk, not letting her hit me with another smart-ass response.

“Hard, please,” she responds, making me smile.

“Done.”

“And I need an extra one for in between my legs.”

Huh ? I come to a halt as I process that before lifting my shoulders in a shrug. If that’s what she needs, that’s what she’ll get, but I need to learn more about pregnancy. “I’m on it.” I wave my hands, motioning up the stairs. “It’s the first door on the left.”