Beautiful Storm (San Francisco End Game #1)

CHAPTER FORTY-NINE

Amelia

I wake up worse than before my nap, my head aching and my body stiff, but when I find Luke half-naked, sitting on the chair across from my bed, a sleeping Juliet snuggled against his chest, I fight to push through it.

Because my God, is it a sight to behold.

A warmth spreads through my body, at least the parts of my body I can feel, and I smile longingly. If I hadn’t just had a baby with this man, I’d be begging him to impregnate me. This is the type of photo I was telling him would get ratings for the show. Women would die for this. But they’re not getting it. I’m keeping it to myself.

A sinking feeling takes over the warmth as my mind goes to the production, but I ignore it. I need to know what happened after Jake knocked into me, but I’d rather wait until I’m out of the hospital. I don’t want to cause myself anymore stress.

I continue to study Luke and Juliet silently as he scrolls through his phone but when his stomach rumbles and he panics that he woke her, I finally speak.

“She’s good,” I say with a quiet laugh. “But you need some food.”

“Hey.” His gaze shifts to me and he smiles. “You’re awake. How are you feeling?”

“Like death warmed over. The nap made it worse.”

“Shit.” His smile drops and I instantly regret being honest until I remember I promised myself I’d be more open from now on. Luke deserves that. “Should we mention that to your doctor?” he asks, as he scans my face. “They said you needed rest and—”

“I’m okay, Luke. I promise.” I am. A little tiredness is nothing compared to what I could have been feeling. The doctor said I had a minor head trauma that led to my increased blood pressure. During my C-section, I lost blood and my blood pressure dropped suddenly. When I momentarily blacked out, they worried it was caused by the head trauma, but found a combination of the stress, blood loss, and nausea to be the factors.

As good as that news was, my head still pounds, which I’m told may take a little time.

“Okay.” Luke’s a little pouty at my request, but he accepts it and moves his attention back to our latest obsession—Juliet.

“You look good with a baby.” I bite my lip as I let out a soft sigh, wishing I could be over there snuggling with them.

Luke cocks his eyebrow and smirks. “I look good with anything.”

A laugh bursts out of me before I cover my mouth and clutch at my stomach and head, making a note that laughing hurts.

“Shhh,” Luke scolds me. “You’ll wake her.”

Of course. Silly me . “God knows how she could possibly be sleeping on your rock-hard abs.”

Luke’s smirk turns mischievous and I preemptively roll my eyes. Whatever he remarks, I walked right into it. “Why, thank you, Amelia. Yes, I do spend a lot of time working on my body.”

“Shut up.” I laugh again, but softer this time to avoid injury. “You know what I mean.”

“I do. I’m just testing you to make sure your spark’s still there. Just like the doctor ordered.”

“The doctor said we had to keep an eye on random personality changes, Luke, not—”

“That’s what I’m doing. If you hadn’t told me to shut up, I would have been worried.”

I huff out another laugh before stretching my body, the sensation in my legs still not quite back to normal. Not that I need my legs right now. I was lucky. With rest and medication, the swelling on my brain should reduce within a few days, and since I’m also recovering from a C-section, I’ll be in the hospital for monitoring just in case.

God, it was scary for a while. Not that I was all that scared for myself. The only one I was worried about was Juliet. But the midwife assured me she’s as happy and healthy as can be expected. I need to let myself believe it.

Luke’s stomach rumbles again, and he curses under his breath.

“Go and get food,” I snap, jokingly. “You’re keeping me awake.”

He bites back another smirk, but instead of arguing, he stands up and brings Juliet over. “Do you want to hold her or—”

“I do,” I say quickly, desperate for more time with her. I’ve already missed out.

“Thought you might.” His lips pull into a smile before he gently places her in my arms. “I won’t be long, but if you need something please buzz the nurses.”

“I will.” He gives me a pointed look and I add, “I promise.”

“Good. Oh, and while you were asleep, Lainey brought in some of your things. They’re in that bag over there. And… Dammit . Speaking of visitors. I completely forgot that your mom was here. Lainey filled her in on what was going on earlier, but you should call her. Or I could talk to her if she’s still there. Either way, she needs to know you’re okay.”

Guilt eats away at me again. “You’re right. I’ll call her. They said my stuff was in that top drawer. Can you check for me?”

Luke opens the drawer and pulls out my phone before handing it over, but when I try to bring it to life, it’s dead. “Dammit.”

“Want to use mine?”

“I don’t know her number.” I wince. Why would I? It was always on my phone.

“How about I check if she’s still in the waiting room. In the meantime, I’ll ask if any of the nurses have a charger. Do you need anything else before I go? Anything from your bag?”

I glance down at my hospital gown and laugh. “No, thanks. I can‘t use any of it. I’m stuck in this gown until I can walk. But thank you. I’ll be fine until you get back.”

“Okay. I love you both.” He presses a kiss to my head before ever so softly kissing Juliet’s cheek and then he’s gone, leaving me alone with her for the first time.

And I don’t panic like I thought I would. In fact, it’s the opposite. A new confidence takes over me as my heart grows beyond belief, my gaze roaming over her tiny body, still shocked that she’s lying in my arms.

I have a daughter. No, I don’t just have a daughter, I have a family. And while I’d never want to lessen what Preston and I once had, this is more real than anything I’ve ever felt. Like everything I’ve done in my life has led me to this moment. To Luke and Juliet.

To think, I almost pushed him away. Hell, I did push him away. But thankfully, Luke being Luke, he wouldn’t let me. He was always around, showing me that despite our pasts, he was going to be there for me and Juliet, that he was willing to do whatever it takes.

And he was.

He left his team for me. He was prepared to fight Jake. He’s here when he should be playing in his final game before the playoffs. I never asked for any of that. But he did it because he cares.

Guilt swirls through my middle but I try to ignore it. He knows the consequences of missing a game and doesn’t regret it, so neither should I. Plus, I get it. It may have taken me a lot longer than it did for him, but this is it. Luke is my person. And I’d do whatever it takes to protect him too.

A nurse comes in with a phone charger, and my mind drifts back to my mom. Luke’s right, I need to call her. We need to work out how to make our relationship better because I couldn’t imagine not talking to Juliet one day, and while she’s not making it easy by continuously going against what I’ve asked, I could cut her some slack. A little anyway. A tiny bit. I can throw her a bone. If she takes it, great, but if she doesn’t, I tried.

Juliet startles in her sleep and her little hand pulls at a knot in my hair, making me groan as my eyes flash to the bag Lainey packed for me. Maybe I should have asked for a brush. Knowing Luke, he was probably hinting at that. I can’t imagine what I look like right now.

I laugh to myself just as I spot my journal hanging out of the end pocket and I smile. That man knows me better than I know myself. It’s not often I miss a day of writing. If only there was someone to get it for me.

As if I conjured her to appear, a different nurse comes in to check on us, and I ask her to pass me the journal before she leaves.

With Juliet in my left arm, I manage to angle the journal just enough to open it to my last entry, frowning when I find the wrong handwriting. At first I panic, automatically thinking I have an issue with my memory until my gaze locks on the details at the top and bottom of the page. Dear Amelia and Love, Luke.

My heart flutters with a mix of nervousness and giddiness. These journals contain my deepest thoughts and feelings, and while I don’t plan on keeping things from Luke moving forward, I’m not sure I’m ready for him to read all the raw details of the past.

On the flip side, I need to know what he wrote. Even if he read every page, or skim read to the good bits and this is his response, I need to know.

So with my heart lodged in my throat, I read it.

Dear Amelia,

I opened your journal with the grand plan of pouring my heart out onto the page but now that I’m staring down the barrel of the pen, it’s incredibly nerve-racking. And you do this everyday. I guess that highlights your superiority over me, and… WOW! Jesus . These things are like magic. They make you say stuff you’d never admit to out loud.

Please pretend you never read that.

And now to the serious stuff. Here goes.

I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing. I don’t know the first or last thing about being in a relationship, and I’m finally going to admit that I’m scared. This isn’t something I ever wanted for myself and it’s definitely not something I planned for.

But with you, my love is the most natural thing in the world. As though I was made for you. And maybe that’s true.

I can still remember the first day I saw you. You were being chased by your older neighbors and hating every second of it. Even then you knew how to pout to get attention and you sure got mine.

Then two days later, we started at the same kindergarten in the same class. You were nervous, struggling to let go of your dad’s Damien’s arms, and I vowed then that I would always look out for you. But I didn’t openly make that pact until years later. And for a while, I kept that promise.

Until I didn’t.

All I’ve ever wanted was for you to be happy and safe. Even when I thought I hated you, deep down I knew I’d protect you with all that I had. But I fucked up. Over and over again. And this last time, you could have died. Hell, you could have died in the fire all those years ago if it wasn’t for David.

I’ve made so many bad decisions in the name of “protecting” you that maybe you’d be better off without me. Maybe it would be easier on you if I stayed on the sidelines and let you live your life with Juliet and someone else that made you happy, while I protected you both from afar.

Only however noble that might be, I can’t bring myself to do it.

I’m not an insecure guy, in fact some would say that I’m cocky as hell but I’m terrified that I’m not built for this. That I’ve messed up too much to deserve this life.

Despite that, I can’t do this life without you. No, it’s more than that… I don’t want to. And I swear I will fight for you and fight against you if you try to tell me we’re not meant to be.

Because for me, it’s always been you. And for you, deep down, it’s always been me (sorry, Preston, but also not sorry).

In short, I’m probably going to fuck up again. And there will be times when you want to scream at me or throw something. But I can guarantee that I’m going to love you with all of my heart for as long as you’ll have me. No, wait… fuck that, I’m going to love you for as long as I want to, even if you don’t want me back.

You and Juliet are the world I didn’t know I was missing. And I thank the stars, every day that I somehow found you both.

I’m sorry and I love you.

Love, Luke

PS Don’t worry, I didn’t read anything.

P.P.S I know traditionally I’m supposed to write “Dear Diary” but that felt weird. Actually, do you still write “Dear Diary”? You call it a journal now, right?

P.P.PS In case it wasn’t clear… I love you.

Trust Luke to make me laugh as tears stream down my face like a waterfall and my heart breaks for him and all that I’ve put him through. “What did I do?” I never once stopped to think about his reasons for doing things. I knew him. I knew how much he cared for me but I never let myself trust him. “Oh, Luke.”

“I’m here,” he says, stepping into view, his face paling at my tears. “What’s wrong?”

He rushes forward as I hold up my journal before dropping it back on the bed and wiping my face. “You wrote in here?”

Luke scratches his head and the palest of pink coats his cheeks. “Ahh yep. Did you read it?”

“I did.” His nose scrunches, embarrassed, but before I can say anything, he continues on. “That was me finally opening up to someone. To you. I tend to hold things back and suffer in silence, but I made a promise not to do that anymore. I want you to know everything.”

“There was a moment there when I thought it was going to be a breakup note.”

“Yeah, well, if I was a decent man, I might have walked away and let you find someone better. But I’m too selfish for that. I need you too much.”

I force myself to bite back my smile and reach for his hand. “You are the least selfish person I know, Luke. Even now, I bet you made the decision to fight because of me. Because as you said… deep down I knew it was always meant to be you. Sorry, Preston, not sorry.”

Luke laughs as he squeezes my hand and then it’s my turn to pour my heart out.

“I’m sorry. So, so sorry. I should have trusted you all those years ago, or at the very least, I should have confronted you on it. And more than that, I shouldn’t have given you such a hard time when you were trying. I wish I wasn’t like this. I wish I could trust more easily, but I want you to know that of all the people in this world, I trust you the most. And I promise to do all that I can to show you that you mean everything to me. That I was made for you, as you were for me. That it’s always been us. Even when it wasn’t. I love you.”

Luke stares at me, his eyes full of emotion as he lightly grips my chin, lifting my face until I’m looking him in the eyes. He brushes his thumb across my check, collecting my tears as his own eyes water. “We’re going to be okay. This is going to work out, isn’t it?”

I smile as my heart soars. For the first time since I was eleven, I have a home. “Yeah. I think it is. Things may be uncertain, and fast, and chaotic but they’ll be wonderful. How can they not be when we have Juliet?”

“She turned our world upside down and threw us into situations we were not prepared for. Situations I never thought I’d want to be in. But I’ve loved every second of it.” My chest tightens as all of Luke’s love reflects in his expression while he stares down at Juliet, and when his gaze meets mine again, my heart hammers in my chest, threatening to break out. “She’s our beautiful storm,” he adds with an adoring smile. “And I wouldn’t want it any other way.