Beautifully Complicated (Front Range University #4)

12. Aiden

Chapter twelve

Aiden

“ W ant the usual?” Bennet leans next to my ear so I can hear him over the music.

It’s not overly loud, but you either have to raise your voice or lean close to have a conversation in the dimly lit room punctuated with dark wood tables and an equally dark bar. I’d probably like it at a lower volume.

“I’ll get it.”

“Don’t be weird. Look, Damien’s already got the bartender’s attention.” He points to where his boyfriend has found a spot at the bar.

“Yeah, fine.” I nod and try to smile.

Karaoke is the last thing I wanted to do tonight, but Damien got some weird bug up his ass that he wanted to try it, then Jagger jumped on the bandwagon because it would be good material for his socials, and then Bennet mandated that the whole house needed to go.

Well, he mandated that I had to go. Everyone else was willing, and he said he was tired of me hiding out in my room studying and one night of fun wouldn’t tank my GPA or anything. I still declined of course, but Damien guilted me into joining by telling me Bennet misses me, and while that statement doesn’t have the same effect on me it would have before meeting Kier, it did make me feel like shit for avoiding my best friend. So, here I am, the third wheel in public.

At least my roommates are less likely to cuddle here than the living room, so that alone might make the evening more tolerable.

Bennet hands me a glass and rests his hand on Damien’s back as they start to weave their way toward an empty table. I move to follow, but I don’t make it two steps before I spot a very beautiful, very brooding Kier Caldwell storming my way.

What the hell is he doing here?

“A word?” Kier grips my elbow and steers me toward the far corner of the bar, leaving me no choice but to keep pace with him, especially since there’s a break in the karaoke. The house music isn’t nearly as loud, and I’m guessing we’re not about to have a conversation he wants people to overhear, so it’s best to retreat.

“Kier,” I stutter when we come to a stop. “What’s wrong?”

“What’s wrong?” His velvety voice has a raspy edge to it. “I just saw you walk in here with a guy that looks like he could be my younger brother, that’s what’s wrong.”

Try as I might, I can’t make sense of that statement. I came here with six others, although only Bennet’s tried to speak to me since we walked through the door. Could that…?

“Are you talking about Bennet? You know who he is?”

“I may be a genius, but I didn’t have to be to figure that out.” Kier rolls his eyes, something I’ve never seen him do, which has me even more baffled.

“I’m not following.”

“Really?” Kier’s sapphire pools are icy cold despite the heat in the room, and I find myself shivering as much from their cool regard as from the ethereal quality they give him. “You’re not following why I would take issue with the fact that I’m a doppelganger for Bennet? You said your misinterpreted feelings for him were nothing like your feelings for me, but from where I’m standing, I look like a pretty good stand in for the man you thought you loved.”

My eyes get so wide I have to blink to keep the rush of air from making them water.

“You think…? But you two look nothing alike.”

“Really?” Kier crosses his arms in front of his chest. “Tall, black hair, blue eyes. Aside from the thirty pounds of muscle he’s carrying he could be me.”

“I don’t…” I shake my head back and forth, wondering how he could possibly think I’d confuse him with Bennet when they’re night and day. Bennet is striking, but Kier’s beauty is blinding, like the sun.

“Come on, Aiden. We’d pass for each other in a lineup. Tell me again how he has nothing to do with the way you feel about me?”

“He… I…”

“There you are,” Bennet says as he comes to stand next to Kier, shooting him a questionable glance as Kier tries to school his features to a blank expression. “What happened?” he asks me.

“I bumped into Kier.”

“Kier…” Bennet’s eyes narrow slightly, flaring wide as recognition hits. “The guy who wrote that book, right? No wonder you seem familiar. I remember your picture from the book jacket.”

Bennet holds his hand out, and Kier takes it with the smile I’ve come to learn is the one he gives the public. The one that touches his mouth not his eyes. It looks genuine, and to some degree I’m sure it is, but it’s not joyful. Just… polite.

“You read it?” Kier asks.

“God no.” Bennet laughs. “It’s way above my head. He tried to put it in terms I’d understand—” Bennet gives me an up-nod “—but the only thing I got was Luke Skywalker’s arm. That sounds cool as shit even though I don’t get how it all works.”

“Yeah, I get that a lot,” Kier says.

“Too bad you don’t have your book here. I bet he’d autograph it,” Bennet tells me before facing Kier. “What are you doing here? Are you giving a lecture on campus or something.”

There’s my cue to blush.

“Kier works here. I sort of work for him doing research.”

I’ve never seen Bennet’s expression fall so fast. “You’re working for a rockstar science guy and didn’t tell me? That’s like your dream.”

A quick glance at Kier tells me he’s just as interested in my answer as Bennet is, for different reasons.

“You’ve had so much going on with your rehab and classes and Damien…” I trail off, realizing how lame that sounds.

“Is this because I kept him a secret from you? You’re keeping secrets of your own to get back at me.”

“What? No.” I can’t admit the truth without jeopardizing Kier’s reputation or mine, but if I say nothing at all I risk Kier thinking that’s because I still have feelings for Bennet. “I’m not keeping score and I’m not trying to keep Kier a secret, I just—"

How do I fix this?

“The things we’re working on are confidential,” Kier tells Bennet as I gape at him. “Aiden probably didn’t say anything because he didn’t want to say too much.”

“Oh,” Bennet says, clearly flustered. “I’m… Shit, I’m sorry Aiden. I shouldn’t have accused you of that.”

“It’s okay,” I mumble, still reeling from the fact Kier just came to my defense.

“Mind if I finish talking to Aiden real quick?” Kier asks Bennet. “I won’t take long since he’s technically off the clock.”

“Yeah, sure.” Bennet offers a somewhat embarrassed smile. “Nice to meet you.”

When he’s several feet away Kier turns his focus back to me, a crisp line separating his brows. But before he can say anything I blurt, “Why did you do that?”

“Do what?”

“Cover for me with Bennet.”

“I did it as much for me as I did you. He can’t know about what happened between us, but I’m sure as hell curious why you’d keep quiet about working for me. There’s no need to keep that a secret unless you really are still hung up on him and don’t want him to know you’ve been with anyone else.”

“That’s not why I didn’t tell him.”

“Why didn’t you?” Kier’s lips are pressed into a thin line, waiting for my answer.

“Bennet knows me better than anyone on this campus. The more I talk to him, the greater the chance he sees through me. And if he sees through me, he won’t give up until he gets to the bottom of what’s wrong.”

“And what’s wrong?” There’s just enough curiosity in his voice that I can tell he’s questioning whether it’s him or Bennet that has me upset.

“I want what I can’t have.” I hold his wary stare, leaving no doubt what—or who—that is. “And I hide out in my room because reminders of that are all over my house.”

“The people you came in with?” His expression softens some.

“Three happy couples.” I nod.

Kier closes his eyes and sighs heavily. “Thin walls.”

“You remembered.” I chuckle without any humor. “But that’s not the main reason I avoid them. It’s all the other things. Cooking together, watching TV. Random boring shit that they can share with another person. I don’t want that with Bennet, but I do want it.”

Once again, I’m saying far more than intended, but I just can’t seem to keep it bottled in with Kier.

Some of the tension seems to leave his shoulders, though his expression is still guarded. “I hear you, but it’s hard to believe. I mean, we were just standing side-by-side, do you really not see the similarities?”

“I really don’t,” I insist. “I mean, I guess I can see why you’d think I have a physical type, and maybe I do, I don’t know. But you have your personality, and he has his. Those aren’t similar at all, and I think that’s why I don’t think you two look anything alike.”

Kier nods, but he doesn’t volunteer anything, almost as if he doesn’t trust himself with what he might say.

Taking a leap, I guess what his words might be. “You thought I didn’t mean it. That my feelings for him aren’t a fraction of what they are for you.”

He presses his lips together firmly and gives me a quick, curt nod.

“I know you’re afraid to trust me on this, and I get why.” I keep pressing forward. “But honestly, rather than being jealous of Bennet you should be grateful. Without him, I might not be able to say with absolute certainty that what I feel for you is more than the infatuation I felt for him. It’s—"

“Hey, looking way too serious over here,” Professor Daniel Kincaid sidles up to Kier, who once again seems to stiffen slightly. I don’t blame him. Professor Kincaid is nice and all, but I don’t think he grasps the concept of personal space as well as he should. And given his proximity to my man—yeah, I said it—I tense as well.

“That algorithm thing has you both in a fog. Put it away for the night.”

“Hi, Professor,” I mumble, doing my best to look happy to see him.

“Aiden,” he beams. “You should’ve been my TA. I’d never have you talking about work on a Friday night.”

Kier’s jaw is clenched so tight you could almost convince me it’s wired shut.

“Maybe next semester,” I say.

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Kier barks. “If you want to work in prosthetics, you’d be far better off staying put.”

“The boy’s only trying to be polite.” Professor Kincaid winks at me before turning to face Kier. “The department wants to do a group song, so your presence is required. No excuses.”

Jaw still rigid, Kier nods at me. “Aiden. I’ll see you next week.”

“Yes, sir.” I watch as Kier is led away, then make my way to my roommates’ table. Fortunately, it’s just to the side of a pillar that keeps Kier’s table out of view, so even though I’m tempted to look his way, it’s too futile to try.

Oddly, that doesn’t make me anxious or distraught. Not after what just transpired.

Kier still wants me, just as much as I want him. I’ve wanted to believe that for months, but now I know it’s true. And while we may not be able to act on it now, I’m more confident than ever that when the time is right, we will.