Beneath Dark Skies (Rolling Hills Ranch #1)

35. Adrian

THIRTY-FIVE

ADRIAN

“STAY”

Day 426

I feel Farron’s breathing even out as she falls asleep in my arms, and I press another gentle kiss to her head, my heart heavy. My mind is in a flurry, thinking about everything that just happened, emotions teetering from joy to sorrow as I work through everything mentally.

I was completely sincere when I told Farron I was honored she opened up to me today. In the weeks we’ve spent here, Farron has stayed closed off, and I’ve seen her retreat further and further into herself. She holds every emotion close to her chest except her frustration and anger, which she’s quick to express, especially with Kenji.

It doesn’t take a genius to see how she isolates herself physically and emotionally or how much pain she feels. Her eyes are too expressive for her to hide, giving away what’s really going on inside. No matter what sort of front she puts up, it’s clear Farron feels things at a profound level.

My heart aches for her and Holden. I shake my head for a moment, a chuckle escaping me as I think about how I had been assuming Holden was her lover in the beginning until Nora started to talk about how he and Farron were growing up. The bond between twins must be so strong, practically unbreakable, and to have him in a time like this only to have him disappear must be devastating. I haven’t seen my family in more than a year and a half, and I’ve long since played the mental game of wondering if they’re even alive. But Farron’s been with her brother for what seems like the whole time since the outbreak, and I can only imagine how much harder that makes a situation like this.

I think back to my family, my mom and sisters. I think about how I failed them years ago when they needed me and how I failed them again when the outbreak started. I think about how many months the guys and I have spent on the move searching for them, only to come up empty constantly. I think of the vow I made to Kenji before we arrived here, saying that if we didn’t find my family here, I was done searching. It was a declaration borne from exhaustion and despair, a recognition of months of futile efforts and nothing to show.

I don’t even know if I was being honest with Kenji or myself when I said that, but I know it’s the case now.

Being a part of this place has been incredible and eye-opening. The way that everyone interacts and works together as a collective is a beautiful thing, and I feel so grateful to have met Nora and be able to spend so much time with her. But sitting here on this couch with Farron in my arms is the real reason, the real truth. In the weeks that I’ve been here, I’ve fallen harder and harder for this woman. Her strength and resilience, her capacity for love, and that beautiful laugh she lets out when she just can’t help it…

My attention is drawn to her as she starts snoring in little puffs of air, which gets me chuckling. The gift that Farron gave me tonight of her trust, both opening up about her brother and falling asleep in my arms, is one of the greatest gifts I’ve ever received, and it makes my heart skip.

I get up, Farron still in my arms, and make my way over to what I know is her bedroom. The couch isn’t big enough or comfortable enough to really sleep on, and I don’t want her to wake up in pain and discomfort. I’m only just getting Farron settled into bed when she stirs, sitting up to rip her socks and pants off and promptly plopping back down into her bed under the covers. I make sure she’s settled and drop one last kiss on her head before turning to leave.

“Adrian?” Farron’s sleepy voice softly sounds behind me just as I make it to the door. I turn back to look at her, finding her with her eyes still closed but her arm up in the air towards me. “Stay?”

I hesitate for a second, unsure if this is what wide-awake Farron would want. But when she hits me with a soft ‘ please ,’ I know I have no choice. I walk back over to the bed, quickly shed my clothes, and slide in next to Farron. She immediately shifts closer to me, cuddling up against my chest with her nose in my neck. I wrap my arms around her and settle in. Her breathing evens out in no time, and with Farron in my arms, I begin to doze off, feeling happier than I have in a long time.