Beneath Dark Skies (Rolling Hills Ranch #1)

44. Kenji

FORTY-FOUR

KENJI

NOVEMBER POTLUCK

Day 443

The atmosphere is vibrant, alive with the sounds of live music and the laughter of the community gathered for the monthly potluck. It's supposed to be a moment of relaxation and enjoyment, and it is, just not for the three of us. Adrian and Theo are on edge, tense, just as they have been ever since I told them Farron asked for space yesterday morning.

The look on their faces was one of shock, but they seemed to buy it. Theo, ever the empathetic one, told Adrian, “She freaked out and needed space when she kissed me for the first time. You know that. Imagine how much she must be freaking out right now. Let’s just give her some space for a day or so before we crowd her again.” Adrian, reluctant but understanding what Theo was saying, agreed.

So, they were fine yesterday. As fine as they could be with how sappy they’ve become for Farron, following her around like lost puppies. But today, with each passing hour, their composure has been eroded by their growing sense of unease. As we arrived at the potluck and the two of them scanned the gathered crowd, the absence of Farron among the familiar faces seemed to hit them immediately.

Their worry has taken on a new edge, sharper and more pronounced, like a blade slicing through the air. It's a blatant reminder for me of just how deeply they care for Farron, their concern etched in the furrow of their brows and the tension in their shoulders. Each passing moment without her presence only serves to heighten their discomfort, casting a shadow over all of us.

My guilt is gnawing at my conscience and leaving me restless and uncomfortable in my own skin. Despite my initial intentions of protecting my brothers when I confronted Farron yesterday morning, I know I was out of line with my comments to her. I think back to that night a few weeks ago when Jay and I got whiskey drunk with Mr. Hill and Mr. Abel. My mind recounts everything they told me about Farron, about how they view her and what she’s done for Rolling Hills. My snappy comment about her lounging around all day was my first mistake.

The way I brought Holden into it only made everything even worse. Farron's passionate response, defending her brother, only served to underscore just how badly I fucked up. I can’t get her out of my mind. The way her face fell as I continued to berate her, the way I could see each word hit her right where it hurt the most… She didn’t deserve that from me, and I hate myself for what I did and what I said.

Despite their efforts to look normal, casual, the strain on Theo and Adrian's expressions is evident to me. Each interaction with people during the potluck is met with a forced smile from Theo and lively responses from Adrian, but the facade is unmistakable to me. It’s forced, unnatural. I blow out a slow breath, exchanging a subtle nod with Jay across the room. His curious gaze speaks volumes, telling me that even he’s noticed the tension lining the three of us tonight.

Each passing minute seems to stretch into an eternity, a torturous slow-motion movie reel playing before my eyes. Their hands are twitching with pent-up nerves, their eyes fixed unwaveringly on the door, awaiting Farron's arrival. It’s an entrance I’m pretty certain they’re not going to get tonight.

Finally, more than an hour into the evening, Theo turns to me, his eyes filled with a mix of concern and frustration. “Kenji, what did she tell you yesterday when you spoke to her after we left?” The question grabs Adrian’s attention, and both of them focus intently on me, waiting for my response.

My feet shuffle uneasily on the floor, my gaze looking past them as I respond, “She told me she wanted us to stay away.”

Their confusion is evident as they exchange looks, and Adrian’s brow furrows. “But why? Why does she want us to stay away? What exactly did she say, Kenji?”

I knew I couldn’t hide the truth from them forever, but even so, my hands tremble slightly as I begin to explain. “I told her not to mess with you guys or your feelings. And I... I may have insinuated that you were with her because she was the only option before asking her how her lover, Holden, would feel about what she’s doing.” Shame burns up my neck, and I force myself to meet their eyes, despite how uncomfortable I feel and how badly I want to look away.

“What the fuck, K?” Adrian’s voice rises in anger, drawing the attention of Daisy, Eric, and the Clarks, who are closest to us. Theo’s mouth falls open in shock, his expression a mix of disbelief and hurt before he finally seems to snap out of it. They both look at me, incensed like they’re ready to rip my head off.

“Why would you make a comment like that? We’re not just using her because she’s the only option. She’s not a last resort, Kenji.” Theo tells me, anger lining his features.

“Holden’s her brother, you idiot,” Adrian adds. “Fucking everybody knows that. I know a month ago, you thought he was her boyfriend or something, but I thought you would have figured it out by now. Jesus, don’t you talk to Jay? Holden’s his best friend! He’s been gone since before we even showed up here, and all Farron feels is worry and guilt over him.” I’m relieved Adrian switched back to signing, sparing me the further embarrassment of the whole community hearing how badly I messed up.

I nod, feeling the sting of my actions. “I know that now. But I didn’t yesterday, and it’s not like the two of you told me. I was just trying to look out for you two. I didn’t know I was going to get so angry and carried away. She just… She drives me crazy.”

“That’s not an excuse,” Theo signs, his gestures sharp and angry. “You can’t just take out your jealousy and frustration on her. And if you didn’t know, why didn’t you just ask us?”

“We also don’t need you to look out for us,” Adrian adds. “We’re big boys. Pretty sure we can take care of ourselves.”

The tension between us is pronounced, the weight of my actions settling heavily on my shoulders. I swallow hard, trying to keep my voice steady. “I get it. I screwed up. I’ll talk to her, apologize, and make things right. I just... I didn’t think it through.”

Theo’s eyes soften slightly, though the anger is still there. “You better. Because we care about her, Kenji. And we don’t want to lose her because of your stupidity.”

Adrian nods in agreement, his usual easy-going demeanor replaced with a rare seriousness. “Make it right, Kenji. For all our sakes.” He shakes his head, releasing a deep sigh. “This is so fucked up,” he groans out.

The gravity of their words sinks in, and I realize just how much damage I’ve caused. I feel a lump in my throat, the guilt almost overwhelming. I’ve hurt someone who means a lot to them—and, if I’m honest with myself, to myself as well. “I will. I promise,” I say, my voice barely above a whisper, hoping I can find a way to mend the rift I’ve created. “I’ll talk to her first thing tomorrow. I’ll make sure she knows how sorry I am and–”

Before I can finish my sentence, a scream pierces the air, sharp and chilling.