Between Then and Now

CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO

Ryan

I ’ve had Bon’s lips on mine three times now. First was when we were practicing, the second was when I was blowing air into her system to save her life. This time, it’s different. This time, the only reason is that I want to.

She didn’t tell me anything after my big revelation, which is unlike her, and it makes me think that she doesn’t feel the same. Or that my confession wasn’t what she expected. Maybe it wasn’t enough. To be honest, I was about to tell her that I might even be in love with her but doing that takes a different amount of courage. And I didn’t want to scare her off so soon.

When we finally pull away from that long kiss, I say, “Well, that was incredible.”

Bon giggles. She giggles and it’s the most beautiful sound in the world. “Yeah, it was.”

We stay there for a while, the hum of the air and the waves crashing the only sounds we hear. I don’t know what Bon is thinking about, and I won’t force her to talk about it if she doesn’t want to.

“Let’s go,” Bon says.

“Back to the inn?”

“No, I don’t want this night to end. Because when it does, I’ll have to deal with my mind, and it’s not being very nice to me right now,” she says, her gaze softening as she looks at me.

I watch her as she gets her legs off the rails, and stands up. She brushes off her dress and tucks a strand of hair behind her ear. I know she’s having second thoughts about what I did. But I’m not. I’m so sure of what I feel about her. But I can’t help but think it's selfish of me to only think about what I’m feeling. Maybe Bon is going through an emotional turmoil that she can’t process.

I know she likes me back; her words, her eyes and her lips made sure I know. But I also know her well enough to know that Bon is someone who has never been in a relationship where she felt free. And maybe this scares her, or maybe she thinks I’ll be like the others.

I’m contemplating whether to help her confront her feelings or to let her do it at her own pace. I decide on the latter because I know that she needs time. Rushing her would only push her away, and the last thing I want is to make her feel pressured or trapped. She needs to come to terms with her emotions on her own, and I want to be there for her, not force her into anything she's not ready for.

We begin our descent down the lighthouse, the narrow staircase winding its way through the stone tower. I take her hand, leading her carefully down the steps.

Suddenly, an idea sparks in my mind, and I come to an abrupt stop. Bon, caught off guard, bumps into my back. I turn to face her, my heart racing. We're halfway down the staircase, with the world outside far below us.

“What's going on?” she asks, a few inches towering over me since she's a step higher. Her eyes search mine, curiosity mixed with a hint of concern.

I take a deep breath, a smile tugging at my lips. “Can I kiss you again?”

Her laughter fills the empty lighthouse, echoing off the walls. “You’re so unpredictable lately,” she says.

“Maybe I am,” I say. “But ever since we practiced kissing, there’s nothing else I ever thought about.” I take both her hands and put them on my shoulders. “So, can I? ”

“Yes,” she says immediately, her eyes already on my lips. And then we close the gap at the same time. This kiss is less soft and more urgent. Our mouths move in sync, like they’ve been doing this for the longest time. Her hands make their way to my hair and mine are around her waist, steadying us.

Bon pulls away and says, “Please don’t take this the wrong way,” she pulls her arms away from my neck and looks at me. “But a few more seconds of getting lost in that kiss will be the literal death of us.” She points to the long way down the lighthouse tower. I laugh because I realize it too. Kissing on the steps of a tall staircase isn’t exactly ideal.

“Where do you want to go?” I ask, trying to distract myself from pulling her close to me again.

She looks at me, her eyes softening. “Anywhere but back,” she says, her voice barely above a whisper.

So, we go to the town proper. Since it’s late at night, most stores are already closing, but we notice a stall that sells charms is still open, and we decide to approach it. It’s the same people who gave us the woven bracelets during our first day—the ones we’re still wearing now. The elderly couple running the stall greets us with kind smiles, their eyes crinkling at the corners.

They’re also selling handmade charms that can be attached to the woven bracelets, and Bon is beaming at this. Her enthusiasm is infectious, and I find myself smiling just watching her. It's moments like these that make me realize how much I cherish her presence in my life. Her joy, her laughter, her ability to find beauty in the simplest things—it's all so captivating.

“Oh my god, this is so cute,” she says, holding out a little charm replica of the lighthouse. Her eyes sparkle with delight as she examines it closely. The lighthouse charm is intricately detailed, capturing the essence of the real lighthouse we visited earlier.

Most of their designs are native sceneries and delicacies, but they also have more generic ones. Each charm tells a story, and I’m struck by the thought that these little trinkets could serve as reminders of our adventures and the bond we’ve strengthened on this island.

I reach out for the charm that has a rain cloud on it and give it to Bon.

“You should get this,” I say.

“Yes, because rain clouds just scream ‘Bon’,” she rolls her eyes.

I snicker. “Exactly why you should get it. To remind you that you can be a rain cloud if you want to.”

She laughs, and it’s a sound that fills the air with warmth. Her laughter is like music to my ears, a melody that I never want to stop hearing.

As she examines the rain cloud charm, her fingers gently tracing its outline, I can’t help but think about what she said earlier—that she’s often too much and never enough. So many people don’t see that she’s human and she’s not always happy, and that’s okay. It sucks that Bonbon thinks she’s worth any less just because of it.

She looks up at me, her eyes soft and reflective. “You know, you’re right. Maybe I do need a little reminder sometimes.”

I smile, comforted by how she accepted it. I reach out for her hand and she gives it to me. I clasp the charm onto her bracelet and she holds it in front of her. She reaches out for the display and shows me one .

“And you, Miller, should definitely get the sunshine this time,” Bon says, handing me the one of a sun. “To remind you that you should definitely be brighter more often.”

She takes my hand and untangles the woven bracelet from my watch as she clasps the charm into it. I chuckle because I don’t really think I’d be wearing this bracelet once we’re off the island, but now I’m actually contemplating it. “I don’t need a charm to make me smile, Bonbon, it only takes one look at you.”

Bonbon flushes, her cheeks turning a lovely shade of pink. Her reaction makes my heart skip a beat. “Shut up,” she says, but her voice is soft, her playful demeanor hiding her genuine embarrassment. “Since when are you so annoyingly charming?”

I laugh, enjoying this rare moment of seeing her flustered. “I guess you bring it out in me.”

We continue to browse the remaining charms, each one sparking a new memory or inside joke. I pick up a small, intricate charm shaped like a camera, a nod to Bon’s passion, and hand it to her.

Eventually, we realize that the charm stall is the last one open, and the elderly couple is beginning to pack up. We thank them profusely, exchanging warm smiles and nods, before heading back toward the center of town.

Bon nudges me with her shoulder. “So, where to next, sunshine?”

I grin, the charm on my bracelet jingling softly. “Wherever you want to go, Miss Grump.”

She laughs, the sound echoing down the empty street.

We decide it’s time to go back to the inn since it’s after midnight. Bon asks for a few minutes to use her phone, and I take the opportunity to check mine as well. I snap a photo of Bon with her brows furrowed in concentration, a look of focus etched on her face. As I scroll through my gallery, I smile at the collection of photos I've taken of her today. There's one of her climbing the lighthouse, another of her writing in a blank book, a candid shot of her savoring an empanada, and a picture of her browsing the charms stall.

“Sit over here, Ry. Let’s take a photo,” she says, breaking my reverie.She grabs my phone and snaps a selfie of us, making sure to hold out our hands so our bracelets are visible. She takes photo after photo, each one capturing a different mood and angle. Then, on a whim, I kiss her on the cheek, and she captures her surprised expression perfectly before she drops my phone, and I catch it with a grin. Her wide eyes and parted lips are both endearing and amusing.

I chuckle as I look at the photo, the warmth of the moment lingering. “That one’s definitely a keeper,” I say, looking at the photo of her shocked face.

She blushes, her cheeks turning a lovely shade of pink. “Alright, charmer, let’s head back.”

We walk hand in hand back to the motorcycle, the charm bracelets on our wrists jingling softly with each step. The ride back is peaceful, with Bonbon hugging tight and leaning her face on my shoulder.

Once we arrive and we’re back in our room, the silence is so deafeningly loud that I have to cut through it. As I close the door behind me, I say, “Bon,” and she turns around to face me. “I don’t know what you’re thinking about, but I just want you to know that I’m not expecting anything from you. I’ll just be here,” I say.

She shakes her head. “I don’t really want to talk about it.” She takes a step closer to me.

“What do you want to do?” I ask .

“This.” She tiptoes to reach my face, then she plants a soft kiss on my lips.

And then I’m undone.