Blade (Silver Shadows MC #1)

Chapter Eighteen

Beck

Back at home, I hopped off the bike. Blade held on to my hand once more and I stood there for a second, not entirely sure what to do.

“Give me that mouth, babe.”

I didn’t think as I leaned into him and pressed my lips to his and, like the few times before, everything faded. I felt safe, cared for, wanted, and, yes, even loved. Blade had done something no one else could. No one since him .

I shared a bond with him. One I never thought could be challenged when he died. But I couldn’t deny there was something that drew me to Blade. Something that felt stronger than the teenage crush I was holding on to.

How was this possible? How was it the man I thought hated me for an unknown reason was the one to get through my wall of grief? Letting him go was hard, but I needed to talk to Grams before I went to the clubhouse. After saying goodbye to Blade, I rushed into the house.

Walking through the kitchen door, the first thing I did was go in search of Grams.

I found her once again sitting in her favorite chair.

“Hi, Grams, you got a minute?”

Without looking up from her book, she said, “Sure, honey. Where have you been? Rachel dropped off your packages hours ago…” Grams laid her book down and laying eyes on me for the first time since I left for my dinner with Grant.

She gasped. “Beck! What the hell happened to you?”

Grams moved out of her chair so swiftly I was afraid she would fall and break a hip.

I dashed to her side to prevent that from happening.

“I’m ok, Grams, I promise.”

She grabbed my chin to look at the bruise.

“Who did this? Did Grant do this? I’ll kill him. Where is he?” she asked, reaching for her purse.

“Grams, calm down.” I fretted, placing my hands on her arms, halting her progress.

She narrowed her eyes at me. “I will not calm down. That son of a bitch put his hands on my granddaughter. Well, now he will feel my hands on him.” She glared at me. “Is that why you left so early this morning? You didn’t want me to see what he did?”

“Grams, if you would sit still for two seconds, I will tell you what happened.”

I led her over to the couch so we could sit down while I told her about last night.

Telling her the complete story was non-negotiable. She would draw it out of me, anyway. So, saving time, I told her everything. How he ordered for me, how he got angry when my mind wandered. When I got to the part where he attacked me, she was fuming.

I worried her head would explode like it did in the cartoons I used to watch as a child. When I told her how I got away, she smiled. When she asked how I got home, I told her about Blade coming to get me, and that he kissed me.

Hey, in for a penny in for a pound, right?

By the time I finished, her smile was as wide as the Cheshire Cat.

“He wasn’t making any sense, Grams. He made it sound like he was colluding with someone. And what land is he trying to get back? The whole thing was very odd, not to mention terrifying.”

“What did the boys do about it?” she asked.

“Why do you assume they did anything?”

She cocked an eyebrow at me as if to say, really?

Sighing, I confirmed what she was thinking. “He’s in the hospital, in the ICU.”

“He’s still alive?”

“Why do people keep asking that?”

Honestly, I had to once again question whether or not I knew what I was doing by getting involved with the club.

“I need to have a talk with King and find out why he’s still breathing,” she mumbled, getting up and heading for the kitchen, before filling the kettle and setting it on the stove. “Would you like some tea?”

“No, thank you. Actually, I’m headed over to the clubhouse soon. Blade asked me to come to the party tonight.” I leaned against the doorway, debating how much to tell her. “I spent some time with him this afternoon. We went for a ride, and he took me up to Lookout Mountain.”

Grams spun around to look at me.

“Really? You shared that with him?”

“No, actually, he thought he was sharing it with me. He said he found the trail not too long after he moved here.”

“Hmmm.” Grams opened the cupboard with the teacups and her box of various teas. “How did that go?”

I twisted my hands together. Grams had her back to me. She probably thought it would be easier for me if she wasn’t looking at me.

“I told him.”

She rested her hands on the counter for a moment before going back to choosing her tea.

“How did that go?” she asked, still not looking at me.

“It was ok. I didn’t go into detail, just told him how we met, what happened and that my life basically stopped that day.”

I moved to the table and took a seat as Grams brought two cups of tea over and placed one in front of me. She knew me better than my mother ever did. Knowing she wouldn’t ask more, I continued.

Looking down at my tea, I whispered, “He asked me if there was room for him.”

“And what did you tell him?”

I looked up at her, hurt and angry, though I couldn’t say why.

“I told him how broken I was and didn’t know how to live for anyone else.” Standing up, I started pacing, then shouted, throwing my hands in the air, “You know what he said to that? He told me to live for me! How the halibut am I supposed to do that?”

“Did you ask Blade that? Did he have a suggestion?”

Grams was so patient when I started ranting and raving. She never raised her voice to me. It was one of the things I loved most about my Grams. She always let me say what I needed to get it all out without interruption. The woman should be up for a sainthood.

“When I told him I didn’t think I could do that, he said, don’t think, just feel , then he kissed me.” Covering my face with my hands, I groaned. “Grams, how did this happen?”

“How did what happen?” she asked nonchalantly, stirring sugar into her tea.

Exasperated, I said, “How did a man who couldn’t be in the same room with me without growling, find a way through the grief I have been dealing with for ten years, and make me feel something?”

“Sounds like fate to me,” she retorted, taking a sip of her tea.

I stared at her, waiting. Grams was always very spiritual. Though fate always seemed too random for her. So for her to suggest fate meant she didn’t think that at all.

“Or… maybe you are ready for that final stage, acceptance.”

Huh?

I was just talking about the stages of grief with Blade. Assuring him I wasn’t there yet. I also agreed to go to the party with him. And let him kiss me. Three times!

“Beck?” I turned toward Grams. “Maybe listen to Blade and stop thinking. Don’t overanalyze. Just live. See what happens.”

See what happens? Could I do that?

“I guess I could try it,” I relented, shrugging my shoulders.

“That is all anyone is asking.” She continued to drink her tea.

I left mine abandoned on the table to go get ready for the party.

Don’t think, just feel.

Seemed simple enough until I opened my closet to find something to wear.

Thirty minutes later, I was finally ready to go. I went with the safe option: a pair of skinny jeans, a snug T-shirt that hugged my boobs, and knee-high black boots. Should be good for a biker party. Though compared to what the club girls wore, I was still way overdressed.

“Hey, Grams, I’m going to head over to the clubhouse. Is there anything you need before I go?”

“Actually, yes, I need you to enjoy yourself tonight and not be concerned about me.”

“Ok, um, Blade also asked me to go on the club ride with him tomorrow. I was thinking, maybe, I, um, might stay the night at the clubhouse.” I bit the corner of my lower lip, waiting for her response.

She gave me a warm smile and took my hands in hers.

“I think that is a great idea. I will see you tomorrow afternoon.” She kissed my cheek and sent me on my way.

Walking over to the clubhouse, I noticed there were a lot more bikes than usual. Blade said the Mother Chapter was visiting, and I hesitated walking through the gate.

The prospect—I think his name was Archie—observed my dilemma.

“Everything ok, ma’am?”

Ma’am? He looked like he was my age.

“Did you just call me ma’am?”

“Um, no, ma—I mean no.”

I eyed Archie carefully. “Can I ask you a question?”

“Suurre,” he dragged the word out warily.

“Have you met the men from the Mother Chapter that are here tonight?” Archie nodded affirmatively. “What are they like?”

“Um, from what I’ve seen, they’re just like the brothers here.”

“Ok, good. That’s good,” I muttered, looking over at the clubhouse.

“Would you like me to call someone to come meet you outside?”

I turned back to Archie, “Can you call Blade?”

“Blade isn’t back yet. The girls are here. Want me to call one of them?”

“Yes, that would be a good idea.”

Before Archie could pick up the phone, Lily rushed outside.

“Beck!” Lily waved me over.

“Hey, Lil. I’m so glad you came out. I didn’t want to walk in there alone with all the new guys here.”

“Don’t blame you there. The first few times can be intimidating. The Arkansas guys are rougher around the edges than our guys, but they are great.” She looked at my chin. “I’m sorry about what happened. Are you ok?”

“I am. It was scary in the moment, but I’m doing ok. Thank you for asking.”

“If you need anything, let me know.” She drew me into a hug. “Let’s get inside. Rachel and Grace are waiting for us.”

“Did you know I was out here?”

“Yup,” she replied with a wink.

I didn’t ask how she knew.

Stepping into the clubhouse, the first thing I noticed was the noise. The music was pumping, and I could see the drinks were flowing. Taking a deep breath, I followed Lily to the table where Rach and Grace were sitting.

“Beck, you’re here!” Rachel jumped up, pulling me into a hug. “How did things go this afternoon?”

“Good.” I nodded. “We can talk about it later, though. Hi, Grace.” I slid into the seat next to her.

“Hey, Beck. How are you? I heard what happened. If the guys hadn’t taken care of things, us girls would have. Know we will always have your back!”

“Thank you. Hopefully, I am never in that position again.”

“What do you want to drink, Beck?” Rachel asked.

“Um, dry vodka martini with a twist. Absolutely no olives, or olive juice,” I said with a shiver.

“No olives, you got it. I’ll be right back.”

Looking over at Lily and Grace, I noticed they were both wearing cuts similar to Rachel’s.

“Are you guys wearing cuts? I thought you weren’t with any of the guys?”

“We aren’t, but King insists we wear these when the Mother Chapter is here. He doesn’t want any of them mistaking us for club girls,” Grace explained with an eye roll, and Lily laughed. “Mine and Lily’s say Property of the Silver Shadows . The difference is there isn’t a brother’s name on it.”

“I’m sure when Blade gets here, he will get one for you. For now, just stick with us.”

Rachel returned, and the four of us talked and laughed while sipping our drinks. Once they were just about gone, Lily suggested we hop on the dance floor. Dance floor was a loose term. Someone had spread the tables apart to make room for dancing.

We weren’t dancing long when a guy I didn’t recognize walked up behind me, placing his hands on my hips.

I spun around and stepped back.

“Hey, beautiful. I’m Angel.” He reached out for me, and I stepped back again.

“Wrong way, babe. I have a room upstairs.” He pointed over his shoulder at the hallway and grabbed my hand. He pulled me through the crowd, and I looked back at the girls.

“RACHEL!” I yelled, praying she heard me over the loud music. How was this happening again?

“Hey, Angel. Where you goin’, baby?” Jade stepped in front of us, blocking Angel’s path.

“Hey, baby. You’re looking good tonight.” Angel looked over at Jade. His eyes tracked up and down her body while clinging to my hand.

“How about we head up to your room and I can show you how good I am?” Jade ran her fingernail down Angel’s chest, leaning into him.

“Maybe later, babe; this beauty and I are heading up now. I’ll come find you when I’m done.” Angel tried to walk around her, and she slipped in front of him again.

“Angel, baby, she isn’t available. I am. How about I grab Crystal, and you can get a two for one?” Jade ran her hands from Angel’s shoulders down to his wrists, trying unsuccessfully to get him to release me.

“I told you, babe, later. Right now, I’ve got her.” He held my hand up in the air, showing Jade he wasn’t letting me go.

“She told you Beck wasn’t available. I suggest you take Jade up on her offer.” That beautiful growl came through menacingly, and my fear quickly abated.

Angel turned us around, and I looked up to see Blade seething at him.