Blade (Silver Shadows MC #1)

Chapter Twenty-Two

Beck

“Fuck you, Micah!”

I slammed through the door of the diner, desperate to get away from all of them, but mainly him

He was alive.

He couldn’t be alive.

Rachel knew. Ryder knew. Grams knew.

They all knew, and no one said a word to me.

I didn’t know how to feel right now. Angry, shocked, thrilled, embarrassed; I was feeling the gamut of emotions. I couldn’t hold on to any of them long enough to examine why that emotion was front and center before it moved aside, letting in another, often completely opposite, emotion.

“Beck.” Turning around, I found Jack. Oddly enough, I wasn’t mad at Jack. “Sammy’s car is over here.”

Pointing, he guided me toward a white Toyota Camry.

He opened the door for me, and I slid in. Rounding the car, he climbed into the driver’s seat and started the ignition.

“How are you? That was a lot for you to get all at once.”

I stared out the car window.

“I don’t know how to process any of it. He died, Jack.”

Turning to look at him, I cried, “We had a funeral. There’s a headstone in the cemetery with his name on it.”

More tears fell from my eyes. I thought when I left Diamond Creek, eventually I would stop crying over Micah Spade.

Guess I had that wrong.

“Beck, it’s ok to be angry that he lied. It’s also ok to be happy that he’s alive,” he told me, putting his arm on the back of my seat to back out of the spot.

“What the fuck?”

I looked over at Jack and turned to see what he was glaring at in the back seat.

“Why does she have a baby seat?” He looked up at me. “Does Sammy have a baby?”

Shrugging, I answered, “I don’t know. You know her better than I do.”

“Apparently, I don’t fucking know her at all,” he mumbled, finally backing out of the space and leaving the parking lot.

We weren’t far from Grams’ house, less than a ten-minute drive. Certainly not enough time for me to figure out what I was going to say to her when I got home.

How could she have not told me?

Why would she keep that from me?

Jack pulled into the driveway and turned off the car.

I sat and stared at the house. I knew if I sat here too long, I would just get angrier. With more force than I planned, I swung open the car door and climbed out. Jack followed me into the house. For moral support, I guess.

“Grams?” I called out, “Grams, where are you? I have a bone to pick with you, old lady.”

I strolled through the kitchen, expecting to find her in her favorite chair. Only she wasn’t sitting in the chair, she was lying on the floor.

“GRAMS!” I rushed over, kneeling by her side. “Grams, wake up.”

I heard Jack on his phone, but I was too preoccupied to even wonder who he was talking to, much less listen to what he was saying. My only focus was my grandmother, who was lying lifeless on the floor.

Oh God, she couldn’t be.

“Jack, I need your help.” He tossed his phone and hit the floor next to me. Rolling Grams over, he felt for a pulse. He must not have found one because he immediately started CPR.

“Beck, call 9-1-1.”

“What? Jack, what’s wrong with her?” I asked, staring at my grandmother’s frail form.

“BECK! CALL 9-1-1, NOW!”

The snap of Jack’s voice jolted me into action. I reached for my phone. I dialed the emergency number and gave the dispatcher the information she needed. Hanging up, I heard the rumble of several motorcycles.

I sat there numb when men came running into the house.

“Becca!”

Micah.

He was here. My attention focused on the doorway as he ran in and pulled me into his arms.

“I’m here, baby. I’ve got you now.” Those words hit me like a freight train. Suddenly I was caught in a memory, lost to what was going on around me.

Twelve years ago

Standing at my grandfather’s graveside, tears ran down my face. I had never been to a funeral before. Never knew someone who had died before. I watched as Grams walked up and placed a flower on the casket.

“Goodbye, my love. Miss me until you see me again,” Grams whispered as a tear rolled down her cheek.

I watched as my mother, who hadn’t shed a tear, walked up and placed her own flower on the casket. She said nothing. Just walked back to her seat like we did when we had to drop our tests off at the teacher’s desk in school.

It was my turn. I couldn’t move. I was numb standing there in the cold. My eyes closed, and suddenly a hand reached over and took mine.

“Come on, Becca.”

Micah Spade, my best friend, walked me over to the casket. Taking the flower from my hand, he placed it on the casket and said to my grandfather,

“Don’t worry, sir, I’ve got her now. I’ll take care of her for you.”

“Micah.” He held me in his arms while I cried.

I wanted to push him away, but also needed him to catch me when I fell.

“I’m here, baby.”

“She’s gone, Micah.”

“I know, baby, I’m so sorry. I’ve got you now,” he said.

Those four words, I’ve got you now, were like a slap in the face. Because he didn’t have me. He said he would always have me, but he left me.

He lied to me.

He hid from me.

I couldn’t trust him.

“I-I can’t do this.” Pushing away from him, I stood.

Bikers, cops, and paramedics filled the room. The sheriff walked over to me, placing his hand on my arm.

“Miss Washington, I am so sorry for your loss,” he consoled. “The paramedics believe it was a heart attack. They don’t believe she suffered at all.”

I stared at him. There was something about him, in that moment, that had me wrapping my arms around his middle and crying into his chest. He didn’t push me away, he just let me cry. Holding me in his embrace, I heard him talking to Micah and the others.

“Someone needs to stay with her tonight.”

“I will,” Micah volunteered.

“No,” I rasped into the sheriff’s chest.

He pushed me back just enough to see my face. “What’s that, sweetheart?”

“No, Micah isn’t staying.”

“Becca, please,” Micah begged.

“NO!” I yelled and burrowed into the sheriff’s chest again.

“Ok, sweetheart, he won’t stay,” he assured me, pulling me close again.

“Beck.” I heard Rachel call out to me, and while I was mad at her too, I needed my friend right now more than I needed my anger. Rachel pulled me from the sheriff, leading me over to sit on the couch.

“Honey, the girls and I are staying with you tonight. Tomorrow we can work out all the details, ok?” I nodded, letting her know she could stay.

“Becca, I need to know you’re ok.” I glared up at Micah.

“Sheriff O’Rourke, can I have someone arrested for trespassing if I have told them they can’t stay and they refuse to leave?” I asked, never taking my eyes from Micah.

“Come on, Blade, she doesn’t want you here right now. I don’t know what you did to piss her off, but she’s going through enough right now.” The sheriff attempted to lead Micah from the room.

“I’m not fucking leaving her!” he bellowed, yanking his arm out of the sheriff’s grasp.

“King, get your boy under control before I put him in a cell for the night.”

King grabbed Micah by the back of the neck, putting their foreheads together, and whispered to him. Whatever he said must have been enough because Micah looked my way again, and then walked out the door.

“Thank you.”

“Don’t thank me. This is temporary,” King warned and then kneeled before me, placing his hands on my knees. “I won’t make excuses for him, but you need to hear him out at some point. Right now, let’s get through this. We will all miss Willow. She was family. You are family. Family doesn’t walk away when things get hard.”

Standing up, he looked at me once more, then turned and walked outside. Another brother in the club I hadn’t officially met walked up. He sat on the coffee table in front of me and introduced himself.

“Beck, I’m Anthony Gallagher, my road name is Matlock. The club’s lawyer.”

I said nothing, waiting for him to continue.

“I was also your grandmother’s lawyer. She planned everything out. I have a list of people to contact, including your mother. Willow didn’t want you to have to do that.”

Another tear ran down my face, thinking about Grams taking care of me and running interference even in her death.

“The club will take care of everything, and after the funeral, we can go over the will. You, your mother, King, and Blade, are the beneficiaries.”

I guess that answered my question as to whether or not she knew. Now I’ll never get to ask her why she chose not to tell me.

“Thank you, Matlock. When should we have the funeral?”

“Once the coroner releases the body, I will make all the arrangements. He will probably do that tomorrow and things will move pretty quickly after that. The funeral could be as early as Wednesday or Thursday.”

“Let’s do Friday. She always loved the weekend. Friday was her favorite day of the week,” I said, thinking about how Grams would always wake up extra early on Fridays because she said she wanted to start the weekend as soon as possible.

“Ok, once the arrangements are complete, I’ll contact you.” He stood, heading for the door.

“Matlock?”

He paused and looked back, this time waiting for me to continue.

“Could you hold off contacting my mother until Wednesday or Thursday? I don’t need her here too early.”

“Of course,” he replied with a bow of his head, then walked out the door.

I hadn’t noticed everyone had left until it was just Rachel, Lily, Grace, and me. They had slipped in during the chaos.

I was glad they were here.

“I’m so sorry, Beck. Willow was one of a kind. We will all miss her so much,” Grace said, sitting down on the other side of me.

“I can’t believe she’s gone. When she called me to come home and help, I thought she just wanted me to come home. I didn’t think she really needed the help.”

“Let’s order some food and drink to Willow,” Lily suggested.

I laughed. “She would like that. She wouldn’t want us moping around.”

“Beck?” Rachel said hesitantly. “I know Grams’ death is a shock, but it wasn’t your first one today. How are you doing with everything? Can we talk about what happened at the diner?”

Closing my eyes, I let out a deep sigh.

“I know you’re right, Rach, I just don’t know how to process everything that happened. How do you come to terms with the fact that the man you’re falling in love with is really the boy you loved, who died? It sounds like a Lifetime movie waiting to be written.”

I stood from the couch and paced the room.

“How do I reconcile the boy who wanted me around all the time with the man who was constantly growling and snapping at me, trying to get me to leave him alone?”

I stopped pacing and looked at Rachel.

“Oh my God, how did I not see it? That’s the same way he acted when I met him, back when he was a stupid seven-year-old who didn’t want to be my friend. Ugh, that makes me even angrier.”

“Beck, you hadn’t seen him in ten years. He’s changed a lot.”

“You recognized him, Ryder recognized him, even Grams recognized him. How did I miss it?”

I threw my hands in the air, frustrated with myself.

“When Micah came home five years ago, he didn’t look like he does now. He wasn’t that same scrawny boy you knew, but he also wasn’t the big burly guy you know now. He didn’t have a beard or half the muscles and tattoos he has now. If you were here then, you would have recognized him, too.”

“But I wasn’t here. I left because his death devastated me. A death that clearly never happened. Rachel, what happened?”

Grace looked over at Rachel, shaking her head.

“What?” I asked, looking between the two of them.

“I’m sorry, Beck, but you have to talk to Blade. He has to be the one to give you the answers. Rachel can’t. It falls under club business now,” Lily explained.

“To hell with the club. Right now, I just need to get through the next week, Grams’ funeral, and a visit from my mother. Then maybe I’ll talk to him. If I’m feeling generous.”