Bonded Beyond Regret (Mated to the Monster: Season 2)

CHAPTER 6

NYX

When the man who is about to become your official Alpha in the matter of a few days asks you to join him to go…somewhere, you don’t say no. Nope. You follow along like a good little wolf.

As we head away from the training grounds, I grab my tank top and water bottle. I swear Samuel has a look of disappointment on his face when I pull my tank on, barely accomplishing it while juggling the bottle. That couldn’t be right, though, could it?

Being close to him makes me question pretty much everything. I’m not sure how I feel about it at all.

For the last few days, I’ve been attending training and it’s been amazing. I wasn’t sure how it would go. Not only am I in a new pack who does training in their own way, but joining training after not being very diligent about it over the last three years meant it could have gone horribly wrong.

Thankfully, the training at Waning Moon isn’t that different from Silver Howler and my body seemed to easily remember what it needed to do. Sure, I’ve been more winded and sweated more in the last few days than I did when I was at the height of my training game. And yes, my muscles have burned which reminded me that I had put off getting back to training for far too long.

Still, it’s been good, and I’ve soaked at night to help my body recover. The sigh I let out as I sink into the warm water would be embarrassing if there was anyone around to hear it. Aisley is in bed by the time I soak and take a moment to just be which means no one is around to witness the audible evidence of just how much training again is kicking my ass.

Over the last few days I’ve been training and sparring with a few different she-wolves, and it’s been nice to get to know some of the members of the pack I’ll be joining alongside my daughter this weekend.

Again, those contradictions because I’m looking forward to putting the past where it belongs and taking this final step to join Waning Moon. I also feel like I’m betraying my birth pack and Andrew’s birth pack by cutting ties with Silver Howler.

“You’re not cutting ties,” my wolf soothes me. “You will always be connected to Silver Howler and both packs have a solid relationship. You heard how open Samuel was to have our parents come and visit us and our pup. They are allowed to come here anytime, and Alpha Whitaker extended the same option to you. There’s no betrayal.”

“I know you’re right, but does joining Waning Moon mean I’m losing a link to Andrew?” I swallow hard and my voice shakes a little, “That Aisley is losing a link to her father? Isn’t that a bad thing?”

“Our mate was a good man. He was a blessing from the Mother Goddess. I am grateful we had him,” my wolf sighs softly, “and he gave us our pup. But moving forward is a testament to him because we need to heal to be the female our pup needs. He would want us to be happy. Our mate would be proud of you for doing this for us.”

I stumble a little, not expecting this from my wolf. She was so devoted to Andrew, we both were. I know she’s right and I’m glad we’re in Waning Moon, but that doesn’t mean I’m not surprised because I am.

“Nyx,” Samuel’s voice is a caress and has me jerking slightly, not even realizing that he’s gripped my elbow gently. “Sorry,” he murmurs, “I didn’t mean to startle you. I could tell you were having a conversation with your wolf. I didn’t want to interrupt, but I also wanted to prepare you.”

“Prepare me?” I know I’m just parroting Samuel, but I’m still a little dazed.

It feels like my brain is moving at half speed right now. The ache in my chest flares, but it doesn’t make me want to find a cave somewhere and disappear like it normally does. Huh; I guess that is progress.

Healing?

Maybe.

When I look up into Samuel’s blue eyes, they’re full of concern. I’m damn glad that I don’t see pity there though. I’ve been given more than enough pity in this lifetime. It’s useless and only makes me feel like I should be stronger, better, and more put together.

Concern, though? I can handle concern.

“Right,” I clear my throat, “prepare me. Where are we going? You need my help with something, or did you want to talk about something?” I glance back at the training grounds and gnaw on my bottom lip. “Is it about Samantha? I wasn’t trying to overstep, I was just trying to help,” my words take on a hint of panic at the end.

I hope I didn’t offend anyone, especially Gamma Connor. He’s a great trainer and Gamma. I’ve enjoyed learning from him and training under him. Still, there are only so many of him and if I can help my sparring partner improve, I didn’t see a reason why not to.

Other than, of course, someone’s ego standing in the way.

I didn’t get the impression the Gamma was like that, but I could be wrong.

“Nyx,” Samuel stops my ranting, both internal and external, “you were doing an amazing job helping Samantha. I could see your tips and pointers, along with your praise, was already making her more proficient.”

Damn it, Samuel’s praise has me wanting to ruffle my fur and prance around with my tail standing straight up.

When was the last time I was given this kind of praise? I’m not even sure anymore.

I don’t allow myself to dwell on his nice words for too long, not when I’m too curious about what the hell we’re doing if he’s not taking me somewhere, like his office, to tell me that I need to know my place in the pack and it isn’t to lead training.

The confusion must show on my face because Samuel gives me a soft grin before he becomes serious. “While I was watching you spar, I got a mind link from the front gate,” he explains, but it does nothing to explain what he needed me for. “Mike is on the gate today, the same as when you arrived here in Waning Moon.”

My tone is filled with confusion, “Is there someone at the gate to see me? I’m not aware of anyone planning to visit.”

He shakes his head slowly, “No, nothing like that, though I’m sure you are missed at Silver Holwer.” He takes a deep breath like he’s centering himself as the packhouse comes into view. The walk to the front gate from the packhouse isn’t long. “Apparently there is a she-wolf at the gate who is seeking sanctuary.”

I can’t help it; I stiffen in surprise. Not that someone is here with the hope of making this pack a home. It might have been arranged for me, but wasn’t I doing the same not long ago?

I hold out the one-word question, still clueless, “Okay?”

“Mike believes that the she-wolf is suffering after experiencing the death of her mate,” Samuel drops a bomb on me.

I jerk to a stop, my eyes wide and, I’m sure, a little wild. My voice comes out higher than I would like, “What does that have to do with me?”

Samuel sighs, but the sound isn’t exasperated, more tired. “I thought that you could come and help me welcome her into the pack. Not only do you understand the loss she’s experiencing, no matter the circumstances around it, but you’re also a female. I find that she-wolves who come here on their own can be wary of me, especially when I don’t know the details around why they’ve lost a mate. When there has been some kind of abuse, it’s even worse.”

I take a deep breath and let it out slowly. Help. He needs my help.

It’s kind of a shock to have the Alpha of the pack, the male at the top of the food chain, come to me for help and to accompany him on pack business.

“That makes sense,” I whisper, my tone wooden and more than a little unsure. “I’m honored to help. If the death was sudden, it can really mess someone up.” I wring my hands together, worried for whoever is here at Waning Moon and seeking help and somewhere to call home.

If I hadn’t had Aisley and the support of my parents, and even Alpha Whitaker, would I have left Silver Howler in search of something? Anything really?

I’m not sure, but knowing that this pack exists, that it’s a place for people who are searching for and desperately in need of a fresh start warms my heart. I glance at Samuel out of the corner of my eye as we keep moving toward the gate.

He’s done this.

He saw a need, one partially born out of his own situation, and decided to do something about it. Not everyone can be that selfless and that mindful of others.

“And our male did it while he was dealing with his own grief. He still wrestles with the regret of what was lost, but not his actions,” my very sage and, suddenly, very talkative wolf points out.

I don’t acknowledge her calling him our male. I can’t. Not now. I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to even consider it let alone act on it.

But something she says sticks with me. What does she mean that he regrets what was lost, but not his actions. I might have heard rumors of how Samuel became the Alpha here, but rumors can be twisted. How much truth did what I heard hold by the time it reached my ears? It’s not like I spent a lot of time a year ago seeking out gossip from other packs; I was too busy keeping my head above water.

It’s amazing how freeing it is to feel like you can take a full breath again. Finally.

When we reach the gate, a warrior is standing there, but his shoulders are rolled over and he’s made himself as small as possible like he’s trying not to be intimidating. It would be comical if it weren’t for the she-wolf standing next to him and looking around with fear and pain filled eyes. She’s thin, too fucking thin, and she looks like she’s ready to bolt at any moment.

The relief on the man’s face, who must be Mike, is clear to see. With a nod, he takes a few steps away from the she-wolf. Panic takes over her features and something inside of me forces me to close most of the distance between us.

I’m aware that I’m breaking all sorts of protocol, but this female needs help. Everything else, all the things I should probably do when it comes to hierarchy, fly out the window.

“Hello,” I offer the female, my voice soft just like when Aisley is scared or not feeling well, “my name is Nyx. What’s your name?”

The female glances over my shoulder, but I don’t move my gaze away from her. When her eyes meet mine, something like hope sparks in the depth of her. I can see it and I desperately want her to latch onto it and never let go.

Aisley was my hope.

What happens to all the wolves who don’t have the kind of anchor I did?

“Marlene,” her voice is wobbly as if it’s on the edge of teetering right over into nothingness.

I won’t let that happen.

“Marlene,” I breathe, “it’s nice to meet you.” I motion with my hand behind me. “I was at training when Alpha Samuel was alerted of your arrival, and he asked me to join him to greet you. Would you mind telling us what brought you here to Waning Moon,” I prod her gently, not really asking for the information, but not demanding it either.

Marlene pales slightly, her shoulders slumping even more. I swear a swift wind would knock the poor woman over and I don’t think she’d mind one bit.

“My,” she licks her lips as tears fill her eyes and she tries again, “my mate was killed. He was taken to the cells by the Alpha of my former pack and charged with treason and betraying the pack.”

My eyes widen and Samuel steps up to my back and he puts a hand on my shoulder. To stop me? To support me? I don’t even know. Part of me is afraid that he’s already heard enough.

It’s clear that Marlene has the same thought because her words start coming out so quickly that it’s almost hard to understand her. “But he didn’t do anything wrong. He was framed. The Alpha’s daughter always wanted him because he was the strongest warrior, and the Alpha got in her head that he could be molded into a puppet Alpha to do her bidding. When we found out we were fated, we started making plans to get out of the pack and to find somewhere we could be free, but we weren’t fast enough. We tried,” tears start streaming down her face and I feel my own threaten, “to hide our mating, but she knew. I don’t know how, but she did. She beat me and by the time I woke up, my mate was in the cells being tortured. I felt,” she takes a shuddering breath, “everything. He told me how much he loved me in our link and that he was sorry we wouldn’t see the splendor the Goddess granted us in our bond. I didn’t understand at first, but then the bond,” she breaks down into sobs, “th-the bo-bond broke.”

As Marlene starts to fall to the ground, I’m there, wrapping her in my arms and going down with her. I cradle her against me. I’m not even aware of what I’m saying beyond whispered words of hope for a brighter tomorrow and that the pain does get better, even if it never disappears. I think I tell her that I felt my own mate bond snap, but I’m hardly aware of it. For the first time since losing Andrew, the ache in my chest has nothing to do with his death.

It's all for her, for this female who endured so much and is barely hanging on to this world because of it.

“I’m pregnant,” she whispers against my shoulder. “My wolf told me right before the torture began. She couldn’t stop me from feeling everything because she had to protect our pup, especially after the beating we endured.”

I stiffen with her words and look to see the utter desolation on the faces of the two males who have heard Marlene’s story. But that’s not the only thing written on their faces. There is also pure fucking rage.

Even though I’ll be glad when whoever this Alpha is gets what is coming to him, part of me pities him. He will be in for a rude awakening if he believes he has gotten away with this. My only hope is that I’m there to see justice served.

“Alpha,” is called softly from right behind Samuel before a man wearing scrubs and a white coat comes to stand next to him. By the look on his face, it’s clear Samuel has filled him in on Marlene’s story. He crouches down next to where I’m still holding an inconsolable female. “Marlene,” his voice is a coo, “if it would be alright with you, I’d really like to take you to the pack hospital and get you and your pup checked out. You’ve been through a horrible ordeal, and we want to help you get healthy so you can become the fierce mama wolf you are destined to be.”

Marlene looks at me, as if asking if she’s safe, if she’s home. I nod as a smile grows on my face slowly. “You can trust the wolves here, Marlene. I promise. My mate died three years ago, and I was lost until I came here not long ago. I haven’t been here long, but I can tell you that even in that short amount of time I’ve found peace that not even my daughter could bring me. Trust that we will help you.”

“Thank you,” she sighs before allowing the doctor to help her up and start to lead her away. When she’s standing next to Samuel, she bares her neck in respect. “Thank you, Alpha. You have no idea the bright light this pack has become to those who have known darkness for far too long. Thank you.”

I stand up, almost unable to process what just happened. Thank you. When she sighed those words, it struck something in me. It changed something in me as they resonated. Two words, which can be thrown around by anyone for any number of reasons. But it was how she said it that mattered. They held so much relief that I felt it flow through me and take a little bit more of my own pain in payment.

I watch Marlene as she moves away from us. I don’t even realize that the tears I was fighting are traipsing down my cheeks until Samuel wraps his arms around me and pulls me against my chest. Crying while wrapped up in this Alpha’s arms is the last thing I should be doing, but I can’t seem to stop.

Nor do I stop him when he leads me away from the gates and back toward my home. Home. It’s amazing how quickly this place, and the house I share with Aisley, has become exactly that. I do have some questions, though.

Like why did Samuel really ask me to join him at the gate? How do I know the pain I see in his eyes is similar to the pain I feel? What happened—not the rumors but the truth—to his mate?

I hope he’s ready to answer at least some of them.