Bonded Beyond Regret (Mated to the Monster: Season 2)

CHAPTER 5

SAMUEL

I should be concentrating right now, but a certain black haired she-wolf is making that almost impossible. It doesn’t help that she’s wearing leggings and a sports bra that looks like it has been painted on her body. How the hell can anyone concentrate under these conditions?

The only thing I’ve wanted for the last few days since the conversation I had with Nyx in the packhouse about her contributing to the pack is to talk to her again. Each day has been exercise in control. And, fuck, my control is slipping.

I haven’t had the chance to talk to her again, but that’ll change today. There’s no other way this can go. I need to talk to her.

“Yeah, so in control,” my wolf mocks me.

“Like you’re not using my eyes to watch her,” I fire right back at him.

“I never said I wasn’t. I totally am.” If a wolf can grin, he’s definitely flashing me one before his tongue lolls out of his mouth. I think the primal asshole even drools a little bit.

I’m not sure what has been going on with him since Nyx arrived in the pack. He’s far more attentive to her than he has been to any other she-wolf. Surprisingly enough, I think that’s true even when thinking about his reaction to Kathy. I have zero fucking clue what it all means.

“Means I like that female,” he groans. “She’s strong, smart, and stunning,” he hisses, “and I want her.”

What the fuck?

I try and shake off my wolf’s words, but it’s not easy to do. It’s not like I can’t see what he does. I do.

Even though she-wolves have offered to warm my bed and help me get my mind off all the stress of being an Alpha, I never took them up on it. My wolf was not impressed with their advances and warned me not to get involved with them.

We are only ever granted one mate by the Moon Goddess, so I figured he was just pining for the mate we had and lost, even though she wasn’t a good person. But now that he’s interested in Nyx, I’m not sure what to make of it all.

“She’d make an amazing Luna,” he muses softly like he’s trying to coax me into agreeing with him.

What’s not to agree with? I have no doubt she’d be a Luna that people would look up to and admire.

“We don’t deserve a mate,” I remind my wolf.

“Speak for yourself,” he snarls. “Wonder what her she-wolf looks like,” he’s on the edge of sounding fucking dreamy and it’s setting my teeth on edge.

“What about Aisley?” I point out, “She is Nyx’s number one priority, which is how it should be.”

I know I’m just grasping at straws here, but I don’t want my wolf to get his hopes up. Not only do we not deserve a mate, but Nyx may never get over the pain of losing her Goddess-given mate. They had a real mate bond with real love.

“What are you trying to do asking about the pup? Pup is beautiful, like her mother. Pup could be ours,” he pouts.

I’m fucking stunned which is why Dalton is able to land a punch to my jaw. When I meet his gaze, his eyebrows are so high on his head that they’re almost flying free. I don’t blame him, if I were paying attention there’s no way he would have landed that hit.

I’ve worked really fucking hard to be more than just the Alpha of this pack by name, but to be at the top when it comes to defending our pack against whatever comes our way. It’s not like I was a slouch when it came to training when I was the pack’s Beta or anything, but now the stakes are even higher.

Nyx is just too damn distracting.

“You’re not the only one distracted,” my wolf chuffs, clearly amused.

My gaze roams over the other wolves training and more than one unmated male are checking Nyx out. I’m barely able to swallow down the growl that’s threatening to come out. I should not attack my pack because they’re looking at a beautiful she-wolf.

Possessiveness rears up inside of me and takes my breath away. It’s not an entirely new feeling, but the ferocity of it almost takes me out.

My vision goes red and the next thing I know, I’m landing a punch and kick combination on Dalton that takes him by surprise and is far too much for the lighter training we’ve been doing.

“Fuck,” I mutter and step closer to him. “Sorry, man. I don’t know what came over me.”

Dalton’s gaze shifts to something over my shoulder and the corners of mouth twitches like he’s trying to hide a smile. He shakes his head before shrugging. There’s not even a hint of anger in his voice when he reassures me, “No worries. I have a feeling I know what has you distracted.” When I arch an eyebrow in question he nods towards where I know Nyx is sparring with a female warrior. Yeah, I don’t have to look to know and that kind of pisses me off. “You’ve been distracted since Nyx started coming to training,” he points out gently.

As I shake my head, my voice is filled with warning, “I don’t know what you’re talking about, Beta.”

Dalton holds his hands up, but the small smirk on his face tells a story. I already have my wolf trying to make me consider things that I shouldn’t. I don’t need anyone else playing matchmaker.

“Let’s take a stroll around and see how everyone is doing,” I suggest even though it’s far from a suggestion.

Dalton gives me a chin lift and heads in the opposite direction of Nyx, but he’s not fast enough to hide the grin on his face completely. I’m sure he can feel the way I’m glaring at the back of his head. He’s smart not to turn around.

My Gamma, Connor, is more than capable of running the training, but since I can’t concentrate, I might as well see how everyone is doing. I like to train next to my pack members. I might be above them in rank, but I’m not above putting in the work and working just as hard as them, if not harder.

If they follow my example, I want it to be a good one.

That’s something this pack lacked for so fucking long. The people at the very top were corrupt and only focused on power and status. It left a huge disparity between the top and the bottom. It allowed for an environment where no one could speak up when Serenity was being abused. Hell, it allowed some people to join in who never should have even considered it a possibility.

The pack is supposed to be a family.

We’re getting closer to that every day.

I turn on my heel and head closer to where Nyx is training with Samantha. It’s clear that Nyx is going easy on the she-wolf. As much as I admire it, that’s not going to help Nyx.

Even though Nyx is moving slower than she’s capable and pulling her punches, I can see the extent of her skill in every movement. Her body moves like a fucking dancer and it’s hypnotizing.

When Samantha drops her guard, Nyx immediately stops and shakes her head. “You just left your right side open, Samantha,” she’s gentle with her correction.

She grabs both of Samantha’s fists and pulls her arms up and back into the right fighting stance. When she kicks the inside of her foot, it’s clear she wants Samantha to widen her stance slightly. Samantha is, clearly, taken by surprise.

The younger she-wolf stumbles a little bit, and her face flushes with embarrassment.

There are some pack members who would not take kindly to being corrected by anyone who isn’t part of the leadership of the pack or one of the top ranked warriors. Samantha takes it in stride and immediately rights herself and follows Nyx’s directive.

“Good,” Nyx praises before stepping back and easily falling into her own fighting stance. “Again. You got this.”

I can’t help but smile.

“Female acts like a Luna without even trying,” my wolf sighs before rolling over in my mind like he’s presenting his belly for the female we can’t look away from to rub his belly.

I ignore my wolf because there’s really no other option.

Yes, I’m attracted to Nyx. Yes, Aisley stole a piece of my heart with just one smile.

That doesn’t mean I can ever act on the attraction and possessiveness I’m feeling. Both females deserve more than a broken Alpha who had to kill his mate in the name of avenging his sister even though it was years too late.

Samantha and Nyx start sparring again, and I can immediately see an improvement in Samantha. After a few minutes, Nyx lands a punch that has the younger she-wolf stumbling back. Still, both have big smiles on their faces.

It’s damn good to see Samantha smiling like she is right now.

She’s gained so much confidence because of training.

“It’s more than the training,” my wolf assures me. “She feels the love and acceptance of the pack. It is helping the female and her she-wolf heal.” He sighs, “She’s pretty, she should have never been rejected and thrown away. The Goddess doesn’t make mistakes.”

I make a humming sound in my mind, unsure of what to say to my wolf. I’m glad that the pack and the work I’ve been doing to build a pack for wolves just like Samantha, but it’s not easy to know that the Goddess doesn’t make mistakes when it comes to mates.

Bitterness threatens to choke me because of the mate I was granted, but I try to push past it. Was Kathy really the other half of our soul? What does that say about me?

I’m not sure it’s good.

“Sometimes a mate is supposed to provide balance and to help the wolf become better. They may not be a perfect match when first mated, but the potential is there to become it. That is when the Goddess shines the most.”

I snarl, “So, does that mean Kathy was some kind of test? I’m not sure I passed.”

“We’re still here,” my wolf points out as he pants and watches Nyx’s next round with Samantha.

My eyes are trained on the pair, but I’m not paying attention even though I know I should be.

“The Goddess could have called us home when the mate bond was severed. She didn’t because she knew we still had a purpose. With that comes the hope for finding a she-wolf we can give our all to, one who can make us better, and who we love and protect with everything in us.”

Before I can continue to argue with my wolf, even though his words ring true in some deep part of me I don’t want to recognize, I get a mind link from Mike who is at the gates to the pack again for duty.

“Alpha,” Mike’s voice holds an edge of worry that has me standing up a little taller.

Nyx must notice the change in me because she glances in my direction with a furrowed brow and concern in her gorgeous gold flecked eyed. My wolf purrs in approval, loving having the female’s attention on us.

“What’s wrong, Mike?”

“There is a she-wolf here who is requesting to speak to you. I think she’s here to request sanctuary.” He sighs and adds, “She’s not looking very good. I don’t see any obvious injuries. If I had to guess, I think her mate has died.”

Fuck.

I know Mike is familiar with the signs. I’ve ensured that every warrior is properly trained and that is especially important for those who run border patrols and work the front gate. I would hate for someone to be turned away because the pain they’re experiencing doesn’t allow them to communicate easily and effectively.

“Thank you for letting me know. I’ll contact the hospital to let them know, in case she needs to be treated.” My eyes find Nyx, who is no longer sparing and watching me intently. There’s something magical about having her eyes on me. Just because I can’t accept it, and it makes me a little uncomfortable, doesn’t mean I can’t recognize how good it feels. I assure Mike, “I’ll be there in a few moments.”

“Yes, Alpha,” he links before I cut the connection between us.

When I step closer to Nyx, she tilts her head as her eyes search my face. “As much as I’m enjoying watching you spar and help Samantha improve,” my voice is pitched low, “can you please come with me? A she-wolf is at the gate and is looking for sanctuary.”

Nyx swallows hard, a look of worry crossing her face before she squares her shoulders and nods. “Of course, Alpha,” when I growl, she corrects herself, “Samuel.”

I’m not sure why I want to take her with me to see about the female seeking help and refuge, but it’s an instinct I can’t ignore. I’m hoping that because Nyx is female and experienced the death of her mate, it’ll make this whole thing easier for whoever is here for help.

Or maybe I just want to be near the black-haired female who intrigues me more than I’m willing to admit.