Bonded Beyond Regret (Mated to the Monster: Season 2)

CHAPTER 12

NYX

As we walk up the walkway of Darwin and Stacy’s home, I’m so nervous that I could throw up. Sure, they welcomed me with open arms, but that was before Samuel, and I started seeing each other. I take a few deep breaths to get my shit under control and to stop me from running away screaming.

It’s a real possibility at this point, but I know Aisley would be so disappointed if I did that. She’s been looking forward to this dinner for days.

And what a week it’s been.

Something changed a week ago, something big. I already knew Samuel was interested in me, he didn’t try to hide it at all, but when I couldn’t find Aisley a week ago only to find out she had gone to his office to see him, I saw a different side of him. He was so damn sweet with her and had no issue meeting her at her level of understanding while holding her to a higher standard. If that’s not the definition of parenting then I don’t know what is.

A year ago, if a male had tried to step in and parent my daughter, I would have freaked out. Or maybe I would still freak out if it were anyone other than Samuel. I’m not sure.

Samuel treats Aisley like she’s his and the bond between them is clear to see. Watching their bond deepen as they interact is a pleasure. It doesn’t make me want to run and I don’t feel guilt about it.

Sure, I still feel the pain of losing Andrew, but even that pain has become a throb instead of a sharp feeling that has me looking at my chest to make sure I’m not bleeding out. A throb I can deal with even if it never fully goes away.

Over the last week, I’ve been spending a lot of time with Samuel. Really, any time when we aren’t needed elsewhere, we’re together. Even sometimes when we are needed elsewhere, we’re together.

Like when Marlene was finally discharged from the pack hospital and moved into the packhouse. I helped with making sure her room was ready for her and then we went to the hospital together to help her get settled in her new space.

Samuel could have done it on his own or with Dalton, but the fact that he trusted me to stand by his side and help made me fall a little bit more in love with him. I know how much the pack means to him and to be trusted to help with it means something.

And, yes, I’ve fallen in love with him.

I’m not sure when it happened. I might have been attracted to him right away, but without the fated mate bond between us, the feelings were more gradual. The moments we’ve shared together, the way he loves Aisley, the conversations we’ve had, and the way we’ve started sharing our lives had my feelings growing from attraction to affection, and to love.

I’m pretty sure he feels the same way about me, but we haven’t said the words out loud. I know once we do, things will change again. I’m looking forward to it, but there’s something to enjoying where we are right now.

When Samuel extended an invitation for dinner with his parents, at their house, a few days ago, I said yes, but that doesn’t mean I wasn’t freaking out inside.

Because I was.

Hell, I still am. This makes what is happening between us even more real.

Samuel wrapping his arm around me and tucking me into his side, has me melting into him. “It’s going to be okay, little warrior,” he murmurs. “They already love you and Aisley.”

“This is just so official,” I whisper hiss at him.

He chuckles but lets out a choked sound when I elbow him in his side. He kisses the side of my head, and I try to hide my smile.

“Saw that,” he teases me.

“He is such a good male,” my wolf gushes. “Can you feel how happy he is? We make him happy, and he loves our pup like she deserves to be loved.”

We sigh together, contentment flowing through us and being amplified by the same feeling rolling off Samuel. And then there is the happiness of my pup. She’s practically glowing. The way she’s blossomed under the shade of Samuel’s attention and affection is everything I could hope for and more than I ever expected.

Aisley bounds up the porch steps and looks back at us expectantly. She’s practically vibrating with excitement. I understand why.

She used to spend a lot of time with my mom and dad, especially in the last three years. She misses them, even though joining a new pack was absolutely the right thing for us. Even though we haven’t talked to Aisley about Samuel and I being together, she’s a smart pup and already sees his parents as her new grandparents.

As long as they treat her well, I can’t find any reason to have a problem with it. More people to love my special pup is a good thing in my opinion.

The door to the house opens before Samuel and I even step up fully onto the porch and Stacy is there with a big smile on her face. “Aisley and Nyx,” she chirps in greeting, “it’s so good to see you.”

Samuel grumbles, “What am I? Chopped wolf?”

Stacy waves a hand dismissively before ushering Aisley into the house. “You know I love you and am always happy to see you, Samuel,” she throws over her shoulder. “Come in, Tristan and Serenity are already here and if I’m not careful then my mate will soak up all the baby sweetness.”

I freeze in place with the mention of Serenity and Tristan. His sister and brother-by-mating? The Alpha and Luna of Blood Rising?

When Samuel shoots me a questioning look, I hiss out of the side of my mouth, “You didn’t mention the Luna and Alpha from Blood Rising would be here.”

The sheepish smile on his face has me groaning and running a hand over my face. I hope they don’t think I’m robbing the cradle or something since Samuel is eight years younger than me. I cringe at the thought because it hasn’t bothered me up to this point.

But it’s completely different when other people are coming in and might judge you.

Samuel’s voice is gentle, “What has you scrunching your face up like that?”

“What if they think I’m trying to corrupt you or something?” He blinks at me, clearly not understanding my outburst and the strange place my thoughts have gone. I prompt, hoping I don’t have to spell it out, “Our age gap?”

Samuel smirks and I narrow my eyes at him. He hooks his arm around my waist and pulls me flush against his chest. “You’re forgetting that Tristan is eight years older than Serenity. It seems an age gap works for this family.”

I cringe before forcing myself to relax and nodding slowly. He doesn’t let go of me while I take a few deep breaths and push my fears to the side. “Sorry,” I whisper before face planting against his chest. “I hadn’t even though about our age difference until right then. It doesn’t bother me and I’m not sure why I freaked out.”

“Nyx,” he presses a kiss against my temple, “it’s okay, I understand. You’re nervous and this is a big step, but it’s one we’re going to take together. I’m excited to show you off to my family and to introduce Aisley to even more people who are going to love her.”

“Okay,” I whisper before clearing my throat. “Okay,” the second one sounds a lot stronger.

Samuel squeezes me before slowly releasing me. But not completely, but I’m more than okay with it.

“Oh,” Aisley’s voice floats to where we’re standing just inside the front door, “he’s so beautiful and so little.”

“I knew she would love Adam and be good with him,” the pride in Samuel’s voice is easy to hear.

He leads me into the dining room and my cheeks warm because everyone is already sitting around the table and, clearly, waiting for us. The introductions around the table go quickly and I can’t help but smile because Aisley is sitting right next to Serenity, who is holding Adam, and all of her focus is on the small baby in his mom’s arms.

Once the initial introductions are done, Samuel leads me closer to his sister. “And this,” his voice is so soft that it makes me want to give him a baby to fawn over, “is my nephew, Adam.”

I look down at the precious pup and emotions clog my throat. My voice is a little hoarse as I breathe, “He’s perfect.”

“We think so.” Serenity smiles at me and it puts me at ease. She nods toward Aisley. “You have quite the perfect pup as well.”

“I think so,” I fire her words back at her.

The look that passes between us is loaded and we assess each other in that look. It might not make sense, but I can feel her acceptance and how happy she is for her brother. I’m glad because I know how important it is to Samuel to gain his sister’s forgiveness.

As we sit down around the table, it reminds me of the family dinners my mom used to have. The conversation flows easily along with laughter. Aisley preens under the attention and is more than willing to tell anyone who will listen about what she’s been up to at school and how much she loves living at Waning Moon.

Tristan doesn’t talk much, but he keeps a very watchful eye on Serenity and Adam. After hearing about how Serenity was treated in the pack here, even though it’s in the past, I can’t say that I blame him. He’s not hostile and I think that’s a win.

I hope that everyone around the table realizes that even though they think they have time to repair their family, you never know what tomorrow will bring. Time has a way of being ripped away from you without warning or it passes without caring about what hurts you continue to hold onto.

“Yes,” my wolf snickers, “which is why it’s a good thing you have me to push you a little when needed. If it were up to you completely, we wouldn’t be sitting here because you would have never opened yourself up to Samuel and the future he can help build with us.”

After the table is cleared and Aisley is fawning over Adam who is now nestled in Stacy’s arms, which the first-time grandmother is clearly grateful for, Serenity looks at me with kind eyes. “Will you take a walk with me, Nyx?”

I glance at Tristan and then Samuel. Neither are tense nor look concerned. “Of course, Luna Serenity.”

The corners of her mouth tip down in a small frown. “Please just all me Serenity,” she insists as we stand up. Stacy and Darwin barely raise their gazes from Adam and Aisley who is crowding them. Tristan gives me a small smile, which feels like a win, and a chin lift of support. “We’re family,” she adds before I follow her out the backdoor and toward a sitting area around a fire pit.

She sits down gracefully and it’s clear to see the poise and grace she brings to her position. To have that in the face of the abuse and pain she suffered here in Waning Moon makes me respect her even more.

The silence stretches between us, and I fold my hands in my lap in the effort to not wring them together and hide the way they’re shaking. It’s not uncomfortable, but it’s not exactly comfortable either.

Serenity breaks first, her voice gentle with an edge of steel in it. She sighs, “You make my brother happy. Thank you.”

I smile softly as I think about the time I’ve spent with Samuel. He’s a complicated male with a past that would have broken a lesser wolf. But not him, he’s risen from the ashes of every great change his life has gone through.

He might be battered and bruised, but aren’t we all in one way or another?

“Oh,” Serenity sits up a little straighter, “you love him.”

I know I’m blushing by the way my face heats. “He’s an easy male to love,” I admit softly, “but we haven’t said the words yet.”

Serenity’s face softens and she nods slowly, “You will. Soon, I bet. It’s clear that he loves you as well. And he’s head over heels for Aisley.”

“She loves him too,” I whisper. “Getting to watch them bond has been one of the best things I’ve ever experienced.” I look over at the forest, memories of running with Samuel coming back to me. “I didn’t come here to look for love. I came here to heal. After losing Andrew three years ago, it wasn’t easy to keep putting one foot in front of the other. The only thing that saved me was knowing I needed to keep it together, at least most of the time, because of Aisley. She saved my life, but I wasn’t really living.”

She gently prods, “And now?”

“And now I can remember what it means to live. It still hurts sometimes,” I rub the spot on my chest where it feels like the throb of pain comes from, “and I’m not sure that will ever go away. What I do know is that Andrew would want me to be happy. He was an amazing male and mate, but he’s not here anymore and I am. It’s taken me a long time to get to that point but being here has helped.”

“I’m glad,” Serenity’s voice is soft.

My eyes snap to her. “You know, he’s done all of this because of you, right?” The look she gives me is startled and I explain, “After everything that happened to you and the way your relationship was destroyed, which is not your fault and he doesn’t think it is, when he was given the chance to be the Alpha here, he set out to create a pack where you would have been safe and accepted. In so many ways, this pack is a testament to you and the future he hopes for the relationship between you two.”

She nods and sighs, “I forgave him a long time ago.”

“He doesn’t think that,” my voice comes out sharper than I intend it to.

“I forgave him because I realize that what happened wasn’t his fault.” She sighs, her voice filled with regret because it wasn’t her fault either, “But I don’t trust him or my parents, not yet. Trust is fragile and easily broken. While it’s easy to forgive, trust takes more time.”

“I can understand that. But,” I pause and shift in my seat, “as you work on building that trust again, don’t forget that tomorrow isn’t guaranteed.”

Silence wraps around us, but this time it’s less tense. I think we’ve come to an understanding that means we’re on the same side.

“I’m not sure that I’m cut out to be the Luna of this pack,” I admit which is, somehow, easier because she has no real stake in who leads this pack since she has her own.

“You are the perfect Luna for this pack,” she assures me. “You understand pain and how dark this world can become, but you also know that there is light and hope.”

I’m not sure if I agree with Serenity that I’m the perfect Luna for this pack, but I know for sure that I want to be with Samuel. If that means I have to figure out how to help him lead, so be it.