Born to Make You Smile

THIRTY

“What’s with the luggage?” Gavin asked as he loaded the suitcase into the trunk of his SUV.

“I’m staying with Dorina and Vanessa for the week,” I said. “Until my furnace is replaced. So, after work, I’ll just head over there.”

He nodded and closed the trunk.

After our G-Force hand gesture, we headed on our way.

“You know, I was thinking,” he said, tapping the steering wheel. “Why don’t you stay with us instead? You can sleep in the spare bedroom. There’s more than enough space.”

I blinked, trying to figure out what to say. Part of me wanted to stay with him. But I also didn’t want to trouble him, or be treated like I couldn’t take care of myself. Besides, Dorina was really looking forward to the girl time. She’d already made plans for us. On top of all that, I didn’t love the idea of being hidden away in the spare bedroom. It put a sour twist in my stomach.

“Don’t worry.” I brushed a hand at him. “Dorina’s excited for me to stay with her, plus her condo is close to the subway so I can get to your office easily in the mornings.”

He hummed, looking concerned. “All right. You’re sure?”

“Yes. Very sure.”

“I’m going to miss you riding with me.” He frowned. He looked as if I’d told him I was moving away forever.

“Gavin.” I put my hand on his arm. “It’s only a week.”

“I know. I’m just teasing.” He smiled, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes.

“You’ll have to listen to disco hits on your own.”

He nodded. “I suppose without you here, I can play ‘You Sexy Thing’ on repeat.”

I let out a chuckle. But inside, I ached. He seemed so disappointed that I turned down the offer to stay with him. And while I didn’t want to hurt his feelings, I also had to do what was best for me.

For us.

***

“Hold on. So Gavin offered to have you stay at his place, but you turned him down?” Dorina asked, grabbing a tuna roll with her chopsticks.

“I told him I was already staying here.”

“Don’t get me wrong, we love having you, but the man was reaching out, starting to incorporate you into his life.”

“I guess,” I said hesitantly. “But the thing is, he wanted me to stay in the spare bedroom. It’s like he wants me, but he wants to keep me at a distance at the same time. I hate that. And I hate relying on him. I’m like his third daughter.”

I groaned, then put a piece of salmon sashimi into my mouth. The fresh, cool fish melted on my tongue. Sushi was an expensive delicacy I hadn’t had in months, and I really missed the flavor.

Dorina rolled her eyes. “I’m sure he doesn’t think of you like that. But what’s wrong with relying on him once in a while?”

“It feels too risky.” I pursed my lips. “Like he’ll spoil me, then decide I’m no longer worth it and take it away.”

She shook her head. “Gavin would never do that. He’s one of the good ones. Sometimes you need to give up a bit of control. Trust him. Like you do in the bedroom.”

She raised her brows and nudged me. I’d filled her in on our tinkering with role-play and BDSM. Not in great detail, but enough to give her an idea of our dynamic.

“I still can’t believe he’s into that,” she said. “I would have never in a million years guessed he had that Dom energy.”

“Yeah.” I smiled. “It was hidden, but I saw something in him. And I just helped bring it out.”

After we finished eating, I stacked the takeout containers and placed them into recycling.

“Do you want to head to a club tonight?” she asked, going through some mail on her kitchen counter.

“I should probably stay in. Save some money.”

“Well, I heard you have lots of cash now,” she said.

I glanced at her, perplexed.

She had her hands on her hips. “Marcelo said you came in the other day.”

I sighed, looking at her disappointed expression.

“I cannot believe you sold him the bracelet!” she scolded, her voice loud. “Why would you do that? What’s going on?”

My shoulders dropped. “I just needed some fast cash to pay for my furnace.”

“Okay,” she said, drawing the word out. “But what are you going to do when Gavin asks about the bracelet? Do you think he won’t notice it missing?”

“Relax,” I assured. “I’m going to buy the bracelet back at the end of the month once I get my paychecks. Marcelo said he’d hold on to it for me. Your cousin is the best.”

She looked at me with doubt.

I smiled, trying to push down my own worries and hesitations. “Everything will be fine. Promise.”

“If you say so. But get dressed. We’re going out. My treat.”

***

A week later, at the end of the day, I was in the treatment room, putting sterilized dental tools away.

“Hey, you,” Gavin said, poking his head in. “Before we go, I’d like to speak with you about something.”

“Sure,” I said, licking my lips, neatly placing the bagged drill heads into their designated spots. I wondered if he had another sexy role-play scenario in mind.

“In your office?”

He shook his head, then sat down in his chair. “We can talk here.”

Well, so much for that idea.

He tapped his hands on his thighs. “The other day, I couldn’t help but overhear you on the phone. What sounded like an agency. Regarding your mortgage payments.”

I swallowed and closed the white drawer in front of me.

Collection agencies for my mortgage and utilities debts had been calling me nonstop for the past two weeks. I tried to avoid their phone calls, but sometimes I picked up and had to deal with the conversation. I’d tell them I didn’t receive the bills, that my internet was down, try to stall. But it could only buy me so much time. I’d been so preoccupied with saving the money to buy back the bracelet that so many of my bills had fallen even more behind.

“Oh. Yeah,” I said with a dismissive shrug. “I forgot a bill, and they were hounding me down.”

I logged out of the computer system, not making eye contact with him.

“That’s all it was?” he asked.

“Yup. I took care of it.”

“Grace,” he said, his tone firm. “If you ever need help, you’d tell me, right?”

“Yes,” I maintained, glancing at him.

He frowned. “Because I never want you to struggle.”

If I told him about my money woes, he’d want to help. Rush in like a knight in shining armor, treating me like a helpless damsel in distress. Then he’d be offended when I turned his monetary assistance down.

“I’m a big girl.” I forced a smile. “I can take care of myself. You don’t have to worry about me. You have enough things to worry about.”

“But I do worry about you. And I was doing some thinking today. Perhaps you could move in with us. For good. You can sell the house. Then you wouldn’t have to worry about the mortgage or all those bloody repairs anymore.”

My throat grew thick, and I became lightheaded. The mere thought of selling the house broke me inside. “I’m sorry, I can’t…”

“Are you planning on living in that home forever?” His brow pinched.

I shook my head. “I have no idea. Maybe. I don’t know how to part with it. It’s all I have left of my mom.”

“Believe me, I know what it’s like to grip tight to memories and be fearful of letting go. But you can’t hold on every single one of those physical things forever. At some point, you have to move on. Especially when you can’t keep up with the bills, and the situation is getting out of hand.”

“It was one payment, ” I corrected, sternly. My blood was lava through my veins. “ Nothing is out of hand.”

I stormed out of the treatment room, breathing to calm myself. This whole conversation was making my stomach tighten and twist. I was becoming heated and defensive, and all I wanted to do was run away from it and hide.

I headed into the break room and braced my hands on the linoleum counter, fusing my eyes shut with deep, controlled breaths.

“Grace,” he said. “Please. Look at me.”

Inhaling a deep breath, I turned to face him.

He put a hand on my shoulder. “I’m only trying to help. You know that, right?”

“I know. I’m sorry,” I said with a sigh, retrieving my coat from the closet. “Believe me when I say I can handle this, okay?”

I blinked away the prickle of tears.

He sighed. “Fair enough. I understand.”

I could feel the chasm growing between us. He only wanted to help me. Why was I holding on so tightly and being so stubborn? I knew deep down, I trusted Gavin, but the voices in my head were deafening. I could hear Mom scolding me for making myself so vulnerable to this man. He was already in charge of my income. I couldn’t allow him to take over my living situation and my finances on top of everything.

I couldn’t let him control my life.

***

The end of the month came fast, and before I knew it, my final day at X-PLORE had arrived.

“Did you want to come in?” I asked Gavin after he parked on the street. “They have this ’70’s themed club you’d love. Studio 69.”

“Studio 69,” he repeated. “Clever name.”

“I’m working the bar there tonight. I get to make all these old-school drinks—Tom Collins, Stinger, Grasshopper, Brandy Alexander, and my favorite, Pink Lady.”

He nodded, silent.

“You’ll just have to fill out a few forms. But, because you know me, it should be quick. The disco music is amazing. All your favorites. There’s even topless dancing.” I winked, then added, “Not me of course. Mostly the guests. So did you want to come? Just for a bit?”

He hummed. “While that all sounds rather tempting, I don’t think it’s a good idea. If there happened to be someone I knew who saw me there…”

He was clearly referring to Bill Salinger.

“No. I get it,” I said, trying not to let my disappointment show. “Thanks for the ride.”

“Have a great last day. I’ll have a car here at two o’clock to pick you up.”

I waved a hand at him. “Gavin, it’s okay. I can get home on my own.”

“ Please . Enough with the protests,” he said with sharpness.

I tried not to let his curtness get to me. He was likely tired and fed up.

“Thanks.” I grabbed my bag and headed inside, being mindful of the patches of ice by the curb.

While I set up glasses in Studio 69, Joshua came up and wrapped his arms around me. “I’m gonna miss you working here on T-days, Goldie.”

I chuckled. I love how he called Tuesdays and Thursdays T-days . “I’ll miss you too.”

He handed me a small pink box. “I got you something. A little going away present.”

“What? Joshua...”

“Just open it!”

When I opened the box, a smile crept over my lips when I saw the membership card nestled inside.

“Good for one whole year here at X-PLORE,” he said proudly.

“Thank you!” I hugged him. “That’s really very sweet of you.”

He pointed a finger at me. “You’d better visit. Often. And please bring that hot Brit of yours. I really want to meet him.”

I forced a smile. “I actually invited him in tonight to check out Studio 69. But he wasn’t big on the idea.”

“That’s okay,” he said with a shrug. “This place can be intimidating at first. He’ll come around. Especially now that you have a membership.”

I shook my head with a frown. “I’m not sure about that. He’s scared of running into someone he knows. Even with the confidentiality agreement, he thinks it could affect business. His reputation.”

“Man. That sucks.” He sighed. “Well, I’ll be around. I practically live here lately.”

I imagined visiting here for fun, hanging out with Joshua, which would be nice of course. But then my stomach dropped, lamenting the fact that Gavin would likely never join me here. He’d never be a part of this wonderful world. Lately, I felt a distance starting to brew between us. And I had the aching worry that we’d only get more separated with time.

***

A few days later, the winter chill hit hard, running straight to my bones. I had myself bundled up when I went to Marcelo’s store to buy back the bracelet. I felt uneasy carrying so much cash on me. I had this strange feeling I’d be robbed on the way there, knowing my luck lately. Thankfully, I managed to arrive unscathed.

As soon as Marcelo saw me, his smiling face fell.

“Grace. Hi,” he said, then groaned. “Look, uhh. I have terrible news.”

Oh no. Blood rushed to the surface of my skin as if to protect me from the doom he was about to deliver.

“What?” I said with a frown. “What happened?”

He winced. “About your bracelet. It got sold. Accidentally.”

No. No. No.

I blinked, my head going faint as my bad luck made its fateful appearance. “What do you mean it got sold? I thought you were holding it for me. How did this happen?”

“So two days ago, I had to drive my wife to the hospital,” he said, tilting his head from side to side.

I clutched my chest as guilt consumed me. His wife had an emergency, and here I was, worried about a stupid bracelet. “Oh my God. Is she okay?”

“Yes.” He waved a dismissive hand. “Just an x-ray for her foot. Everything is fine. A broken toe. She slipped on a patch of ice. But anyway, my younger brother was watching the store. A man comes in and says he wants nice diamonds for his wife, you know, for Valentine’s Day. My brother found the bracelet in the back. And he sold it.”

Marcelo looked as if he’d just taken a bullet.

“I am so sorry,” he continued. “I should have left a note. My wife called me, and I was in a rush.”

My mind spun like a tornado. What was I going to do? Maybe I could find the buyer. Beg him. Pay him with the little extra I saved. I still had time. It wasn’t Valentine’s Day yet.

“It’s okay. You don’t happen to have the name of the person the bracelet was sold to?”

He shook his head. “No. We don’t keep that kind of information here for secondhand pieces. We take the cash, they take the jewelry, and the sale is final.”

Shit. With despair, I put my head in my hands.

“I feel so bad. Maybe we can find you something similar?” he offered. “I’ll give you extra, extra discount.”

I shook my head and pushed out a smile. “Don’t worry, Marcelo. Thanks anyway.”

Maybe Gavin wouldn’t notice if I never wore the bracelet again. Maybe in ten years, we’d have a good laugh about it.

Remember that time I pawned your Christmas gift, and I couldn’t get it back? That was hilarious, wasn’t it?

Fucking hell.

This was a nightmare.