Born to Make You Smile

THIRTY-FOUR

At the beginning of May, I stood in my backyard, for what would likely be the last time. I observed Gavin next door. He had a small shovel in hand, tending to his garden.

A new season. A new life.

I decided it was finally time to have a talk.

My stomach flip-flopped with nerves as I walked up to the fence that separated our yards.

“Hey,” I said with a smile.

He looked over at me, his disposition uneasy. He didn’t seem pleased to see me, making me even more tense. “Grace. How are things?”

“All right. Can I talk to you?”

“Of course.” He gestured for me to come over to his side.

With my raccoon Beanie Baby and a jar of turnips in hand, I walked around and entered his yard.

I held up the jar as I made my way to him. “I’m pretty sure these belong to you.”

“Where did you get that?” His lips formed a gentle smirk.

I shrugged with exaggeration. “I have no idea. They somehow ended up in my groceries many months ago.”

“I see. Must have been a little fairy who put them there.”

I hummed with a grin. “Me thinks it was a sneaky dentist.”

He chuckled with closed lips, then pointed at the Beanie. “And who is that little guy?”

“Snoops. My raccoon. I gave away most of my collection. But I kept him and a few others.”

I swallowed, putting down the Beanie and jar on the grass. “Can I help you here, in the garden?”

“Sure.” He moved close to me. He smelled of sweat and the outdoors. The combination made me weak with need. To hold him. To kiss him. “You can dig holes before I put the plants and seeds in.”

He handed me the small shovel. “You’re all moved out?”

“Pretty much. Joshua helped. We got rid of a lot of stuff. Almost everything.”

He nodded. “Have you met the new owners?”

“No. But my real estate agent told me they’ll be tearing down the house.”

“Oh God. No,” he said, devastated. “You can’t be serious.”

I continued digging a small hole. “It is what it is. I expected it. The house was in bad shape. It’s much, much older than yours.”

When Shirley had informed me of the new owner’s plans to tear it down, I couldn’t help but break down and cry. I still wasn’t sure how I would deal with the house being reduced to nothing.

“Well, I’m sorry to hear that,” he said.

“It’s difficult, but I’m dealing with everything. I’m in therapy now, so it’s been helping.”

His brows rose. “Wow. Therapy. That's very good.”

“I needed it. Clearly, I had a lot of issues. You know. From my mother. And my father. Deep-rooted issues I had to sort through—still sorting through,” I corrected. “They obviously haven’t gone away overnight.”

A huge revelation was the guilt I’d held on over my mom’s death. If I would have known about her chronic headaches, I could have done something. But she held her health issues back from me. I wasn’t sure why. Maybe because she didn’t want to burden me with worry. My therapist helped me realize I was doing the same thing, with my friends, with Gavin. I tried to keep my problems to myself, and in the end, everyone suffered. Especially those who cared about me.

I watched as Gavin placed a sprouted plant into the small hole in the soil. It was bright green, the stem thin and the leaves were large, resembling spades.

“What plant is that?” I asked.

He turned to me. “Green beans. I grew them from seedlings in my basement greenhouse. They’re doing quite well already.”

“Nice.” I smiled.

“Those are tomatoes, red peppers, carrots, cucumbers, and courgettes,” he said, pointing at various areas of the garden. “Herbs in the far-left corner.”

“Looks amazing. I can’t wait to taste everything.” I nodded, smiling. “It seems it’s going to be a fruitful year.”

I hoped it was a metaphor for us. Our life.

The air became thick with silence.

“I miss you,” I finally blurted.

He grinned, removing his gloves. “I miss you too. You have no idea. Work just isn’t the same without you. Without your smile.”

“Look, I’m so sorry. For everything. For lying. For hurting you. I should have swallowed my pride and come to you for help in the first place. I shouldn't have gone behind your back and hid everything away. It was wrong and immature of me. I know I messed everything up. And I'm still a work in progress. But I don't want to lose you forever. I can't do this on my own. I need you.”

He simply nodded as I spoke.

“If you're ready to have me, I'd like to come back. To work. To you. To build your trust again. And I'd like to take you up on the offer to live with you. If the offer still stands. I want you to take care of me. To spoil me. Rotten.”

Gavin stood there, staring. He wiped the sweat off his brow with the back of his hand. I swallowed and paced on my feet, worried I still wasn’t enough for him.

“But if you still think I'm not ready,” I added, “I'll keep trying. Because I love you more than anything in this world.”

“Come here. Right now,” he ordered.

My brain swirled, and blood rushed to my face. I dropped the shovel and threw myself, wrapping my arms around him tightly, just about knocking him over with the force of my body.

He leaned over and embraced me back. I inhaled him. The warm pulses of love that invaded my body were insurmountable.

“I love you so much,” he whispered into my ear.

Pushing my lips against his, we kissed. It started gentle and tame, then escalated into the overdue passion that had been building since our time apart. All the feelings I thought were lost forever came rushing back like bolts of lightning striking every inch of my body.

He moved back, peering deep into my eyes. “I know I was hard on you, and what you did wasn’t easy. But I have to say, I’m so proud of you, love.”

“Thanks.” I smiled, pride filling my chest. “I needed you to be hard on me.”

“I can be hard on you in other ways, ” he said with a goofy wink.

I chuckled, grazing my teeth over my bottom lip. “I’d like that.”

“We could use a break here. The girls are at a birthday party if you’d like to come inside. Upstairs .”

God, I needed him so badly. “Definitely.”

Reaching down, Gavin took the small Beanie and placed him on the edge of the wood planter. “Snoops, my good sir. I’m putting you in charge of the garden. No shenanigans now. I’m trusting you won’t attack my sprouting green beans. Or call upon your colleagues.”

I laughed so forcefully that I snorted three times.

“That laugh. How I missed that laugh.”

***

We washed up, then before I knew it, I was naked on his bed.

Gavin’s movements were gentle and calculated as if he was savoring, worshipping every part of my body. While slightly torturous, I reveled in the sensations of his hot mouth all over me.

He kissed my toes, my ankles, and my kneecaps, which I discovered were quite ticklish. He moved on to lick the dips of my hips, the curves of my waist, up to my breasts, where he, not surprisingly, spent the most time indulging in his two favorite parts of me.

I writhed, needing more.

Finally, he came up to my mouth with a smirk. “I love you,” he murmured.

“I love you too.”

We kissed for some time, then I felt him slowly enter me. I went from empty to full in a matter of seconds.

I could feel every contour, ridge, and valley; his heartbeat pulsing inside me.

He was made for me. Perfectly tailored to push me to my limit, hitting me deep, exactly where I ached. The tip of him dragged against my walls, sending shock waves through my body with each thrust.

“God, you feel so good,” he growled, his jaw clenched. “I’m going to come so hard.”

“Me too,” I murmured, blinking. I clenched on his length, moments away from erupting.

“Yes. Squeeze me, love,” he muttered. I tightened on him as hard as I could go, and he moaned. “Just like that.”

His movements were hard and focused. The primal sounds coming from his mouth made me dizzy.

I stared at him, the expression of pure bliss across his face. He was rolling his hips, rubbing me on the inside just right. I was on the edge of glory, no longer able to hold back.

“ Gavin, ” I breathed.

He pushed himself deeper with a groan. “ Grace. ”

We locked eyes, and I felt him fill me while my climax hit, my walls pulsing around every inch of him.

We continued to stare into each other’s eyes as we came down from the high.

“Did we just...” I muttered, shaking my head in disbelief. “At the same time?”

“We most certainly did.”

“Bloody magnificent,” I said, mimicking his accent. “I’d like ten more please.”

“Coming right up, love.” He laughed and kissed my forehead.