Breaking through the Bond (Espen Jetties #2)

22. King

22

KING

If there was a medal for best performance in avoidance, it went to Hayes. The man did his level best not to interact with me.

For four fucking days.

We both went down to the gym to meet with our trainer. We both were on the concerned end of Devon’s looks, who chose to stay quiet. Hayes and I rode the elevator back up and went our separate ways. We’d meet for food and part again. It was some serious bullshit.

I was staring out my bedroom window and I was drained. Physically and emotionally. Maybe if I slept worth a damn since my world imploded, I’d have had more energy to work out but nope. I was barely making it through.

First Hayes told me he had feelings for me. My best friend. The man I crushed on. Then, because that wasn’t enough, Jamie went to get Hayes and broke it off with me. He didn’t say those exact words, but it was heavily implied after he kissed me and left without another word.

“You need to do this. It’ll be okay.”

Was he okay? Because I sure wasn’t. I wanted to scream and throw things. Go to Jamie and yell at him for giving up on us. But could I really do that?

I was so angry at first when he left. Then I shattered because I realized what he did. He left me so I could be with Hayes, and damn if that didn’t make me love him even more. I was being torn in two. My love for Hayes and Jamie were both very real. I didn’t know it was possible for me to feel this way—to love two men equally—yet here I was.

Looking out the window, I was still slick with sweat from our workout session. I wasn’t even seeing anything beyond the glass, too lost in my head. While my ex-boyfriend was who knew where and my best friend was in his bedroom avoiding me.

All right. I’d had enough. This was going to stop. No way was I losing everything. I wouldn’t survive it.

I turned and went across the hall to Hayes’s bedroom. My fist pounded on the door. It reminded me when I did the same after Jamie left. Hayes told me to leave him alone. That he needed some space. So, I did as he asked as much as it broke me because I was so fucking hurt. I knew Hayes was hurting too.

I wasn’t an idiot. He’d no doubt been blaming himself for Jamie breaking it off with me, but that wasn’t his fault. And Jamie and I were going to discuss that breakup, but I needed things fixed with Hayes first.

Enough of the space shit though. I wanted my best friend back. For all I knew he was looking online for somewhere else to move and no way was that happening.

When nothing but silence greeted me on the other side, I leaned close to the door and said, “Open it, Hayes, or I will take this bitch right off its hinges. I gave you your space like you asked. Time’s up. We need to talk.” He wasn’t in the shower yet. I would have heard it running. We’d only gotten back less than ten minutes ago.

Still nothing.

“Goddammit, Hayes. You know I’m serious.”

I went to pound on the door again, but it swung open before I could. Hayes was shirtless, in nothing but a pair of black boxer briefs. Yes, I looked. The man was delectable. All hard muscles from constant exercise to stay in shape for the game we both loved to play.

“I told you to leave me alone.” There was nothing but dejection in his tone.

“Yeah, I got the memo and decided to throw it out. I’m done. We need to talk.”

“You can’t tell me when I’ve had enough time to myself.”

“Oh, I think I can. You’re my best friend. I know you better than you know yourself.”

“Obviously you don’t.” Ouch that stung. He was right because I would have never guessed how he felt about me, but still. “Go, King. I need to shower.” His eyes dropped down, reminding me I was in a similar state of undress as him, except I still had shorts on.

I stepped into his room, effectively cutting off any chance he had at closing the door in my face. “You don’t get to bail on our friendship.”

“What?” This time he didn’t bother to contain his reaction. “You think I just said fuck it and walked away from you?”

“Sure as hell felt like it.”

“You’re insane! I couldn’t walk away from you for long. Shit, I’ve hated this entire week. It’s been ripping me apart.”

“You’re the one not talking to me!”

“For a good reason!” I was glad our walls were thick because, apparently, we were trying to see who could outyell who. “How can you even stand to look at me after what I did?”

“What did you do, Hayes? Tell me you had feelings for me? That’s hardly a reason to call off years of friendship.”

“I’m the reason Jamie left you! If I would have kept my mouth shut, you’d still be happy!”

I took a deep breath and tried to calm myself. “Jamie left because he thought I should be with you. That I’d be happier with you. And you know what? I’m miserable because I lost both of you!” So much for calmness.

Hayes shook his head. “You need to go to him, King. Make things right. You love him. He obviously loves you.”

“I need you and me fixed first. You’re here, in front of me. I’m not leaving until we work this out.”

He turned his back on me, his muscles bunching as he tensed. “Go, King. There’s nothing to discuss.”

“You have feelings for me. That’s a big fucking discussion.”

“And you love Jamie.”

“I love you too, you fucking asshole!”

I advanced on him, meeting him in the middle of the room as he turned to respond. I backed him against the wall next to the window. There were only two inches separating us in height, with Hayes having the slight advantage. I held his chocolate brown eyes. A color I loved so much. Something that every time I saw it, I thought of Hayes. And wasn’t that some shit? Even when I was trying to keep my feelings locked away, they were still there, subtle as they might have been.

“You don’t love me like that, King. You love me as a friend. But you love Jamie as more.”

“Don’t you dare tell me how I feel. You don’t know because you’ve been hiding in this room, which I know damn well you’re sick of being in at this point.” I poked my finger at his chest, our bodies so close we were sharing heat. It wrapped around us like a sauna, licking our skin, making this moment that much more charged. “You can stand here and deny it all you want, but it’s the truth. I. Love. You. And not just as friends.”

“What about Jamie?”

“One problem at a time. We need to fix us before I can talk to him.”

He tried to move away but I braced my hands on the wall above his shoulders, caging him in. “I’m not meant to be yours, King.” His breath was coming faster, fresh sweat beading above his top lip.

“I get to decide who’s mine and who isn’t.” Hayes was mine but Jamie was too. I didn’t know how I was going to make it work, although I had to find a way. I couldn’t lose either of them. That thought was completely unacceptable.

Hayes’s eyes screwed shut and he dropped his head back against the wall with a thud. “You don’t know what you’re saying.”

“When have I ever said something to you that I didn’t mean that wasn’t a joke? And you know when I’m messing around, which I’m not right now. I’m serious.” I gave in and brushed my fingers along the scruff on his jaw. Fuck, he was gorgeous. I’d always thought so but being this close to him, smelling his natural musk, it was intoxicating.

“King, please.” His voice was nothing but a whisper.

“What do you want? Tell me and it’s yours.”

His eyes opened and they nearly ripped my heart from my chest at the amount of pain in them. “You can’t give me that.”

“I can because I’m not walking away from you. I told you I love you. That means something to me. It’s not a passing thought.”

“I…”

“Say it, Hayes. I need to hear it.”

“Please, don’t. I’m barely hanging on here.” Tears pooled in his eyes. “I can’t have you this close and know you’re not mine to touch, to kiss, to feel.”

“No one’s stopping you.”

“But you love Jamie.”

We shared breaths, so close but not where I wanted us to be. I wouldn’t be satisfied until I had my lips on his. Felt his skin beneath my hands. Maybe Jamie was right when he said I needed to do this. It was the only way to know if Hayes and I could be more than friends. That didn’t mean I was moving on from Jamie. Far from it. One thing, or person, at a time.

“I do love him, and I love you. Don’t ask me how this is going to play out because I have no clue. Right now, it’s just us. You and me. Tell me how you feel.”

A tear finally broke free and fell down his cheek. I captured it with my thumb. “I love you, King.” Those words on his lips caused a shudder to go through me.

“Can I kiss you?” He said he loved me but the reality of being with a man might turn him off. I didn’t know if he desired me, thought I was attractive. He’d commented in the past if I asked him how I looked, but that was before he realized he felt something more for me.

“I’m going to fuck this up,” he said.

I couldn’t help but chuckle. “Seriously? How much more screwed up could this possibly get?”

“You have a point there.”

“Let me kiss you, Hayes.”

“You can do anything you want to me,” he whispered.

Who knew eight words could make my dick go from half-chubbed to ready for launch in a second flat?

I leaned in, my lips hovering near his. “I can’t believe I finally get to taste you.”

Hayes reached up and gripped the back of my neck. “You’re taking too long.” Then he crushed his mouth against mine.

Holy shit, we were kissing. Hayes was kissing me . It took his tongue on the seam of my lips for me to snap out of the fog I was in and open for him. His tongue was careful as it entered my mouth, uncertainty no doubt filling his mind. But I didn’t want that. I needed him to let go. Because nothing about this was wrong.

I pressed my body against his, hoping the feel of my dick on his hip didn’t send him running but when I came in contact with his equally hard length, he groaned and deepened our kiss. Uncertainty flew out the window and he devoured me like prime rib at a buffet.

His hand dropped from my neck and landed on my hip. With a tentative thrust, he pushed against me. I’d never hated clothes more than in this moment because this wasn’t enough. I had to feel him everywhere.

Pulling back slightly, I began to press kisses along his jaw. “Can I strip you, Hayes?”

“Fuck yes.”

My hands moved down his chest and stomach, mapping every ridge as they traveled south until they reached the waistband of his boxer briefs. Before I removed them, I had to know if he was leaking. I moved my hand to cup him and graze my thumb over the head of his covered dick. Sure enough, the fabric was wet. My mouth watered. I wanted to taste him in the worst way but didn’t know if he was ready for that. Instead, I pushed his briefs down to his knees then used my foot to send them to the floor. Hayes quickly stepped out of them.

“Now you,” he said. A moan fell from his lips when mine found his Adam’s apple and sucked. “Why does that feel so good?”

“Because I know all the spots to drive you crazy. You’re not fucking around with an amateur, baby.” The term of endearment, while unexpected, felt so right.

Hayes’s fingers were pushing at my clothes, impatient as ever. I helped him get them down and kicked them away, leaving me naked and millimeters from our dicks touching.

Leaning back, I let my gaze wander over him. Cheeks flushed which I was sure matched my own. Sweat slicked skin. Chest rising and falling rapidly. “Look at me, Hayes.”

His chin dipped, his head rolling forward from where it was still resting against the wall. Those soulful eyes opened and locked on mine.

“Are you sure you want this? You’ve never been with a guy before. I don’t want to push you.”

He reached down. I didn’t need to look to know he was holding his dick. “If this doesn’t clue you in to how badly I need you right now, I question your statement about not being an amateur.”

I felt his hands go to my hips again and before I knew it, he had our positions reversed and I was the one pressed to the wall. I whimpered. Legit let that noise come from me. How could I not when Hayes suddenly took control?

His hips pressed to mine, slotting our dicks alongside each other as he braced his forearms on the wall, his nose bumping mine before his lips were on me again. He started a slow grind against me. It was torturous and I never wanted it to end.

“Fuck, King, why does being with you feel better than anyone else I’ve ever been with?”

“Because I love you, Hayes, and I’ll do anything you want.”

“I love you too, now let’s get off because if we don’t, I’m afraid my balls are going to explode.”

My lips quirked up. “We wouldn’t want that, now, would we?”

“King,” he groaned.

I worked my hand between our bodies and collected precum from both our tips to use as lube to jack us off at the same time. Holy shit that felt amazing.

Hayes was getting close, thrusting into my hand, hips faltering every now and then while I tried to keep a solid grip on us both.

“Come for me,” I told him. “I want to feel you coat my dick. Slick me up, baby. Show me how much you want me.”

“Fuck, you have a dirty mouth.”

“All the better to devour you with.”

The first shot of his cum hit my stomach, warmth coating me there and then my hand.

“King, so good.” His forehead rested on mine, hot breath skating over my lips.

My hand sped up, needing to follow him over the edge. “Fuck, Hayes, fuck!” I let go. Came with a force that had my lungs seizing and white flashing behind my closed lids.

My strokes slowed until I couldn’t take anymore and stopped. My hand covered in our joint releases.

When I opened my eyes again, I saw Hayes looking at me. He kissed me and I just had to hope he was ready for what was to come because while we might have started something more between us, I still had to find a way to fit Jamie into this picture too. I wasn’t letting him go. Where there was a will, there was a way, and all that shit.