Broken Bonds (Unbreakable Bonds #1)

Capter Nineteen

capter nineteen

CELINE

We woke up in the middle of the afternoon, although with how dark it was, it certainly didn’t feel like it. My stomach grumbled, so I gently shook Ace awake since I certainly wasn’t going to go get food by myself. I was too nervous to go wandering alone, and I knew he’d be angry if I tried walking by myself.

“Stop stealing my things!” the homeless man shouted, garnering everyone’s attention in the room. Oscar and his daughter walked over to diffuse the situation, but the shouting only got louder. Couldn’t they leave the man alone?

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” Ace growled in frustration, pulling at his hair.

I looked away from him to the guy currently arguing with Oscar. He was still shouting as Oscar and his daughter led him out of the gym, trying to calm him down. Poor guy. Why did people have to be such dicks?

“How about some scrambled eggs and pancakes for you two?” Barbara asked, walking over to our spot with two paper plates filled with food. It smelled heavenly, making my stomach rumble again. And even better—I didn’t have to move to go get it.

“Oh, please, I’m starving.” I leaned up as much as I could from the floor to take the two plates from her with a smile, handing the bigger one to Ace, who finally smiled for the first time since he’d been awake. I guessed what they said was true—the way to a man’s heart was through his stomach. Seriously, I hadn’t seen him smile that big since…

Since we had peanut butter and jelly sandwiches at the beach house.

“Thank you, ma’am,” he said, already raising the plastic fork to his mouth, full of eggs. He hummed in content as he chewed, looking like he might be having a mini orgasm. I coughed to cover my laugh.

After breakfast, we brushed our teeth and wandered the school, looking for a cool place to rest without strangers surrounding us. Oscar still couldn’t get the generator to work, so we were powerless.

Ace was still carrying me everywhere and glared when I objected. The pain was unbearable, but I didn’t tell him that… like saying it out loud would just cement the fear that I may never walk again.

We came to a big room, the walls covered with mirrors. It reminded me of the dance studio in my old high school. Ace walked in, settling us into a cool corner, leaning his back against the mirrored wall. It wasn’t too hot, thankfully, but the darkness made every shadow seem ten times scarier.

“You know, I don’t really know anything about you besides your accident.” His chest rumbled as he spoke, and shivers wracked down my spine.

“I didn’t realize the goal was to become best friends,” I retorted, wishing I knew how to protect my hopeful heart from him.

He huffed in annoyance. “You can really be a bitch sometimes.”

I rolled my eyes. “And you are an asshole most of the time.”

His fingers suddenly grasped my chin, and he turned my head to look at him. My heart skipped a beat in my chest, my pulse fluttering at the base of my throat. His fingers were warm and calloused and God , it felt so good to have him handle me like this.

“I want to know, Celine.” His voice washed over my skin, making my mind go all hazy and blank. “I want to know who you were before Aidan and who you are now.”

I blinked when he suddenly released me, leaving me cold and… empty. “Fine,” I sighed. “We can play twenty questions.”

He rolled his blue eyes. “What’s your favorite childhood memory?” he asked. I frowned. And here I thought he would ask my favorite color. Seemed I wasn’t that lucky.

“When I learned to ride my bike for the first time,” I said lamely. I looked away from his eyes, choosing to look at my hands instead. Looking at him—into his eyes, at that—felt too intimate.

“Why?”

I cast him an annoyed look. “That’s not how this game works. It’s my turn now.”

He huffed, the air blowing against my neck. “Answer the question, Celine. Stop being difficult.”

I was being difficult? Talk about the pot calling the kettle black.

“Ryan and my dad taught me. I had to be about six or seven, and I couldn’t keep up with Ryan on training wheels. I begged my dad to teach me for weeks, but he would just shake his head and tell me not yet. Then, I begged Ryan, but he let me go on his bike, and I ended up having roasties—road rash,” I explained at Ace’s confused look, “all over my legs.”

He went against my parents and tried to teach me in the driveway because I wanted to learn so badly. I fell off as soon as he let go, and I cried so much when I hit the ground. Ryan was so upset; he ran for my parents, crying that I was hurt, not even caring that he would get in trouble. But at his core, that was my brother. Always my knight ready to come in and save the day.

“Once my legs healed, my dad and Ryan spent an afternoon teaching me. After that afternoon, I went riding with Ryan every day. We’d spend hours on our bikes, just riding around our neighborhood.”

I turned to look at Ace in the dark room, but he wasn’t looking at me. He seemed to be reliving his own memories.

“What’s yours, Ace?” I asked, wanting to break the silence.

“The day Jack was born.” His voice was thick with sadness and heartache, and I could feel that sadness wrapping around me like a heavy blanket. I grabbed his hand and squeezed it. His remained slack, but I continued holding it anyway.

“Why?” I tested the waters because if I had to share, he had to do the same.

“I always wanted a mini-me,” he explained, his voice soft. “I wanted someone to play with and boss around. He was so tiny because he came weeks early. There was talk of him not making it, but he did.” He was lost in thought, and I didn’t know what to say, so I didn’t think I should say anything.

“We were stuck to each other like glue. He said my name first—before ‘dad’ and ‘mom’—because I was always around him. He was everything, Celine.” Pain leeched into his words. “He was the sweetest child, never got angry, and he would hug me every time he saw me. I miss him so much.” His eyes closed, and a lone tear rolled down his cheek.

Ace had let his walls down in front of me. And it hurt to see him so broken. So devastated. I wanted to take his pain away and make it my own just so he didn’t have to feel like this any longer.

He opened his eyes and stared into mine, grief I knew and understood all too well swirling in the blue depths of his eyes.

Against my better judgement, I let go of Ace’s hand and threw my arms around his neck. His arms wrapped around my torso, pulling me closer. His body was stiff, his head in the crook of my neck, and then, I felt his tears. And each wet drop cracked my heart more and more.

We didn’t move. I played with the hair at the nape of his neck to soothe him, and eventually, the tears stopped. He pulled away abruptly, pushing me off his lap to stand up. He paced the big room, wiping his hands down his face repeatedly. I watched his reflection in the mirrors as he tried to bring himself back together, to stitch his open wounds back together. After a while, he came to sit beside me again, leaning against the mirrored wall.

He must have been regretting playing this foolish game in the first place.

“Have you guys always lived in that big house?” he asked, his red eyes pulling at the strings of my heart. I shook my head, afraid the overwhelming sadness clogging my throat would come pouring out.

It burned with the tears I had been keeping inside. Tears for him .

Ace didn’t press for more this time. He just nodded and looked away.

“Ryan and I lived in a small comfortable house growing up,” I began. “Mom and Dad shared the master bedroom while we each had our own room but shared a Jack and Jill bathroom. It was fun when we were younger, running between the small bathroom to each other’s room, and I always felt so connected to Ryan. Well, until I turned thirteen.”

I was hoping to lighten the mood, and it seemed to be working, a small smile playing at his lips.

“Sharing a bathroom was no longer fun for either of us by that age.” Ace’s amusement let me know I didn’t have to elaborate on why. Puberty was a bitch. “Nonetheless, Ryan and I did it for three more years until we moved to Highpoint. Then, we all had our own bathrooms and a few extra just in case.”

Mom and Dad designed our house, and it took almost three years to build, a few months to move in, and finally, we were all happy. We had our own space. Our own privacy.

“I’ll never forget our first night in the new house. We all slept on the floor of our rooms with a pillow and a blanket. Mom took the only blow-up mattress and refused to share—even with Dad.” Ace snickered. “We were then woken up the next morning at the crack of dawn by the rising sun streaming in through the windows.”

The same year that we moved into the new house, I met Aidan, and a year later, my parents bought the beach house, which meant Ryan and I were sharing a bathroom yet again, though it was only for a short period of time when we did. But things were different then. Ryan had started college already, and it was the summer before my senior year, so time had changed us. Molded us into different people.

“I couldn’t handle sharing a bathroom with a girl,” Ace said, breaking the silence. “I think I’d go crazy.”

“What are you going to do when you get married?” I asked with a snort.

“She can have the master, and I’ll have my own. A man needs his own space.” I couldn’t help the giggle that passed my lips. I was rewarded with a real smile from him. My heart swelled in my chest.

“Tell me about the homes you grew up in.” His smile disappeared quickly, and I instantly regretted the question. But I couldn’t take the words back.

“I lived in a small house with two bedrooms and one bathroom the majority of my life until Mom met Hank, and we became rich as soon as she took his last name. I had my own room and bathroom that was decorated like a fishbowl for a long time.” I snorted a laugh, and the barest hint of a smile tugged at Ace’s lips before it fell. “I felt like a pauper turned king overnight. It was very exciting and new, and I didn’t have to share with my mom anymore. I only had to keep it clean as per Hank’s instruction and that, I could do.”

I hated thinking about a young Ace always looking for someone’s approval and love. I hated Hank for making Ace feel unworthy of being loved. Like he was second best. Because he wasn’t. Sure, Ace could be a dick, but under that tough-boy exterior, he was tender. Sweet. And he cared .

“When Jack died, my mom and I had to leave Hank for our own safety. We found a haven in my gran’s one-bedroom apartment. It at least had two bathrooms, but unfortunately, only one had a shower. My mom and gran shared a double bed while I spent many sleepless nights on the couch with a lumpy pillow and a thin blanket.”

He paused as a loud clap of thunder shook the building, reminding us of the storm raging outside. It seemed to mimic Ace’s feelings and his story.

“Working all day and sometimes late into the evenings, I saved enough to enroll in college and rent my own apartment. I have my own place to call home now, my own bed and shower that I don’t have to share with anyone. A home where Hank can’t come into my room during the night to beat his pain out on me. I’m thousands of miles away from everything I left behind. I go to bed at night feeling safe,” he swallowed, his Adam’s apple bobbing, “and I don’t fear the dark anymore.”

His past was so dark. It was even dark before Jack’s death, and it now made sense why he was such an asshole. He was protecting himself the only way he knew how. I understood it. How much had I lashed out after the accident? After losing Aidan?

“I’m afraid of the dark,” I admitted, feeling his gaze on me. I stared across the dark room, hating the way the shadows moved. “I always see Aidan’s body when I close my eyes, just crumpled on the ground. My last memory of him won’t leave me, and it’s tainted every other memory of him.”

Ace quietly sighed. “I know. It took me a long time to stop seeing Jack’s body when I closed my eyes. But sometimes… he still lingers.”

We were both so messed up. And despite Ryan’s warning, I was falling for this broken man. How could I not? He was rude, blunt, and mean, but he was also loving, kind, and just… perfectly broken.

Ace was perfectly, beautifully broken.

“Do you think we’ll be okay?” I always wondered if I would stop seeing Aidan, if I would forget about that day. I hadn’t gone a single day without thinking of either.

“One day…maybe.” His words didn’t give me much hope.

We didn’t ask any more questions, our game ending quickly. After a few more minutes, Ace picked me up and walked us back to the gym, where they were serving some canned food for dinner. We ate without speaking a word, letting the murmurs and laughter of everyone else fill our painful silence.

I endured a sleepless night due to the constant pain in my legs. After two hours, I couldn’t take it anymore and started to cry, my shoulders shaking. Ace woke up in a panic upon hearing my small cries and quickly found Donna, who confirmed my pain was only getting worse. She doubled the pain pills she was giving me and went back to sleep.

Ace held me until I eventually fell asleep, my tears soaking his shirt, my legs throbbing.

The next day, Ace helped me get to the showers, and this time, he waited inside the locker room. I hadn’t stopped crying silent tears since the night. I could hardly hold myself up in the shower, but I didn’t want to smell. I put the same clothes on after the shower except with fresh underwear. Wasn’t like I had anything else to wear.

Ace quickly showered and did the same thing before we ended up in the dance room again. He insisted on continuing our game, but this time, we kept the questions simple.

“Dream car?” he asked, drawing my attention away from the pain pulsing through my legs. I wanted to detach them so I couldn’t feel the pain anymore.

“More like cars—plural.” Ace laughed. “I want too many. Right now, I’m thinking of a sports car. I need something fast because my Jeep is slow. You?”

He hummed, contemplating his answer. “A truck—maybe one of those old box Ford ones. I’m not too picky. Do you think you’ll ever get on a bike again?”

Instantly, I shook my head. “No,” I snapped, immediately regretting being so harsh with my answer. I would never trust another person with my life on the back of a bike again. There were some things in life you just never overcame, and that accident—the scars it left on me both literally and figuratively—was one of those things.

He hesitated before he asked his next question. “Do you know how to ride, Celine?”

“No. Aidan liked me on the back of his bike. He wanted to have all the control.” Ace’s body stiffened next to mine, clearly not liking my admission.

“I can teach you once this is all over—give you all the control.” Christ, did he have to make it sound so dirty ?

I shook my head, trying to clear the lustful thoughts of controlling Ace out of my head. We were talking about motorcycles. Motorcycles, Celine .

“I can’t go through that again, Ace. I barely survived the first time, and I’m still suffering the consequences.” I shifted my aching legs, hoping for some relief. But there was none to be found.

“It might help you get over the accident,” he said after a while.

He didn’t understand. And how could I expect him to? Ace loved his bike. And everyone, including Aidan, thought they were safe until suddenly, all the precautions they took weren’t enough.

“You don’t understand. It’s not the bike; it’s not my damaged legs—it’s him.” My throat was too tight. “I can’t just forget about him.”

This time, Ace said nothing, and we sat in silence. Thunder was the only sound in the room, and the loud screams of the wind were still ferociously shaking the building.

It was the perfect soundtrack to the tumultuous feelings inside of me.

Later, we were sitting in a circle on the hard, cold floor, eating dinner with everyone else who was trapped in that school with us. Ace and I hadn’t spoken since our awkward conversation in the dance room, and now, we were having to converse with complete strangers. It was a little uncomfortable.

The three creeps from the first night were right across from me, and their gazes shot between us. I wanted to know what they were thinking, but mostly, the feeling of fear crept up my throat, outweighing my curiosity. Something about them was just… wrong. I couldn’t explain it. And Ace seemed to sense it too because he kept our thighs pressed together—like he was trying to stake a claim and make them back off.

Oscar directed the conversation away from the homeless man and onto me. “How did you two youngins’ meet, Celine dear?” he asked, and every pair of eyes fell on us. Ace shifted uncomfortably beside me, roughly clearing his throat.

“We aren’t—” Ace started to say, but I was quick to grab his hand to stop him. The three men across the circle were watching us intently.

“He’s my older brother’s friend, and you know how that story goes.” Barb laughed. “He just couldn’t stay away from me, and who was I to resist this handsome devil?” I giggled, twirling a strand of hair around my finger, looking at Ace like a lovesick puppy. His eyes widened in shock for a moment before he played along.

“Have you seen this gorgeous girl?” he teased. And fuck, the way he smiled at me, like I truly was the center of his entire universe… I wanted it to be real so damn badly. “I wanted her from the moment my eyes landed on her. I just had to make her my girlfriend.” His fingers that were wrapped around mine tightened, and my chest mimicked his hand, clenching tightly.

“Remember when we first met, Barb?” Oscar smiled an almost toothless grin at his wife. She nodded enthusiastically, reaching for his hand to lace their fingers together.

“It was the summer of eighty-five. I must’ve been fifteen and you—seventeen?” she asked him.

“Summer before my senior year, and this hot chick starts working at my summer camp. I was love-struck.” In the candlelight, Barbara blushed. I wanted a love like that so badly. To have someone I could depend on without a moment’s hesitation…

“We’re high school sweethearts,” Barb informed us. “After that summer, we were inseparable. I even followed him from the Carolinas to Florida for college, and then, he proposed the day I graduated from college. The rest is history, as they say.”

The attention was off Ace and me for now as another couple shared their story about meeting at a flea market. But still, Ace never let go of my hand.

After dinner, everyone went to their claimed spots and prepared for bed. The howling wind hadn’t lessened. Instead, it sounded louder in the big room. Goosebumps raised on my arms at the sound of something slamming against the building. What if Ace and I hadn’t found the shelter? What if we’d been stuck out there in that raging storm?

Ace’s warm hand wrapped around my arm, grabbing my attention. “We’re safe here, Celine. You’re safe.” I nodded, seeing the same fear reflected in his eyes from the flickering candle on the floor beside us. But still, he was trying to reassure me. To ease my fears. How could he be such a grump and so selfless at the same time?

“I want to go home,” I quietly confessed. “I miss my family.” He pulled me into his arms as my bottom lip trembled, and warm tears rushed down my cheeks. I missed home so much. I hated being trapped here.

“Soon, baby girl,” Ace quietly promised. “Soon. I swear to you, I will get you to them.”

He’d never called me that before. And I didn’t know what to do with the warmth that rushed through me. The need to hear him call me that so many more times.

After they listened to the eleven o’clock news advisory on their battery-operated radio, Donna and Barb did the last rounds of the evening and filled everyone in on what was happening outside. According to Barb, the storm was almost over us, and it wouldn’t be long until we could go home. I longed for my mother’s warm embrace so badly.

Donna handed me three Tylenol, sympathy in her big brown eyes before she walked away with her mother to the next group.

“Are they getting worse?” Ace asked, laying out the blankets and pillows we were given on the first night.

I carefully moved myself onto the makeshift bed, curling into a ball and pulling the thin blanket over my body. “Yes,” I confessed, my voice barely audible. Fear clenched my belly tight, making me nauseous.

He laid beside me on his back, staring up at the ceiling, then grabbed my hand under the blankets and squeezed it. “I wish I could take the pain away, princess.” I didn’t say anything. Clutching his hand tightly, I didn’t let go. I closed my eyes, willing sleep to come, trying to ignore the loud sounds of chaos coming from outside and the agony ripping my legs apart.

“I wish I could take all your pain away,” he whispered.