Burn Like An Angel (Harrowdean Manor #2)

7. Ripley

CHAPTER 7

RIPLEY

FIXED BLADE – TRADE WIND

Xander’s lips capture mine. The anger that drove our kiss yesterday is absent. Instead, I’m overwhelmed by the urgent intensity his mouth embodies. He isn’t punishing me; he’s pleading with me. Begging for understanding.

Searching for a way to comprehend what he feels, Xander tattoos a frantic prayer against my lips. The voice that once screamed at me to never let this creature into my head has been beaten into submission.

He pulls my leg up so it hooks on his hip. I’m flush against him, the cold from his naked skin seeping through my t-shirt. His mouth massages mine before he sucks my bottom lip between his teeth to bite down.

I gasp as slick copper seeps between us. The piping hot flow seems to ignite something within Xander. When he squeezes my jaw tight enough to crack bone, the spark of danger makes my soaked core clench.

Stopping for a breath, Xander pushes his thumb through the blood dripping from my lip. He inspects the stained pad before taking his thumb into his mouth to suck it off.

“I want to earn it,” he says emphatically.

“Earn what?”

His hand lowers, moving to clasp my injured throat. My mind can’t keep up with the rapid fluctuations, a desperate man pleading for forgiveness as he squeezes the wound he inflicted.

This is how he surrenders. Xander could never tear down his defences without maintaining some control. The pressure at my windpipe demonstrates his internal struggle, fighting to shed his old self.

“You,” he repeats. “Your trust.”

Releasing my throat, he allows me to suck in a breath. Forcing me to trust him. To believe that even when he holds my life in his hands, he’ll give it back to me in the end.

This isn’t control.

This is trust.

When his grasp loosens completely, I grab his wrist, encouraging him to do it again. Xander’s eyes blow wide. I finally get it. I know what he needs. And right now, I want him to hurt me. I want to give him the pain he needs to inflict.

“You want me like this?” he murmurs, eyelids falling to half-mast.

I nod, my chest searing.

“I’m not a good person, Ripley. I’ve hurt a lot of people. You included. Why are you still begging for more?”

Controlling my breath, he holds me in suspense until spots appear in my vision. I blink rapidly, unable to form words. The overwhelming pain of being choked feels good in the sickest way possible.

Xander releases me, allowing a short breath. “Well?”

“B-Because… I want y-you.”

“How could you possibly want this?” he spits in disgust.

His choking hand caught between us, I lean in to press our foreheads together. “Because I’ll always be safe with a villain on my side.”

The molten determination that’s replaced his icy stare steals my voice. I can handle cold Xander. Calculating Xander. Obsessed Xander. But angry, emotional, fucking possessive Xander?

He’s a different beast entirely.

A beast I’m longing to tame.

“I’ll be your villain if that’s what you want.”

I nod in total compliance.

“No one is going to lay another finger on you,” he promises menacingly. “Not if they want to keep that finger attached.”

His expanding pupils are bleeding into his irises, spelling imminent attack. Xander’s unfettered attention is an intense force, one that once terrified me. Now it feels fucking magnetic.

He’s a powerful riptide holding me captive, repeatedly dunking me beneath the ocean waves, filling my lungs and nose until I’m reliant on his mercy to suck in a single breath.

Abruptly releasing my throat, Xander drops to his knees in front of me. He lifts my oversized tee to seize my waistband. I don’t protest as he wriggles my leggings down over my hips and thighs.

Neither of us speaks. Not as he takes his pocketknife to my panties’ elastic. Nor as the sliced cotton hits the bedroom floor. And not when his head lowers between my thighs.

His mouth travels from my hip to my public bone, planting wet kisses. I shove my fingers into his hair, fisting the strands tight. His teeth scrape against my sensitive inner thigh, teasing me.

“Xan… please.”

“Hush.”

My knees are practically knocking together with each second he fails to offer me relief. I’m lightheaded and trembling, the warring sensations inside me too much to hold.

“Be still,” he demands.

His mouth descends exactly where I want it, his tongue licking the seam of my pussy. I hold back a shudder, terrified he’ll stop if I move an inch. His tongue slides over me before he sucks my clit between his teeth.

“Oh God!” I moan.

Lavishing attention on my sensitive bud, he feasts on my core like a starving man shown a three-course buffet. I buck into his face, silently pleading for more as electric tension coils inside me.

Xander halts, glancing up at me. “I told you to stay still.”

“You try to stay still.”

Finding his feet, he eyes me with a knowing smirk. “Such a brat.”

I yelp when he bends over to grab hold of my bare legs. I’m tossed over his shoulder, carried back to my own rumpled bed. Xander deposits me on the mattress with a huff.

Splayed out on my back, I’m exposed from the waist down. Xander drags his gaze over me, his boxers already straining from a large bulge. He discards the pocketknife on the bed.

The way he’s looking at me while he strips is intoxicating. Every inch of Xander is on display for me to drink in. Whenever I see him naked, I learn something new. This time, I study his defined hips, guiding my eyes down to his cock.

He’s many things, but shy isn’t one of them. Nothing Xander does ever carries a hint of embarrassment. Particularly in the bedroom. He’s made no secret of his proclivities, and a wanton part of me loves that.

“Open your legs for me,” he commands. “Show me what you want, little toy.”

That sick fuck with his stupid nickname.

Holding eye contact, I tug off my t-shirt to reveal my chest. I didn’t bother to pull a bra on after my cold shower. My nipples are hardened spikes, tingling under his attention.

Squeezing my right breast, I feel my mouth quirking as I spread my legs wide open. The power I hold over him without a single touch is enough to get drunk on. Far more potent than any drink or illicit drug.

I was his obsession.

Now he watches me like I’m his god.

Playing with my nipple, I twist and tug, moaning with each painful jolt. I can feel the warmth pooling between my thighs, on full display for him to observe. Just his hungry gaze is enough to excite me.

Xander approaches, certain and purposeful. As he braces himself on the bed, moving to taste me again, I lift my leg high. My bare foot connects with his face, pushing him back so he can’t lay a finger on me.

“I’ll show you,” I croon. “But right now… You have to stay still.”

Keeping him a length from me, I dip my hand down to my dripping pussy. Xander curses under his breath as I circle my clit, coating my fingers in slick moisture. Holding him back is only making this power play hotter.

When I thrust a finger deep into my cunt, heat sizzles down my spine. I work myself over, stretching my pussy wide before pushing another finger inside. A moan spills from my mouth.

“Fucking hell,” Xander rumbles quietly.

“Problem?”

He pushes his face against my foot, trying to get closer. I add more pressure, effectively shoving him backwards. I love humiliating him. Xander winces but doesn’t try to move again.

“Stay.” I grin broadly.

My hand moves faster. Pulsating back and forth, my walls clench tight around the wet fingers I’m taunting him with. I swipe my clit with each oscillation, using my spare hand to roll my nipple.

“You get to stand there and watch me climax. That’s all you’re allowed.”

He breathes heavily. “Yes.”

“Watch me fall apart, Xan.”

“Yes.” The word sounds like a plea.

“Stand there and watch, knowing how much I love seeing you get a taste of your own medicine.”

“Fuck, Ripley… Yes.”

I’ve always sought out a quick fuck during my sexual manic episodes, but I still know how to get myself off. My pussy clamps tight around my fingers as my orgasm explodes through me.

Spine curving, I let my release take over. I’m trembling too hard to stop Xander from wrapping a hand around my ankle.

He’s focused on me—every shaky breath, the slippery warmth wetting my hand, my breasts shuddering as I pant for air, blood still leaking from my throat. I’ve become a filthy mess for him.

“My little toy likes to play games,” he purrs, releasing my ankle. “I suppose turnabout is fair play.”

Lowering my foot, I brace myself upright on my elbows to scrutinise him. His hand is wrapped firmly around his cock, pumping the veiny steel. It makes my mouth go dry.

“You’re damn right it’s fair.” I trace my tongue over my lips. “Now, why don’t you come here and fuck me?”

“I’m allowed to move now?” He quirks an eyebrow.

“Yes. But don’t push your luck.”

Xander prowls farther onto the bed. “Now, where’s the fun in that?”

I shuffle backwards so my head rests on the pillows. He kneels between my legs, his thigh muscles bulging. But he doesn’t move. The man hovers stiller than a statue and wears a goddamn smirk.

He scours every inch of me like he’s seeing me for the first time. Or perhaps seeing me differently now that our rivalry has been thrown into question. The wait for him to finally snap and take charge is excruciating.

“Xan…”

“Something you want? You seemed quite content to deny me and satisfy yourself a moment ago.”

Hissing, I stare up at the white ceiling. “You’re a fucking asshole.”

“As advertised.”

The air displaces around me as I feel his hands seize my body. I’m quickly flipped, so fast I’ve barely sucked in a shocked breath before my face hits the pillow.

Xander lifts my hips to pull my ass up high before white-hot pain crackles across my left butt cheek. The smack is hard and fast. Fiery tingles spread, bringing a surge of pleasure with them. When he hits me again on the other cheek, I can’t hold back a loud moan.

The constantly-shifting dynamic makes me feel raw and untethered. I know damn well that’s his intention. He wants all the control for himself. Despite all my bravado, I’m far too ready to give in.

“I want to fuck your beautiful little cunt while I hold your life in my hands,” he admits in a rough growl.

Twisted anticipation explodes through me.

“Yes,” I mewl. “Do it.”

Xander’s heated skin brushes against my pebbled nipples as he reaches behind me. Cool metal kisses the side of my neck, behind my jaw. I don’t need to see the knife to know that’s what it is.

Xander strokes my skin with the razor-sharp edge. “So beautiful.”

“I’m not afraid of you.” I stifle a groan.

“Maybe you should be.”

My body tightens as need pulses between my thighs.

“There are a great many arteries in the human neck,” he says conversationally. “Internal and external carotid. Jugular. Vital muscles and branches. So many fragilities.”

It shouldn’t turn me on to hear his unhinged musings. The man could end my life with a single slash. Once upon a time, I would’ve been sobbing in terror, convinced he’d do just that.

The pleasure spawns from knowing that he won’t. Not now. This Xander wants to hold my still-beating heart in his palm, just so he can put it back behind my ribcage with the memory of his touch.

It aggravates my healing bruises and injuries to be bent over, but the moment his fingers press against my slit, pain is overtaken by near-animalistic need. His finger swirls over my pussy in a cruel taunt.

“So wet,” Xander marvels before spanking me again, the jolt causing the knife to shift. “Is all that from putting on your clever little show?”

“Xan… Fuck.”

“Or is it the threat of death that gets you so wet?”

“Please, just…”

“Just what?” His palm crashes into my ass so hard, it rattles my bones.

Hiding my face in the pillow, I cry out. Each hit blends agony and ecstasy in an excruciatingly perfect way. I could climax from his punishing spanks alone, I’m so wound up.

Xander slides two fingers into me, stoking the furnace with each deliberate pump. I rock into his hand, desperately trying to relieve myself.

“You asked me to fuck you.” He tuts and withdraws them. “So behave.”

Fucking behave?

“This is how it’s going to work.” Xander inserts his fingers into me again and resumes pumping. “I’ll give you whatever broken excuse of a soul I have left. In exchange, I want you to make the pain inside me stop.”

Fisting the anti-ligature bedsheets, I want to scream at the top of my lungs. Beg him. Plead with him. Use his fucking pocketknife to carve out my heart and offer it to him on a silver platter if it means he’ll relent.

“How?” I gasp.

“By giving yourself to me. All of you.”

“I… I don’t know how.”

“You do. It goes like this.”

His fingers vanish, but before I can yell out in frustration, I feel his cock plunge into me. He doesn’t inch in with any grace or patience. Xander buries himself to the hilt and waits for me to scream out.

The moment I do, he withdraws then slams back home with a loud grunt. He’s blasting past my limits and fucking me as roughly as I’d hoped he would.

The room is filled with the sound of our bodies slapping together and my gasps each time his knife slices into me. Feeling every shallow nick is enough to keep the exhilarating danger ever-present. He knows exactly how to push my limits, and my body is addicted to the adrenaline rush.

Melting into a puddle of pure sensation, days of anxiety from watching our world erupt disappears. The fire he’s injecting into my veins becomes my whole existence.

Now I’m the one burning.

Happily.

And he can keep the fucking ashes.

Xander keeps me suspended on the edge of the highest cliff as he holds me at knife point, moaning with each flex of his hips. He pulls out almost to the point of withdrawal before surging back in each time.

When he spanks me again, the blow makes his length spasm inside me. We both groan at the same time, overwhelmed by the deep, penetrating vibrations that ignite every last nerve ending.

“You did this to me,” he accuses angrily. “You made me care, Ripley. You made me give a shit when no one else could. How?”

I’d laugh if I wasn’t terrified of slitting my own throat. Even like this, he’s hung up on where the true power lies. He has to be the most obsessive creature I’ve ever met.

“I don’t know,” I whisper.

Xander’s thrusts gain momentum, becoming deeper and rougher. “Neither do I. That’s what terrifies me—not knowing how this stupid, goddamn useless organ in my chest works.”

His heat pistoning into me abruptly disappears. I choke back a sob when the knife vanishes from my neck, totally overwhelmed by emotions. Relief. Frustration. The thrill is mind-boggling.

I’m on the verge of shouting at the sadistic son of a bitch when I’m flipped over. My back meets the bed, leaving me sprawled out in front of Xander.

Hovering over me, his sweat-dotted skin betrays how much his control has frayed. He can be passionate, but he was always clinical. There’s no sign of that cold fascination right now, though. Obsession, sure.

But it feels personal this time.

Hunger has overtaken him.

Raw, famished, cannibalistic hunger for all the emotion he’s never been allowed to feel. Every taut muscle shows how it’s overwhelming him. I place a hand on his chest, easing him backwards.

He lets me guide him until he’s on his back. Inelegantly manoeuvring myself on top, I ease the bloodied knife from his grip. He’s had his fun. Now I want to have mine.

Bracing one hand on his shoulder, I lift the other to my neck. Xander’s pupils blow wide as I collect the red spill, smearing it over my palm. His mouth falls open when I seize his cock, smothering it in my blood.

“I’ve given you all of me,” I tell him. “My submission. My trust. My life. Isn’t that proof enough that I want you?”

I guide his steel inside me. Xander’s eyes roll back in his head when I sink down fully, allowing his bloodstained cock to stretch my internal walls. The crimson lubricant creates a silky mess.

“Goddammit,” he hisses out. “Yes. It’s enough.”

“Then you will give yourself to me. Every day. I want this Xander by my side, not the detached man who felt no remorse for his actions.”

Adjusting, he leans back on his hands. “I’m scared, Rip.”

Part of me expected a fight, even wanted one. But I think I’m enjoying his vulnerability even more. The scales flipping back in my favour gives me an energy boost, numbing the pain from my aggravated injuries.

I begin to move, lifting my hips and pushing down on him in a steady beat. At this angle, he’s breaching me deeply, his cock nudging the sweet spot inside me.

“You should be scared,” I say between moans. “If I wanted to, I could take that stupid, goddamn useless organ and shred it to ribbons. But I won’t, Xan. You need to trust me.”

“I don’t… trust anyone,” he rasps.

“That’s the problem.” My nails dig into his shoulders, leaving crescent-shaped grooves. “Even if we can’t forgive or forget immediately, we can learn to trust.”

Riding him at an increasing pace, I batter my words into him with my body. We’re a sweaty mess of limbs, both nearing the edge. The orgasm that’s been slowly building is on the cusp of overwhelming me.

Xander drops a hand between us to find my clit. Extra sensitive, all it takes is one swipe through smeared blood to push me into the abyss. I throw my head back, calling his name.

His face buried in my neck, I can feel him finishing too. His body quakes beneath mine, and heat surges into me, creating an irreversible brand. Satisfying heat pulses through me as our essences mix.

The aftershocks continue, burst after burst, fireworks pulling at my skin. My entire body is weak and spent. It’s all I can do to collapse against Xander’s chest.

My head slumps onto his shoulder, too heavy to hold up. Warmth seeps between us as he catches his breath. Completely drained, we don’t move for a long time.

I can’t summon a protest when Xander lifts me from his lap to separate us. He lays me down on the bed then curls up beside me. Any hatred I had left dissipates when he lays his head on my stomach.

“Trust is hard for me,” he whispers faintly. “I’ve gotten this far alone.”

Stroking through his unkempt hair, the usually silky-soft strands are coarse, in need of a wash. My heart is still hammering relentlessly behind my rib cage. It feels as badly bruised as the rest of me.

“You’re not alone, Xan. You have Lennox and Raine.”

His palm splays across my belly, leaking warmth. “What about you?”

“I guess I’ve got this far by myself too.”

“You don’t have to anymore.”

“Don’t I?”

“You’re not alone now,” he explains drily.

“I still feel it. Even when I’m surrounded by people.”

“People like us?” Xander queries.

Uncertain, I lick my lips. “Sometimes.”

“Well, people care about you. And Raine… I don’t want to come between you two. He deserves happiness.”

I don’t dare speak, unnerved by this new, thoughtful Xander.

“And whether he’s ready to admit it or not, Lennox wants something from you too,” Xander muses tiredly. “You’ve managed to ensnare my entire family.”

“Should I be apologising for that?” I ask honestly.

His spearmint-scented breath licks my skin. “No. I think it will take all of us to escape what Incendia has planned next.”

“They won’t go down without a fight.” Trepidation crawls through me at the mere thought. “The gates will be blasted open soon enough.”

“I agree. When that time comes, we’ll need each other.”

He falls silent, seemingly lost in thought. Harsh reality is crashing into our post-sex bubble. Violence and threats still surround us on all sides as an invisible clock ticks down to the unknown.

“Perhaps we’re meant to be a fucked up family.” Xander trails his hand up and down my back. “Maybe that’s how we live.”

“Together?”

“Exactly,” he responds, tracing small circles with his fingertips. “Together.”

My heart balloons to absolute breaking point. I want to tell it to brush his exhausted comment off, but that damned, sticky hope can never release its clutches on me. No matter how hard I try.

Family.

Could he possibly mean that?

I’m not sure I even deserve one.