Burn Like An Angel (Harrowdean Manor #2)

8. Raine

CHAPTER 8

RAINE

SAID & DONE – BAD OMENS

My entire body is wracked with violent shaking as damp claws sink into me. I’m overwhelmed with sounds, tastes and smells. None of them good. It’s making it hard to focus on breathing through the nausea.

Mildew.

Old chlorine.

Floodwater.

Rotten wood.

Each individual scent helps me paint a picture of the place Ripley once brought me to. Only this time, the storm damage has worsened the swimming pool’s state of disuse.

“Nox,” I choke out.

“Coming. Shit, where are the pills?”

A scuffle betrays his frantic efforts to sort through our supplies. We weren’t able to grab much when we fled the medical wing. A horde of patients came searching for food, drugs or weapons. They weren’t exactly calm either.

Another burst of nausea causes pain to build behind my eyes. My stomach revolts, and it takes all my self-control to hold my meagre breakfast of stale cereal bars down. I can’t afford to waste the food we scrounged up.

“For fuck’s sake,” Lennox hisses, clearly in pain.

“Be careful. You’re still hurt. I can wait for Langley to get back.”

“You need your damn pills, Raine. You look like shit.”

I’d send him a glower if I knew where he was standing, searching through our two bags. I can hear his movements, but with all the dripping water and sporadic breezes, my spatial awareness is being thrown for a loop.

“Gee, thanks. You’re always so complimentary.”

“And you’re a fucking idiot for waiting this long to take your dose,” he hits back. “You know it takes the edge off the withdrawals.”

“I’m trying to ration the pills. They’re all I’ve got.”

Another worry to add to the ever-expanding list. The longer the riot drags on, the more desperate our situation is becoming. I had one bottle of pills prescribed by Doctor Hall when it all went to hell.

No refills.

Without the methadone to manage my withdrawals, I don’t want to consider what state I’ll be in. Getting clean from several years of opioid use won’t be an easy fix. I feel shitty enough even with the pills.

The sound of tablets clashing against plastic brings sharp relief. I hear Lennox’s faint aha before his slow footsteps approach. He’s up and moving but still in considerable pain, judging by his laboured breathing.

“Got them,” he announces. “We’ll find more.”

“Where from, Nox?”

“I don’t know, but we will,” he insists. “I’m not watching you suffer. We both know that going cold turkey could kill you without help.”

“But—”

“Take your fucking pills, Raine.”

I suppose it’s ironic, really.

I’m going through this self-inflicted torture to kick my addiction for the last time. But to do that, I’m dependent on a handful of synthetic pills. I can’t truly escape the power they still hold over me.

“Here, man.” Rough fingertips touch my hand where I’m crouched against the wall. “How many do you need?”

“I’ll do it. Pass them here.”

“You need water?” Lennox asks.

Nodding, I close my fist around the pill bottle dropped into my palm. Lennox shuffles away, still trying to hide his pained grunting, and quickly returns with the sound of crackling plastic.

“Thanks.”

“Yeah,” he acknowledges. “Please just tell me next time? You look paler than a ghost. I could’ve found the pills hours ago.”

Counting out my dose, I knock back the handful then let my head rest against the cold, cinder block wall. I doubt the pills will help my aggressive shivering. It’s freezing cold in here.

Langley went searching for the other two and more food. Ripley and Xander have been missing since she stormed out. In this strange, lawless period, two days is a lifetime.

“That dickhead has been gone all night.” Lennox loudly slumps back down. “You reckon some idiot’s captured him for ransom?”

“Don’t say that, Nox.”

“I mean, it’s possible. He is a guard.”

“Apparently not. What’s the deal with his… I dunno, colleague? The woman Ripley mentioned? Sounds like she works for these Sabre people.”

His breathing catches. It always does anytime the topic of the Z wing or their escape is broached. Lennox plays a good game, but I’ve learned to read his unconscious tells. What he saw down there has left its mark.

“I don’t know,” he deflects.

“What happened?”

Lennox shuffles on the hard floor. “Some pink-haired bitch pretending to work for Incendia was torturing me. Maintaining cover, I guess. She admitted she was undercover and offered to get us out.”

“Like… out of Harrowdean?” I enquire.

“Yeah. Ripley told her to leave us there.”

“Why?” Confusion sits heavy in my voice.

“She refused to run without me.” He clears his throat, sounding like he was barely able to utter the words.

I’d give anything to see his expression right now. To have even the smallest clue to the secret feelings he’s harbouring. I’ve long suspected there’s more to his hatred for Ripley, but recent events have made the situation ten times more complicated.

“That’s why she helped you escape.” I nod in understanding. “Ripley couldn’t leave you there to die.”

Lennox doesn’t respond.

“Because… she cares about you.”

Nothing but a sharp inhalation.

Come on, stubborn bastard.

“And you care about her,” I add.

He still won’t say it.

Not even to me.

Bizarrely, it frustrates me more than it angers me. I’m not even jealous. I just want him to admit it. Until then, we can’t make any decisions on how to proceed.

“You can’t avoid this conversation forever, Nox. Like it or not, the three of us are in neck-deep with this girl. I need to know where you stand.”

“I…” He pauses. “Don’t know.”

“You don’t know?”

“Ripley and I… It’s complicated.”

“You don’t say,” I mutter sarcastically.

“I know, alright?” he snaps in exasperation. “We’ve spent months trying to kill each other, for fuck’s sake. Then in the basement… Well, things changed. Now I’m fucking lost.”

“What does that mean, exactly?”

“I don’t know!” Lennox exclaims. “What’s with the third degree?”

“Oh, I don’t know. May have something to do with the fact you tried to kill the woman I’m in love with! Did that ever cross your mind?”

My words drop with the impact equivalent to a street-level explosion, holding the power to blow our entire lives apart. I can feel them reverberating in the chlorinated air as my confession lingers.

“You love her,” he deadpans.

My throat aches with unspoken emotion. “I wouldn’t get clean for just anyone, Nox. I want a future. One with Ripley in it.”

The sound of his teeth grinding is a loud bullet in the silence. “Does she know?”

“It’s complicated,” I throw his words back at him. “She made it clear we were just casual for a long time. Then everything happened… Now I’m not so sure what we are.”

“And the fact that Xander’s got some fucked up claim on the woman you apparently love doesn’t bother you?”

“Does it bother you?” I counter.

Teeth grinding. A sharp breath. More grinding.

“Who Ripley chooses to spread her legs for is none of my concern,” Lennox replies flatly. “And frankly, she can do whatever the fuck she wants.”

“Right. Because you don’t care.”

“Right,” he repeats.

For all his fierce loyalty and commitment to his family, Lennox can be a thick-skulled bastard. This ridiculous denial phase is doing none of us any favours.

“I have no idea what your problem is, but you need to figure it out. Fast.” I take another drink from the plastic water bottle. “I won’t stand for you hurting Ripley ever again.”

“If I wanted her dead, she would be,” he says ominously. “We made it out of that wing together.”

“Then fucking get over yourself!”

I want to get up and storm far away from him, but even if I could see to navigate the destruction we’re hiding in, I doubt my shaking legs would hold me. The pills haven’t kicked in yet.

Instead, I rest against the wall, focusing on anything but the pain fracturing my skull in two. I’d kill for a line right now. Even a single hit. Enough to take the edge off.

The awkward silence wraps around me like a blanket as Lennox stews. I have no concept of what time it is. The sharp hunger pains intermingling with my constant nausea are the only indications that several hours have passed.

Slipping into a trance-like state of deep concentration in an effort to manage my sickness, I startle back to reality when a loud bang permeates the building. Lennox curses, disturbing something as he moves.

“We’ve got company,” he announces.

“Nobody knows about this place but us.”

“Maybe that asshole Langley has given up searching?”

“Doesn’t seem likely,” I reply worriedly. “He was determined.”

Bracing myself on the floor, I try to push myself up. I feel a little stronger though still shaky and weak. My spine doesn’t leave the wall as I slide upright, trembling like a leaf.

Distinct footsteps are growing closer. Multiple pairs. Hope flares in my chest, but the very real possibility that more unruly patients looking to pick a fight have found us is acute.

“Just give them what they want,” I whisper-shout. “You can’t fight anyone off with one working hand, Nox.”

“No one is stealing our shit. I’ll crack their spines first.”

“It doesn’t matter!”

Between the two of us, one injured and one barely able to stand, we can’t put up much of a fight if people are here searching for supplies. That’s precisely why we abandoned the safety of the medical wing.

A resounding voice ends our bickering.

“You could’ve left a damn note!”

“A note? Seriously?”

“Well, I don’t know! Anything but vanishing!”

The voices quickly burst the fearful balloon that’s expanded inside me. Part of me was terrified I’d never hear her razor-sharp tongue chewing someone out ever again.

“It’s them,” I breathe out, letting myself slump in relief.

Lennox sighs, though I can’t hear him moving to greet the others. The voices are nearing, exchanging heated whispers. Langley, Ripley and Xander. They’re all safe. Thank fuck.

The door to the swimming pool slamming open announces their return. Taking a deep breath in, I feel myself smile. Papaya. The tropical fruitiness is like a homing beacon guiding me back to her.

“Raine!”

I could collapse from relief. “Guava girl.”

“Did you show them my secret hiding place?”

Her rapid steps magnetise her to me. The familiar scent I’ve come to know and adore envelopes me as Ripley pulls me into her arms. I snuggle into her chest, getting a face full of fruity curls, but I couldn’t be happier.

“Nah,” I murmur.

“So how did you find your way back?”

“My idea,” Lennox rumbles from far-off.

“I should’ve known,” Ripley mutters acidly.

Squeezing me tight enough to ache, I feel Ripley running her hands all over me. Two small hands cup my cheeks, bringing warmth to my cold, clammy skin. She feels like a blissful furnace.

“You’re pale and sweaty,” she worries. “Withdrawals?”

“I’m fine, Rip.”

“Nothing about you looks fine. Aren’t you taking the pills Doctor Hall prescribed?”

“Under protest,” Lennox supplies. “He looks better now than he did a few hours ago.”

“Raine! You have to take them.”

“I forced them down him,” Lennox adds.

“Good.” Ripley squeezes my hand.

I’m not sure how I feel about being the only thing these two agree on right now.

Using the memory of Ripley’s body, I eventually find her jaw and begin searching it with my fingertips. Her face still feels swollen and a little hot to touch. My fingers coast over her neck, stopping when I feel several crusted cuts on her skin.

“What are these?” I ask, panic riding me hard. “Are you hurt?”

“It’s nothing,” she rushes to assure me. “I was coming back to find you guys when I found Xander. We holed up overnight to rest.”

Oh.

Perhaps I shouldn’t pull at that thread. I’m not about to judge how the pair sort their shit out as long as she… erm, consents. Then it’s fair game, I suppose. Ripley is her own woman.

The sound of huffing follows something heavy hitting the floor.

“You lot were supposed to stay put.”

I jolt at the sound of Xander’s voice. “We had no choice.”

“Let’s agree not to split up again,” Xander suggests.

A throat clears. Langley. “Well, about that.”

Pulling away from me, I sense Ripley turn around to face the others. I snag hold of her t-shirt to keep her within touching distance.

“What does that mean?” she asks suspiciously.

“I need to re-establish communication with my team,” Langley explains. “My mobile phone was in the staff lockers when the riot broke out. If it’s still charged, I can use it to contact the others.”

“Why didn’t you check while you were out searching?” Xander asks.

“Because I was preoccupied by looking for you two,” he claps back. “I do have priorities.”

Xander has the good sense to stifle any response.

“Sabre can tell us what’s unfolding outside,” Langley continues. “We need to know when the authorities will move in. Perhaps we can still cut a deal.”

“Perhaps?” Ripley barks. “You made that sound like my only option!”

“It is, Rip.”

“Like hell it is.”

“Look, I can’t keep you safe if I’m hiding here, waiting for the fucking SWAT team to move in and start handcuffing everyone to be shipped off. It needs to be done now.”

“You can’t go out there.” Ripley attempts to pull away from me.

Tugging her t-shirt again, I haul her back to my front. I can feel her trembling in the pointed nodes of her spine. Regardless of her anger, Ripley does care for Langley. And right now, guards are far more at risk than any of us.

“I have no choice,” he justifies. “And I can take care of myself.”

“What if you’re taken hostage too? You didn’t see Rick out there. He was waving around a stolen gun like a lunatic and threatening to shoot! This is serious!”

“Out where?” Lennox chimes in.

Ripley vibrates with a long sigh. “There were journalists outside the gate, filming us all. I watched Rick parade the guards out to make his demands to the world.”

“Rick won’t be making any demands for a while.” Xander’s tone belies a hint of pride. “Though I wish it were permanent.”

“Don’t pretend you beat the shit out of him to stop the riot,” Ripley challenges. “He was unconscious at your feet before you found me.”

“You’re right,” he submits without hesitation. “That’s not why I did it.”

Xander’s reply is silky smooth. Utterly shameless. Judging by Ripley’s sharp breath in, a hell of a lot more happened while they were resting . I’m weirdly satisfied by Xander’s clear possessiveness.

The more people looking out for Ripley, the better. Having Xander on her side is the equivalent of having a fanatical cult running headfirst into war for you. He’ll do anything to defend those he deems worthy.

“The point is,” Langley draws the conversation back to him. “If I can make arrangements with my team, we can find a way out of here.”

Chuffing rudely, I can almost taste Lennox’s mistrust. But Ripley doesn’t give him a chance to speak for her.

She presses herself into me, seeking reassurance. “It can’t go on for much longer. Something has to give.”

“All the more reason for me to go now,” Langley argues. “While we still have a chance.”

“What would a deal entail?” Xander queries.

“Full cooperation in exchange for protection. You know we’ve done it with other inmates. If Incendia moves in first, I can guarantee that you will all disappear.”

Wrapping my arms around Ripley’s midsection, I hold her close. She’s in their firing line, but Xander and Lennox aren’t exactly innocent either. Hell, I’ll be guilty by association. We’ll all be erased.

“Go then,” Ripley whispers.

“Rip—”

“No.” She speaks over me, her voice gaining volume. “Go make contact. We’ll wait here. But I want protection for everyone—Xander, Lennox and Raine. I’m not doing this without them.”

Not even Lennox has a comment to make as he processes her words. The magnitude of her request keeps them both trapped in silence.

“I never should’ve viewed you as a mark to be flipped,” Langley says in a low voice, footsteps coming towards us. “I’m sorry for that. I’ll make this right, Rip. I promise.”

“You were doing your job,” she eventually replies. “Just like I was doing mine.”

“That doesn’t make what I’ve done right.”

“Well, me neither. But we all make mistakes.” She pulls free from my arms. “Please be safe.”

From the ruffling of fabric, I think they embrace. Ripley steps back into me shortly after as Langley clears his throat.

“There’s something else,” he begins with a hint of uncertainty. “I guess the time for disguises is over, right?”

“Langley? What is it?”

“That’s not my name.” His feet retreat, crunching over debris. “My name is Warner. You deserve to know that.”

Bombshell dropped, he hastily leaves. The silence stretches on until the sound of the exit door slamming shut breaks it. Ripley is leaning so heavily into me, I wonder how she’s upright at all.

“What now?” Ripley murmurs.

“Now we wait. And try not to die.”

“Fuck,” she whispers back.

Yep. Fuck indeed.