Cabin Fever With My First Flame (Sweet Christmas Kisses)

14. Finn

Chapter fourteen

Finn

I keep glancing in the direction of the hallway, hoping that Bailey will come out and join us. Telling two teenagers how much I’ve missed Bailey and that leaving her was the worst mistake I ever made isn’t exactly how I planned on spending my evening. My only hope is that they can learn something from my experience.

Ella gives me a hug. “Finn, I know my mom better than anyone. I’m practically her ‘mini-me.’ I know how she thinks and how she operates. If you really want to pick up where you left off, then you are going to have to show her you are in it to win it.”

“Bailey isn’t a prize, and I don’t want to pick up where we left off,” I tell Ella. My eyes dart between both of the teens as I explain, “If Bailey is willing to give me a second chance, then I want to start over and create something new. Life has changed and shaped us into who we are today, which isn’t two teenagers ignorant of the world around them. If Bailey and I decide to date one another, then we are going to have to get to know each other all over again.”

Micah grins from his perch on the recliner. “You’re such a sap, Finn. It’s cute.”

Ella giggles. “Micah, we use the term ‘cinnamon roll’ when it comes to people like Finn. It means they’re all ooey-gooey and sicky sweet.”

I lift one shoulder. “Ella, your mom deserves sweet. She always has.”

Ella’s smile turns upside down. “My dad wasn’t really the ‘sweet’ kind of guy.” When Ella sees my scowl in response, she raises her hands to placate me. “He wasn’t mean or anything, Finn. He just didn’t give out hugs freely or say ‘I love you’ nearly enough. I don’t ever recall my dad bringing home flowers for mom ‘just because’ or even chocolate on Valentine’s Day. You did more for her in the last 24 hours than my dad has done in the last 24 months. I bet Mom cried when you made her a hot bath.”

I don’t confirm or deny Ella’s assertion. I glance down the hall, getting worried that Bailey may have fallen asleep in the tub. It’s been nearly two hours. “Ella, can you go check on your mom? I know I told her to take all the time she needs, but…”

“Sure.” Ella leaves and returns less than a minute later with a pile of dirty clothes in her hand. “Um, Finn? Do you have somewhere else you can sleep tonight?”

My eyebrow arches up, and I look at Ella with a perplexed expression. “Why?”

Ella glances over her shoulder down the hall. “My mom must have thought your bed was more comfortable than Micah’s because she’s fast asleep. Trying to wake her is like trying to wake the dead.”

I rub my face and glance over at Micah. He points at me and says, “You’ve already relegated me to the couch. If you want to sleep out here, you get the recliner. This way, your head is in an upright position, and I don’t have to listen to you snore.”

“I don’t snore,” I argue.

Ella cocks her hip and her head. “How would you know?”

“You totally snore, Finn,” Micah says adamantly. “It’s so bad that I think you should get tested for sleep apnea. Then you can look like Mr. Snuffleupagus and sound like Darth Vader.” He makes the Darth Vader breathing sounds and then mimics, “Luuuke…I am your fah-tha.”

I throw a couch pillow at his head as I get up to grab a change of clothes and an extra blanket. “You are definitely your mother’s child.”

I tiptoe down the hallway, praying I don’t wake Bailey up with the creak of the floorboards. When I enter the room, Bailey is right where Ella warned me that she would be. Bailey is curled up on my bed with her hands tucked up under her cheek. I gently tuck a wisp of hair behind her ear and kiss her temple. I whisper, “Sleep well, my fair princess.”

Early the next morning, I briefly stir when a warm body curls up beside me on the recliner. Ava nestles in next to me and makes herself at home. Without a moment’s thought, I cover her with a blanket before wrapping my arms around her and tucking her head under my chin. I fall back asleep only to wake up to eyes boring into me like laser beams.

Bailey stands over me with her hands on her hips. She whispers so as not to wake Ava or Micah, “What are you doing, Finn?”

“Sleeping. At least, I was trying to.”

“I meant, why is my daughter cuddled up next to you?” she asks.

I close my eyes and turn my head away. “Ask her when she wakes up. What time is it, anyway?”

“It’s almost five,” Bailey retorts.

I groan. “Give me another hour, please. I need my handsome sleep.”

“Handsome sleep? What the heck is that?”

Micah pulls a sofa pillow over his head. “It’s the male version of ‘beauty sleep.’ I’d like to get some, too, if you don’t mind.”

“Sorry, Micah,” Bailey whispers. Then she turns to me, “We will talk about this later.”

Half an hour later and unable to go back to sleep, I scoot out from underneath Ava and leave her curled up peacefully on the recliner. I check both Micah’s room and mine, looking for Bailey, but she’s not there.

I head to the basement and find her bent over the washing machine with her feet kicking wildly in the air as she digs out the remaining few socks that are stuck on the bottom. She grumbles, “Why couldn’t Finn have a front loader? Doesn’t he realize that some of us are vertically challenged and not everyone is as tall and beefy as he is?”

I chuckle. “There’s a step stool next to the washer, Bailey.”

“Oh, Finn. You’re up,” she says, blowing away the loose tendrils of blonde hair that have fallen in her face.

“It was hard to go back to sleep after your 5:00 a.m. wake-up call. Usually, if I’m woken up at that hour, it’s to a fire alarm or medical emergency. What was your emergency that we need to discuss?”

She throws the last few articles of clothing into the dryer and turns it on before jumping up and planting her butt on top. “I wanted to talk to you about Ava snuggling up with you and what it means.”

I fold my arms across my chest and lean my back against the wall. “And what does it mean, Bailey?”

“Ava doesn’t snuggle up with just anyone, Finn. She snuggles up with people she loves and trusts.”

“I’m trying to see how that’s a problem, Bailey. Isn’t it a good thing that Ava doesn’t think I’m a serial killer? Although I have been known to destroy a box of Cocoa Puffs in one sitting.”

Bailey huffs. “This isn’t a joke, Finn. It’s been two days, and Ava is already getting attached to you.”

“How is that bad, Bailey? It’s a small town, and having people who adore her is a positive in my book. Having people in her corner is always a good thing.”

“Until they’re not! Then her heart will be broken because she won’t understand why she was abandoned, and she’ll spend years questioning her own self-worth, Finn.”

I move slowly from my perch on the wall and stalk toward Bailey, who, by the way, looks adorable in my shirt and sweatpants. I cage her in and invade her comfort bubble, placing a hand on each side of her. My voice deepens when I confront the truth of what she’s trying to say.

“This isn’t about Ava, is it? I think you’re getting attached to me, and that scares you.”

Bailey lowers her eyes and stares at her dangling feet. “It terrifies me, Finn. When I decided to move back here with the girls, I wasn’t given any warning that you had returned. If I had, I may have chosen to start over somewhere else. Forgiving you doesn’t mean I can forget what happened between us. Gah! Loving you was so easy, but getting over you was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. It’s why Daniel and I moved away. He knew that everywhere was a reminder of what you and I had shared.”

I tuck a strand of hair behind Bailey’s ear and stroke her cheek gently with my calloused thumb. “I’m not going anywhere, Bailey. You don’t have to worry about me abandoning you or the girls. You don’t have to question your self-worth, and I’m truly sorry that my actions caused you ever to do that in the first place. If you give me the chance, I’ll prove it to you. I’ll prove that you are worth walking through fire for.”

Bailey puts her hand on my heart and subtly shakes her head. “You’ve made those promises to me before. Did you make the same promises to Micah’s, Isaac’s, and Jonah’s mother?”

“What?”

“I overheard your conversation last night with Ella and Micah. You told Micah that you left his mother for fear of rejection but that you still love her and miss her every day,” Bailey says. “For Pete’s sake, the boys call you ‘Finn’ and not ‘Dad.’”

I palm my face as I think about all the conversations about the boys’ mother since we rescued Bailey and the girls from the snowstorm. Not once did Jenny’s name come up. I just assumed that Bailey knew who their mother was. I start cackling uncontrollably at the absurdity of this whole situation. “You have…it...so wrong…Bailey,” I say, doubled over in amusement.

I wipe the tears from my eyes and regain a modicum of control. “If anyone would find humor in this situation, it would be the boys’ mother. Micah, Isaac, and Jonah are my nephews —not my children, Bailey. After their father died six years ago fighting a fire, Jenny changed her will to make me their guardian should anything happen to her.”

It hits her that it’s my sister who passed away. “I’m so sorry, Finn. I had no idea that Jenny was their mom or that she passed away. Micah is the spitting image of you, and I assumed….”

The smile disappears from my face in an instant. “You assumed that I would abandon my family as I had you, and I didn’t give you any reason to believe otherwise. But that’s not who I am, Bailey. I’m as committed as they come, which is why I haven’t loved anyone else. You’ve always been it for me.”

“What are you saying, Finn?”

I lean forward and brush my lips against hers in a soft but chaste kiss. But once I’ve had a taste, there is no going back. I press my lips firmly to hers as my fingers grip the dryer rather than roam her body like I want to. She tilts her head and invites me in by parting her lips slightly before her hand slides around my neck as she deepens the kiss even further. When her ankle slides around my calf, I realize that we are getting carried away and pull back. I need to lay all my cards on the table so that she knows exactly where I stand.

“I’ve never stopped loving you, Bailey Bug,” I say, nipping at her bottom lip. “You’ve always been my forever, even if you gave up believing I’m yours.”