Caged By the Lich

23. Astrid

23

ASTRID

I got the note out to Athena days ago, before I knew this was going to happen. My stomach was twisted in knots when I left Olvaar's room, worried he would want me to stay.

And now, guilt is burning through me. Is he going to feel betrayed? Does he know that I'm not trying to get away anymore? I told him I didn't think I wanted to leave, but I'm not sure if he'll feel that way after this.

I pace nervously along the winding path, my fingers tracing the delicate petals of blood-red roses. The garden's eerie beauty does nothing to calm my frayed nerves. Any moment now, Athena could appear. And I'm a tangled mess of feelings.

But as I wait, the guilt gnaws at my insides, new layers adding to it. What would Ahena think if she knew? If she could see inside my traitorous heart? I've given in to the very demon who tore me from our family. Worse, I've started to care for him.

My cheeks burn with shame as I remember Olvaar's touch, his kiss. How could I let myself fall for him? After everything he's done?

But then I also think about how right it felt. He gave me…everything. And his eyes boring into mine as he swore he would do just that, that he'd give up his title and anything else for me… How could I regret it?

I don't. I told him I wouldn't, and I don't. I feel a little guilty now that I have to face my sister, but there's no doubt I'd make the same choice time and time again.

I wonder if Olvaar knows that I'm here. That Athen will be coming here. Of course he does. He always knows. Or he'll at least find out.

Part of me wonders if he'll burst in at any moment, furious at my deception. But another part... another part hopes he understands. That he'll give me this moment with my sister.

I sink onto a nearby bench, head in my hands. What am I doing? I'm caught between two worlds now - my old life with my family, and this new existence with Olvaar. I don't know how to reconcile them. I don't know if I can.

A flash of movement catches my eye, and my heart leaps into my throat. Stepping between the bushes where a small hole in the wall is is my little sister, looking both familiar and strange all at once. Her golden curls are wilder than I remember, her face thinner. But those eyes - they're the same warm, golden-green that have always been my anchor.

"Thena," I breathe, barely audible.

She turns, spots me, and for a heartbeat we're both frozen. Then we're running, colliding in a tangle of limbs and tears.

"Astrid!" Athena sobs, clinging to me like I might disappear. "Oh gods, I've missed you so much."

I can't speak, can barely breathe through the lump in my throat. I just hold her tighter, burying my face in her hair. She smells like home - like the lavender soap we used to make together, like summer nights and shared secrets.

We sink to the ground, neither willing to let go. I don't know how long we stay like that, crying and laughing in turns. Finally, Athena pulls back just enough to study my face.

"Are you okay?" she asks, her voice thick with worry. "Has he hurt you?"

The guilt I've been trying to ignore crashes over me. I shake my head, unable to meet her eyes. "No, Thena. I'm... I'm fine."

She doesn't look convinced. "Father's been so worried. We all have. He's... he's not well, Astrid. The stress, the political fallout from your abduction - it's taking a toll on him."

My stomach twists. "How bad is it?"

Athena's eyes fill with fresh tears. "Bad. He's aged years in just these few months. And the other demon lords, they're circling like vultures. Now that V-" I hate the way she spits his name. "Have made the others think he's weak... Father's struggling to keep everything together."

Each word is like a dagger to my heart. I've been here, safe and... and falling for Olvaar, while my family suffers. The guilt threatens to choke me.

"I'm so sorry," I whisper, though the words feel woefully inadequate. "I never meant for any of this to happen."

Athena squeezes my hand. "It's not your fault. That monster took you. We just... we need you home, Astrid. Father needs you. Can you escape? I can help-"

I cut her off, panic rising in my chest. "No! I mean... it's complicated, Thena. I can't just leave."

She pulls back, her brows furrowing. "What do you mean you 'can't just leave'? I get that he won't let you, but I can help you escape. I'm not saying ask him."

I take a deep breath, steeling myself for the conversation I never thought I'd have. "Thena, it's... it's not that simple. I can't just leave because..." I trail off, struggling to find the right words.

Athena cocks her head, clearly confused. "Why not? What's holding you here?"

Her innocent question breaks something inside me. The dam I've built around my feelings crumbles, and suddenly, I can't stop the words from pouring out.

"It's Olvaar," I confess, my voice barely above a whisper. "I... I have feelings for him."

Athena's eyes widen in shock. "What? Astrid, he kidnapped you! He's our enemy!"

"I know, I know," I say, running a hand through my hair. "Trust me, I've told myself that a thousand times. But it's not that simple anymore. He's... changed. Or maybe I've changed. I don't know."

I look at my sister, pleading for understanding. "At first, I hated him. I was so angry, so scared. But then... things started to shift. He began to include me in his work, to value my opinion. I saw a different side of him, Thena. He's not just the monster we thought he was."

Athena listens, her expression a mix of concern and growing comprehension. I can see she's trying to reconcile the sister she knew with the woman sitting before her now.

"I didn't mean for it to happen," I continue, my voice thick with emotion. "But somewhere along the way, I started to care for him." Fuck, I think I love him, but I'm not telling my sister that. I'll keep that buried down with the great sex we've had. "And I think... I think he cares for me too. It's more than just political maneuvering now. It's real."

I look down at my hands, twisting in my lap. "I know it sounds crazy. I know you probably think I've lost my mind. But being here, seeing a different side of demon society, working alongside Olvaar... it's changed me, Thena. I'm not the same person I was when I left home."

When I finally gather the courage to meet Athena's gaze again, I'm surprised to see not judgment, but a glimmer of understanding in her eyes.

Athena's eyes soften as she sees the turmoil written across my face. She squeezes my hands gently, her touch a balm to my frayed nerves.

"It's okay, Astrid," she murmurs, her voice soothing. "I can see you're struggling with this. I won't pretend to understand everything, but I can see how much you're hurting." She gives me a small smile. "And I can tell you're different. If you say he's different…Well, I can tell your feelings are genuine."

I feel tears pricking at the corners of my eyes. "I'm so sorry, Thena. I never meant for any of this to happen."

She shakes her head, pulling me into another hug. "Don't apologize. You didn't ask for this situation. I'm just glad I got to talk to you this time."

Her words make me cringe as I remember how Olvaar kept Athena away before. The guilt gnaws at me anew, knowing how much that must have hurt my sister.

"I won't tell anyone I was here," Athena says, pulling back to look me in the eye. "It's clear you have a lot to think through, and I don't want to make things harder for you."

Relief washes over me, mingled with a fresh wave of love for my sister. "Thank you, Thena. I don't deserve you."

She smiles, but I can see the sadness in her eyes. "You're my sister. I'll always be here for you, no matter what." All too soon, Athena glances at the sky, her expression turning anxious. "But I have to go," she says reluctantly. "Father will notice if I'm missing for too long."

My heart sinks. I don't want her to leave, but I know she's right. "Of course," I say, trying to keep the disappointment out of my voice. "You should go."

We stand, embracing one last time. As I hold my sister close, I'm hit with a fresh wave of guilt. I've put her in an impossible position, torn between loyalty to our father and protecting my secret. I wish our whole situation could be easier, that there was some way to reconcile my old life with my new one.

But as she leaves, I have no yearning to go with her.

And I think that tells me everything I need to know.