Caged By the Lich

24. Olvaar

24

OLVAAR

" Y ou're sure?" I ask, though I have never doubted my spymaster before.

Malakai is too busy cleaning his nails with a knife to look up at me. "Positive."

Astrid had a secret meeting in the gardens with her sister. After I spared Athena and gave her a warning, she came back. Is she planning on helping Astrid escape?

A growl tears through me. As if there's anywhere on this planet — or others — that she could go that I wouldn't follow. I will do anything to keep Astrid right where she belongs.

With me.

My chest heaves as I struggle to contain the rage boiling within me. How could she? After everything we've shared, after I bared my fucking soul to her. I told her I'd give up everything for her.

It slams into me. I bared my soul to her. I confessed everything but that I love her. And all she said was that she wanted me. I didn't question it at the time, but was it just a physical ache?

Did she get me out of her system and is ready to move on?

The thought sends me into a spiral. I grab the nearest object – a priceless vase – and smash it against the wall. The crash is satisfying, but it does little to quell the storm inside me.

Is this what weakness feels like? This gnawing doubt, this fear that claws at my insides? I've never felt so out of control, so... human.

I want to confront her, to demand answers. To shake her until she understands what she's doing to me. But I can't. The thought of seeing betrayal in those green-gold eyes – it's more than I can bear.

So I watch. I have my spies report her every move, every expression. I analyze each detail, searching for signs of deceit, of plans to escape. The doubt and anger are driving me to the brink of madness.

During meetings, I catch myself staring at her, trying to decipher the thoughts behind those enigmatic eyes. Does she regret our night together? Was it just a way to lower my guard?

The jealousy burns hot in my veins. The thought of her plotting with Athena, of choosing her family over me – it's almost more than I can stand. I've never been a man who shares, and I'm not about to start now.

But still, I don't confront her. I can't bring myself to shatter this fragile thing between us, even as I feel it slipping through my fingers like sand.

I pace the length of my study, my agitation growing with each step. The walls feel like they're closing in, suffocating me with doubts and fears I've never experienced before.

"V?" Malakai's voice rips me from my thoughts. "If it helps, she wasn't here long. Maybe you should just as?—"

"Out!" I roar, my eyes flashing dangerously.

Malakai huffs but stands to leave. He knows better than to push me when I'm like this.

I run a hand through my hair, trying to regain some semblance of control. But thoughts of Astrid invade my mind, driving me to distraction. One moment, I want to lock her away where no one else can see her. The next, I can barely stand to be in the same room, afraid my weakness will show.

During a council meeting, I find myself snapping at anyone who dares mention her name. "Astrid is none of your concern," I snarl, silencing the room. But moments later, I'm demanding updates on her activities, my voice thick with barely concealed need.

I catch Astrid watching me, confusion and hurt evident in those captivating eyes. Part of me wants to go to her, to explain, to beg for understanding. But the demon in me, the part that's ruled and hardened, recoils at the thought of such vulnerability.

So I retreat to my chambers, barking orders for no one to disturb me. I pour myself a drink, downing it in one gulp as I try to drown out the chaos in my head. The glass shatters in my grip, blood mixing with the spilled liquor.

I stare at the crimson drops, a bitter laugh escaping me. How fitting. I, who have spilled oceans of blood without remorse, am now undone by a single human woman.

I can't take it anymore. I'm on the edge, and all thought flies out of my head as I realize I need fucking answers. So I head to find some.

I storm into Astrid's chambers, my rage barely contained. She looks up, startled, those green-gold eyes widening as she takes in my thunderous expression.

"What the fuck were you thinking?" I snarl, slamming the door behind me.

Astrid stands, her brows pinching together. "What are you talking about?"

I almost wish she would fight me back. Why does she look understanding?

"Don't play dumb with me," I growl, closing the distance between us. "Your little garden rendezvous with Athena. Did you think I wouldn't find out?"

A flash of guilt crosses her face before it hardens. "I wasn't aware I needed your permission to see my own sister."

Her words cut deep, fueling the fire of my anger and insecurity. "Permission? Is that what you think this is about? Fuck, Astrid, I thought we were past this!"

"Past what, exactly?" she snaps back. "You keeping me prisoner? Because last time I checked, that's still exactly what I am!"

I run a hand through my hair, frustration mounting. "Is that really how you see it? After…everything?"

"I don't know what to think anymore, V," Astrid says, her voice wavering. "One minute you're telling me you'd give up everything for me, the next you're avoiding me like the plague."

Her words hit me like a physical blow. I turn away, struggling to maintain my composure. "And you? Are you planning your great escape with Athena? Ready to run back to daddy dearest?"

Astrid's sharp intake of breath tells me I've struck a nerve. "How dare you," she hisses. "You have no idea what I'm going through."

I whirl back to face her, my eyes blazing. "Then enlighten me! Because from where I'm standing, it looks like you got what you wanted and now you're ready to bail."

"What I wanted?" Astrid's voice rises, matching my intensity. "You think this is what I wanted? To fall for the demon who kidnapped me? To betray everything I've ever known?"

Her admission stuns me into silence. She continues, her words pouring out in a rush. "Do you have any idea how hard this is for me? I'm torn between two worlds. I can't just forget where I came from, who I am!"

"And who are you, Astrid?" I demand, stepping closer. "Because the woman I've come to know, to... care for, she's not just Ilreth's daughter. She's so much more than that."

Astrid's eyes shine with unshed tears. "I don't know who I am anymore," she whispers. "All I know is that I can't lose my family, but I can't lose you either."

I feel the anger draining from my body, replaced by a bone-deep weariness. Astrid's words echo in my mind, her pain and confusion mirroring my own. I take a deep breath, trying to calm the storm of emotions raging inside me.

"Astrid," I say, my voice softer now. "I... I'm sorry. I didn't realize how difficult this has been for you."

She looks up at me, surprise evident in those captivating eyes. "You're... apologizing?"

I run a hand through my hair, frustrated with my own inability to express myself. "Yeah, I guess I am. Look, I'm not good at this. Feelings... it's not exactly part of the demon lord handbook."

A small smile tugs at her lips. "I've noticed."

I move closer, reaching out to grip her chin and tilt her face up to mine. Her scent wraps around me, cooling the rest of my temper, and her hands slide up to my chest. It seems I'm not the only one that needs the connection.

"I meant what I said before. I would give up everything for you. But I realize now that I've been asking you to give up everything for me without offering the same in return."

She leans closer to me. "What are you saying?"

I take a deep breath, steeling myself for what I'm about to offer. "I'm saying that I trust you, Astrid. And I want to prove it. From now on, you're free to communicate with your family. No more secrets, no more sneaking around."

Her eyes widen in disbelief. "Really? You'd let me do that?"

I nod, my heart pounding. "Yes. I can't ask you to choose between your family and me. It's not fair. And I... I don't want to lose you either."

Tears well up in Astrid's eyes, and before I know it, she's thrown her arms around me. I freeze for a moment, unused to such open displays of affection, before slowly wrapping my arms around her.

"Thank you," she whispers against my chest. "You have no idea what this means to me."

I hold her tighter, marveling at how right it feels to have her in my arms. "I think I'm starting to understand." Gods, I am fucked. "Just please don't leave my estate, okay? It's not safe right now."

She pulls back, looking up at me. Her gaze assesses me, her hands still locked behind my neck, and the tension starts to build. "I don't want to be anywhere else."

The words soothe the jagged emotions that have been slicing me up inside. I lower my head to hers, and Astrid meets me halfway, kissing me back with equal fervor.

This time, when I walk her backward to her bed, I use her body to apologize, not punish. I fuck her with my tongue until she screams and then I let her ride me until she's gushing all over me, begging me to fill her.

And as she falls asleep in my arms, all I hear are those words.

I don't want to be anywhere else.

I really want to believe them. But Kaz was right. There's only one way for me to know.