Calamity Rayne Knocked Up (Calamity Rayne #4)

8. A Truth for a Truth

A Truth for a Truth

A s soon as I walked into the penthouse, I tossed my purse onto the table and barked at Hale, “I’m taking a bath.”

Five minutes later, I was stewing in a steaming tub of irritation and denial. Not only was I pissed off about him throwing me under the bus, I forgot my damn book downstairs, and I was at a good part. Normally, I would just call Hale and ask him to bring it to me—which he would—but there was no way I was asking anything of him now.

“Rayne.” Hale barged in to the bathroom.

“Ever hear of knocking?” I slunk below the bubbles, rolling my eyes .

“Let’s get one thing straight, a door will never keep me from you.”

“Oh, really? Will this work? Go. Away.”

“My flight leaves in two hours. We should talk.”

“I think we said enough.”

He dragged the vanity chair closer to the tub and sat down, staring at me for a long moment. “You can’t deny that he puts too much stress on you.”

“I’m his personal assistant, Hale. It’s a twenty-four-seven responsibility. And what does it matter, if I don’t mind doing it?”

“I mind.”

The room temperature dropped several degrees as the air between us chilled. I’d always suspected he minded, but he never admitted it. In fact, he denied it.

“Well, that’s new.”

“No, it’s not. I’ve tried to be supportive, but he’s only become more intrusive. Now, it’s literally impacting our family life.”

“Oh, bullshit.”

“Rayne, the doctor said?—”

“There is no test that spit out an actual result that said our inability to conceive is Remington’s fault, Hale.” I flung my hand out of the water and started ticking off facts. “One, she’s not even my official doctor. She’s a specialist we had one consultation with. She doesn’t know anything about us. Two, your job is way more intrusive than mine. You leave every week, and I’m left alone for days. I have to care for Elara, do my job, and go to class. Did you ever think that maybe I need Remington as much as he needs me? Marta feeds us and takes care of our daughter when Andrew or I can’t. When I’m overwhelmed, I can go there to catch my breath. Your dad might stress you out, but he helps calm me down. I like knowing I’m a part of his world when mine feels empty. You’re away a lot, Hale. And sometimes…”

I didn’t understand why I was suddenly crying. When I wiped my eyes I got bubbles on my face and sputtered, trying to keep them from going in my mouth.

“It’s really hard knowing I have a partner but also feeling like I’m a single parent half the time. Plus, school’s super stressful, and everyone’s younger than me in my classes, so it’s not like I have friends I can study with. If I was going to cut back on stress, I’d start there. But none of that matters because it takes two to tango, bucko, and this is not just my fault. You want to point fingers and place blame, let’s put it all on the table. The situation between you and your dad has been the biggest freaking elephant in the room since we’ve met, and we’ve been stepping around it for years. That’s intrusive!”

“Bucko?”

“I’m too tired to pick my words carefully.”

He glanced away and sighed, not the least bit frazzled by my emotional explosion. “My job has always required a lot of traveling.”

“Well, my job has always required a lot of Remington.”

“I don’t want to fight with you, Rayne.”

“Then why did you say all that to some stranger in a lab coat? She said our timing was off, and you dumped all this personal crap on the table. You could have at least spoken to me about your feelings in private.”

“I’m sorry. You’re right. That wasn’t the best place to bring this up. But it usually bothers me most when you’re running out the door to help him, so there never seems to be an appropriate time to discuss it.”

“Oh, my God.” I sank lower in the tub, strongly considering going underwater and holding my breath until he left the room.

“What? ”

“Hale, I love you, but I am not going to be a part of your rivalry with him. He might be my boss, but he’s also my father-in-law. He’s the only father figure I’ve got, and I love him. You can’t ask me to stop worrying about his health or stop scheduling his appointments and checking that his medications are correctly sorted just because I’m off the clock. That’s what a good daughter does. And, as his son, you should be grateful I care so much.”

“I am grateful.”

“Then why is it so hard for you to accept? Can’t you just admit that you love him, too?”

His jaw twitched. “Sometimes, I overlook how much you do when I’m not around. I know I rely on you a lot with Elara. I’m sorry if I’ve taken you for granted.”

Of course, he’d breeze right over the Remington stuff. “She’s my daughter, Hale. I do it because I love her, not as a favor to you. Now, can we go back to everything else I said and have a real discussion?”

He bolted out of his chair and paced the bathroom like a caged lion. His fingers forked through his hair, leaving it abnormally tousled and standing on end.

“I can’t stand it when you’re upset with me. Tell me how to fix this.”

Fix it? He was the one who started it.

Maybe this wasn’t even about Remington, but Hale was so used to blaming him for the problems in his life that he naturally went there.

“Hale, do you even know what I go through every month?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, this part of trying is more than just having sex for me. Every few weeks, I pee on that little stick, and my heart gets broken—over and over and over again.” Saying the words aloud brought the pain of the last fifteen months to the surface.

No matter how many times I told myself it was no one’s fault, I still piled most of the blame on my shoulders.

“I sit on the toilet and I cry. Every month.” Tears welled in my eyes now as I considered how many times I prayed and made promises, only to be disappointed again and again.

“Rayne.” He dropped to his knees and rubbed my shoulder. “Baby, please don’t cry.”

I sniffed and wiped away my tears. “The worst part is knowing that I have to disappoint you.”

“Baby, you could never disappoint me. ”

“Just once, I wish that test would be positive. Just so I could see you beam with pride.”

“You don’t have to be pregnant to make me proud, Rayne.”

“I know.” I wiped my eyes, ready to get out of the bath and go to bed. “And I’m not telling you this to make you feel bad. But if you want to know where my stress comes from, it’s that. You’re so perfect and used to getting everything you want. It’s incredibly stressful to be the one letting you down.”

“Come here.” He pulled me into a hug, careless of the way I dripped all over his clothes.

“I’m sorry,” he rasped, pressing a kiss to my lips. “I was a complete prick today. The thought of you crying over any of this…” His jaw ticked and his eyes glazed. “I never want to hurt you.”

I nodded, accepting his apology. “I know that. This is just…life. Nature’s complicated.”

“But this is about us. I should be there with you when you take the tests so you never have to go through any of this alone. I want to be there. I’m so sorry I haven’t been.”

“It’s fine?—”

“No. It’s not fine. When I say we’re in this together, I mean it. I promise to do better. And you’re right. I need to work out my shit with my father.”

I drew back in surprise and studied his eyes. “Really?”

“Really.”

I owed him an apology, too, but I was so blown over by his admission and promise to try where Remington was concerned that I could hardly think of what else I needed to say. This was tremendous progress.

I turned his wrist and checked the time on his watch. He had roughly one hour before he really needed to get moving.

“Hand me a towel,” I whispered.

He opened a towel and helped me out of the tub. After he gathered me in the plush fabric and dried me like a child, he lifted me into his arms and carried me directly to bed.

I shivered and pulled him down with me. “I love you, Hale.” I pressed my lips to his.

“I love you, too, baby,” he whispered against my mouth as I loosened his tie.

His hands traveled over my damp skin as he kissed a trail down my stomach. My fingers raked through his hair, pressing him lower until his mouth was between my thighs. The warm lick of his tongue had me arching into him and closing my eyes .

Hale could be demanding in bed, but he was never selfish. He always saw to my pleasure first.

My heels dug into his back as I writhed and moaned. The slow climb of my climax was a languid build that spilled over me in soft delight.

When my shivers calmed, I pulled off his shirt and pulled him in for another kiss. My hands fumbled at his belt as I urgently tried to get his pants off. “Take these off.”

As soon as he stripped off his clothes, he was filling me—slow, deep, and divinely passionate. My nails scraped down his shoulders as he kissed my neck. When he found that sensitive spot by my ear, my toes curled, and my legs trembled.

“Don’t go,” I breathed, pleading for him to stay.

“I wish I didn’t have to.”

My heart hurt every time we said goodbye. The ache never got easier to bear.

“Then give me something to remember you by. I want to feel you still inside of me even when you’re thousands of miles away.”

His hips slammed forward, and he buried himself deep. Locked in passion, we battled our denial, knowing full well that we only had a few minutes before he’d inevitably have to say goodbye.

I wondered how I got so lucky to find a man I loved so completely, a man who accepted me at my best and my worst. But no one prepared me for the agony that accompanies such unconditional love. If I ever lost Hale, the loss would kill me. He was more than my husband. He was my heart, my soul, the breath in my lungs, and the song in my voice.

“You’re my world, Hale.”

His brow pressed to mine as if my confession struck like an arrow to the chest. “You’re my entire universe, Rayne.” His breath shuddered as his release filled me.

I clung to his shoulders, desperate to hold him a little more. “Don’t let go yet. Just stay inside of me for a while longer.”

His arms slid beneath my back, our bodies still connected as one, as he pulled me onto him. I rested my head on his shoulder, savoring the safety I felt in his arms as I listened to his steady, familiar heartbeat.

Breathing in his scent, I committed this moment to memory, storing it beside a million other priceless moments we shared. It would be three long days before I could have him like this again. Bearable, but difficult.

“I’ll miss you,” I said, my only way of letting him know I would never willingly let him go, but I was ready to face reality all the same.

“I’ll miss you too, baby. More than you’ll ever know.”