Ceridor (Danubian #4)

20. Chapter Twenty

Chapter Twenty

Johann

We walked into the night and hugged the edge of town, far enough out that we couldn't be overheard, yet not quite into the trees. I looked at everything, and everywhere I looked had more color to it than before. The forest undulated with a pale green mist. When early spring fireflies winked in and out of the inky night, I caught dancing motes flittering after them, like sparkles of fairy dust.

But what utterly stole my breath from my chest was the sky. I knew on a dark night I could see the Orion Arm of the Milky Way galaxy, and being from the Alps this was something I'd witnessed in beautiful moments before, yet never in as much detail as I did now. It stretched across the sky like a multicolored river of pinks, greens, yellows and even bright blues.

It reminded me of something Ceridor had once said, on one of our many evenings spent with him reading at the inn while I worked the late shift. He'd told me that astrologers way back in the Renaissance had believed that the planets sang to each other.

Filled with love at the beautiful colors stretching overhead, I could see how they might think that.

Ceridor walked beside me, content to remain quiet and enjoy the late evening for a bit.

But as the colors began to fade, I knew I was returning to my prior state of consciousness. Every part of me wanted to hold onto this heightened state for longer. I had to know everything about this, and most importantly, how I could get there by my own power.

"Why can I see more than before?" I asked. "I saw the white sphere you sent out to stop Dunu attacking you."

My lover brightened, the lamplight from town twinkling in his eyes. "Well done, Johann. That was my life force—your etheric perception is improving."

"It certainly calmed Dunu," I remarked. "And here I'd been looking forward so much to talking with you about her. Surely the fact that I can see her means I've done well honing my magical practices?"

"It does mean you've done well, Johann," my lover praised. "And the white magic calming Dunu proved she's not evil. All sorts of creatures can masquerade as a creek sprite, but the grimy ones would react to my white magic as if it had burned them. She must really be from the blessed Danube, since my life force soothed her and washed away her rage."

"It washed away my alarm," I added, "but it did more than that. I felt lifted somehow, but even that doesn't quite encapsulate it."

I told him about feeling so old and as if I'd lived many lives prior to this one.

"Sounds like maybe your higher soul dropped in," my lover surmised, squeezing my hand. "Is there anything you want to say while you're this way, before it fades? I'll remember it for you in case you forget as you transition back. Best to write these things down once we return to the inn."

I thought about that for several moments.

"Tell me why you were so alarmed about the candles," I said.

Ceridor huffed a breath out and seemed to think things over. "There is a power that watches over Danubian High King Ulbrecht in battle."

"The seven lantern gods," I surmised.

Ceridor lurched to a stop, his eyes wide with alarm. "How much do you know about that? Was I talking in my sleep?"

"No, of course not," I assured him, coming to a stop also. "Effie and I have heard rumors from guests at the inn, though it's been relatively recent, in the last couple of months since you were last home, and around the time Dunu came by, asking us to light candles for her."

With his free hand Ceridor jammed his fingers into his hair. "Please note down anything you hear about them and report it to me. This is important."

It had to be, if it were actually true. "I promise. Does Dunu have anything to do with these lanterns?"

Ceridor nodded. "We think so. There's a small group of monks from Diana Monastery that have gathered around Ulbrecht, drawn by these lantern gods. I've mentioned Marit before."

"Yes, the librarian," I added.

"Indeed," he continued. "Marit's long-time partner is Corbi, but they recently added a third to their relationship: Peter, whom they rescued from a magical pocket in the forest and who has since been rehabilitating at the monastery."

Wait. "Three men…in one relationship?"

Ceridor shrugged. "Why not? They were triadic before, but Wren left to take care of the lanterns gods and is now close with Ulbrecht."

My jaw fell open. "One of the monks from the monastery is in a relationship with the High King?"

Ceridor shushed me, looking around, though we were on the edge of the forest and no one else was near. "Yes, though it's new, so please keep it quiet until they're ready to announce something. The Christians are lionizing Ulbrecht as their virgin king, so starting rumors that he got nailed by a man might piss them off."

This was all such startling information. Not just Ulbrecht with a Helvetican monk, but I still couldn't believe three men were in one relationship. "Just to be clear, I only want you, Ceridor."

"Am I already more than enough for you to handle?" he quipped with a smile.

I swatted his bum. "I've got my hands full with you, and that's all I want."

We started walking again.

Ceridor continued his explanation. "Peter was drawn away from the Christmas market by a creek sprite he said was named Dunu."

I gasped. "The same?"

"Surely the same," he concluded. "She gave him a ruby red rosary and told him to light it, but Peter brought it straight to Marit and Corbi who cautiously thought it should be transferred into Danubian territory first. That was wise, but more than likely Dunu brought the same red candleholder chain that you and Effie had already lit at the inn."

"What could little Dunu have to do with the lantern gods?" I asked.

"We can only guess, but Wren is now the guardian of the lanterns, and he thinks one of the aims of their power is to nourish Mother Nature. If that is true, then it would make sense for Dunu the creek sprite to act in Helvetican territory where the Alpine forests are richer and not as worn down as they are in the Danubian plains that have suffered from more instability and invasions."

"And a little creek nymph wouldn't give two hoots about human political borders," I guessed.

"She has no reason to, indeed," added Ceridor, "and yet the lanterns have become political because now they are protecting a king, which makes this whole situation dangerous. Helvetica could get dragged into a war."

I thought about that. "Why are the lanterns protecting Ulbrecht?

"We can only wonder at the motivations of the gods," answered Ceridor. "Ulbrecht himself thinks the gods aren't necessarily partial to him. He says the old mystic—now deceased and replaced by Wren—taught him that the gods were watching him in battle. They are witnessing his struggle, and so he and his men should fight with everything they have."

I had already wanted to join them, but their cause suddenly seemed larger in scope than I had assumed. "If Ulbrecht can stabilize the region, that too will lead to the thriving of nature alongside the human population."

"It's the best hypothesis that we have for now," my lover concurred.

I could tell he was mulling something over, so we continued walking and I waited him out.

"I am considering trying to help Wren and Awariye bring the lantern power down," he said.

I knew that name. "Your bardic apprentice?"

"Yes. Awariye has been helping Wren, since the deceased mystic left no instructions behind on how to guard the lanterns."

My protective instinct rose. "It sounds dangerous."

"It is," Ceridor agreed, glancing my way, "but if it aids in peace and less bloodshed, then it's important."

I could see that. It was the same logic as my wanting to join Ulbrecht on his campaigns. "I want to meet the lanterns also. Maybe even with my rudimentary magical training, I can still somehow help. If nothing else, I can protect you, and the group around you."

Ceridor kissed my cheek. "All the more reason for you to come with me and train at the monastery for a while until our group reconvenes at the summer solstice."

I couldn't wait.

Ceridor changed topics after a quiet moment. "Johann, those raids...do you remember that night you were held captive briefly, and we talked them into letting you go? Do you remember your guards?"

I smirked. "I remember they were so flirty with each other I could have sworn they were lovers."

"They were," he confirmed. "Igor and Kristoff."

I laughed. "I knew it! And one of them had fiery red hair."

"That was Kristoff," he said. "He's been dead for two years. He died in a raid soon after Ulbrecht integrated West Danube."

The smile fell right off my face.

Ceridor nodded. "Kristoff was guarding Igor's back."

That weighed so heavily on my chest. "Then it may be time for me to guard Igor's back."

"It may be," my lover agreed. "I believe you can do it."

His approval and faith meant everything to me. "Thank you for believing in me."

"Of course. You've believed in me these last two years while I was away and traveling. Trust me from now on to swing by and get you whenever I'm going into overly dangerous territory."

"Thank you." I sighed. "That's terrible. Poor Igor..."

"Igor is now in a relationship with my apprentice Awariye. From everything I've witnessed, Awariye is going to love that man like crazy and soothe any lingering grief he has."

" Wunderbar ," I said.

I pulled him into a hug. We stood at the edge of the forest and just hugged each other for a long moment.

"Thank you for still loving me on my path," I said, knowing it wasn't easy for him to support me putting myself in harm's way by wanting to fight. That he could potentially lose me, just as poor Igor had lost Kristoff, was a heavy price to pay in order to let me have my dream of defending these Danubian plains from invasion.

My lover nodded against me.

With all our talk of worldly things, I noticed the sparkling consciousness continued to fade.

"How do I keep this change, or how can I get it back and make it stay?" I asked.

Ceridor grinned as we resumed walking. "The awakening and unfolding of the Individuality is the whole point of the magical tradition at the monastery. It doesn't happen overnight. You could practice magic for self-development every day of your adult life for your entire lifetime and still not get there, though that much effort would definitely bring your higher soul closer and make it easier in a future incarnation. Monks can get to the point where they achieve a full invocation as soon as their subtle bodies stabilize after puberty. Then you have your entire adult life as a united soul, and after that it's just a matter of working off any remaining karma before you can leave material incarnation for good."

"Have you done this?" I asked, in awe at the concept, and also wondering if my beloved indeed had already completed this stage, since he seemed to truly live with his whole heart.

My lover shook his head. "And even if I had, I wouldn't say so. Like the Eastern concept of Enlightenment, once you accomplish it, it becomes rather taboo to talk about, and people wouldn't believe you anyway. Some of the old instructors from my time at Diana Monastery had surely accomplished it. The only young person I know to have done it is Wren, and that's only because his was dramatic enough to be dangerous. It happened right in the middle of a solstice celebration. Awariye told me about it."

"I would have thought you'd accomplished it," I said honestly.

He shrugged. "I've certainly gotten myself closer, and had moments when it felt true. That's how I know that I am on my path. Come what may, I have no regrets about becoming a bard. It was something my higher soul clearly yearned to experience."

That made sense. Ceridor had given up economic security, fame, power, and the regard of his people in order to pursue a path that had nearly gotten him killed recently, and yet he had never wavered in his resolve to keep following that path.

"But would such spiritual pursuits change my relationship with you? I guess what we get up to—in the bedroom especially—is pretty worldly."

My lover again shook his head, this time his smile filled with love. "Marit and Corbi are proof. They've loved each other since they were teenagers just beginning training at the monastery, and their spiritual advancement hasn't changed that."

I wanted to meet Marit and Corbi (and Peter!), see how they got on together and what it was like to be companions on such a path.

"As long as it doesn't get in the way of my relationship with you, I want to sprint toward this. What I've felt tonight is not something I will easily forget. I want my higher soul awake and with me."

"Johann," said Ceridor, his voice filled with conviction, "Ulbrecht trains with the magewoman Ingeborg who serves as his advisor, and he has Wren guiding him in the magic of this world also. If you become a mage in addition to a warrior, that is a path that could lead to you not just gaining your homeland back, but also standing in line to succeed Ulbrecht, should this world ever need you to become the Danubian Dragon."

My lover's words settled over my shoulders like a mantel. They made me feel strong. I believed him. I knew he would bring his skills to bear and guide me toward such a destiny, to run alongside me.

I nodded, the weight of that realization too powerful for words.

Ceridor leaned in and pecked me on the cheek. "Welcome back?"

I held back a sigh. The heightened state of consciousness was gone. " Ja , I'm back."

"Should we get to the inn, so Effie doesn't miss her bedtime?" he prompted softly, slipping his hand into mine.

I twined our fingers together and took a deep breath, committing to increasing my daily spiritual and magical practices, starting now.

"Sure. Let's go home."