Chase Our Forever (Sutten Mountain #3)

19. Liv

19

LIV

Clara is busy coloring a picture at the table when Dean walks into the kitchen, ready for work.

“It smells amazing in here,” he notes, setting his briefcase down on the island and stepping closer.

I smile as I focus on flipping the pancakes. “Clara insisted on pancakes this morning.”

“With cimamim!” Clara calls from her spot, not even bothering to look up from what she’s coloring. The way she’s been saying cinnamon all morning has killed me. It’s adorable, and I hope she never grows out of it.

“With cinnamon,” I confirm.

The smell of Dean’s cologne—or maybe it’s his aftershave—overpowers the smell of the cinnamon pancakes as he stands right next to me, watching closely as I begin to place the pancakes that are done on a plate next to the stove.

“I’ve got a couple of meetings this morning,” Dean explains, reaching into the cabinet next to me. He pulls out a coffee thermos and places it on the counter. “I won’t always be able to check my phone if you need anything, but please, if anything happens or you have any questions, call my assistant, and she’ll alert me immediately.”

I try not to smile at the nervousness in his tone. It’s kind of cute, and I shouldn’t find my widowed boss cute whatsoever. His smell is more overpowering than I thought. It’s going to my head. The way his scent surrounds me, fogging my brain with thoughts of wanting to get even closer to smell him.

“We should be perfect. We’re going to have the best first day together, aren’t we, Clara?”

Clara pushes her dark hair out of her face as she looks up at both of us. She wears a wide smile as she meets my eyes. “The best day, Livvy.” Her eyes move to Dean. “Bye, Daddy.”

Dean pauses while pouring steaming hot coffee into his mug. He looks at his daughter with raised eyebrows. “Are you already ready to get rid of me?” There’s a hint of a teasing tone in his voice.

I’d smile, but I’m too caught up in how he looks this morning.

Maybe it’s the way that the ends of his hair are wet and he stands close enough to me that I can see the little droplets hitting the pressed white collar of his shirt.

“Do you want some?” Dean asks, his tone hesitant as he holds up the coffeepot.

I jump, realizing he mistook me staring at him for wanting some coffee. I shake my head. “No, I’m fine. I had a cup already.” I turn to the pancakes, wincing when I realize the two still on the pan are a little more brown than I intended.

Get it together, Liv.

I blame the fact that I can’t stop looking at Dean on my lack of sleep last night. Nerves for my first day alone with Clara got the better of me. I want to do a good job, and meeting Dean’s family and feeling like I fit in with a group of people for the first time in my life made me realize how good I already have it here in Sutten.

The fear of losing it had me spending all night with my brain spinning over all the different things Clara and I could do to have fun. I repeated Clara’s schedule to myself so many times that I could recite it in my sleep. All I wanted to do was be prepared for today, but apparently, my desire to feel confident going in made it so my exhaustion is making me daydream about my boss.

My very off-limits boss.

The boss I’m still staring at as I watch his lips turn down in a frown. “Are you feeling okay this morning, Liv?” His voice is tight.

I nod as I plaster a smile on my face. “Totally fine. Want any pancakes before you go?”

I make sure to keep eye contact. All I want to do is take a moment to really appreciate the suit he’s wearing this morning, but I know better. I don’t want to make this weird, and I’m really only even giving him a second glance because I’m tired and he smells good.

That’s got to be the reason.

Dean stares at me for a few moments with narrowed lids. Slowly, he shakes his head. “No, I’m okay.” He leaves it at that as a blush creeps onto my cheeks.

I’ve weirded him out.

Or maybe he’s just in a rush. I try to comfort myself into thinking I’m not being creepy as he walks over to the breakfast nook. Clara barely looks up from her coloring sheet as he presses his lips to her hairline.

“You have a good day today. I’ll miss you.” He strokes the hair from her face as he looks down at her lovingly. I can tell he’s nervous about leaving her today, and I’m sure me acting weird this morning isn’t helping at all.

“You don’t have to miss me, Daddy. Livvy and I have fun.”

Her comment makes me smile as I finish cutting some strawberries to go with her pancakes. Hopefully, her excitement about our day together will help ease some of Dean’s nerves.

“You’re right. You’ll have the best day. Just don’t have too much fun without me.” He presses one more kiss to her forehead before backing up.

When his eyes meet mine, I can see the hesitation in his face. He doesn’t want to leave, and I get it. I clearly have no idea what it feels like to be a parent, but I can imagine it’s hard to trust them with someone else.

“I’ll call you if anything happens. We’ll have a great day, and she’ll be so excited to tell you all about it later.” I know it probably won’t help, but I try to ease his mind anyway.

He gives one curt nod of his head. He walked into the kitchen this morning seemingly in a good mood, but things have shifted a little. Maybe this is normal for him. His family seemed to think so yesterday when they kept warning me of his shifting moods. Or maybe he’s creeped out by the fact I couldn’t stop staring at him after he strolled in freshly showered and ready for work in a nice suit, smelling woodsy and rich all at once.

“Goodbye,” he calls while screwing on the lid of the coffee thermos. “Have a good day.”

“You too,” I respond, walking Clara’s breakfast over to her. The pancakes get her attention. She pushes the paper she was coloring to the side and gets right to shoveling almost an entire pancake into her mouth.

I thought Dean would be gone, but when I turn around to make myself a plate, I find him watching us from the entry to the kitchen. His lips turn down in a frown as he anxiously taps his fingers on the thermos he holds.

“I’ll take good care of her,” I promise, hating how uneasy he looks. I understand and don’t take it personally. I just wish there was a way for me to calm his nerves. “Clara and I are going to have a great day, and I’m going to make sure she stays safe.”

He sighs, his broad shoulders sagging slightly with the rush of air. “Are my nerves that obvious?”

I shrug, giving him what I hope is a comforting smile. “They’re a little obvious, but I understand.”

His cheeks puff out. “Okay. I’m leaving now. It’ll be fine.” I think the last part is said more to reassure himself more than to reassure me.

Clara is completely unaware of the stress her dad is going through at leaving her with me. She continues to shove pancakes into her mouth like she’s never eaten.

“Goodbye, Dean,” I say, looking back to find him still frozen in place.

He doesn’t respond. We just stare at each other for a few moments before his eyes flick to Clara. He watches her for a moment, and then he turns around and disappears.

I stare at the space he just left for a few moments before Clara’s dramatic sigh behind me catches my attention.

“Livvy, I thought Daddy never leave.”

I laugh, completely agreeing with her.