Christmas with My Grumpy Ex (Feuding Hearts Christmas #1)

18. Clearing the Ghosts

18

CLEARING THE GHOSTS

MAX

I stand at the ornate iron gates of the Campbell estate, my heart pounding in my chest. The sprawling mansion looms before me, a silent sentinel guarding the memories of a life I once lived. Taking a deep breath, I push open the gate and step onto the winding path that leads to the front door.

Each step feels heavier than the last. The manicured gardens, once a source of pride for Laura, now seem to whisper accusations with every rustling leaf. I can almost hear her voice in the wind, asking why I'm here, why I'm ready to move on when she can't.

I reach the massive oak door and hesitate, my hand hovering over the brass knocker. This is it. The moment that could change everything. I think of Ellie, of her warm brown eyes and the way she makes my heart race. I think of Amelia, and how she deserves a chance at a complete family. With renewed determination, I grasp the knocker and let it fall.

The sound echoes through the house, and for a moment, all is silent. Then I hear footsteps approaching, and the door swings open to reveal James Campbell, Laura's father. His eyes widen in surprise, then narrow with a mix of emotions I can't quite decipher.

"Max," he says, his voice gruff. "We... weren't expecting you."

"I'm sorry for dropping by unannounced," I reply, trying to keep my voice steady. "But I need to talk to you and Barbara. It's important."

James hesitates for a moment, then steps aside, gesturing for me to enter. As I cross the threshold, the familiar scent of lemon furniture polish and old books washes over me. It's a smell I once associated with comfort, with family. Now, it feels like stepping into a museum dedicated to a life I no longer live.

Barbara appears in the foyer, her face a mask of polite surprise. "Max, what a... pleasant surprise," she says, but her tone suggests it's anything but. "What brings you here?"

I take a deep breath, steeling myself for what's to come. "I need to talk to you both. About Laura, about Ellie... about everything."

The tension in the room is palpable as James and Barbara exchange a glance. Finally, Barbara nods. "Very well. Let's go to the sitting room."

As we walk through the house, I'm acutely aware of Laura's presence in every corner. Photos of her line the walls - Laura as a child, Laura on her wedding day, Laura holding newborn Amelia. Each image is a reminder of what we've lost, but also of why I'm here.

I need to move forward, for Amelia's sake, for my own sake.

We settle into the sitting room, James and Barbara on the loveseat, me in an armchair across from them. For a moment, we sit in uncomfortable silence, the ticking of the grandfather clock in the corner marking each passing second.

Finally, I clear my throat. "I owe you both an apology," I begin, my voice low but firm. "What happened at the gala... it wasn't right. I shouldn't have denied my relationship with Ellie. I was caught off guard, and I handled it poorly."

Barbara's lips thin into a tight line. "So you admit it then? You've moved on from our daughter so quickly?"

Her words sting, but I force myself to meet her gaze. "It's not that simple, Barbara. I loved Laura. A part of me always will. But it's been four years, and I..."

"Four years is nothing," James interjects, his voice sharp. "Laura's been gone for four years, and you're already parading around with another woman?"

I feel a flash of anger, but I push it down. Getting defensive won't help. "I understand how it looks," I say carefully. "But I need you to understand something. My relationship with Ellie... it's not about replacing Laura. It's about finding a way to live again."

Barbara leans forward, her eyes glistening with unshed tears. "And what about Amelia? Have you thought about how confusing this must be for her?"

"Amelia is the reason I'm here," I say, my voice softening as I think of my daughter. "She deserves to see her father happy, to have a complete family. Ellie... she's been amazing with Amelia. They adore each other."

James scoffs. "And you think this Ellie can just step into Laura's shoes? Become Amelia's mother?"

I shake my head. "No one can replace Laura as Amelia's mother. But Ellie isn't trying to. She's creating her own relationship with Amelia, one that's special in its own way."

I lean forward, my elbows on my knees, trying to bridge the gap between us. "I know this is hard for you both. Believe me, I do. I've spent the last four years drowning in guilt, convinced that moving on would be a betrayal to Laura's memory. But I've realized something important."

I pause, gathering my thoughts. "Laura wouldn't have wanted this for any of us. She wouldn't have wanted me to spend the rest of my life alone, or for Amelia to grow up without the chance of having a complete family. She was too full of life, too loving to want that."

Barbara's face softens slightly, a flicker of understanding passing through her eyes. "She always did put others before herself," she murmurs.

I nod, encouraged by this small concession. "Exactly. And that's why I'm here. I need you both to understand that my love for Ellie doesn't diminish what Laura and I had. It doesn't erase her memory or her importance in our lives. If anything, it honors her by allowing me to live fully, to be the best father I can be to Amelia."

James leans back, his expression thoughtful. "And this Ellie... you're sure about her? This isn't just some... rebound?"

I shake my head emphatically. "No, it's not. Ellie and I... we have a history. We were together in college, before I met Laura. Reconnecting with her, it's like... it's like coming home. She understands me in a way no one else does. She challenges me, supports me, makes me want to be a better man."

Barbara reaches for James's hand, squeezing it gently. "James, do you remember what Laura said to us, just before..." She trails off, unable to finish the sentence.

James nods, his eyes misting over. "She made us promise to look after Max and Amelia. To make sure they were happy."

I feel a lump forming in my throat. "She said that?"

Barbara turns to me, her expression softening further. "She did. She loved you so much, Max. Even at the end, when things were... difficult between you, she wanted you to be happy."

The weight of their words settles over me, and I feel tears pricking at the corners of my eyes. "I loved her too," I say softly. "I always will. But I wasn't the husband she deserved. I was too caught up in work, in my own issues. I didn't appreciate what I had until it was too late."

I take a deep breath, steeling myself for what I need to say next. "That's part of why I'm here. I need to apologize to you both, and to Laura's memory. I failed her in life, and I've been failing her in death by refusing to move forward. But I can't do that anymore. I can't teach Amelia to live in the present if I'm constantly living in the past."

James and Barbara exchange a long look, seeming to have a silent conversation. Finally, James turns back to me. "Max, we... we owe you an apology too. We shouldn't have ambushed you at the gala like that. It wasn't fair to you or to... Ellie."

Barbara nods in agreement. "We've been so focused on preserving Laura's memory that we didn't stop to consider what she would have actually wanted. And you're right, she would have wanted you and Amelia to be happy."

I feel a weight lifting from my shoulders, a sense of relief washing over me. "Thank you," I say, my voice thick with emotion. "Your understanding... it means more than you know."

James leans forward, his expression serious. "But Max, you have to promise us something. Promise that you'll never let Amelia forget her mother. That you'll keep Laura's memory alive for her."

I nod solemnly. "I swear it. Laura will always be a part of our lives, a part of Amelia's life. I'll make sure Amelia knows how amazing her mother was, how much she loved her."

Barbara stands suddenly, moving to a nearby bookshelf. She returns with a photo album, placing it gently in my lap. "We put this together for Amelia," she says softly. "It's full of pictures of Laura growing up, of your wedding day, of her pregnancy with Amelia. We thought... well, we thought she should have it. To know her mother."

I run my hand over the cover of the album, overwhelmed by the gesture. "Thank you," I whisper. "This is... this is incredible. Amelia will treasure this."

As I flip through the pages, a comfortable silence falls over the room. The tension that had been present since my arrival seems to dissipate, replaced by a shared sense of nostalgia and, surprisingly, hope.

Finally, I close the album and look up at James and Barbara. "I want you both to know that you'll always be a part of Amelia's life. And mine. You're her grandparents, and nothing will ever change that."

Barbara smiles, a genuine smile that reaches her eyes. "We'd like that very much, Max. And... we'd like to meet Ellie properly. When you're ready, of course."

I nod, feeling a surge of gratitude. "I'd like that too. She's... she's pretty amazing. I think you'll like her."

As I stand to leave, James surprises me by pulling me into a hug. "You're a good man, Max," he says gruffly. "Laura chose well."

I return the hug, feeling a sense of closure I didn't know I needed. As I walk back to my car, clutching the photo album to my chest, I feel lighter than I have in years. But I know there's one more thing I need to do before I can truly move forward.

The drive to the cemetery is quiet, the late morning sun casting long shadows across the road. As I pull through the wrought iron gates, a sense of calm settles over me. This is the first time I've been back since we buried Laura, and I'm surprised to find that the overwhelming grief I expected is replaced by a bittersweet nostalgia.

I make my way through the rows of headstones, my feet instinctively knowing the path. When I reach Laura's grave, I pause, taking in the simple elegance of the marble headstone. "Laura Campbell Wellington," it reads. "Beloved daughter, wife, and mother."

I sink to the ground, sitting cross-legged in front of the grave. For a moment, I'm silent, unsure of what to say. Then, almost without realizing it, I begin to speak.

"Hey, Laura," I say softly. "I'm sorry it's been so long. I... I couldn't bring myself to come before now. But I'm here, and I have so much to tell you."

I tell her about Amelia, about how she's growing into a beautiful, intelligent little girl who reminds me so much of her mother. I tell her about the Christmas adventure we've been on, about the gala and its success.

And then, taking a deep breath, I tell her about Ellie.

"I've found my way back to Ellie," I say, my voice barely above a whisper. "I know it might seem sudden, or like I'm trying to replace you. But Laura, you have to know that's not it at all. Loving Ellie... it doesn't mean I've forgotten you. It means I'm ready to live again. To be the father Amelia deserves, the man you always believed I could be."

I pause, running my hand over the cool marble of the headstone. "I want you to know that I'll always love you. You gave me the greatest gift in the world with Amelia, and I'll spend the rest of my life making sure she knows how amazing her mother was. But I also want you to know that it's okay. It's okay for me to move on, to find happiness again. I think... I think that's what you would have wanted."

Tears are flowing freely now, but they're not tears of grief. They're tears of release, of letting go of the guilt that's been weighing me down for so long.

"I'm going to be the best father I can be for Amelia," I promise. "I'm going to raise her in a way that would make you proud. And I'm going to love her enough for both of us."

I sit in silence for a few moments, feeling the gentle breeze on my face. Then, slowly, I reach for my left hand and remove my wedding band. I've worn it for four years since Laura's death, a constant reminder of what I'd lost. Now, I realize it's time to let it go.

I place the ring gently on top of the headstone, my fingers lingering for a moment. "Goodbye, Laura," I whisper. "Thank you for everything. For Amelia, for the years we had together, for teaching me how to love. I'll never forget you."

As I stand, I feel a sense of peace wash over me. The guilt that's been my constant companion for so long seems to lift, replaced by a quiet acceptance. I've said my goodbyes, I've made my peace. Now, it's time to look to the future.

I walk back to my car with a newfound determination. I know what I need to do next. I need to find Ellie, to tell her everything. To fight for her, for us, for the future we could have together.

As I drive away from the cemetery, my mind is clearer than it's been in years. The road ahead won't be easy. I've hurt Ellie, pushed her away too many times. But for the first time, I feel truly ready to love her without reservation, without the shadows of the past holding me back.

I grip the steering wheel tightly, my resolve strengthening with each mile. I don't know how Ellie will react when I show up at her door. I don't know if she'll be willing to give me another chance. But I do know one thing: I'm going to fight for her with everything I have.

Because Ellie Hawthorne is worth fighting for. And this time, I'm not letting her go without a fight.