Christmas with my Three Best Friends (Lucky Lady Reverse Harems)

Chapter 19

19

Marius

I know Roxanne wants to get back together.

This isn’t even her first attempt. I’ve let her back in before. This time, however, it’s different. Our relationship, as rocky and as toxic as it was, took up space in my life, and that time wasn’t exactly wasted. I’ve learned plenty from that hot mess, and I know never to return to places where I am surely going to get hurt again. Besides, my mind, my heart, and my body belong to Shay. I can’t get her out of my head, even during these difficult times.

The tension between us is unbearable, and I don’t yet know how to navigate these murky waters. Shay deserves the best of me, the best of us . There are moments when I feel like I’ll never be good enough for her, yet I can’t fathom the thought of letting her go, of losing her. And I know Jax and Richard feel the same way. We’ve fallen in love. Deeply. We will never be able to bounce back from this.

Sitting on one of the sofas in the reception area, I rummage through my laptop for some workout plans for new clients. Business is starting to pick up, but nowhere near as fast as we need. Richard is already looking into another gym, which leaves Jax and Shay and me to pick up the pieces with this one. I’m disappointed, but I also understand where he’s coming from. Most importantly, I understand his way of thinking, and I can’t be mad at him. It’s still a tough pill to swallow though.

Shay is seated at another table next to mine, going over a nutrition plan with a client. I have a hard time looking away from her, even when she’s in her gym shorts and oversized gray tee.

I love how patient she is, explaining the technical side of the nutrition plan in a way that actually makes sense. Shay understood the assignment since before she came into the gym. She did her research on top of her college studies, she spoke to other nutritionists and fitness trainers, and she delved deeply into scientific studies until she had a clear image of what she wanted for herself. It still amazes me that she has this ability to absorb so much information, only to repackage it into simpler terms for the layman.

I’m reading through a training plan while eavesdropping on their conversation. I could get involved, but I don’t like interrupting Shay during her client meetings, just like she keeps her distance when I’m in mine.

Roxanne waltzes in wearing short, lime green shorts and a skimpy white top, gym bag on her shoulder and a bright smile on her face. “Hey, Marius,” she calls, her voice sweet. “Ready for our training session?”

“Hey, Roxanne,” I reply politely. I can feel Shay stealing glances at us, but I can’t do a thing. I can’t say anything. “I’ll be ready in a few minutes, but you can go in and get started on your warm-up.”

I’ve only recently accepted her as a new client for one-on-one sessions—Roxanne insisted, and Shay said we could use the extra money. No argument there, but it’s putting me in a tough spot, especially since Roxanne is shamelessly hitting on me. She bends over the coffee table in order to get closer to me and in order for me to see her cleavage underneath the small top she’s wearing over the tight sports bra.

“I’ve got a couple of warm-up ideas I’d like to run by you. Or with you,” Roxanne giggles.

I smile, working overtime not to cringe and embarrass her. “You’re free to do whatever you want where the warm-up is concerned,” I say. “You just need to make sure you target the muscles we’re going to use during your strength training.”

“Oh, I’m definitely focused on whatever muscle you wanna work on,” she flirts. “Hey, let’s have drinks tonight after the gym closes. There’s a new bar opening up on K Street. You’ll love it.”

Frozen in time, I simply stare at Roxanne. It isn’t enough to stop her advances.

“I know one of the bartenders. He’ll make your favorite extra-minty Mojito,” she adds, then straightens her back and rests one hand on her hip. “Come on, it’ll be fun. Just like old times. Besides, we have so much catching up to do.”

I still can’t find a damn word to say.

Shay heard her. She may be engaged in conversation with her client, but I know she heard everything. I know she’s waiting for my response. Why are my lips sealed? The answer should be simple. No. But the truth is… I don’t know what to say. Part of me wants to punish Shay for keeping me at bay the past few days. We’ve barely spoken since Roxanne came back, and I can’t get through to her. I keep trying to see her, but she always leaves before I can get her alone.

I’m aware that she’s doing it on purpose. She’s scared, especially given the complexity of our relationship. But I’m just as scared. We’ve only just started, and if she’s already headed for failure, where does that leave me? Where does it leave Jax or Richard, for that matter? I need Shay to be involved in this with us. All the way. The kid in me wants to be petty, if only to make it sting for her, yet I’m worried it’ll just push her farther away.

I’m still staring.

“Well, I’m going out tonight. And you have my number. You can always call me,” Roxanne says, loud enough for Shay to hear. “I’ll go get started on my warm-up routine in the meantime.”

“Okay.” That’s all I can manage as I stare at my laptop screen.

A few moments later, Shay wraps up her meeting, and her client heads for the locker room. He’s due to start his first training session with me, around the same time as Roxanne. I made sure to schedule another client during Roxanne’s hour. My hope is that she won’t hit on me with other clients around.

“I’ll see you later,” Eddie tells Shay.

“I’ll see you in there, actually. I’m gonna hit the treadmill for a bit,” she replies, then gives me a sharp side-eye. I know that look, and it feels like a punch in the gut.

Shay only gets on the treadmill during the day when she’s feeling anxious or angry or both. Roxanne’s carefully calculated jabs may have stirred her up, and my inability to react accordingly may have made it worse. Obviously, I feel like the biggest idiot, but it’s too late to fix anything, now. Shay barely talks to me these days, anyway. I can’t force her to do anything. I can only figure out a way to make it up to her, to reassure her I’m still here.

As soon as I go into the gym, however, a hellish scene awaits.

Eddie is doing his warm-up routine. Roxanne has just finished hers, and she walks up to me with a skip in her step, eager to get started with her workout. There are about twenty other clients occupying different machines, but the one currently walking on the treadmill next to Shay’s causes anger to roil in the pit of my stomach and my shoulders to tense up.

Vincent.

I didn’t even see him come in.

They’re talking. Well, he’s doing most of the talking. Shay just walks at a higher speed, her beautiful face covered in a thin sheen of sweat as the treadmill adjusts its inclination according to a preset program. I can’t hear anything over the music blaring through the speakers, but I can’t get too close, either. My clients require my attention, and Roxanne is practically in my face.

Her presence alone fills me with uneasiness, a darkness working its way through my body as a mist spreads over my mind. I always felt like this with her, and it hasn’t changed. My own soul is telling me this is a bad idea. But Vincent’s presence fuels my anger, my muted fears about Shay. I may be dealing with my ghosts here, yet so is she.

How did we get to this point?

“Hey, handsome,” Roxanne says, inches from my face. “What are we doing today?”

“Back and chest,” I reply almost automatically as I guide her to one of the machines, choosing to keep an eye on another client’s warm-up routine. If I give Shay and Vincent another glance, my professionalism will fly out the window. I can’t afford that. Our gym can’t afford that.

But I do make a mental note to talk to the guys about Vincent. He keeps moving closer—one step at a time, patiently working his way back to her. Shay has a soft, forgiving heart. I shouldn’t doubt her, I really shouldn’t. Maybe this is my own insecurity talking. I mean, who am I to judge, right? Roxanne keeps giving me sweet looks with each pull of the machine, and all I can do is smile back. I should explicitly tell her I’m not interested in rekindling a dead fire.

Just like Shay should keep a reasonable distance from Vincent. I thought she couldn’t care less about the prick, so why are they chatting and even chuckling now and then as they walk on the treadmills together? It’s frustrating when I don’t have all the answers, and it’s even more frustrating when I know I should be stepping up for her.

Maybe I deserve the incoming fallout.

Maybe it was meant to end this way.