Citrine (Deliverance #3)

26. Wroahk

26

Wroahk

She pauses, searching for an answer to my question. My eyes are drawn to her graspers, more fragile and breakable than mine, but I've felt them.

I know how they must be treasured now. Protected.

" Kind hands can't be won or taken, only given ," she tells me.

"Why?"

She lets out a long breath and speaks again. " Kind hands must be offered, not taken, otherwise you get violent hands or if you're violent, you kill the possibility of there being a kind anything. You can't just seek to own somebody if you want them to be kind . Trust me, if you're patient and gentle , you will have more than if you try to take."

"So, your kind hands come at the cost of you endlessly talking?" I ask.

"Yes," she responds a little too eagerly, bobbing her head.

"I understand," I say, even though it would be much easier for me to simply claim my territory.

"It's a deal then," she says.

I stare blankly at her.

"A trade? " she asks.

I keep staring at her, not understanding the words coming from her mouth. She reaches out a grasper to me, eagerly looking at my face. I would take it as a gesture to fight, but she is not a creature of violence.

"Not that either, huh ? Dios . This should be interesting."

She continues splashing water with her graspers, her expressions shifting before she speaks again.

"It's an agreement we have to make. I can't keep thinking you want to eat me every time you look bored, and you can't just hang around for no reason. Now that I think about it, you keep watching me like a stalker . I should get a restraining order against you."

She laughs that odd sound that doesn't sound like her normal self. It distracts me, but then I focus back on her words. I think I understand she wants me to stop watching her. No, I cannot do that. I know I won't keep myself away from her.

I peer at her. "What is the agreement ?"

Her lips raise, I assume because she likes my question. "First, you've got to stop watching me all the time. It's like you're with me every second of the day. It makes it hard to do anything private."

"No. A Many Teeth would kill you."

"Many Teeth?" she asks, cocking her head to the side.

"The creature that attacked you."

"Oh… Well, they do have a lot of teeth. You do too…" her voice trails off as she stares at me.

"I am nothing like them."

"Fine , I know you're not," she clicks back, raising her graspers. "I'm just saying maybe that's not the best thing to call them. It might make them more irritable."

"I don't care."

"You look like you don't," she responds, her lips moving again in a way that doesn't seem natural.

"Still, it makes it hard to clean myself if you're constantly watching me."

I can't help spending most of the day thinking about her and therefore watching her. My eyes instantly find her, a need for her rising within me. I prefer to watch my prey, so nothing else steals it away or has the chance to.

She's mine to take.

"I'll keep watching you. No agreement ."

She sighs in defeat. "Fine. I'll try to ignore your intrusive stares."

She seems to finally be done adding to the deal , good. "I have listened to you. You will give me kind hands now."

Something moves across her face as she hesitates, then she closes her eyes for a brief moment, stands up taller, then speaks. "No."

"There was a deal ."

She moves her head back and forth. "No."

Anger starts to build, and I move out of the water. Her eyes widen, but she doesn't flee. I whip out a tentacle and wrap it around her wrist, then tug her forward, rubbing her grasper against the top of another tentacle.

Frustration builds in my chest, like I'm starving and my prey keeps alluding me.

She doesn't move, just stares at me. I put her other grasper next to the other, but she doesn't react. I gently move her graspers, rubbing them against me, but it just feels… like nothing.

"I told you, Wroahk. Kindness can never be taken, only given. It doesn't feel the same, does it?"

My grip loosens. "You will—"

She speaks over me. "Unless I move with intent, unless I decide to give my kindness to you, it will never feel the same. It's empty without my consent ."

I release her and she takes a step back, pulling her arms close to her body and watching me intently. I look back down at her graspers.

That's not where her kindness comes from, I realize. It comes from somewhere inside of her. There is more to her than I can see, and I suddenly start to understand some of her power over me.

Is it a form of strength, but in a way that can't be seen or touched?

She takes a deep breath. "I think you understand now. The thing I want most of all is for you to ask if you want to touch me, not just do it. It's called consent . I won't touch you unless you ask. I will ask to talk, and you can ask for kind hands , but either one of us can always say no."

Asking for something. It's a simple yet strange concept. I don't ask prey if I can hunt or eat them. I've always done as I wished.

Except now I see that there are some things, very important things, that simply cannot be hunted.

" Agreement ," I tell her, deciding to accept this new change to my life.

"Good. I think we will be just fine. Looking forward to working with you, Wroahk," she says with a laugh, this one sounding normal again, extending a grasper to me.

I look at it, unsure of what she wants me to do. She points to my grasper with her free hand.

"You bring up your hand the same way I did."

"No."

"Oh, come on. It's nothing hard. It's just a handshake ."

Touching her grasper just seems so… dangerous now. And I fear breaking them, or not understanding consent . I still want her kind hands, and I need time to think about all of this.

I refuse her firmly and dive into the water.

After a quick hunt to clear my mind, I return to watch her.

She moves around doing her mysterious things as I think, my brain sick of how much of it I have been doing. She's wandering around, picking plants and following around not-food like they are the most interesting things she has seen in her life.

She doesn't even try to eat them. I don't understand the point.

I run through our conversation again, and the way she looked. Not like she usually does. Like a hunter does when they are trying to make it seem like they are looking at a different prey, all the while planning to kill the one to the side of them.

No, surely that would be something beyond her. She's ridiculous. Now she's climbing up into one of those huge plants now, pulling things from it and putting them in her mouth. Whatever it is, it looks disgusting.

The way she looked as I moved out of the water flashes into my mind. Like it was planned. Such an odd creature, but now I see I have underestimated her. She tricked me, making it seem like she was hunting something else, and I moved right into her trap.

My mating tentacles are writhing in the water as I try to understand just what type of hunter she is.