Class Clown (The Thornback Society #4)

3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Ruby’s Truth: White sheets do not make for good neighbors.

When I returned to the Funky Bunks cabin from setting up the health center a couple of hours later, I was met with the sight of Cole holding a sheet in one hand and a staple gun in the other. He was looking up at the log ceiling and frowning. Someone had thought to open the curtains and I was happy to see that at mid-afternoon the cabin was a little brighter with some natural light.

“What’s up?” I asked, closing the back door behind me. I felt better after brushing through my hair, washing my face, and spending some time deep-diving into the exam room.

“I thought I’d staple the sheet to the ceiling for you, but then stopped to wonder if I’d get in trouble for that.”

I approached him and patted him on the back, surprised at him stopping to think first. “Look at you, all grown up and caring.”

He shook his head. “I don’t like this new, more mature me. He's no fun.”

I giggled as I looked up. “Two things. One, if the camp director can’t staple a sheet to the ceiling in the Funky Bunk Cabin, then what was the point of taking this job?”

He laughed and nodded. “True. I don’t think it’ll cause any permanent damage.”

“Nothing noticeable at least. ”

He began to unfold the sheet and glanced my way. “You said two things?”

I pointed at the cloth hanging between us. “You chose a white sheet.” He looked down at it, nodded, and shrugged, forcing me to explain. “White is see-through when light shines from behind it.”

He smiled. “Shadow puppets are a basic ingredient to summer camp.”

I turned so that my back was facing him, and wiggled my hips. “To be clear, this is the shadow you’ll be seeing.”

He tamped down on a smile and made busy with the sheet. “Yikes. I’ll be having nightmares for sure. Sadly, white is all we have because they need to be able to bleach them.” He shook out the sheet and handed me the staple gun. “You want to staple?”

“There’s another problem.”

“I know. You’re short. Don’t blame yourself,” he joked as he patted the top of my head before lifting the sheet edge toward the ceiling. “You can’t fight genetics.”

I blew a raspberry at him. Sure, our Chinese mother was not far over five feet tall, but all three of us children had inherited our dad’s extra-large frame, putting me at about five feet six inches. Cole had gone from baby to the biggest child, and was over six feet tall, and built like a guy who brawled on weekends. He made a show of tilting his head sideways as though he were having to avoid hitting it on the ceiling. He wasn’t. The ceiling was lower than a house, but still over his head.

I tugged at the sheet until he let go. “You got one twin-size sheet, genius.” I wiggled it at him. “That’ll never go around the entire bunk. I’ll start hanging it. Go get two more.” He saluted me and I called after him. “And don’t get distracted. Your sister is your top priority.”

“Long live shadow puppets,” he called before the door closed.

I slid one of the kitchen chairs over to the foot of my bunk and climbed up to get started. Holding the corner of the sheet with one hand, I pressed it up against the cabin ceiling and squeezed the handle of the staple gun until I heard a satisfying click. First staple was in. I worked my way down the sheet, satisfied at the progress I was making until, of course, a gun-shot bang slammed through the room from that blasted front door.

“We had a deal,” I squealed as I teetered on the chair, my hands still up in the air .

I reached a steadying hand toward the bunk bed post but caught only air. I fully expected to fall backwards off the chair, crack my head on the floor, and come to in a puddle of my own urine, but my windmilling arms made contact with a solid shoulder at the same time that two strong hands grabbed my waist to steady me from behind. I was pushed upright until my feet were once more stable on the chair and I was able to grab onto the bed for added support, but the hands lingered.

I took a few steadying breaths, already knowing who I’d find when I turned around. He let go of my waist as I slowly faced him.

“Nico, what is your last name?” I asked as I sucked in a last deep breath and pushed my raggedy hair out of my face.

“Crawford,” he replied in that unnervingly slow manner of his, as though he were deliberating before handing me a weapon.

“Well, Nico Crawford, the front door is out of order.”

“The door I just used?”

“That thunder-cracking sound it makes? Not normal. Cole and I made a deal to only use the back door.”

I looked back up at the sheet I’d been hanging, grateful to see it was still in place. With one last staple I secured the end and hopped off the chair, sort of surprised that I stuck the landing. It had been fifty-fifty that I’d fall on my face given my current shaky status.

“Sorry,” Nico said when I gave him a look.

“Do you have any sisters?” I asked.

He shook his head. “No, ma’am.”

Okay, he was both a Texan and a military man, but it had been a long time since I’d been called ‘ma’am’. It didn’t really happen in Utah and the phrase caught me a little off guard. In a good way, to be clear. A handsome man could ‘ma’am’ me any day of the week.

“Well, I’ll tell you something about girls then.” I pointed at him with the staple gun to emphasize as I spoke slowly. “We do not like to be scared. It makes us have to pee. And when our bladders lose control, we also lose control of our tempers.” His brows rose and then sank, but bless his heart he maintained eye contact rather than looking down to see if I was standing in a puddle. He seemed to be processing each word separately, the way I had intended. “That is why we have agreed not to use the front door,” I added, now pointing at the door. “The noise makes me twitchy.”

“So… you don’t like surprises? ”

“I like surprises like a nice sunrise in the morning, or a guy leaving me a flower on my windshield, or stumbling across a real-life male model carrying cupcakes all for me. I don’t like surprises that make me have to face the reality that I’m not prepared to fight for my life.”

He tipped his head at the sheet. “Is your dislike of surprises also why you’re hanging a sheet around your bed?” he asked.

I looked at the sheet and back at him. “That’s more to prevent surprises. Like, oh, hey, here’s some skin you have no business seeing.”

He was supposed to laugh, but he didn’t, and the air around us grew heavy as we both stared back at the dangling sheet. This was the now the second longest conversation we’d ever had, and neither of us seemed to know what to do from here.

My theory about him being a murderer gave up its last breath. He’d never be able to charm a woman into his lair. He was hopeless.

Thankfully, Cole walked in through the front door with a couple more sheets and hooked his thumb over his shoulder as he rammed it closed with his hip.

“I was surprised to see this open. I thought we weren’t using that door.”

Nico looked at me and I gave him a see, what did I tell you look before reaching for the sheets from Cole. “Thanks.”

I slid the chair toward the dressers and climbed back up as I overheard Nico saying something to Cole that sounded a lot like “your sister and her bladder don’t like sudden noises.” A laugh rose in my throat and I had to turn away from them to hide my smile. It had sounded so hysterically funny in the somber tones that Nico used. I slid the sheet between the two dressers and had to lean up on my toes a bit to get the sheet against the wall, bracing my knees against my dresser as I put in the first staple.

“White is see-through if there’s a light behind it,” Nico said, still under his breath, to Cole. “Weren’t there dark sheets?”

Cole laughed. “Ruby said the same thing.” Then he slapped Nico on the back and said the biggest dummy thing to ever be said by a brother. “Hope you don’t mind seeing my sister’s shadow every night as she changes into her pajamas.”

I froze. I’m pretty sure Nico froze too, because the only thing I could hear over my heartbeat was Cole walking briskly across the wooden floor and out the back door of the cabin. Mortification wasn’t a familiar emotion, which is probably why all I could do was lick my lips and manage to force out a few quiet words while keeping my eyes fixed on stapling up my non-privacy screen.

“He’s an idiot.”

“Yes, ma’am,” Nico whispered back, before his rapid footsteps followed Cole right out the door.

The way I saw it, I had two options. One: be a wimp and avoid the Funky Bunks forced proximity situation at all costs. Two: take queen-like ownership of the cabin and show those men how things were going to be. It took me less than five minutes to decide that, yeah, it was going to be option two. Queen it up.

Cole had lived with a sister growing up, and he’d understand the explosion of grooming products in the bathroom, the peach-scented steam-cloud after showering, waiting for more hot water, watching me hold up a hand mirror to tweeze my facial hairs, and the radical spraying of scented air-freshener on the regular. Nico, well, he was a bit of a mystery. I didn’t know his story, but I was going to grin and fake it until he warmed up. Or at least thawed to whatever level he was capable of.

To be fair, I’d never stuck around long enough to see if Nico could thaw.

I worked out my thoughts as I sat on the exam table in the health center cabin, my feet scuffing the floor as I kicked my legs back and forth. The room smelled pleasantly of disinfectant, latex, and band aids. The blue plastic cushion under me squeaked a little with each back and forth of my legs, and I allowed the soothing scents and sounds to replace the irritation of earlier.

Why couldn’t I have been stuck in a standard forced proximity romance trope with someone agreeable? I could have salvaged my Summer of Love. Sad. There was zero romance in being forced to room with my brother and his robot bestie.

My mind went down a little, teeny, harmless rabbit hole of imagining how it would have been if the hero from my latest romance novel had walked in the door instead. My face would have lit up, my heart pounded, my mouth would have shifted into a smile of welcome. I’d have helped him make his bed and then heated some water and we’d have sat down at the little table while I stirred up some creamy cocoa and added one more marshmallow than he’d asked for. He’d swipe the hair out of his eyes and give me a teasing look. I would have apologized for the mishap of us ending up rooming together - not meaning a word of it - and he’d have pulled me close to him, kissing me while he told me we’d better make the best of it.

Heaven.

Dark, serious eyes replaced his and I frowned as Nico’s face flashed into my mind. I was going to spend the next three months scampering around like a half-feral person trying to force the cabin to feel like a home.

My stomach sank and heaviness filled my chest. I shook my head. “Be honest, Ruby,” I said out loud to myself. “None of the guys you’ve dated were ever going to play house with you.” I really needed to stop pretending that I’d ever had more than a passing, flirtatious relationship. Daydreaming about love was only making me feel worse.

I stood up and grabbed a book on poison ivy, sternly reminding myself that I was a Thornback Dragon Woman. I did not need a man to complete me, and I had the strength to make this the best summer ever regardless of break-ups and unexpected house-mates.

The pep talk helped a little, but my mind still didn’t focus well and I’d probably read the same paragraph fifteen times when there was a light knock on the doorway leading into the exam room. I glanced up to find a younger woman with a blond ponytail and a bright smile standing in the open frame. She was wearing a t-shirt and those zip-away pants that can turn into shorts. In fact, it seemed like everyone up here was ready to go from pants to shorts at the flick of a zipper. Maybe I’d have to get some.

“You must be Ruby,” she said.

I closed the book and smiled at her. “I like your pants. If the bottom caught fire, how long would it take you to zip yourself free?”

Her smiled dimmed a little at the unexpected line of conversation, but she pushed it back up. “I’ve never counted, but if your phone has a stopwatch, I’m willing to see.”

I liked this girl. “Let’s do it.” I grabbed my phone from the top of my desk and opened the stopwatch feature. She put her hand on one of the zippers just above her knee, and when I said go, she unzipped while using her other foot to toe off her hiking boot, and then kicked off the bottom half of her pants. We both laughed as I read the final time. “A little under four seconds. Not bad. ”

She grinned as she retrieved her pant leg from across the room and stuck her foot back through it. “The longest part was definitely getting my boot off. If I’d been in flip-flops that would have easily been half the time. Still, around eight seconds for both legs. There would be burns, but not as bad as if I’d been in regular pants and had to remove more material.”

I tucked my phone back in my pocket. “Do they come in purple?”

She shrugged and picked up her boot. “Not sure. I ordered mine online. I can give you the website.”

“Fantastic. I am Ruby. You were looking for me?”

“Oh, right.” She finished getting her boot back on and held out her hand in greeting, introducing herself as we shook. “I’m Kristy. Mr. Jenkins told me I could probably find you here.”

“Ah, by Mr. Jenkins I’m assuming you mean my brother.” I released her hand and leaned back against my desk. “Just so we’re clear, I’ll never call him that. It’ll go to his head.” I teased. “He was right, though. Here I am.”

“Well, I’m your assistant and I’m here to help you get organized.”

I got an assistant? Cool beans. Cole had not mentioned this little nugget, and that realization had me feeling slightly more forgiving about him not mentioning Nico. If he hadn’t told me the good, then he probably hadn’t meant to surprise me with the bad. Camp had a lot of moving parts, and Cole could be a scatterbrain.

I met Kristy’s curious look and smiled. Her eyes were the same blue color as the sky had been that morning. It was a rare color and made me think of my friend Hailey. A fizz of homesickness had me pressing a hand to my stomach. How I wished my friends were here. We could have really made the most of summering together in the Funky Bunk cabin.

I took a deep breath in through my nose and refocused. Kristy looked young, maybe early twenties, and eager, and her eyes had no shadowy secrets that I could see. It gave me hope that there was the possibility of a friendly person to pass the time with.

I gave her a big smile. “This is a pleasant surprise. Cole didn’t tell me I’d have some help, and it’s about time one of his surprises was good.” I pulled a face, which Kristy laughed at. “With over a hundred kids attending camp each week, plus staff, I have a feeling the health center will be hopping.”

“I was the assistant last year too, and it’s mostly throwing up and head colds. Nothing too drastic. ”

“I’ll spend my days knocking on wood and tossing salt to make that wish come true.”

She nodded and held up a hand to wave her crossed fingers. “It’s kind of fun that you get to work with your brother for the summer.”

I tipped my head side-to-side. “Mostly, yes. But do you have any brothers?”

“Yes.”

“Then you understand that it can be like Dickens said; the best of times, and the worst of times.”

“True. I hear you’re also sharing a cabin with him.”

“Yep. That’s one of the worst of times parts.”

Her voice dropped and her eyes swept to the side as though we were now undercover agents about to spill secrets. “And Nico Crawford? He’s in your cabin too?” I only nodded, curious to let her talk without any of my feedback changing what she was thinking. “Have you seen him?” Her blue eyes grew big and her cheeks pinked up.

Oh. Okay. This was interesting. “I have,” I replied.

She put her hands to her cheeks and bit down a giggle, moving a few steps closer to me. “How are you possibly going to sleep with him so close?”

“Lady, you have no idea,” I muttered. But I didn’t think my reaction was the same as hers. My horror show was clearly her version of cotton candy swoon.

“I know, right? I’d toss and turn all night thinking about him being so close.” She laughed. “If he were only feet away from me, I’d never be calm enough to shut my eyes.” Her voice dropped to a whisper again. “I’d probably keep sneaking peeks at him.”

I mean, I was probably going to sneak some peeks too, but it would be more in the spirit of checking to see if the coast was clear. And, yeah, I did expect that for the first little while his presence would keep me up at night, but, her and I were not sailing in the same ship. My eyebrows raised as I took in her totally smitten vibe. It was kind of refueling my life with drops of joy.

From a scientific standpoint I supposed I could understand her reaction. Look, I’m going to straight up admit that I’m a woman who appreciates men. I like the way they move, and think, and talk. I like them shy, I like them loud. I like them as friends, and I like flirting with them. But mostly, I like them when they’re buying me dinner. Because food and men, now that is an irresistible combination.

Anyhow, as a man-appreciator, I had already noticed the straight facts, which were that he had a pleasing athletic build, and that he had been blessed with dark wavy hair and smooth skin worth envying. Facts. But, considering he was also completely devoid of personality, and his eyes gave you the glacial shivers, he wasn’t revving my engine, that was for sure.

“I don’t think we’ll be together in the cabin much. We’ll both be pretty busy,” I said when it became apparent that she was waiting for a reply.

Her eyes lost some sparkle. “That’s too bad. I know I’m being silly when I don’t even know him. One of my friends is a camp counselor and she pointed him out to me as he was unloading his car. But, like, if he’s working at a kid’s camp he’s probably amazing. He has to be so nurturing and patient.” The poor thing’s eyes nearly rolled back in her head at that pronouncement.

Well, well, well. This was unexpected. Nico was an unknown entity to these girls. He hadn’t actually opened his mouth in front of them. I could fully appreciate how they could get swept up in crushing on him. New, slightly older guy, masculine vibes, dark looks, mysteriously quiet. I had carried a few ill-advised torches myself for similar guys.

I could not wait until he opened his mouth - or refused to engage - and they all snapped out of their stupors. In the meantime, this was going to be quite entertaining to watch. Because if Kristy and her friend were already into him, it was only a matter of time before the other young women on site joined their parade.

“Thank you, Kristy,” I said, giving her a genuinely happy grin. “You have given me hope.”

“Hope for what?” she asked, frowning as the blush brought on by her daydreaming faded.

“Hope that this summer is going to be more fun than I’d expected.”

Not knowing the hidden meaning behind my words, she smiled back. “Summers up here are the best.”

“I believe it.” I clapped my hands together and looked around the room. “Now, let me show you how I’ve made a few changes in here, and then maybe you can show me where dinner is served?”

“You’re welcome to eat with me and my friend,” she offered.

I happily accepted. I had no desire to be lonely all summer, after all.