Class Clown (The Thornback Society #4)

4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Ruby’s Truth: Food goes down easier with a side of drama.

Dinner was a revelation. Not the food. The food was meh. The cook staff had put out some kind of box lunches that I was convinced were left from the past summer. A slightly soggy four-inch ham sandwich that also managed to be stale on top, plain potato chips in a Barbie-sized bag, and a giant pickle were what greeted me for dinner. I’m not exactly a waif. As a full-figured woman I needed my food, and I wasn’t shy about it. I was, however, empathetic to the plight of the camp cook, so I didn’t say a word and smiled as they handed me my skimpy meal.

The dining room was alive with chatter and greetings as returning staff found each other, and new staff were introduced. I loved the undercurrent of excitement, and took in the scene with a smile on my face. The room was basically the same as a school cafeteria, and that eased some more of my worries over feeling comfortable here. I was very familiar with the cafeteria scene, considering one of my responsibilities at the school where I worked was to help with lunch duty.

The familiar metallic squeaking of tables shifting as people sat, the thumping sound of trays hitting the table top, and the tearing of plastic chip bags was music to my ears.

Kristy and I moved through the line together, chatting lightly about our backgrounds and how happy she was to be back. This was Kristy’s third year. Her first year she’d been a cabin counselor, but then earned her CNA and returned as the health center assistant last year. She was cheerful and easy to talk to, and as soon as we turned away from getting our boxes our eyes were caught by a red-head waving her hands at us from across the room.

“That’s Gina,” Kristy said as she waved back. “We were counselors together my first year and have stayed in touch. Last year she was mad at me for ditching to be in the health center, but we’ve worked through it,” she laughed.

I followed her to a long table in the back, and took my seat across from Gina while Kristy sat next to her. Gina was, in a word, tiny. She could pass as one of the campers. Half her weight had to have been from her hair. My friend Aryn had red, curly hair, but Gina’s was out-of-this world beautiful, trailing down her skinny back in waves of auburn. I wondered if she was part fairy, because being at a camp and keeping your hair looking that way definitely required magic. I met her gaze as I sat, and took note of the hazel color of her eyes, with swirls of brown and green, and a smattering of freckles across her nose and cheeks. Gina was adorable. Her entire vibe was playful and giddy, and I liked it.

“I’m Ruby,” I said as I squeezed into the small bench area. “The camp nurse this summer.”

Gina nodded. “Cole’s sister, right?”

“Yep.”

“I can see the resemblance.”

I smiled. We got that a lot. And we both agreed it had very little to do with us actually looking alike as it did with us both being half-Chinese. People lumped us together, and since we liked each other, we didn’t let it ruffle our feathers.

“She’s the one rooming with Nico Crawford.” Kristy leaned close and wiggled her eyebrows at Gina.

Gina’s eyes danced as she bit her lips together and looked at me with a grin. “You are so lucky. There’s a rule here against any kind of dating, and co-ed cabins are not allowed, but you somehow end up bunking with two hot guys. I want to live your life.” She wiggled her shoulders a little. “They are princes and I’m prepared to be their princess.”

“It’s more like Snow White and the Two Dummies. You do realize that one of those hot princes is my brother, right?” I replied, amused. “Kind of takes the shine off it. ”

Kristy and Gina laughed, before Kristy piped in. “We’ll give you that, but Nico more than makes up for it.”

I unwrapped my sandwich, and gave it a look. “Eh, I’ve known Nico since he was fifteen-ish.”

“Wait, you’ve known him for that long?” Gina whispered. “Have you two ever, you know . . .” Another eyebrow wiggle.

I took a bite of soggy sandwich and played it cool by not laughing at the very idea. Nico was the assistant director and I didn’t want to drag him and his personality through the mud with two of his employees, even though the temptation was strong. I’d learned a few lessons in my younger years, and one of them was not over-sharing with people I’d known for five minutes.

I settled for saying, “Nico? No way. He’s my younger brother’s best friend.”

Also, he was a ghost who I never thought about unless he was in the same space as me. I’d never, ever wanted to grab his face and plant a kiss on him the way I had so many other guys. I’d have maybe felt a prickle of guilt over thinking so poorly of him if I didn’t know Nico absolutely agreed with me. He looked at me like I’d crawled up out of the drain and needed to be studied by the National Alien Institute. (It probably exists).

Kristy and Gina exchanged a look, and I read them perfectly. Relief. The woman sharing a cabin with Nico wasn’t going to be a speedbump in their road to fantasy love. In fact, I’d basically just handed them a permit to hunting season. Their joy was so hilarious I had to take another bite of sandwich and settle for curling my toes in my shoes in order to keep from smiling. They were making my day. It hadn’t occurred to me that I’d be a party to all sorts of romantic entanglements this summer. I couldn’t wait.

“So.” Kristy turned back to me. “You probably know a lot about him.”

I knew nothing about him, really. I did know he was a child of a military father, that his mother had passed away when he was a toddler, and that was about it. And those few facts had come from my mother. Oh, wait, today I’d found out he didn’t have any sisters and that he’d been in the Marines until recently. These were all impersonal facts though, so, yeah, I knew diddly.

I shook my head because while I could have fun watching them crush, I didn’t want to lie to them. “I’m sorry, but I don’t know that much, really. I wasn’t living at home when Cole and Nico started hanging out, and he’s pretty quiet.”

Kristy and Gina shared another look. I’d disappointed them. They’d seen me as a drip-line of information, and I’d flopped. Then Gina’s expression shifted to calculating and she leaned forward.

“You could do, like, reconnaissance for us though, right?”

Oh, ho, ho, I’d arrived in my element. I was the empress of reconnaissance. I nodded and leaned closer to them. “What do you want to know?”

They mimicked my posture until our faces were closer than should have been comfortable as Kristy said, “What time does he leave the cabin in the morning? Are there regular places he goes? Give us a few hints.”

“Ah, the age-old coincidental run-ins game, I like it. I’ll keep my eyes open,” I said with a smirk and zero guilt. Maybe one of these girls was his true love and who was I to stand in the way? What could it hurt? If I couldn’t be in a love match, I could open the door for others. Look at me, so magnanimous! I dropped my voice to a whisper. “But we’ll have to play it cool. He’s military. Trained to watch for people acting out of the ordinary.”

They nodded rapidly at me and then we all leaned back as they turned to each other and gave a mini-squeal before their eyes flew to the other side of the room. My back was facing that direction, but I knew without looking over my shoulder that the topic of our discussion had just entered.

“He’s so dreamy,” Kristy sighed, her blue eyes seeming to glaze over.

“How tall do you think he is?” Gina asked. “He’s huge.”

Nico was not huge. He was shorter than Cole and taller than me, which probably put him at a very normal height of just under six feet. Gina, however, was a forest sprite, so everyone would appear huge to her.

“How often do you think he works out? Look at those arms.” Kristy sighed and propped her head on her hand.

“Ladies, you two aren’t playing it very cool,” I chided playfully as I tore open my bag of chips. They both snapped up so quickly I chuckled. “Staring might scare him away. Dreamy eyes are going to make him skittish. Lesson one, Nico is shy. You’re going to have to treat him like a cornered dog until he learns to trust you. Approach slowly and quietly.”

They nodded and focused on eating as Kristy said, “Right. Be casual.”

“Street dog.” Gina agreed.

Street dog? This was gold .

Casual worked for about five minutes until Cole slid in next to me and - you guessed it - Nico slid in next to Cole. Both Kristy and Gina looked momentarily starstruck before they became incredibly fascinated with their food. I tamped down on a smile and pushed my shoulder lightly against my brother’s.

“You guys really roll out the welcome mat with this luxury food,” I said, waving the last of my soggy ham sandwich at him. “I don’t know if I’ll be able to go back to my regular fresh-baked bread when the summer is over.”

Cole took an overly large bite of his sandwich and turned to me, purposely talking with his mouth open. “What do you mean?” He chomped, allowing bread crumbs to fall on his lap. “It’s exactly like mom used to make.”

At that I cackled. Our mom was not a sandwich maker, and as kids we’d been embarrassed about showing up with a home lunch box full of chow mein or tofu. We’d wanted peanut butter and jelly like everyone else.

Gina, appearing to gather her bravery, piped up. “I think the sandwich is good.” She paid for it with flaming red cheeks, but she held Cole’s eyes before allowing a quick dart in Nico’s direction. “I’ve had worse.”

“Haven’t we all,” Cole replied with an uptick of his mouth.

I crunched loudly on my chips. “You know, you can buy a lot of loyalty by feeding people well.”

“The way to a man’s heart, and all that?” Cole asked me once he’d finally swallowed.

I shook my head, my long, dark hair shifting around my shoulders, and grinned. “The way to anyone’s heart.” I threw him a teasing look while batting my eyelashes. “Besides, I don’t need to feed a man in order to get his attention.”

Kristy and Gina smiled and Nico kept his head down, focusing on his sandwich. He was still wearing that ball cap that shaded his expressions, but Cole was watching me with a smirk that signaled trouble.

He held his sandwich mid-air and put on an innocent look. “I thought you just broke up with someone. Maybe you should have at least tried feeding him.”

Sorry world, looked like today was going to be the last day that Cole Jenkins breathed. I seriously considered challenging him to a duel to defend my honor, but one quick glance at all the people around us and I chose to kick his foot under the table – hard - to alert him to the fact he’d entered a warzone and should watch his back.

“Knowing when to keep quiet is an important skill,” I mumbled. Then, I cheerily looked at Gina and Kristy. “It just means it wasn’t true love. Not every love affair can be like Elizabeth and Darcy.” I pressed a hand to my chest and sighed dreamily. “Love at first sight is so precious.”

“Who?” Cole asked.

I frowned. “Elizabeth and Darcy.”

Cole shook his head. “Doesn’t ring a bell.”

“Jane Austen? Pride and Prejudice ?”

“Is this a book?” Cole asked with a laugh.

“It’s not a book, it’s the book,” I gasped. I clasped my hands to my chest and looked upward. “And I quote: ‘ In vain I have struggled. It will not do. My feelings will not be repressed. You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you’ .”

Gina and Kristy were smiling when I dropped my head back down, but Cole was simply chewing his food and looking at me strangely, as though I hadn’t spoken words in a language he understood.

“Was that English?” he asked.

“Pride and Prejudice is more enemies to lovers than love at first sight,” Nico said so quietly we almost didn’t hear him.

But we did hear it, and all glanced at him. He shrugged, looking back at his hands before putting some chips in his mouth. I leaned around Cole to point at Nico.

“Bam. Nico has heard of this. He’s got a small point about the trope . . . although the only true enemy was Darcy who was battling himself because he’d fallen in love at first sight, and Elizabeth was simply responding to his negative nelly attitude. But that’s not what I’m getting at here.” I shook my head. “Reality may have found me single again, but not all is lost. There’s a Darcy out there waiting for me. In the meantime, I’m taking a break from love to find myself.”

Was I laying it on thick? Yes. Was I lying? Sort of. I did need to do some soul searching probably, but I was never on a break from watching out for love. Still, Gina and Kristy didn’t need to know that about me. I could not be seen as competition if I was going to play matchmaker. And I had always wanted to play matchmaker .

Kristy and Gina giggled, Nico watched me with his unreadable eyes, and Cole groaned. “Let’s drop the love talk, okay?”

I shot Kristy and Gina a look that said, brothers, am I right? , before turning back to Cole. “Anyhow, back to food. I’m talking about keeping your staff happy. You want good workers; you’ve got to fill their bellies. Tonight, expect an uprising.” I held up the big, thick pickle slice and watched as it snagged. “This pickle doesn’t even have snap.” To prove my point, I wiggled it up and down aggressively.

Nico’s head suddenly twitched and he closed one eye. He didn’t make a peep, but he set down the bag of chips he’d been working on and reached for a napkin. Sadly, he didn’t find one. Happily, Kristy and Gina both knew where napkins were kept and they all but tripped over themselves to go get him one.

“What willing helpers,” I chirped as I watched them hustle across the room. “They’re so caring and dedicated. You don’t see that a lot these days.”

“You got pickle juice in Nico’s eye,” Cole stated.

I looked around Cole to see Nico turned away, wiping at his eye with the collar of his shirt.

“Shoot. I’ll bet that stings. Pickling involves vinegar, and vinegar should never be put in your eye,” I said.

Cole scoffed. “Something Nico already knew but now has to experience first-hand.”

“It’s disappointing when someone gets a drive-by pickling,” I replied. Cole shook his head, but I was busy watching Nico who was blinking rapidly. I held up my bottle of water. “I am professionally trained in flushing eyes. Can I help?” I asked.

A clatter, and then a thump, caused our entire table to shift, announcing the return of Kristy and Gina. Between them they were holding approximately forty-three napkins. It was entertaining as heck, and I was going to get to watch this go down for weeks as I slowly worked to set one of them up as a potential love match for Nico. I could wait to see who pulled ahead in the race, and if Nico could warm up with a little flirting from some cute young women.

“No,” Nico said in his low, quiet voice.

I watched as Kristy and Gina sagged back into their seats. Poor little bunnies didn’t realize he was talking to me. I couldn’t let them feel shot down on day one, so I hurried to explain.

“Fine, you can say no to my eye-flush, but these two kind ladies brought you some napkins. Should I moisten one for your use?” I asked.

Kristy and Gina re-inflated, waving napkins in Nico’s direction. If napkins could beg to be used, these ones would win the prize.

Cole sighed. “Rubes, never offer to moisten anything, ever again.”

“What do you mean?” I made my eyes big and innocent, and he pulled a face. “Moist is good. Moist towelette, moist chicken, moist cookies . . .”

“Moist cookies?” he questioned. Before I could answer he held up a hand. “Nope, not engaging on that. The only thing Nico needs is an apology for flinging floppy pickles in his direction, he can handle his own medical care from here.”

“Oh,” I said brightly, leaning around Cole. “Were you trained in medicine while you were a Marine?” I asked.

At the word ‘marine’ Kristy and Gina’s shy interest became a blazing ball of ferocious womanhood. I’d brought them that joy, and I was proud of it. I was sure they were picturing him in uniform and I could admit it was a pretty picture. Scientifically and biologically speaking, of course.

“You’re a Marine?” Kristy asked.

“How brave,” Gina added.

“Nico recently retired from the Marines,” Cole stated.

He caught my eye and mouthed ‘knock it off’ to which I gave him my super best angelic look and mouthed back ‘what?’. He kicked my foot under the table. My innocent act fled and I smirked, kicking back. He sighed.

Nico, who did not seem to mind being talked about like he wasn’t there, took one final dab at his eye and then noticed the huge stack of napkins spread around him like a fan. His frown was slight, but when he glanced up for the first time, I could see that his eye was red. As a nurse I took seriously the idea of not hurting anyone, so I felt bad about actually inflicting any pain on the guy.

“Sorry, Nico. Guess the juice got away from me,” I said, with sincere apology. “You okay?”

He nodded and reached for his sandwich.

“You’re so courageous,” Kristy managed .

At that Nico looked up at her like she was speaking a foreign language. I squeezed my lips together and looked to the side away from everyone to keep from busting out a laugh.

“I probably would have cried,” Gina added, trying to salvage whatever was happening here.

My shoulders tried to shake with mirth and I held them down.

“Over pickle juice in your eye?” Nico asked in a skeptical tone.

The man who had probably been shot at, had explosions nearby, and had to use the earth for his toilet, was being called brave over a pickle splatter. I was going to burst if this kept going.

It did. They were both so happy that he was talking, that they seemed to not care that he was basically asking if they were teasing him or not. They nodded furiously, completely genuine in their praise, and took a few minutes to tell him about how bad paper cuts sting and that they could hardly handle stubbing their toes.

Nico’s dark eyes took them in, watching their overblown gestures and loud laughter without seeming to react in any way. He was a scientist simply watching a new species do its thing and casting no judgment on it whatsoever. That, in itself, was as interesting as watching the two young women get all worked up.

“Well,” I interrupted when I began to feel awkward for them and worried that we’d lose any shot at engaging Nico in the future, “let’s hope we don’t see too many pickle juice injuries this summer, huh?”

Cole stood and slapped my back. “Too true,” he stated. “See you ladies later.” He nodded to Kristy and Gina who had been called back to earth.

Nico stood and followed Cole, never having said another word, and I watched the moment that the girls realized what had happened over the course of those few short minutes.

“Did I tell a Marine that I hate getting paper cuts?” Kristy hissed, horrified, her fair skin flushing.

“Yes, and stubbing my toe is equal to losing a limb,” Gina groaned, letting her head fall forward, her hair covering her face.

“Don’t let us ever talk when he’s around again.” Kristy’s look was intense. “Like, ever, ever.”

I leaned forward and patted their hands. “You two won’t believe me, but I’ve seen worse.”

“You have?” they asked in unison .

“Yes. And half of the time, it was me putting on the show.”

I laughed, and they joined me as their embarrassment faded. We smiled at each other and resumed normal conversation as we finished our dinner.

Game on.

I huddled in my bunk the next morning as I listened to Cole and Nico getting ready for the day. My dreams had been filled with a romantic lake-side picnic after reading a few chapters in one of my novels before falling asleep. I laid in my bunk imagining a somewhat grumpy hero waiting for me in the pines and wildflowers, wrapping me in his arms to keep me warm during the cool evenings, feeding me s’mores around a fire, showing his soft heart to only me.

Footsteps moved toward the back door and my daydreaming was taken over by my aching bladder screeching in revolt as I listened to the door close. I rolled to my side, tucking my legs up against my stomach and cursing the fates. I’d waited too long to kick the guys out of the bathroom. Now, I had to make sure my muscles were holding tight before I dared to stand and tempt gravity to release everything. Ever since childhood I’d had to hustle directly to the bathroom when I first woke up, and up here was no different.

I kicked back my comforter and stuck out one leg, tossing my fluffy cloud of pink aside and leaped out of bed, zipping through the slit in the sheets and barreling into the bathroom . . . and straight into Nico’s back.

“Why are you here?” I squealed, gasping as my bladder twinged. “You have to get out.” I danced around in place, fully looking like a toddler with a pee-pee problem, while he looked at me in the mirror. “Seriously Nico, move.”

He turned around, his shoulder brushing my cheek in the tiny space, and in a supremely awkward maneuver we side-shuffled, somehow managing not to brush up against each other as he moved out and I moved in.

I let out a sigh of relief the second the door was closed tightly, and sent up a gratitude offering to the universe as I sat down. I made it. It was only at that moment that I realized Nico had been standing at the mirror with half of his face covered in shaving cream, holding a razor. His expression had been priceless.

“We need a schedule,” I called.

Nico didn’t reply, but I was sure he heard me. The cabin was too small for him not to, and I hadn’t heard him leave. Amusement had my mouth lifting. Poor man had not seen that coming.

I finished up, washed my hands, and exited the bathroom to find Nico leaning against his bunk bed, still lathered up and holding the razor. I laughed at his deadpan expression, which lightened a bit as our eyes met.

“You know, it’s dangerous to not empty your bladder when you wake. Bacteria can form, causing all sorts of issues. My health was at risk,” I stated. “A real S.O.S.”

He pointed behind me using the razor. “Do I have the all clear?”

I stepped out of the doorway and gestured for him to enter. When he’d taken his place back in front of the tiny sink and mirror, I stepped into the doorway, facing him and watching him in the mirror.

“It’s not going to work long term to have all three of us getting ready at the same time. Maybe we could write up some sort of bathroom schedule. From my observations, people have seen success with schedules. Heck, you were a Marine. You probably ate schedules for dessert.”

His eyes flicked to meet mine in the mirror. “I’m not schedule obsessed.” He went back to shaving, and I’m not going to pretend I didn’t enjoy watching. Men shaving will never not be attractive. “Is it actually possible to schedule around your bladder?” he asked.

“Easy. If you get up and out before my alarm goes off, we’re good. My bladder wakes up with my alarm. We both like to sleep in.”

He finished shaving and washed his face before replying. “You’re assuming I don’t.”

“Sleep in?” I clarified. He nodded as he dried his face. “Yeah, I’m assuming you don’t sleep in.”

“Cole sleeps in.”

“Yeah, and if Cole needs to, he can find a tree to use in the mornings. I don’t have that luxury.”

With his face dry, he rehung his towel and got his fingertips wet again before running them through his dark, wavy hair to style it. Delicious. He may have the personality of an armadillo, but he was not disappointing to watch .

“I think they frown on public urination at camp,” he replied.

I crossed my arms, my silky pajamas cool against my palms. “You know, I once heard about a woman who’d been married for over fifty years and swore her husband never saw her without makeup. She’d wait until he was asleep to wash her face, and then wake up very early to reapply. It sounds beyond exhausting, but if she could make it happen for fifty years with a spouse, then we can probably find a way to not have too many run-ins with the bathroom space over the summer.”

“There’s no way that story is true.”

“You’re a skeptic, I see.” I grinned as he moved on to brushing his teeth. “You are not a woman, so you can’t make blanket statements like that. Some of us are shy about our natural appearance.” He didn’t reply while he scrubbed his already white teeth. “Serious side note here, though, if a guy can’t handle your face without make-up, he is not marriage material. And no one really knows what goes on in a marriage, but I’m wondering if the issue was him being a jerk about her appearance.”

He rinsed and spit and then turned to face me. I backed up a few steps, realizing how close I’d been standing to him, and then realizing how completely at ease I’d been chatting with him while he got ready for the day. The thought had me taking a few more steps back in confusion.

He bit at his lip lightly. “A schedule might be a good idea.”

“Is that because you haven’t enjoyed me talking to you while you get ready?” I asked.

He shook his head. “I’m concerned for the health of your bladder.”

I nodded seriously, but my lips pulled up. “As you should be.”

He moved to leave the bathroom and I had to back up more to let him past. He smelled good. I didn’t hate it.

“So, you’re saying you won’t fight it if I come up with something?” I asked.

“Like you said, I eat schedules for dessert,” he answered deadpan as he walked through the kitchen area toward the back door. “Today is staff meeting. I’ll see you up there.”

I looked at the closed back door for a moment, wondering over that entire interaction. It had been so normal, with possible glimpses of a sense of humor.

I shook my head after a moment and got busy getting myself ready. I got dressed in jeans and a t-shirt, brushed my long black hair, plaited it into two braids, washed my face, brushed the sleep out of my mouth, and hummed softly while I applied a little mascara to my upper lashes.

Outside the chatter of voices making their way to the Bearadise Lodge for our first staff meeting, underscored by birdsong, brightened my mood further. Out there were happy people and beautiful nature, and I took a moment to remind myself that I did not need to a man to make any of that better than it already was.

I leaned close to the mirror and made a fierce face. “Listen up, Ruby Jenkins, you are done being in la-la-land over guys. You’re going to enjoy this summer, and become a better version of yourself, and you’re going to love the maturity.” I started to lean away but then thought of something else and went back in. “And you’re going to be super cool about Nico being your roommate, and remember that those tickles you got up your spine when you were standing close to him were scary ghost tickles. And you will not think about it again.”

I hummed as I made my way back inside my makeshift sheet wall, where I sat on my bed to lace up my boots before heading to the Bearadise Lodge to gather with the others, still humming my little tune. The sun was up, the sky was a blue-gray color, and I sucked in a deep breath, allowing the scents of pine and dewy grasses to fill my senses.

Today was going to be a good day. A new day.