Class Clown (The Thornback Society #4)

5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Ruby’s Truth: You’ll never be able to find a pair of good scissors when you need them most.

The main room of Bearadise Lodge was two stories tall, with a vaulted ceiling and huge log fireplace. There were couches and chairs, and a few small tables scattered about, and I could picture people relaxing there when they had free time. The big open room was full of lively chatter when I arrived, and I soaked up the feeling. As a full-on extrovert, I fed off the energy bounding around. Kristy had told me the day before that there were two counselors to each cabin, which meant there were thirty-six of them in total - all roughly ages twenty to twenty-five. Add in six cook staff, us two health workers, a maintenance crew, and Cole and Nico, and we had a good-sized group.

While scanning the room for Kristy, my eye was caught by a man wearing a maintenance jumpsuit and a face full of grump. I pegged him as closer to fifty. He gave off a surly, grizzled vibe that had me promising myself I would never clog a toilet or a shower drain while I was in residence. I would change all my own light bulbs and generally fly way under the maintenance radar. Unless I could get him to laugh. Then I’d feel like I’d won the lottery.

The couches and tables had been pushed aside in preparation for this morning’s meeting, and a few rows of chairs were lined up facing toward the fireplace. Cole was standing up front, framed by the gigantic mantle, holding papers and chatting animatedly with some of the other staff members. Kristy and Gina hadn’t arrived yet. The only other person I recognized at that point was Nico, and he was standing up front near Cole – not that I’d have saved him a seat or anything - so I took a seat in the back and observed everything, one side of my mouth tugged up as I watched. I was looking forward to watching Cole in a leadership role. When we were together it was mostly family gatherings at our parents’ home, where we quickly devolved back into our teenager selves, so this was a chance for me to see how the world viewed him.

Cole and I were four years apart in age, but we’d been extra close friends as kids. When I’d entered the last months of my senior year of high school, I had started to worry about how he’d do when I moved out, but that’s when Nico had shown up. He’d stepped in during the time when I’d been gone a lot with school, my part-time job, and my own friends.

I’d seen less and less of Cole over the years, and now there he stood, my baby brother, tall and with authority, looking like a guy you could depend on. Sure, his blue t-shirt looked like it had been balled up in his drawer, and his black quick-dri pants were probably a size too big, but for the first time since this adventure began, I really internalized the fact that I was lucky to share this summer with him. I’d been so caught up in the details of getting here, and my new roomie, and setting up the health center, that I hadn’t stopped to let that sink in.

Although I was going to refuse to do his laundry if he tried to pull that on me, and I would not be cleaning up after him either, and the first headlock attempt was going to cost him.

Cole called everyone to order and flashed me a brief smile as our eyes met while he scanned the room. Kristy popped into the empty chair next to me and gave me a shoulder bump and a smile in greeting. Today she had on a ball cap and her blonde hair was tugged through the hole in the back. She looked impossibly young, and I suddenly felt every inch of my thirty-two years. I liked to think that I was peers with the twenty-year-old set, but sometimes it hit me that I really wasn’t.

A wave of homesickness for my friends hit me and I had to swallow it back. They would have loved to be here, laughing and joking with me about the camp shenanigans that were sure to come.

“Hey, do you know where I can catch a spot of WiFi?” I asked Kristy. “I need to get in touch with some people.”

She nodded. “If you stand outside the door to Cole’s office you can get WiFi. Even better if you can get inside. ”

“Cole has WiFi in his office? That works nicely for me.”

Gina slid in to the last empty seat next to Kristy and smiled at us, her auburn hair pulled back into a thick French braid, her face clean and glowing.

“I love the staff kickoff meeting,” she said after greeting us.

“Me too,” Kristy added. “It so fun to see everyone and get the excitement going. Can you believe the kids arrive tomorrow?”

I did not share their enthusiasm for staff meetings. That was one of the bonuses of being a school nurse. Sure, I had trainings and certifications and those type of things, but I was rarely included in any regular staff meeting. Plus, I got to deal with body stuff all day. I was the luckiest.

“Okay, everyone, welcome,” Cole called out, using the same booming voice he’d used when one of my friends had come to the door and he didn’t want to hunt me down. I smirked at the memories. “As you know, our first campers arrive tomorrow. We’ve had multiple trainings, so you should know your duties.”

For the record, I’d had online safety training and HR compliance training, but none of whatever else the others had gotten. I supposed the only other training I really needed was the type I’d gotten at a university, so I didn't sweat it. Besides, I was a pro at catching up on things. Cole listed out the first week’s schedule of classes and who would be teaching them, cabin and co-counselor assignments - which would rotate weekly making it so all the counselors had each age group - and finally some safety reminders.

I tuned out. I wasn’t teaching a class, I wasn’t cooking food, and when someone disregarded the safety reminders, I’d be there to clean up the mess. Also, I get bored easily by meetings. Then again, when I heard him say something about porcupines in the area, I found myself curious enough to ask Kristy what he was talking about.

“Yeah, apparently there’s been a population surge,” Kristy answered me quietly. “Just need to be aware, and not get poked.”

“So, you’re telling me there’s a chance I’ll get to do porcupine quill removal surgery?” I asked, grinning widely.

Kristy frowned. “Let’s hope not. It would be like getting shot with 1,000 barbs that hook in your skin. Removal would be painful.”

Well, when she put it that way. Dream killer.

I contented myself with daydreaming about bonfires, and sing-alongs, and looking at the stars. And across that bonfire would be Nico with either Kristy or Gina, mouthing a thank you to me as they held hands and fed each other s’mores. I smiled to myself and sighed, relaxing into the picture and doing my best to vibe with the universe in order to make it happen. I was going to really make some people happy this summer.

Someone coughed and I jolted back to attention, only to make unexpected eye contact with Nico. He’d ditched the ball cap today, and his gaze was as steady and probing as always. I wrinkled my nose at him before looking away.

With the imagination bubble burst, I moved on to another favorite pastime – observing everyone in attendance. The division of young women counselors to young men counselors was fifty-fifty, which made sense because there were equal boy and girl cabins. I could practically feel the love affairs kicking off as they shared glances when Cole’s eyes moved somewhere else. I knew from the HR training that there was a no dating policy, because the campers needed to be top priority and dealing with break-ups and love spats wasn’t helpful. I also knew that none of them would keep the rule and there would be tons of clandestine romances raging all summer.

I couldn’t wait to watch it all unfold. Forbidden love = delicious. Even better? Forbidden love that I’d had a hand in through matchmaking = earthquake of euphoria. Oh man, my friends would love this. I’d have to take notes and find a way to keep them updated.

Most of the staff were watching Cole, but one or two had their eyes on Nico. I’d have to figure out their names and keep an eye out. As I kept scanning the room, I caught one couple trying to touch pinkie fingers, and as I looked away with a smile my eyes caught on Nico once again. He was sitting on the great fireplace hearth behind Cole. I didn’t know if he’d been continuously watching me since the first time, or if our eyes had moved the same direction and it was accidental, but my smile faded. Yep, there was that same look. He’d always watched me the way you’d watch a spider crawl across your wall, wondering if it would go toward you or away from you, and if you were going to let it be or take care of it with the sole of your shoe.

I’d stared back a couple of times when we were young, waiting to see if he would say anything, but he almost never did, and he’d eventually look away. I’d never understood his fascination with watching people but not talking to them. With watching me, specifically .

I tore my eyes away as quickly as I could and tuned back into what Cole was going on about. Thank goodness I did, because he happened to be talking about me.

“Lastly, I’d like to introduce our staff nurse for the summer,” he said. “Ruby is a registered nurse who currently works at an elementary school in northern Utah. She luckily has her summers off and was able to join us here last minute. Ruby has a lot of experience with children and their injuries, illnesses, and probably most importantly, their emotions. I’m guessing she’s seen as many cases of homesickness as she has rashes. We’re lucky to have her on our team.” My chest warmed at his professional and kind introduction. I shouldn’t have been surprised, really. I knew Cole loved me. But, still, it felt good to have my sibling saying those things. “And, if that weren’t good enough, she’s also my older sister.”

I could have done without the ‘older’ portion of that, but the fact that we were siblings seemed much more interesting to the group than my nursing qualifications, because every head turned to give me a once over. I waved and smiled at them, not at all flustered by the sudden attention.

“Isn’t he the luckiest?” I responded, and Cole grinned as a few polite laughs filled the air.

“I know she’ll do a great job.” With a last smile for me, he gestured to the seat next to me. “You all know Kristy. She was here last year and the year before. She’s a CNA, so she’s also well-qualified to handle medical needs and assist Ruby.”

“Will she kiss my boo-boos?” one of the young men asked.

Kristy flipped her head, causing her ponytail to sway, and answered on a laugh. “Not for a million dollars.”

A few of the guys slapped Trevor on the back while the majority of the group cracked up. I looked Cole’s way, curious to see how he’d handle these flirtatious moments, and found him smiling with kind amusement. I was glad that things weren’t going to be so strict that I’d have a real battle on my hands.

“Alright.” Cole brought our attention back. “The last thing is uniforms. Nico has them divided and labeled, so find the package with your name on it and make sure everything fits.”

“Uniforms?” I asked, confused, turning to Kristy and Gina who were already standing. “Nobody mentioned that before. ”

Gina waved a hand and smiled. “It’s no big deal. We have to wear a uniform when the kids are dropped off on Sunday afternoon, and then again at pick up on Friday afternoon. The rest of the time you can wear your own clothes.”

“Why?” I asked, standing to join them.

“It puts on a good front for the parents. Makes it all look official,” Kristy answered.

“Even the health staff?” I asked.

“Everyone,” Kristy replied. “Parents always want to meet the nursing staff to make sure their kid will be well cared for. It’s a thing.”

What kind of thing are we talking here ? I wondered. Was I going to be inspected like a race horse, have my flanks checked and have to show them my teeth? Should I carry my nursing license around with me?

“Please tell me there are sparkles on the shirts.” I crossed my fingers as we began moving toward where Nico was standing off to the side near neatly stacked piles of clothing wrapped in plastic. “Ooh, or maybe it’s a clingy red jumpsuit like the one Britney Spears wore in her music video!” They both blinked like they were not at all familiar with the red jumpsuit. Babies. “We could go around singing, ‘ Oops, I did it again ’ to the campers.” I did a little hip shake and hummed a line, but still they stared. “No?” I laughed.

“I think it’s green shorts and a white tee with the camp logo on it,” Gina said slowly.

“Bummer. My curves look good bedazzled.”

At this Kristy finally cracked a smile, and we joined the group searching for the plastic packets with our own names on the front. Sure enough, there was one with my name on it. I opened the bag and pulled out two white t-shirts that had the Camp Windsong logo on the left side of the chest, and two shorts in a park ranger green color – that special mix of brown and green that looks like baby poop and blends in with the woods. Zero sparkles.

I held up the shirt and frowned, looking up at Nico. “Who ordered these?”

“Me,” he answered, standing straight from where he’d been bent over trying to keep the piles tidy. He crossed his arms, defensive-like.

“Who gave you my size?” I asked.

“Cole.” His gaze skimmed over the shirt I was holding in front of me. “I had to pay for express shipping, but it looks okay. ”

I waved it around. “Does it, really? Because Cole hasn’t lived with me since I crossed on into my thirties and went up a size. That happens every decade, you know?”

It probably didn’t have to, but I wasn’t giving up my sweets, so, yeah.

His lips became a straight line. “Why don’t you go into Cole’s office and try it on to be sure?”

I tipped my head down to hold the neck of the shirt with my chin, and used my hands to spread it out across my torso, holding the sides up against my ribs. “I could probably pour myself into it, but then you’d have parents complaining about lewd staff members, and you could forget about the no fraternizing rule. Those boys would be following me everywhere.” I looked back up at him playfully.

He swallowed and shifted, clasping his hands behind his back, standing straighter, and clearing his throat. His eyes darted away. “I would appreciate it if you’d try it on, ma’am.”

Oh, fab, we were getting the ma’am again. “Fine. I’ll see what I can do. But if any seams rip, that wasn’t my fault.”

He simply nodded and went back to what he’d been doing before. I gathered up the two outfits and made my way down the short hall to Cole’s office. After locking the door behind me, I stripped down to my underwear and tugged on a pair of the shorts. They were a little snug, but manageable. If I only had to wear them for an hour twice a week I could make do. It wasn’t like I was going to be sitting, squatting, jumping, or eating with them on. Breathing was less strenuous when standing, allowing full range of motion in the diaphragm. I made a mental note to avoid lunging in them.

Now for the shirt. I got my arms in, I got it over my head, and I tugged it down. Getting it over my, shall we say, endowments, was another story. I made it happen, but it had the same effect as wearing a too-tight sports bra – everything loose was being squished together and pushed up toward my chin. Hi, I’m Nurse Strangle-boob , I giggled to myself. It was exactly as I’d predicted. The sleeves were so tight I could hardly move my arms. This would not work.

Some issues arose when I went to pull off the shirt to put my own back on. Mainly, those of strangulation. I couldn’t tuck my elbows in far enough to get my arm back out of the arm hole, and when I tried to lift the bottom of the shirt over my head, my arms were forced into handcuff position. You know, like cops do when they yell ‘ hands behind your head’ and they cuff a person right up against their skull, elbows out to the side? Hi, that was me.

I got the shirt back down, put my hands on my hips, and thought for a moment. I could either find help to strip me out of this nightmare or destroy the t-shirt. Cole was the only person I was close to here, and I think all sisters everywhere will understand why I went the direction of destruction. No way was I opening myself up to that kind of lifelong teasing. The Day I Helped Ruby Strip story would be told at holidays into eternity. Hard pass. And while I could probably get Kristy, just no. The lady did not need that sort of kick off to our working relationship. Could you imagine? Tearing your supervisor out of their shirt on day one?

I hurried around to the other side of Cole’s desk and opened drawers, searching for something to cut me free. I really had ended up in a skin-tight suit just as I’d joked about. Even moving my arms forward to pull out drawers was causing tugging against my shoulders. I should have trusted myself rather than caving to Nico and his stoic ‘ma’am’.

Finally, in a bottom drawer, I found a pair of scissors. They didn’t look very aggressive, and I wished I could have gone to the health center to get a decent pair, but regardless of what I’d told Nico, I wasn’t looking for an HR complaint. Besides, with enough sawing I could probably at least loosen some of the tension and tear it, Hulk style.

I decided to simply go right up the center of the shirt. I’d cut from my belly button up to my neck and go from there. With scissors open, I grabbed the hem of the shirt and began the process. It wasn’t going well. The scissors were dull, but I got a few slices into the bottom and yanked on the sides to tear it inch by inch. I had it torn to the middle of my stomach, directly under my monster uni-boob, when the door to the office opened. I startled, taking a step backwards and ramming into the side of the desk. I froze in place, my eyes large, as I grasped at the two sides of the t-shirt, obviously in the process of ripping myself out of it, and looked straight into the eyes of one very caught-off-guard Nico Crawford.

“What in the world?” Cole’s voice pulled me from staring at Nico over to where he was standing behind him looking over Nico’s shoulder.

I did the only thing I could do. I released the shirt sides, letting them dangle there like the opening to a circus tent, slammed my fists onto my hips, and glared .

“Don’t you ever knock?” I asked. “I know I locked it!”

Cole’s laughter echoed through the small office as he shoved Nico fully inside and closed the door behind him. He took in the scene quickly, and started laughing even harder. I folded my arms. Based on Nico’s reaction, folding my arms was a mistake. He blinked once and then abruptly turned to face the closed door. Uni-boob = one. Nico = zero.

“Do you need help?” Cole’s voice was strained with amusement.

“Yes, get maintenance in here to check your lock. It’s broken.” I huffed.

“Or, you didn’t actually lock it,” Cole replied.

I raised my eyebrows and he held up his hands in the peace sign.

“I came in here to change clothes, of course I locked it.” I gestured down at my exposed belly. “Looks like you don’t know what size I actually wear,” I gritted out, striving to keep cool.

I wasn’t mad, but I was embarrassed. It wasn’t an emotion I experienced often, and it probably wouldn’t have happened even in this ridiculous situation if Nico had laughed with Cole, but something about his flustered reaction had me wanting to hide myself.

“Sorry,” Cole rasped. “But not sorry either, because this is gold.”

Rats. My nightmare had become a reality. Our oldest brother, Porter, would be hearing about this from Cole before the day was out.

“Why don’t you two go away while I finish surgically removing this cotton straitjacket?” I motioned to the door, and when I did, one flap of the t-shirt fluttered, sending Cole into another batch of hysterics. Unable to talk with him, I focused on Nico, or at least his profile. “And you,” I said, causing him to glance my way over his shoulder before blinking again and jerking his gaze to the ceiling, his whole body going rigid, “next time a woman tells you the shirt is going to be too small, maybe you believe her rather than insisting she try it on.”

“Yes, ma’am,” he mumbled.

“Please tell me there are some bigger sizes available?” I asked.

Nico nodded, but remained silent.

“Good. Now, please leave. I would prefer to handle this alone.”

Nico zipped right on out the door, barely opening it wide enough to shimmy through. I was assuming it was about offering me some privacy from whomever might be in the hallway, which was a five percent redemption. Cole was slower to follow, his dark eyes still dancing over my predicament. With Nico gone I relaxed and a grin rose. Soon I was smiling along with Cole.

“Does this have to be discussed with Porter?” I asked as I adjusted the shirt.

He nodded. “Yeah. I’m afraid it does.”

“Same rules as always?” I asked. Meaning: no one tells Mom and Dad.

He nodded in agreement. “Do you need some help tearing yourself free?” His smile filled his face and he bit down on his lips, trying to be a little bit cool.

“Absolutely not. Although, do you happen to have any better scissors?”

He shook his head, making his way to the door. “Sorry, you’re going to have to use your Hulk strength to defeat the enemy.”

With another laugh he was gone and I sagged into the chair behind his desk. Of all the humiliating things. Nico’s horrified face flashed into my mind. He’d looked beyond uncomfortable, and when I realized he’d been as embarrassed as me, the last of the mortification fizzled. How funny to be such a strait-laced guy and walk in on your best friend’s sister attempting to cut herself out of a too-tight tee. Man, I’d give anything to share this incident with my friends. They’d find it as funny as Cole had.

The thought of my friends had me sitting up and grabbing my phone. I stood and snapped a selfie, getting my entire torso in the shot, torn shirt gaping.

Since Cole’s office had Wi-Fi, I attached it to a text in our group chat.

Me: Day one at camp, going great!

Then I picked up the scissors and got back to work. It took a few more minutes, and a lot of hacking and tearing, but eventually I was freed. I took off the uniform shorts before putting my own clothes back on and made my way back out to the main lodge area carrying the pile of clothes topped by the massacred t-shirt.

The chairs had been put away and no one was milling around anymore, but Nico was standing facing the fireplace with his hands clasped behind his back. It was a military stance and I won’t pretend it didn’t do some nice things for his shoulders and arms. Strictly as a matchmaker observing her client. (Yes, he can still be my client even if he doesn’t know he is.)

I walked up to him and broke the stillness. “This uniform isn’t quite right,” I said. He rotated to face me. “I’m going to go in a different direction. ”

One side of his mouth tugged up a bit and he gestured with his head toward a plastic-wrapped bundle. “Cole says you can have his extra set.”

“So, each of us would have one set rather than two?” He nodded and I smirked. “Oh, Nico, as Cole’s best pal you should know that is a terrible idea. He’ll need his backup sooner than later. We aren’t known for keeping our clothing clean.” I picked up the bag of Cole’s extras and looked at the marked size. “I feel like I’m Goldilocks right now. That shirt was too small, but this size will be too big. Do you have anything that will be just right?”

“I’m afraid not. I’ll have to order you a new set.”

“Either I’m saggy or I’m trapped for life. It’s a tough choice.”

“I’m assuming you’d prefer not to be cut out of your clothing again?” he asked.

His expression didn’t waver, but his tone sounded the slightest bit normal, so I smiled at what I was assuming was a tease. “Too true, Mr. Crawford. Fine. For now, I’ll rock the sag.” I hugged the clothing up to my chest. “I’m going to go back to Cole’s office to steal Wi-Fi and call some people.”

“Your dragon lady friends?” he asked.

I nodded my head and laughed. “Cole told you about us, huh? Yes. I’m tempted to invite them up here to show this mountain how to party.” I tossed him a wink and spun on my heel. “If you like me as a roomie, you’d love them.”