Class Clown (The Thornback Society #4)

12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

Ruby’s Truth: Purple legs will fade, but feelings might be forever.

Look, it pains me to say this, but I have it on good authority that once you tingle you can’t put it back in the box. I’m not saying a tingle happened with me and Nico the other night, I’m just saying if it had happened it would be super difficult to forget about it.

And if maybe you start noticing things about his hair or eyes, or the smell of his shaving cream, or the veins in his hands, or the way he always remembers to leave the toilet seat down, well, you can’t really be blamed. It’s nature’s way to snare us. Thankfully, as a woman, I had learned early on that nature can be shoved back into the box when we need to pretend nothing strange is going on.

Which was why I was currently sitting on the closed lid of the toilet in the miniscule cabin staring at my purple legs rather than allowing myself to think about those things. The problem – and by that, I mean the muscled ex-Marine who I can’t possibly name out loud – was standing outside the bathroom door rather than doing his circuit of morning exercises. I’d heard his routine each day, but I’d always been safely hidden behind my curtain and hadn’t bothered taking a look. This morning, when I didn’t hear the exercises start, I figured he was gone and I was free to exit my hidey-hole.

I was wrong. He’d been standing shirtless, sipping some tea when I pushed aside the sheets. His back had been to me, and somehow I’d managed to swallow down a squeak and hustle my innocent self into the privacy of the bathroom .

I hadn’t even sneaked a peek. And that was a huge warning flare. I was known for ogling. I was a top notch ogler. My friends teased me about it all the time. But this morning, I had respectfully cast my eyes away from what was most likely an impressive back, and blushed.

Blushed.

I didn’t know who I was anymore.

I’d breathed slowly against the door and stripped off my pajamas only to let out a screech when I’d seen my plum-colored legs. That squeal was a mistake because the shirtless wonder had knocked on the bathroom door and asked me if I was okay.

He was still waiting for my answer and the only thing I could blurt out was the truth.

“My legs are purple.”

“Purple?” A thoughtful pause. “I thought you said you didn’t fall that hard.”

“It’s not bruising, it’s from my pants.”

“Your pants?”

“The cute ones I was wearing on the hike. They’re brand new and I didn’t wash them beforehand. They smelled really bad when we got back from the hike and it looks like they dyed my legs purple.”

Why was I still talking? Even more important, why was I not laughing. This was hysterical. If I’d been with my friends I would have sauntered out in my underwear and shown them, and we’d have laughed together over it.

“The hike was two days ago,” he mused.

Yeah. So, warning flare number two. I’d had purple legs for days and hadn’t noticed. The situation was dire.

“Will it wash off?” he asked as I tried not to lose my cool.

I rubbed at my thigh. “Well, I’ve showered twice and they’re still purple.”

“But you didn’t notice until this morning?”

“Ugh.” I threw my hands up. “Stop saying things that make sense in a situation this ridiculous.”

Silence. “Any chance you got a concussion when your head hit that rock?”

I reached up and ran my hand over the achy spot on my head. There were no lumps. I knew the date and who was president and I didn’t have a headache, so . . .

He huffed out a breath. “Are you giving yourself a medical exam in there?”

“I’m a nurse. I start every day with a quick medical exam.”

“Shouldn’t your legs be part of a typical medical exam?”

“My legs always look great, I never worry about them.”

Oh my gosh, the words were getting worse. Now my left foot tingled which meant I could not fully rule out some sort of neurological event.

“My foot is tingling,” I called out. “What do you think that means?”

“I . . . don’t know. Was it tingling when you woke up?”

I shook my head to clear it. The word tingle had started this entire problem and we needed to stop saying it. I stood, banging my knee on the wall across from the toilet, and stomped on the floor.

“What are you doing now?” he asked.

“Trying to see if sitting on the toilet was cutting off circulation.”

Silence.

Gasp. Did I just allude to the possibility that I’d been talking to him while on , on the toilet? Oh heavens. I could fix this.

“I was using it as a seat, you know. Lid down, panties up.” Oh boy, why?? That was worse. It was getting worse. “Ignore that. Here’s what we know. My legs are purple and I’m acting slightly out of it. Ask anyone who knows me and they’ll say this is normal behavior for me. Please feel free to go do your exercises.”

“Rubes . . .”

I slammed a palm on the door. “You cannot be calling me nicknames right now Dominic James Crawford.” I couldn’t handle the familiarity. I heard him step away from the door and I gratefully leaned my forehead against it. I sighed. I’d probably hurt his feelings. I was starting to think he had some. “I’m sorry. I’m not myself this morning.”

“You called me by my full name.”

“I mean business, and I’m confused.”

His answer was a low rumble that I barely heard. “I know how that feels.”

I turned to look in the mirror and wondered if I was finally losing my marbles, because I’d never before looked in the mirror and seen someone I didn’t recognize.

That night I called Hailey. Hailey had been raised in the world of psychiatrists and therapists and was the wisest and calmest member of the Thornback pack. I needed her to remind me that both feelings and purple legs are temporary.

I sat in Cole’s office, looking at Stalker Quinn out the window while itching at my legs. The itchiness was more concerning than the color. I hoped I wasn’t about to launch into a fit of hives. Did hives come on after two full days? I was a nurse. How did I not know this?

It was after curfew, and both Cole and Nico were back in the Funky Bunks cabin, which meant I would hopefully be uninterrupted. I was wearing my comfy, worn-out pajama pants and a silky t-shirt that did not match, but the slippers on my feet tied it all together.

Cole had called them rainbow alpacas, and Nico had asked if I was actually wearing them outside. When I’d told him that I often wore them grocery shopping, he’d looked so horrified that I’d actually wanted to hug him. Hug. Him.

Nico. The strange robot man. He was worming into my life.

“Ruby!” Hailey answered happily and I found myself smiling at the sound of her voice.

“Hi, lady.”

“I’m happy you called. What’s up?”

I could picture Hailey in her matching pajama set with her platinum blonde hair still looking like she’d recently done it, her blue eyes happy and serene. Being with Hailey was like walking into a garden spa. She exuded peace, but she had a wit that kept you on your toes.

“When did you first tingle with Ford?” I asked.

Hailey’s boyfriend, Ford, had been the parent of one of her former students and it had been anything but love at first sight – for him. Hailey, however, had nursed a small crush on him long before they actually met.

“Hmm. I tingled the first time I searched him online and saw his drop-dead gorgeous face,” she replied. “Why do you think I kept looking him up?”

I laughed. “He’s sitting there with you, isn’t he?”

She giggled. “Yeah. But my answer would be the same. I was drawn to him without knowing much at all.”

“So you’re saying it’s psychologically normal to tingle over someone you don’t actually have any kind of relationship with? ”

“Sure. We’re hard wired to be attracted to people who we think are similar to us.” She paused and then her tone shifted into lightly teasing. “Proximity can play a big factor too. Please, please tell me we’re talking about Nico.”

“This feels like the right time to lie.”

She gave a little laugh. “There’s no room for lies in the Thornback group.”

“I’m trusting you with concerning information here, so please act accordingly.” She murmured agreement and I pushed on. “Nico’s handsome, sure, and we’re sort of together all the time which makes it easy to catch false feelings. But the thing is, I’ve never thought he had any personality and my goal this summer was to set him up with either Gina or Kristy.”

“Remind me who they are?”

“My assistant nurse and one of the counselors.”

“Right.”

“So, he’s the last person I want to tingle with.”

“Well, we’re also attracted to people who look healthy and fertile, and I’ve seen his picture. The man is both things.” A low voice signaled that Ford had thoughts on that comment, which had Hailey laughing into the phone, before playfully adding. “That’s probably the main reason I fell so hard for Ford.”

“Ford proves that middle-aged men are in their prime,” I agreed. “He’s a total catch.”

Hailey repeated what I’d said and Ford leaned close to her phone mic to thank me.

“Here’s the thing, though,” I said, getting more serious, “I can’t zing with Nico. I’m coming off a bad experience with Bodhi and I had an epiphany. I’m getting too old to chase every butterfly that tickles at my stomach. I like guys, and romance, and the thrill of the chase, but I’m also tired and lonely and, frankly, angry that I can’t find one decent, reliable, kind man who wants to take me into his arms for eternity.”

“And Nico is none of those things?”

“I’ve never felt anything toward him other than ambivalence. But now . . ..” I let out a deep breath. “I can admit that he’s kind of funny, and thoughtful, and yes, he’s reliable. The other day while I was getting ready for bed, I told him about my theory that King Kong is coming off some generational trauma and needs therapy and a cozy sweater, and rather than laughing he thought about it for a minute and told me he could see my point of view.”

“Oh, wow.”

“I mean, come on. That’s hot.”

Hailey laughed. “Totally.”

“But now I find myself tempted to buy a ticket to the same old romance rollercoaster and I don’t want to get back on it. I want to stick with my plans to come away from here better and stronger, while setting him up with a nice girl. How am I supposed to do that when he keep surprising me? What do I do?”

“Oh, Rubes,” she sighed. “One thought that has been a very helpful truth in my life is that feelings are temporary. We can flare hot, but if we don’t do anything to keep stoking that fire it will burn out. Sadness eventually fades, happiness does too. And love . . .”

“I didn’t say one word about love!” I cried. “This was a tiny zing. The littlest thing, really. And it was mostly the tea.”

“The tea?”

I quickly told her about our disastrous hike and how I’d come back to the cabin to find that he’d packed me a change of clothes and made me some hot tea.

“Oh, boy. That’s pretty tingly stuff.”

“I know.” I grumped. “But I’ve zinged before and been in some seriously strange half relationships. The zing is a liar.”

“The zing only shows you possibilities, but it makes no promises.”

“You’re right and I like what you said. Let’s assume that I tingled because Nico is a healthy male who would make good babies, and because we’re stuck in close quarters, but this is nothing more than ancestral biology and it will fade if I don’t feed it.”

“Do you want it to fade?” she asked gently.

“Yes. Nico is the last man in the world I could ever be prevailed upon to marry.”

Hailey giggled. “An Austen quote?”

“Obviously.”

“I love you, Rubes. Don’t stress too much about this. Just have fun living with an attractive man this summer, and keep enjoying making a new friend. He’s Cole’s bestie, it’s probably good if the two of you get along after all this time. Play matchmaker and then tell me everything. ”

I laughed, relieved. “Deal.”

A few days later I didn’t think I’d be able to keep my deal with Hailey. Today was reservoir day. It was the one day a week that the entire camp went and played on the lake. I had never gone because some poor camper had always been sick and I’d stayed back to care for them, but this week I was finally here. I’d been looking forward to this day. I loved water and its healing, soothing powers.

My legs were now faded to an almost pink hue, the itchiness had died off, and no hives had appeared. I’d gone onto the site where I purchased the pants and made sure to leave a review warning women to wash them first, and felt my communal duties were done.

Sure, I’d only gotten about sixty questions from campers and counselors alike when we first arrived at the lake, but I was happily wearing shorts as I waded along the shoreline, watching little swimmers and kayakers. Life was too short to worry about stained skin.

As I strolled along in the shallow water, the waves coming over my toes, however, I couldn’t stop watching Gina. After her injury she’d pulled ahead in the conquest for Nico’s attention. Kristy was now playing a supportive role and seemed to have graciously accepted it. The other female counselors had moved on to flirting with their male counterparts, and Gina had taken the opening with a ferocious glee I admired even as it made my stomach churn.

I wasn’t sure anymore that Gina was the girl for him. She seemed a little too . . . obvious somehow. Love was supposed to be a subtle dance, but she was out there beating it over the head. I favored Kristy and her youthful, kind-hearted way of being. The more I got to know Nico, the more I didn’t think he needed intensity. But Kristy had been bumped out, and I wasn’t sure if I should intercede or not. This was supposed to be my show, yet I was having a hard time finding any desire to keep it going.

I watched as Gina waved at Nico from her camp chair and asked him to help her to the water’s edge so she could make a sandcastle with the kids. She was adorable in a polka dot swim set and a wide-brimmed sun hat. Toned and tiny, and coming off like a fairy, the limp drew immediate sympathy - which I couldn’t begrudge her for. Her sprain would take some time to fully heal. And I couldn’t argue with the adorableness factor of making sandcastles with eight-year-olds. I mean, come on.

What I no longer found amusing was the way she insisted it always be Nico who helped her. There were adults everywhere, and older kids who offered to help, but no, she always had her tiny hands wrapped around his capable arm.

Sickening.

Nico was wearing his standard ball cap and sunglasses, and looked ahead rigidly as she clung to his arm with both of her hands. She was jabbering away, a big smile on her upturned face, but he looked like marble.

And I felt like a volcano.

A sharp sting on the bottom of my foot made me hiss and I looked down, wondering if Quinn had at long last shot me with one of his barbs. At this point I’d honestly welcome it, if only to have something new to think about. But, no quill was sticking out of my foot, and a glance around showed me that Quinn was sunning himself in a grassy spot that bumped up against the beach area.

I lifted my foot and pulled out a small pebble that had embedded itself. I wiggled my toes. No permanent harm, but to be safe I scowled at Quinn once more as a reminder that I was watching.

“What are you grumpy about this morning?” Kristy asked, coming down the beach. Her blue suit matched her eyes, and her ball cap shaded cheeks that had already turned pink in the sun. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you scowl so much.”

I pulled a face. “I stepped on a rock.”

“Is that all? To be honest, you’ve been a little off for a few days. Are you sad about something? Maybe something back in the real world happened?”

I blinked. I couldn’t possibly tell her that I was tied up in knots over my roommate. The one I’d loudly and boldly declared to be “ewww”. Thankfully, she saved me from having to come up with something.

“Are you missing your friends?” she asked gently.

I supposed this was a convenient way to redirect the conversation. While it wasn’t today’s topic, it certainly was true that I missed them terribly.

“Yes, I guess I am. I wish they could come up and visit me. They’d have such a good time here. ”

She chewed her lip thoughtfully. “I’ve seen family members come before. Never more than one or two, but Cole might be open to letting them stay in your cabin for a few days on one of the slower weeks.”

Nico and Gina were immediately forgotten as I grabbed Kristy in a hug. “Are you serious? Do you think that would work?”

She laughed and squeezed me tight. “There’s usually at least one week every summer that has lighter enrollment. Ask Cole about it.”

“You’re a genius!” I cried.

A few splashes of water on the back of my legs alerted me to an incoming horde of kids and I released Kristy, spinning around with a laugh as they began bombarding me with water guns and handfuls of icy lake water. It hit my chest and face as an odd sort of relief creeped over me. Here was something I could focus on. Fun.

I kicked water at them and gave a wild war cry, grateful that they’d attacked me and finished pulling me out of my dark thoughts. This was comfortable.

Knowing water warfare would happen, I’d come prepared by wearing my swimsuit under my tank top and shorts. However, the real stroke of brilliance was that I’d tucked two water guns into the waistband of my shorts and kept them hidden. I reached back to snag them and then flung my arms forward, aiming the bright orange and yellow toys directly at the kids and squeezing the triggers. They squealed and laughed as we all bent to reload. Of course, those using their hands to cup water and toss it my way were much faster, and water ran over my head and down my back as they kept coming full force.

“I will huff, and I will puff, and I will blow your houses down!” I cried as my water guns were once again full.

They all screamed and turned to flee while giggling breathlessly. Kristy had ditched, running up the beach to get away from it all, but I charged after them, the water splashing up around my shins as we ran across the shallow areas and eventually up onto the beach. We were all drenched and breathing hard a few minutes later, and one by one we held up the peace sign and flopped to our backs, sand sticking to us everywhere.

The sky was blue above, and I could hear the lake lapping behind the calls and cries of children in various places. I felt good. Free. In fact, I couldn’t remember what I’d been mad about ten minutes ago. This was it. Nature and kids. I didn’t really need to be worrying about anything else .

Footsteps sounded nearby and I saw Kristy out of the corner of my eye before she sat down heavily beside me.

“Gina is making a fool of herself,” she muttered. “Nico looks miserable.”

Oh, right. That’s what I’d been angsty over.

I took a deep breath. “Nico can handle himself.”

I wasn’t getting pulled back into the pit. The day was too pretty to be petty, and I had to start plotting a way to get my friends here.

“She kissed him on the cheek.”

Never mind, petty was on. I swung my gaze to Kristy, but she was still looking down the beach and all I could see was her profile. Her jaw was clenched.

“Yeah. There’s probably a rule against that,” I responded, still pushing back at the lava feelings that wanted to rise. “How did he react?”

“He said something to her, but I don’t know what. She kept smiling and he walked away.”

The lava was bubbling. My emotions were all over the place. I didn’t love the whiplash of it all. Gina could kiss Nico all she wanted. They were adults. Although, it shouldn’t be happening while on duty as co-workers. Still, I didn’t really want to get involved. I wasn’t HR. I was here to take care of sick kids and that was all. I definitely wasn’t going to picture Nico’s face and wonder what he’d thought of it, or if his scruff had scratched at her lips.

I’d wanted this. I’d plotted this for weeks now. So why did it feel like I had a thorn pressing into my chest?

I sat up and looked to where Gina was now building that sandcastle. Nico was standing several yards away with his hands clasped behind his back, watching the campers out on the lake. He was vigilant and ready for whatever he may be called to do.

A breeze ruffled his t-shirt and Kristy sighed. “He’s so good and making camp feel safe.”

She was right. He was also loyal, and patient, and had a sneaky sense of humor, and was observant, and . . .

I stood and dusted off my shorts, as I reminded myself that those tingles were liars. Sand was stuck to my legs and I could feel it in my hair. I’d spent enough of my life around water to know I could let it dry and it would dust off easily enough, but I needed a dip in the cool lake to reset my brain because, dang it, he really was so pretty. And I liked pretty things .

“I’m going to wash off,” I said without looking down at her.

I marched straight to the water, tugging out my pony tail as I went. I dropped my shorts and tugged off my tank top at the edge of the water, revealing my one-piece swim suit. I kept walking until I was in up to my chest. The water was cold enough that I’d had to force myself to keep going after it had reached the soft skin of my stomach and caused me to suck in a breath. I dipped beneath the surface and used my free hand to wash the sand out of my hair.

I surfaced, scrubbing my hands over my face and running them along my suit and legs to make sure I was as clean as I could be before moving to float on my back for a moment. I closed my eyes against the sun and let my breathing slow until I was too cold to stay in any longer.

I walked back out of the lake and snagged my tank and shorts off the beach. Hopefully they would dry quickly enough that I could dust them off later. The water was cold and I welcomed the heat of the sun as I headed toward the place where my towel was hanging on a camp chair. I noticed Nico standing nearby, and I fully paused, wondering if I wanted to even bother going that way. A shiver ran from my toes to my hairline, so I kept going.

“Cold?” Nico asked when I passed him.

“Freezing,” I replied. “It’s great for inflammation, soreness, cognitive function and mood.”

“Mood?” he asked, turning so that he was facing me. “You seemed to be having fun.”

I dropped my clothes on the chair and snagged the towel, then flipped my long hair forward and squeezed the water out of it before using the towel to squeeze it drier. After all, what’s the point of drying my body first if my hair will just keep dripping down it?

“I was, until I heard about you and Gina making out over here. Not very professional. People saw you.”

I both heard his footsteps and watched from my peripheral as his feet came closer. His voice was hushed when he replied.

“What are you talking about?”

I waved a hand, flipped my damp hair back over my shoulders and met his eyes as I started drying my arms and torso.

“The kiss seen round the world,” I replied, feeling heated again .

“There was no . . .” He paused and his mouth pinched. “She kissed me on the cheek, without warning. I pulled away.”

My arms were going to chafe if I didn’t ease up, so I relaxed my hands and moved to my legs. “Look, you’re both adults, okay. Whatever you want to do after hours, or on weekends, or whatever is fine. But not when you’re on duty.”

He frowned. “I did nothing wrong. She sneaked up on me.”

I raised my eyebrows. “Aren’t Marines trained to watch for sneak attacks?”

“Yes. But not kiss attacks. In what world do you have to guard yourself against unexpected kissing?”

His face was so serious, so confused, so irritated, that a flow of relief hit me all at once. He’d hated it. Suddenly, I found the entire thing hysterical rather than annoying. I snorted, and then I couldn’t help it, I stopped drying off and laughed as I hugged the towel to my chest.

“This is entirely your fault, you know.” I chuckled.

He shook his head. “How? I’ve been nothing but professional.”

“When you piggyback an injured girl out of the forest, it’s a given that she’s going to develop a raging crush. It’s romance 101.”

“I was supposed to leave her there?” He scoffed.

“No, you did the right thing.”

He gestured wildly with one hand toward the sky. “And now I have to deal with kiss attacks and you being angry with me for no reason?”

“How I’m feeling isn’t the issue,” I retorted.

“To me, it matters.”

I went back to drying off, ignoring the way that pleased me as I focused on my back, avoiding his eyes. “I’m not mad.”

It was a lie and he called me on it. “Yes, you are. Or were. I’m not really sure where you stand right now.”

“I’m middle-ish on the anger.”

“What does that mean?”

I glanced up. “It means that it could tip either way based on what happens moving forward.”

He firmed up his stance, going back to that military look with his hands behind his back and his feet shoulder-width apart. “What do you suggest I do? ”

I draped my towel back over the chair and began finger combing my hair. “I don’t think there’s much you can do about Gina, unless you’re willing to mar your face somehow, or take muscle softeners, or simply be plain rude.”

His mouth tightened and he pulled off his sunglasses to look squarely at me. “I’m looking for real answers.”

My shoulders raised and I grinned. “And I’m giving them to you. You’re going to have to find a way to stop being so attractive to her. If you want my opinion, it’ll be easiest to be a jerk. You know, be the guy I knew ten years ago.”

He was quick to rearrange his expression after I saw a flicker of surprise, but it had happened and it intrigued me. I couldn’t wait to hear how he’d respond to that. He took his time and I waited patiently, a rarity for sure, but he seemed to not know what to say.

“What do you mean?”

I patted a hand against my heart. “Treat her like you treated me. It was obvious you didn’t like me.”

His stance faltered, his hands dropping to his sides. “What are you talking about?”

I tugged my hair over my shoulder and got to work braiding it down my torso. “Please. You used to be at my parents’ house and never say a word to me, always quietly watching me walk around like I was something that should have been in the Guiness Book of World Records .”

“I’m an observant person.”

“Right.”

“I was too shy to talk to you, and you didn’t try to talk to me.”

“Uh-huh. Too shy to talk is different than staring at me with your lip curved in revulsion.” I made a face to show what I meant and he shook his head.

“I wasn’t repulsed by you.”

I hummed. “That’s good to know. Still, because of it I was forced to form opinions about you and I’m still working on the hypothesis that you’re an alien creature in a human guy’s body.”

He thought about that and I watched as he tapped his fingers on one hip. “This conversation has gone sideways. I’m not even sure what we’re talking about. ”

I reached out and patted his shoulder without thinking first. The solid heat of him under my palm gave rise to another zing and I was quick to pull my hand back. I cleared my throat and smacked my lips.

“Well, I think the takeaway is that Gina likes you. If you like her back, you’ll have to figure out how to live your love in secret. If you don’t like her back, you’re going to have to talk to her. Personally, I would have chosen Kristy for you. I’m pretty sure you and I finally cleared the air after many years, and can actually be friends now. Sound good?”

He shook his head. “What do you mean, you’d have chosen Kristy for me?”

“As your official matchmaker, I’d suggest you focus on her. She’s your best bet.”

“Matchmaker?”

I pulled a face at him. “It’s a service I provide.”

“What if I don’t want that service?”

“The ball is rolling, Nico. I can’t stop it.” I stepped into my shorts and then my tank as he gaped at me. “We did some good work here today. This friendship is going to be a solid one, I think.”

He shook his head. “This conversation was more convoluted than most of the military maneuvers I was involved in.”

The sound of a UTV caught my attention and I turned to wave at Cole who was driving one toward us. I was ready to get back to the health center, and he could take me there. I toed on my shoes, snagged my towel, and threw Nico a smile as I walked to where Cole had stopped.

“See you around, soldier.”