Clonely You (Sunrise Cantina #2)

Chapter 12

CHAPTER

TWELVE

MICHAELA

I don’t sleep well. How can I? I stare at the ceiling for half the night, my mind going through a dozen worst-case scenarios.

Aithar ruins a batch of butter. Aithar breaks one of the butter machines. Aithar makes butter better than I do and I feel like a hack.

Aithar and I have sex and then he dumps me.

My head is full of terrible things that could happen, constantly pulling new fears out. What if Aithar doesn’t like sex with me? What if I can’t let him do all the things he wants to do to me? What if I freak out and he gets disappointed and abandons me? What if he realizes I’m a terrible person and gives up on me?

After a few hours of restless panic, I get out of bed and stalk the house, looking for something to do. I eye the walls. There are no baseboards, but I wonder if there’s scrubbing needed anyhow. There might be dust trapped against the join where the wall meets the floor. I get down on my hands and knees with a duster, a sponge, and an old toothbrush and clean the alien version of grout until dawn. When that’s done, I eye my furniture. There’s an end table that doesn’t sit quite right on the floor…

The doorbell rings an hour or two later. I look up from the table leg I’m sanding, sawdust all around me. Is it time already? My stomach twists in a worried knot. Brushing off my nightgown, I get to my feet and crack open the door, peering out.

It’s Aithar all right, with a beaming smile on his face. He looks good, I decide. His uniform fits his body well and his hair has grown out a little, into a thick black cap of shorn hair instead of just a buzz. It suits him and emphasizes his dark eyes and chiseled features. He eyes me and his expression immediately changes to one of concern. “Michaela! You look exhausted. Are you well?”

I hesitate and then let him in, even though I want to slam the door in his face and tidy up before he can see the mess I’ve made. “I had trouble sleeping so I did a bit of work. If you want to come back, I’ll clean up?—”

“No, no. I don’t care if it’s a mess in here.” He steps inside my home and immediately pulls me into a bear hug. “Are you ready for today?”

“Am I a jerk if I say no?”

“Not at all. I would be surprised if you were looking forward to this day’s events with enthusiasm. You will be relinquishing control and that has to bother you…even if I do plan on giving you multiple orgasms.” He grins at me. “Look forward to that part, at least?”

I manage a small smile. Orgasms only happen when one is relaxed and I don’t know if I’m going to be relaxed enough at any point in this day for that to happen. “You bet.”

He rubs his hands together and looks around my home. “Why don’t you sit down and I will make you your morning meal?”

I don’t think I could choke down a bite. “Oh, I normally don’t eat breakfast?—”

“Nonsense. I am going to make you a meal. Today is a big day.” He puts his hands on my shoulders and firmly but gently pushes me into the nearest chair. “Relax. It will be ready soon.”

Oh sure. Just relax. I manage a small smile and watch as he heads into the kitchen.

My smile fades when he immediately pulls everything out of the fridge and begins to pick through it. He sniffs some of the fresh vegetables and the leaves fall off the roots as he does. He ignores it, and I watch as another flutters to the counter. He puts the vegetables back and grabs a packet of noodles, giving me a confident look before ripping it open with a mighty tear.

Noodles go flying.

“Whoops.” He gives me a sheepish grin. “Sorry about that.” He scoops up the dried noodles that fell on the counter and tosses them into the bowl, but there are remnants everywhere. On the counters, on the floor, in the sink…

Aithar continues, and I’ve never seen him make such a mess. Every other time he’s been in my kitchen, he’s been very careful with how he handles my things. He cleans the dishes the moment he dirties them and he’s a tidy worker. Not today. I watch in horror as he grabs a bundle of greens and begins to chop them haphazardly. “Aithar!”

“Yes, my heart?”

“What are you doing?”

“Making a morning meal for you.”

“But…” I watch as he cracks an egg and only half of it makes it into the bowl, the rest puddling on the counter. “You’re making a mess.”

“Am I? I had no idea. It’s fine.” He beams at me and waves the knife in my direction, bits of cut leaves flying as he does. “Just sit right there and let me handle things.”

“Are-are you doing this on purpose?”

Aithar tries to give me an innocent look, but he’s a terrible liar. “I would never.”

“You shit! You are! Absolutely!” I jump to my feet.

“And it’s going to be fine,” he reassures me. He tosses the cutlery down onto the now-dirty counter and comes to my side, putting his hands on my shoulders again and gently steering me back into my seat. “Now sit and let me take care of you.”

“But—”

“Sit.”

I thump to my seat, and he smiles at me and presses a kiss atop my head. Then he returns to the kitchen, where he continues to make a horrific mess. By the time he’s done, he produces one very nice-looking omelet…and the counters and the floors are a disaster. I swear he dirtied every dish, too.

“I made you a human dish,” he tells me proudly. “This is one Ruth-Ann taught me. Tell me if you like it?”

I glance over at the filthy kitchen.

“It can wait. The world will not end if there is a mess on the counter. Eat.”

Reluctantly, I take a forkful of omelet and taste it. Delicious. “It’s good. Thank you.”

Aithar beams as if I’ve given him the biggest compliment ever. “Keep eating.”

“You’ll clean up while I do?” I ask hopefully, taking another forkful.

He shakes his head, remaining seated across from me. “No. We can clean it up later.”

My eye twitches. “It bothers me.”

“I know. But it’s not urgent and it’s harming nothing, so it can wait.” He folds his hands and gives me an easy look. “Do you think it will rain today? It feels as if it will, but the weather reports do not call for any precipitation.”

He’s seriously going to ask me about the rain? He’s going to make small talk right now? When I’m practically vibrating with tension? But I guess he is…and there’s nothing for me to do but eat and try to relax. I take another reluctant mouthful, and it really is delicious. He’s cooked the eggs perfectly, so they’re not runny but not rubbery either. I keep eating while he chatters on about the weather and what the others are up to. Ruth-Ann apparently has beef with a local baker, and Salvotor has abandoned them to run someone’s farm while they’re traveling. Dopekh is not taking this well and he’s moping hard, so the others are trying to cheer him up. He tells me a story of playing cards and everyone else was cheating to let Dopekh win every hand. By the time I’m done eating, I’m laughing at his tales and in a better mood. I’ve even forgotten the mess on the counter.

Until I look over, that is.

I set my fork down and give him a bright smile. “So…now we’re going to clean up?”

“No.” He gets to his feet and holds his hand out to me. “You’re going to tell me how to make butter and I’m going to work on your behalf.”

Automatically I put my hand in his, because I love his touch. I love the feel of his large, warm hand grasping mine. Then I realize what he’s saying and try to pull free. “Hang on?—”

“No,” he says gently, and doesn’t let me go. “This is about you letting someone else have control, remember?”

“But the kitchen is a disaster!”

“It is. And I will clean it later. Right now, it does not matter. Dirty dishes can remain out and nothing will happen.”

I give him a mutinous look. “This isn’t making me feel better about the situation.”

“I imagine it is not, no. A lot of what we do today will bother you. Except for the orgasms.” He tugs me to my feet and leads me away from the table, ignoring that I’m dragging my feet. “But tomorrow you will wake up and think about today, and perhaps it will bring you a new perspective on things.”

“Or I’ll just wake up to a bunch of dirty dishes,” I grumble.

“Or that,” he agrees cheerfully. “I will help you clean, though.”

I’m sure he will. I’m also sure he will probably clean the dishes wrong, because I have a certain way of doing things. He’ll clean them out of order, and won’t put them back the way I like, and…boy, I’m really proving his point.

I hate that about myself.

Managing a smile, I try not to think about dishes or anything else. I ignore the fact that we’re leaving the dining room table dirty, and the kitchen dirty, and I haven’t made my bed, and there’s sawdust on the living room floor and on my nightgown. I need to let things go, like he says. “Let me get dressed if you want to head out to the barn.”

“No need. The weather is warm enough, and you look charming.”

I glance down. “I’m in my sleep clothes and bonnet.”

“Charming,” he repeats. “Come, let us go to the barn.”

“I’m not wearing shoes.”

“I will carry you to the barn. No worries.”

It feels strange and wrong to go outside in my sleep clothing, but what about this day doesn’t feel strange and wrong? I must ignore that feeling and get past it. I need to get comfortable with getting uncomfortable. I know Aithar is suggesting all of this to help me and I’m being a baby if I moan and groan about it. I paste a smile on my face and when I get to the front porch, lift my arms up so he can carry me out to the barn.

Aithar lifts me up into his arms easily and begins walking across the lawn. “See, isn’t this fun?”

I hold tightly to his neck as I bounce in his arms from his enthusiastic steps. “I don’t know if that’s the word I’d use, but I appreciate you helping me, all the same. I know you could be doing other things.”

“There is nothing I’d rather do than help you out, Michaela. You know you only have to ask.”

It’s that whole “asking” part that I’m terrible at. But I hug him because he’s such a wonderful, sweet person. “I’m lucky to have you, you know.”

“Hearing that is all the thanks I need.”

We make it to the barn and the sensor-automated doors roll open, letting the overcast day’s sunlight trickle in. The barn is empty, as the bots have taken the cattle out to the field for their scheduled grazing. The milk gauge shows that the tanks are full, which means there’s a lot of butter that needs to be made. I can only hold the milk for so long before the entire tank spoils, and I didn’t get anything done yesterday after I had my meltdown.

I move to the computer that runs most of the functions of the barn—so strange, to think that so much has been automated on a farm—and have it run diagnostics. There are chips on each cow’s ear that send back their stats, and all of them are healthy except one that is flagged as a “potential illness.” The computer prompts “Quarantine?” and I hit the symbol for “yes” and turn to Aithar. “I had to check to make sure everything was fine. There’s one cow I’ll need to check on later. If it’s sick, it’ll infect the others. For now, I’m having the bots herd her back to the barn.”

“What could she be sick with?” he asks, curious.

“Beats me. She’s a cow. I don’t know if it’s something in the air or something she ate, or something she caught from rubbing up against another cow.” I shrug. “The computer will tell us.”

He nods sagely. “So running a farm here is more utilizing the correct equipment than manual labor, yes?”

I shrug again, not trusting his reason for inquiring. “Why do you ask?”

“Because I know nothing about farms but I do know about using computer equipment. I’m sure I can help you.”

“I didn’t ask for help.”

“You would never ask for help,” he agrees. “But I am volunteering it. Why exhaust yourself trying to do everything on your own when your lover is freely offering to assist?”

I have no answer for that, other than I haven’t had a lover around before him. I’ve gotten used to doing things on my own simply because I’ve been all alone. I have to wonder, if Rafaela was here and living with me, would I insist on doing everything myself? Or would I tell my sister to help because it would be expected of her?

“Quit making me think,” I mutter.

Aithar laughs with delight at my cranky response. I’m glad he’s not offended by my mulishness. I don’t know what I’d do if I hurt his feelings. He heads over to the churning rig and puts a hand on the crank, looking up at the machine with enthusiasm. “Shall we get started?”

“We?” I ask, curious. “You’re going to let me help you?”

“By ‘help,’ I mean that you will be providing me with instructions and guidance. Nothing more, my dearest beauty.” He glances around and spots a bucket, then grabs it and brings it over to me. He flips it over and pats the bottom of it, a makeshift seat. “You stay right here and instruct me, and I’ll do everything.”

I sit, but as I do, I stare up at the nearest milk tank and the way the needle is hovering at the “full” line. That’s a lot of milk. That’s a lot of butter that could be fucked up. “But…what if you do it wrong? I get that you’re trying to help me, babe, but this is also the way I make a living.”

“You called me ‘babe.’” He gives me another adoring look. “It is the first time you’ve referred to me as a baby creature as a term of endearment.”

“Focus, please, babe.” I snap my fingers at him and gesture at the tanks and the churns. “I can’t take a loss on a full tank of milk, Aithar. No matter how much you want this to be a learning exercise.”

The look he gives me is patient. “I have thought of that already! I will purchase this entire batch from you if I ruin it.”

Just the word “ruin” makes me clench up inside. “But I don’t want you to ruin a batch.”

“Well, I do not want that either, my delightful dairymaid, so please instruct me well.” He gives me a jaunty, challenging look and leans against the churning equipment. “The more specific the better…but allow that I am new to this.”

I press my hands to my forehead. “Aithar, I hate this.”

He’s at my side again in a heartbeat, taking my hands in his and squeezing them tight. “I know, my heart. But do you trust me?”

I whimper.

He hunches down, forcing me to look him in the eye.

“Dammit. Fine. Yes. I trust you.”

The big alien grins down at me, all flashing white teeth, and pulls me in for a whirlwind kiss, as if that seals the deal. Then, just as quickly, he breaks the kiss and bounds away from me. “All right! Tell me what to start with first.”