Cocky Secrets (Cocker Brothers #29)

14. Sage

FOURTEEN

Sage

T he night air is thick as I step into our sprawling garage that doubles as The Cipher’s second home base. Sure, the living room is the most used, but the garage is where they spend a lot of time, and I suspect, feel most at home, surrounded by motorcycles and grit.

Flickering lights cast shadows that dance to Classic Rock along walls adorned with extra helmets, tools, shelves of fluids meant to make engines purr. The roar of laughter and clinking bottles echo around me, a stark contrast to the tension I felt from my family earlier. They think the ‘threat’ is over. They saw me give in. But did I? I meant it with all of my heart when I vowed that it’s Bear and I against the world. Now I just need an ally. Who better than the one most against us?

“Hey, Sage!” a few voices call out.

“Hey,” I smile, feigning being okay. My mind is a whirlwind of thoughts, and I can feel the weight of our earlier confrontation pressing down on my shoulders. I barely register their faces as I make my way deeper into the heart of the immense garage. It was once an extra building, maybe horses stables? Members of the club converted it long before my time.

I spot my brother Atlas leaning against one of the bikes, his muscular frame relaxed but expression serious. As usual. He’s always been my protector, the one who stood up for me when I was super little and didn’t have the toughness the others seemed born with. Since I became an adult though, his protection has become a leash. No one would suspect it, if I could get him on my side.

“Atlas!” I call out, smiling, approaching him with a hidden mix of hope and desperation.

He looks up, face unreadable. “What’s up, Sage?”

“I need to talk to you,” I say, my voice dropping to a whisper as I glance around to ensure no one else is listening. “It’s about what happened earlier.”

Atlas straightens, the easygoing demeanor shifting slightly. “What do you need to talk to me for?”

“Can we go somewhere else?” I ask with a shrug, like this is really no big deal.

Curious, he nods and we make our way out. No one even asks where we’re going because every single one of them knows that Atlas is my most vigilant jailor. There’s no way we’re up to something, other than maybe getting some food. Nothing suspicious.

My brother and I walk into the backyard, far from earshot of anyone, moonlight our guide. I glance toward the house, see Melody and Carmen illuminated through the kitchen window, moving comfortably around as they prepare tonight’s meal. Mom is nowhere to be seen. She’s been cast out of cooking duties after Melody tasted her pasta sauce and it was damn good. Too good.

“Alright, no one can hear us out here.” Atlas faces me. “What do you want to talk about?”

“I need your help.”

His dark eyes narrow. “With?”

“I can’t just sit around here like a prisoner. They won’t let me go out without one of you, and I can’t live this way anymore.”

He crosses his arms. “You know why we’re doing this, right?”

“I get it, but this isn’t living!” I plead, stepping closer.

Atlas sighs, running a hand through his dark hair, the long sheaths of it swaying where he gave up. “You’re with a cop, Sage. That’s a line we don’t cross.”

“Bear is different!” I insist, frustration bubbling over. “I think he might look the other way. Let you…do what you do! He truly cares about me.”

“Cares?” Atlas scoffs. “Is that what you call your little rendezvous?”

My hackles sharpen and I poke my brother’s chest. Hard. “It wasn’t like that. It was beautiful.”

“Sure it was,” he chuckles.

“Bear feels the same way I do. You saw him today! If he didn’t care, he wouldn’t have stood up to all of you ! He’d have run away with a coward’s tail between his legs!”

Atlas blinks at me, taking this in. “It doesn’t change the fact that he’s a cop,” Atlas replies, voice firm. “You have to understand where we’re coming from. We have to protect our secrets.”

“Help me!” I implore, my voice quiet, urgent. “You’re my brother. I need you to ride out with me, act like we’re going to see a movie or something. Please give me a way to see Bear.”

Atlas stares at me, “I can’t,” and shakes his head, unwavering determination etched into his features. “I won’t.”

“You could stay with us and play chaperone!”

“That sounds like a blast,” Atlas dryly tosses back.

Taking a step closer, I whisper, “Please help me!”

“No.”

I expected a fight but the weight of his refusal hits me like a punch to the gut. “Why not? Because you’re afraid of Dad? Of what the others would think if they ever found out you were helping me meet up with him?”

“It’s not about fear,” Atlas counters, shadowy eyes narrowing. “It’s about loyalty to what we stand for. You need to respect that.”

“What about loyalty to your little sister. Have you ever been in love?”

We stare at each other and I can tell by his expression that he hasn’t, but wants to know what that’s like. “You just met him, Sage. You don’t love the cop.”

“Look into my eyes and tell me that again.”

Atlas holds my gaze, his stiff shoulders softening. “I can’t help you. I’m sorry.”

“You’re the dangerous one, aren’t you?” I challenge, hope boiling within me. “You could secretly support me, not keep me trapped.”

“Sometimes support means making tough decisions,” Atlas grates, volume hushed and tinged with frustration. “We aren’t like normal people and you know that. We can’t just run off and do whatever we want without considering if it’s good for the family, for our missions, for everything we stand for. There would be consequences.”

“There won’t be any consequences!” I hiss under the heat of my emotions. “Bear and I have something I don’t know how to describe to you. But I’m going to try.” I touch my chest. “It feels as if there’s a string attaching our hearts that no one can break. Right now, it’s stretched tight, tense, scared of being cut, but it’s there. Help me loosen it. Help me see him. Not tonight,” I hurriedly say, trying to propose a reasonable offer, “But soon. We could just say you’re going to give me lessons in riding or…anything! Atlas, please help me. I’m not a Cipher. I’m just me. A woman with a heart that’s being called to by his heart. I’m exhausted from living in a world defined by everyone else’s rules.”

Silence stretches between us, heavy and charged, but Atlas’s expression has softened. Hope rages in me as he begins to speak, “Sage, you’re my sister. I love you.”

“I love you too!”

He inhales. “I can’t help you go against the club. It’s not something I’m willing to do.”

I take a step back, the weight of his rejection crashing down on me. “So that’s it, then? You’re just going to stand by and…suffocate me?”

He opens his mouth to respond but closes it again, uncertainty flashing across his face. “I don’t want to see you hurt.”

“I’m already hurt,” I whisper, my voice trembling. “This isn’t the life I want.”

“You feel like that now, but it’ll pass.”

I turn on my heel, heart cracking into pieces as I walk away from him. “No, it won’t.”

Atlas calls after me, “You’re not going to do anything stupid, are you?”

Stopping, I lock onto his gaze, mine unwavering even as I lie, “Of course not. You were my last chance. I know you’ll tell Luke and Sofia Sol I tried to convince you. They’ll tell Celia and Sean. I’m stuck. Everyone wants me to stay here and keep our secrets? Then that’s what I have to do.”

He nods, satisfied, and I spin around, leaving him there.

Their laughter and chatter in the garage grows louder with each of my helpless steps. As I walk toward the back porch of the plantation, to where Melody and Carmen are making dinner, the cool night air feels both vast and confining, countless stars laughing at me overhead.

What can I do now?