Cocky Secrets (Cocker Brothers #29)

56. Jett

FIFTY-SIX

Jett

“ F uck, this is beautiful, man,” I tell my brother Jaxson, as we sit over coffee in his renovated barn-house home, a toasty fire burning across from us. “This all reclaimed wood?”

He nods and points to the high ceiling. “Had all this redone. The frame is the barn that stood here, but the roof was useless. Those joists and beams there? I got those off an old church in southern Georgia. Preserved well because the townspeople cared for it more than their own homes back in the day. Place was being demolished, so I took the wood. Also the shutters you saw outside.”

“You do all this yourself?”

“Hired guys, but I was in there workin’ with them. You know me.”

“I was gonna say,” I smirk, intimating that my older brother would never let another man do his job.

He smiles, staring out eight feet high windows onto the farm he owns, dark green eyes filled with memories. “Pretty much every day they’d come back expectin’ yesterday’s job finished by me while they were home eatin’ dinner.”

I chuckle, because I can see him doing that. “I bet. Did they slack off?”

“Nah. Made ‘em work harder. They didn’t like me showin’ ‘em up. Got the job finished a few weeks earlier.”

“Fuck,” I chuckle, “That never happens.”

“With incentive, it does. Ego inspires.”

“That it does.” I set my cup down on his rustic coffee table that’s got a manly and solid iron foundation, and walk to the fireplace to throw another log on. “I could live here.”

“Why don’t you?”

Throwing him a look over my shoulder, I grab a poker and break up the charred wood. “You know what I do.”

“I only asked because I knew you’d say that.”

Laughing loudly, I toss a new log on and walk to stare at the view. It’s a foggy morning, just like back in Louisiana, and of course that makes me think of her.

“I met a woman, Jax.”

“No shit?”

On a long exhale, I mutter, “Yeah. Didn’t work out though.”

“She didn’t like you gone most of the year?”

Huffing through my nose, I shake my head, only seeing Luna’s face. “She’s a loner.” At his low laugh, I spin around and point at him. “Don’t say it!”

“Taste o’ your own medicine?”

“You fuckin’ said it.” I grumble. “And you should know, buddy.”

He shrugs and kicks his boots onto the coffee table, making sure not to knock over my cup as he takes a sip from his own. I love his style, not just in how he restored this old barn with the combination of rock, metal and reclaimed gray and brown wood, but also in his dishes. Those mugs have big handles meant for a man’s hand. You feel good drinking from them.

“I know I’m a loner, Jett. You know you are, too. That’s why it’s funny to me that you’re heartbroken over a woman who’s just like you. Not funny, but…you know what I mean.”

“Yeah,” I mutter, walking to one of the beams and leaning on it. “But those women on the road didn’t know me long enough to love me. They just loved the idea. And the sex.”

“They sure do get hung up on the sex, don’t they?” he mutters from personal experience.

“I don’t think enough men give it to them the way they want it.”

“Yeah,” he smirks. “Also women want what they can’t have. If they think you can’t be tamed, damn if they don’t want to lasso and tie you upside down with a brand on your butt.”

“Except the one you wish would do that.” We stare at each other.

“How long you know her?”

“That’s a complicated question. Gonna take a while to answer it.”

“I’ve got all the time in the world,” he says with patience.

Even though it’s only six in the morning I ask, “Got any bourbon?”

“Just talk.”

“Fuck,” I mutter, and launch into it. Jaxson listens intently, asking questions when he needs clarity, and dropping his feet on the ground to lean forward and soak it all in. I tell him everything. No detail is spared. I make sure to tell him all the good things about her, and the bad. I’ve been dying to get this off my chest. It feels like I’m dead inside. I needed Jax.

Known him my whole life, which sounds weird, but he was there when I was born. The others came after. We had some time alone.

The twins were a unit beneath us in age, so Jaxson and I have a closer bond than with the others. Growing up we were their leaders, but now that our brothers are all grown, I’d say none of them follow us in any way anymore. They’re all their own men.

Jaxson’s quieter than I am. He has a wise soul. Never asks anyone for anything. He’s out here on this farm all by himself and likes it that way.

I’ve got my club and we rarely stay in one place for long.

So while we’re both strong, we’re different.

But we get each other.

He understands that when I say Luna is the one for me, I mean it.

“What’re you gonna do, Jett? Made any decisions?”

“Yeah.”

“What?”

“Nothin.’ I’m doin’ nothin.’ She’s got my card and is charging up hotels and food, but I’m leavin’ it alone. She’s got no one. She’ll find her way. Get a job or steal the money. Hell, I don’t know. Probably steal it, I guess. I can’t see her workin’ under some boss. The only consolation I have is I know she’d never sell herself in any way. Hell, after what she’s been through? She’s only been with three guys. I’m the third.”

“No shit? Man, I have no idea how many women I’ve had.”

“Me neither.”

“It makes sense with her childhood. How old is she?”

“I never asked. Late twenties, I think. Looks like Penelope Cruz and acts like a Lynx in a cage after the sedatives wore off. And when she looks at me I want to eat her alive. I love her. I fuckin’ love this bitch.”

Jaxson nods, looking somber. “I’m sorry, man.”

“Just gonna have to live without her. I was doin’ that before we met.” Turning back to look at the farm, I mutter to myself, “Just feels different now.”

He lets me sit in it for a minute, but won’t let me wallow. Changing the subject, Jaxson says, “I told mom you were on your way. Called her last night before you got here.”

“You guys get tired of reportin’ my whereabouts?”

His normally serious face breaks out into a slow grin. “With a family as big as ours, we always report on each other, Jett. You remember how it was before you went on the road…” He smiles at the memory. “…that one time when Jason was dating Becca in high school and she took his virginity. Shit?—”

“—Jason told Justin first and then it was like three minutes before Mom hugged him and embarrassed the shit out of him by calling him a man!”

We’re both laughing so hard now that Jaxson stutters, “Jeremy fuckin’ shouldn’t have told her! But oh man, that was funny!”

“So fuckin’ funny! So good!”

“Jason’s face!”

“I know! I’ll never forget it!”

When the laughter dies down, Jaxson glances to the fireplace and stares at it for a while. “Wish Jeremy could be here for the wedding.”

“He’s in Syria again?”

“Yup. Just flew in. God better watch over him.”

Over the crackling fire a hawk’s distant cry sounds. As though it was an alarm for Jaxson, he stands and grabs up both cups, heading for the kitchen. He moves like a cowboy, real slow. Trustworthy. The layout is wide open so I can watch him over the stone island that houses four gas burners and a modern oven. In silence he pours more coffee while I turn back to the view and let the calm of the farm slip into my veins.

I wonder how my brother would do as a Cipher. The fighting would be different. He’d probably talk the fuckers we run up against, out of it, with his well-known powerful calm.

He’d never back down from a fight – I know that from experience. We’ve come up against some heat in the past. Atlanta knows the Cockers, and while most look up to us, they don’t all like us. There’s jealousy since our family’s blood runs deep in this city, goes way back. And money has never been an issue, which pisses some off.

None of our ancestors squandered what they made – there were no gamblers among us, at least not when it came to money. They invested and saved and grew into an estate that would be passed down.

We’re not the Rockefellers, but in an affordable place such as Atlanta, we’ve done well.

In some ways The Ciphers are like that, we live well but carefully. We don’t squander. We save. Hell, that’s one of Scratch’s main gifts, making money grow and last so that we have a foundation. He and Mona handle the Louisiana branch. They’re a team. Smart, together.

They’re gonna have to teach one of us what they know.

Thinkin’ on it, I’d be the perfect choice for them, with my history of caution. Overspending has never been my thing, thanks to my parents teaching me to respect the power of the dollar.

I guess that’s one thing my dad did, more than my mom.

He always said, “If you don’t need it, save the money for what you will need – or better yet, what you’ll really want.”

Great fuckin’ advice.

As Jaxson ambles back over with a couple of full and steaming cups, he cocks an eyebrow at me. “What’s with the smile?”

“I missed ya, Jax.”

With a thoughtful gleam in his eyes Jaxson says, “Missed you, too. This woman…what’s her name?”

“Sunshine,” I answer without even thinking of calling her Luna. “Though I should have called her Storm.”

He gives a low chuckle and takes a sip. “Wanna milk the cows with me? They’re gonna be hurtin’ if I wait much longer.”

“Fuck yeah, I do!” I hit our cups together. “Teach me how.”

As we head out, I cock an eyebrow at him. “Is this gonna make me think of her?”

Jaxson chuckles, “You’re sick.” After a second, he admits, “Probably.”