Come As You Are (Twisted Bard)

9. Sebastian

Sebastian

I headed downstairs to join Vee at the bar, my mind still on that moment in Olivia’s office where I thought she was going to kiss me, my body reeling from the abrupt dismissal. The tension between us in the office had been intense, and I was having a difficult time switching from my awareness of Olivia to having to act like my normal self in front of my friends. I swore I could still feel her watching me as I crossed the dance floor and took up a position behind Vee, but refused to look up at her office window.

Toby slid a bottle of water over the bar top to me, and I gratefully accepted it, hoping the cool liquid would help turn my thoughts away from Olivia and how much I wished that kiss had happened. But then I turned to take in Vee and realized my current state wasn’t only because of Olivia. If I were being honest with myself, this feeling had started when Vee broke down and Olivia and I cradled him between us. I had been aware of Olivia—I was always aware of her—but also of Vee and how much I liked having him in my arms. I wanted them both, and wasn’t that a kick in the ass?

The realization was so stunning that I didn’t hear what the others were talking about until Maria nudged me and asked, “So, how do you feel about that, Bastian?”

“About what?”

Laughing, Toby reached over and ruffled my hair. “He’d definitely need a wig.”

“Of course. And some gloves.” Maria picked up my hand and examined my nails. “It’ll be easier to cover them up than make these babies presentable.”

“What is wrong with my fingernails?” I asked. “And what are you guys talking about?”

“They want to have you go undercover at the Grotto,” Vee said.

“Excuse me?” I couldn’t have been more shocked if Vee had told me they were planning my wedding.

“Think about it, Bast,” Toby said, leaning in so his voice didn’t carry. “We know Orsino’s spying on Illyria.” He nodded to Vee, and I realized he’d told the others about how he’d come to be working at Illyria. Vee had probably apologized as well, if I knew him, and it seemed that Toby and Maria had forgiven him. “And we know there’s someone here who is working for him because that’s how Vee got hired. Doesn’t it make sense to give the bastard a taste of his own medicine?”

“And you think I’m the person who should do that? They’d recognize me in an instant. I’d never even make it into the club.”

“That’s why we’d put you in drag,” Maria said.

I took a large gulp of water before answering, trying to wrap my head around the ridiculous scheme the three of them had come up with in the few minutes I’d remained behind in Olivia’s office. Maybe that moment had rattled my brains more than I thought because the more I considered it, the more it made sense. If I could get myself into the Grotto, maybe I’d catch a glimpse of who our saboteur was or overhear Orsino talking about it.

“I’m gonna be a fucking ugly queen,” I said.

The other three laughed while Maria clapped me on the shoulder. “It’s not about being pretty,” she said. “It’s about having fun.”

I gave her a sour look, and she laughed in my face.

At that moment, Olivia and Mal came down the stairs. I hadn’t even realized Mal had gone in to see her, and I bristled at the idea of him talking to her while she was clearly upset. Had he even noticed? My bet was that he hadn’t, especially when Olivia looked annoyed at something he said and walked over to the bar.

“What’s so funny?” she asked.

The four of us looked at her with stunned silence since she rarely came down to shoot the shit. Running Illyria was a full-time business, and I couldn’t remember if I’d ever seen her sit down at the bar before the club opened. Maria was the first to recover.

“Some stupid fart joke Toby made,” she said, and I had to admire her ability to think on her feet. Olivia would never ask to hear a fart joke.

True to form, she smiled politely. “Ever the purveyor of refined humor, Toby,” she said.

He bowed his head to her. “I know my audience.”

“That you do.” She paused for a moment, her eyes finding mine and then shifting to focus on Vee, before she reclaimed my gaze. “I won’t keep you from your adoring fans.”

Olivia turned to leave us, but at that moment Festus came toward us waving a flyer printed on bright paper.

“They stole our idea,” he said and slapped the paper on the bar top.

We crowded around to read it, exclaiming with dismay when we saw it was a flyer for the Grotto’s upcoming drag queen pageant and wondering how they’d done it so quickly. Was it coincidence or had they found out about our idea? Our voices became a jumble of exclamations of outrage and despair as we alternated between cursing Orsino and wondering what we should do now.

Once again, Olivia’s gaze found mine over Vee’s head, and she seemed on the verge of speaking when Mal reappeared. He didn’t share our dismay about the pageant.

“It will be as stupid an idea at the Grotto as it would have been here,” he said. “So, I think it’s in our best interest not to have to worry about it any longer.”

I saw the way Vee’s face fell at Mal’s words and wrapped my arm around him. “It was a good idea,” I whispered in his ear. “So good the Grotto stole it, so don’t listen to what Mal says.”

Vee nodded, and I lifted my head to catch Olivia’s eye again, but she’d already turned away and was asking Mal to follow her back to her office.

“I fucking hate him,” Maria said under her breath as soon as they were out of sight, and we all agreed. “I’m gonna do it, you know. Plant something for him to find and make him think Olivia’s going to make him her partner.” She clapped her hands. “And, I know how to do it in a way that’s going to be a lot of fun for us to watch. I’ll give him a list of things Olivia wants to show he’s ready to take on a more active role in making decisions.”

“Like what?” Vee asked.

Maria thought for a moment. “Like suggesting that he get a different wardrobe for work. Something with more color so he doesn’t always look like he’s going to a funeral.”“And maybe a different hair style,” Toby suggested. He snapped his fingers. “With highlights or color so he fits in better with our customers.”

“Perfect,” Maria said.

They continued brainstorming ideas of what Maria would include in her memo, and I had to marvel at the simplicity of it. Plus, I was grateful it took the focus off getting me into drag. Almost as soon as that thought crossed my mind, Maria focused back on me. She tapped the flyer from the Grotto.

“This timing couldn’t be better,” she said. “They’ll be holding auditions this week. We can get you all dolled up, send you over there to try out, and it doesn’t matter if you’re completely awful—”

“Hey!” I protested. “Be nice.”

“It won’t matter because it’s just auditions. It’s absolutely perfect. There will be so many drag queens there, no one will notice you.”

I had to agree with her. The timing was pretty good.

Vee and I returned to my apartment. I was acutely aware of his presence, and he seemed to feel the same. We moved around each other cautiously, and I was ridiculously conscious of how much noise I made as I walked across the wooden floors. I’d never noticed before how they creaked and echoed no matter how carefully I stepped. Vee retreated to his room, but I heard him shifting on his bed, obviously trying to find a position that was comfortable as he played on his phone.

When I nearly asphyxiated trying to stifle a cough, I knew we were being ridiculous.

“Hey, Vee,” I called.

He came out of his room with an apprehensive look on his face. “Yeah?”

“You know you don’t have to stay in your room when I’m home,” I said.

He opened his mouth as if he was going to protest, then closed it and nodded. “I’m just not sure what to do with myself. When I wasn’t working, I didn’t really hang out at the squat,” he said, which made sense, and I fumbled for something we could do together.

“Do you want to watch Drag Race with me and help me find some inspiration?”

Vee’s expression brightened immediately. “Sure.”

“I have to admit, I’ve never really watched the show.”

Putting a hand to his chest, Vee looked me up and down. “Are you sure you’re gay?” he asked, and I laughed.

“Pretty sure on that score.”

“Good. You had me worried for a moment.”

He grinned as he followed me to the kitchen where I made popcorn so we could snack during the show. Butterflies swooped in my stomach even as I tried to tell myself his words hadn’t been anything more than friendly banter. As we returned to my living room and settled on the couch, I internally shook my head at myself. I was always confident around guys. Bartending at a gay club made it easy to flirt and find hookups, and I’d rarely been turned down by someone who caught my eye. But, somehow, Vee made me doubt myself.

As we settled on the couch to watch the current season, I tried to figure out why. Yes, he was beautiful. And, yes, he was young. I wasn’t that much older than him—perhaps six or seven years—but the gap between us felt enormous. Vee had an air of innocence about him, a sweetness, that called to me. It’s why I had wanted to protect him when I found him sleeping in the storeroom. But it was more than that. It was something indefinable that had flared to life when Olivia and I comforted him.

“Are you even watching the show?” Vee asked. “All you’re doing is staring at me, and it’s starting to freak me out.”

Whoops! I turned my attention to the TV and tried to follow what was happening. The performers were all so good and their acts so outrageous and fun that I felt overwhelmed.

“How am I going to do that?” I asked as one contestant did a high-energy act that included acrobatics—without losing her wig—and backup dancers who lifted her on their shoulders at the end of the number.

“You’re not,” Vee responded. “It’ll be better if you do a lip sync rather than something so choreographed.” He wrinkled his nose, which was all kinds of adorable. “Doing choreography is really hard, especially if you’ve never danced before. I kind of wish I got to work at the bar with you.”

“That probably wouldn’t be a good idea,” I said. The words were out of my mouth before I could stop them, but fortunately, Vee took them the wrong way.

“Yeah. You probably have to learn a lot more than how to shake your ass to make drinks.”

I laughed. I couldn’t help it. Vee blushed and looked so adorable that I reached out and ruffled his hair. He batted my hand away and growled at me to quit it. I threw a piece of popcorn at him, then he threw an entire handful at me and reached into the bowl for another. Grabbing his hand, I pulled him toward me. The bowl went flying, popcorn sailing through the air in every direction, but I wasn’t paying attention because Vee was now lying on top of me.

We were both laughing so hard, he bounced against my chest, shifting his position so his dick was pressed against mine through our jeans. Mine hardened in an instant, and I tried to bite back my groan, but failed miserably.

Vee’s breath caught as he looked down at me, his big, blue eyes staring into my own, and I swallowed hard. He tried to shift away from me, but I wouldn’t let him go. “Don’t,” I whispered and rocked my hips against his, feeling his cock—hard now—against my own. “I don’t know what I’m asking for, but don’t pull away.”

“Okay,” Vee whispered.

“Is this all right with you?” I asked.

“Yeah.”

The word was a sigh as Vee relaxed against me, bringing his lips tantalizingly close to mine. His breath ghosted my cheeks, and I felt the heat that rushed from his mouth as he parted his lips.

“Can I kiss you?” he asked.

So enthralled by the proximity of all Vee’s beauty, all I could do was give the smallest of nods, and then his lips were on mine.

My first thought was how soft his lips were, but then I opened my mouth to him. He moaned as our tongues met, and my hips bucked up of their own accord, which made him gasp. My hands pulled his shirt from his jeans so I could touch the silky smooth skin of his back. I ran my fingertips up the groove of his spine, fingernails raking lightly against that perfect skin, then tracing the slightly raised lines I’d left behind until I put my hands on his ass and pulled him closer.

We ground against each other, cocks trapped behind zippers and denim, but it didn’t matter. I felt Vee’s hardness and heat, knew he could feel my own, feel the need that pulsed through my veins with every beat of my heart. I had never gone from zero to sixty in so short a time, but as we continued to kiss and move against each other, all I could think of was how much I wanted to come.

With a gut-wrenching groan, Vee lifted himself up on his arms breaking our kiss. His beautiful face was flushed, his lips red and puffy, eyes wide and hungry. Though I wanted to continue what we’d been doing, a small part of my brain knew I should be the responsible one. I was older, and while I wasn’t technically Vee’s boss, I was part of the management team at Illyria and he was an employee.

At the same time, I wanted him, and he seemed to want me, and the blood that should have been going to my brain had detoured south, and… fuck …I couldn’t think about the reasons for not doing this anymore.

I put a hand around the back of Vee’s neck. “Are you good with this?” I asked, and it was Vee’s turn to nod.

“Very,” he said.

“Tell me if you want to stop. It’ll be hard, but I will.”

“I don’t think that will be an issue,” Vee told me and closed the distance between us once more.

His kiss was insistent, his hands pulling at my shirt like I had done with his, only he didn’t stop with lifting it, he wanted it off. I obliged by sitting up slightly, and he had my shirt over my head and off in a flash.

Vee sat back on his heels and stared at me. “Wow,” he said. “I thought you were gorgeous the first time I saw you, but—”

“Now you’re reconsidering?”

“Hardly. You’re fucking amazing.”

“You’re no slouch yourself.” I nodded toward him. “Can I return the favor?”

“Sure.”

I sat up and pulled his shirt off, revealing the beautiful chest I’d seen every night he was dancing and wondering why it had taken me until that moment in Olivia’s office to realize I was crazy attracted to him. Admiring the taut abs I’d already felt, and the smooth, creamy skin I’d run my hands over, I marveled that I had been so clueless.

Vee’s chest was nearly hairless, just a fine dusting of dark hair between his pecs and the thinnest of treasure trails leading below the waistband of his jeans. My mouth filled with saliva at the thought of being able to see and taste what lay beneath that layer of denim, but I wasn’t going to push. I could be patient. I could wait. Maybe.

As if we both realized that we’d been staring at each other without touching, Vee reached for me at the same moment I reached for him. We connected in a tangle of arms and mouths, but it wasn’t enough. I wanted skin. I wanted to feel his heat against my bare chest. I wanted him in my bed. Like right now.

“Can we move this to the bedroom?” I asked.

On the TV, an episode ended in a round of applause as if the whole studio audience was in agreement with that plan.

Vee nodded, and I took his hand and led him the short distance from the couch to my bed.

My room wasn’t much bigger than the one Vee was staying in, but it was large enough for a king-sized bed and a dresser. At the foot of the bed, we paused to explore each other’s mouths again. As we kissed, I put my hand on the button to his jeans, then broke the kiss so I could look in his eyes when I asked him if I could undo them.

Nodding, Vee looked dazed, so I asked again.

“Tell me,” I said, my voice deep and rough. “I need to hear you tell me that you’re okay with this.”

It took a moment for Vee’s eyes to refocus, and for me to be sure that he was actually looking at me. He started to nod, then stopped himself. “Yes,” he said. “I’ve wanted you since I walked in the doors of Illyria. I just wasn’t quite believing this was happening.”

“Only if you want it to.”

“I do, Bast. Believe me, I do.”

“Okay, then.”

I made short work of getting those jeans off him, undoing the button, then peeling them down his legs to reveal what I’d only felt that night we danced at the club. At the time, I thought we were only playing to the crowd, giving them a bit of a tease to boost Vee’s tips and mine. Now I knew it for what it was: both of us getting a taste of what we wanted.

Kneeling before him, I tapped each foot so he could step out of the jeans and be fully naked. I gazed up and took in the sight of Vee’s tightly muscled body. Sure, I’d seen almost all of it before, but not this close and not all the way from his toes to the stunning eyes that looked at me with wide-eyed wonder as I kissed and caressed my way up his legs.

I rose to my knees as I reached the part of Vee’s body that had always been hidden from me. People might say his go-go shorts left nothing to the imagination, but they must have more vivid imaginations than mine because Vee’s cock was a work of art. Freed from any confines, it was long and straight with a slight curve to the right with a wide flared head I couldn’t wait to have in my mouth.

So, I didn’t. I leaned forward and licked the tip of it with the point of my tongue tasting a bright burst of precum from Vee’s slit that made me open my mouth and swallow him. Vee gasped and put his hands on my shoulders to steady himself. That was all the encouragement I needed to take him to the back of my throat.

“Oh, my God,” Vee shouted as I continued to work him with my mouth and tongue. “Oh, shit. Fuck. Bast!” That was all the warning I got before my mouth filled with his load. I swallowed and kept teasing at him until his cock got too sensitive to feel good.

Rising to my feet, I took him in my arms and steered him toward the bed where he collapsed gratefully. I stripped out of my jeans and climbed up next to him, turning him so I could spoon him. Even though I was hard—almost painfully so—it was more important that I take care of Vee and give him time to recover from what seemed to have been an overwhelming orgasm.

“Do you want me to do that to you?” Vee whispered.

“Only if you want to.”

“I do. I just don’t know if I’d be any good at it.”

“You’ve never given a guy a blow job?” I asked suddenly worried that I’d crossed a line I shouldn’t have.

“I have,” Vee said, a note of defiance creeping into his voice.

“But…”

He sighed. “What you did was amazing. It didn’t feel like that when Brian did it to me, and I don’t think I did it right to him because he didn’t come.”

“Maybe he was being polite.”

Vee snuggled against my chest. “Maybe.”

I heard the wistful tone in his voice, and it spoke to me. For the first time in my life, I was more interested in learning more about a guy than getting off.

“Did you like this guy?” I asked. “Brian?”

Vee shrugged, his shoulders rising and falling against my chest. “I suppose. His family came up to Twin Falls every summer. They’d rent out a house on the farm next to ours, and we met when we were fishing. He was a couple of years older than me, lived in Los Angles. He’d already been with a couple of guys by the time we met when I was thirteen.” Another shrug. “I was pretty sure I was gay, and I was definitely attracted to him, so we fooled around. The first summer, we didn’t do much more than jerk each other off and kiss. We kept in touch, texted and stuff, and the next summer we went all the way.”

Thank fuck , the voice in my head said, and I told it to shut up. Vee was a consenting adult, so even if he’d been a complete virgin, I hadn’t done anything wrong. Still, I felt better knowing he’d been with other guys even if it was pretty obvious his experience was minimal.

“Did your parents ever find out?”

A third shrug. “No. Brian stopped coming up with his folks when he went to college, but he’d broken up with me at the end of that second summer, said he had a real boyfriend back home.”

“That’s pretty shitty.”

“It was.”

Vee curled in on himself, and I felt an unfamiliar need to ease his distress. “Not every guy is going to be a jerk,” I said, and Vee rolled over to face me.

“Will you be one?”

It was on the tip of my tongue to make a joke, to brush off his concerns and make some half-assed promise, but I couldn’t do it. The memory of Vee in my arms, of holding him with Olivia as he fell apart, was still vivid.

“I will do my best not to be,” I said. “I don’t have the best track record…”

Vee started to turn away, but I stopped him, raised my hand to his chin and made him look at me. “I don’t have the best track record, but something about you makes me want to try to do better.”

The stunning blue eyes staring at me widened, and then a faint smile lifted the corners of Vee’s mouth. “Thank you,” he said.