Cosy Nights & Snowball Fights (Little Duck Pond Cafe #36)

CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

By the time we got back to Sunnybrook, it was after ten.

I took Maddy’s parents home and dropped Maddy off at the house she shared with Jack. Then I drove back to the cottage feeling exhausted, my head banging. I planned to take some painkillers and go straight to bed, but after I’d locked up, even climbing the stairs seemed too much effort, so I sank down on the sofa with a sigh. The events of the day were spinning around in my head, getting all jumbled up in my mind.

I closed my eyes, feeling totally drained. My head was throbbing but getting up and fetching a glass of water and painkillers seemed an almost impossible task.

And then the doorbell rang.

I almost laughed. Give me a break!

Mick’s proposal and Sylvia’s response was the one good thing that had happened on a truly harrowing day that had tested me to the limits.

And clearly, the day wasn’t over yet . . .

*****

I dragged myself up with a heavy heart, knowing it would be Jackie, back for another round of pleading for forgiveness. If she’d managed to find out where I worked, she’d have had no problem tracking me down to my home address.

Well, my answer would be exactly the same as before. She might be my biological mother but I wanted nothing to do with her.

Wearily, I opened the door.

It wasn’t Jackie.

My head swum with confusion and – feeling suddenly light-headed – I held onto the door for support.

‘Laurel. I’m sorry it’s so late but I had to see you.’

‘Did you? Why?’ The hurt I felt was still raw, even after all these months.

‘Because I want to explain. Laurel, I’ve missed you so much.’ Jo looked down, the emotion apparently too much for her, but I just stared mutinously at her bent head. Here was another person asking for my forgiveness. The way today was going, Gavin would turn up next pleading his cause, then I’d have the whole trio!

At last, Jo looked up and I saw that tears were trickling down her cheeks.

‘Can I come in?’ she begged.

I sighed. Then I stood back from the door to allow her to walk in...

*****

Later, after Jo had gone, I remained on the sofa, the events of last December looming large in my head now.

I’d developed a technique to shut out the painful memories. Whenever my thoughts veered in a certain direction and I felt the horror building inside me, I’d watch reruns of my favourite comedy series or I’d phone Mum for a chat, and the panicky feelings would recede.

Tonight, though, it was far too late to phone Mum.

And trying to concentrate on a show on TV would be useless.

So instead, I sat back, closed my eyes and let the events of that day last December run through my head.

*****

I’d been feeling good that morning, excited because it was almost Christmas.

Gavin and I had gone out for dinner the previous night and when we arrived back at his house, he’d said that as it was so nearly the big day, we should open one gift each from under the tree. I remember being quite shocked at the idea. Christmas presents should be opened after breakfast on Christmas day. It was the law! (At least, that’s how we’d always done it in my family.)

But I gave in, as I usually did, and Gavin opened the new washbag and shower kit I’d wrapped for him, and then he handed me a small parcel which turned out to contain the tree ornament of Marvin from Home Alone , peering through the letterbox.

I loved it, and then of course we had to watch the movie, which was our favourite, cuddled up on the sofa. Gavin had a whisky, as he often did, while I did my usual trick of making a hot chocolate for myself to mask the smell of the alcohol. Gavin knew I couldn’t stand the smell because whisky was Jackie’s preferred tipple but he’d never think of not drinking it when he was with me. He was never very considerate like that. In fact, thinking about it now, he’d actually done me a favour when he betrayed me, although of course I didn’t think that way at the time. But looking back, Gavin was never the man for me. I’d had a lucky escape.

When I woke up after our night out, the main thing on my mind that morning was that my Jo was returning home from university for the Christmas break. She was studying nursing in Newcastle and I really missed her while she was away.

But she was getting the train home that morning and would be back by lunchtime. I’d phoned her the previous day and asked if she wanted to meet for a coffee and maybe a bit of Christmas shopping in the afternoon after she’d got unpacked and settled back at her parents’ house.

I’d been expecting her to agree straight away, and I remember being quite surprised when she said she couldn’t. She’d already arranged to meet up with someone, but she said she’d be free later that evening. Perhaps we could go to the pub for a catch-up? It seemed a bit vague. I don’t think I even asked her who the ‘someone’ was. I was just happy I’d be seeing her later because I’d missed our chats so much.

So I had breakfast with Gavin and we discussed our plans for the day. I told him I fancied getting the train into London and doing the last of my Christmas shopping, and he laughed and said I was an idiot for wanting to join the bustling crowds on Oxford Street, all doing exactly the same as me. But he knew how crazy about Christmas I was and how I loved all the fuss and the sparkle, so he offered to drive me to the station. He said he’d be meeting up with a mate for a pint but that he’d make dinner for when I got back much later.

I was in a great mood as I watched him drive off. I had a day of shopping ahead, Gavin was cooking, and I’d be seeing Jo later. What could be better?

As I stood on the platform, I had a change of heart about my destination. Gavin was right. It would be hot, sweaty and mad busy in Central London. I looked at the departures board and there was a train going to Tunbridge Wells, so on impulse, I changed platform and got on that one instead. It would be busy but not nearly as frantic, and I’d be home a lot earlier into the bargain.

As I got off the train home later, I was tired but happy. My Christmas shopping was all done. I could finally just relax and enjoy the festive season with Gavin and my best friend.

The lights were out downstairs when I got back to the house I shared with Gavin, and I presumed he must still be out with his friend, Mike. Perhaps they’d decided to grab a bite to eat. I was a bit disappointed Gavin hadn’t kept his promise to cook dinner, but maybe he was planning to buy a takeaway instead. You never knew with Gavin. He made plans and changed them just as quickly. That was just the way he was.

I was probably singing a Christmas song as I let myself into the house. They always continued to ring in my head after being in the shops at Christmas time.

I heard a noise upstairs and I froze.

Gavin was in? So why hadn’t he put the lights on? Maybe he wasn’t well and had gone to bed.

Suddenly concerned for him, I shrugged off my coat, threw it onto the sofa and ran up the stairs.

Our bedroom door was open and I could see movement within.

And then I heard a familiar laugh. It was muffled as if the person was under the duvet but that didn’t stop me recognising it. And that was the point at which my entire world went into freefall, crumbling with devastating speed around me.

I pushed open the door, and hearing the noise of the door on the carpet, Gavin turned. The look on his face was burned onto my brain ever afterwards: sheer horror, turning a few seconds later into sickening guilt.

He was naked, bending over someone else in the bed. Someone who clearly hadn’t heard me come in.

‘Gav? What’s wrong?’ She sounded drunk. Pushing the hair back from her face, she tried to sit up, peering around him to see what was going on.

Jackie.