Counterpoint (Hystoria #3)

17. Chapter Seventeen

Chapter Seventeen

“And then I put a toothpick in their doorbell, so it would continue to ring, and ran away,” Noel tells me, erupting into laughter, and I giggle along.

“Really, with friends like you, who needs enemies?” I laugh and hear Phoebe chuckle from behind the counter as well. I’ve been working at my new job for two weeks now, and I’m spending more and more time at ‘Flour Power.’ Their regulars are hilarious, and the way Noel and Phoebe interact with them cracks me up. Phoebe even lets me use her office if I have virtual meetings I need to attend. Which, luckily, aren’t many.

I still want to find an apartment in Windmeadow, but for now, I like this arrangement. Partly because I get to try all their Christmas treats, of course. I’ve snacked my way through all of their cupcake flavors now. Their cookies are next. I’m also not mad at being their human guinea pig for new hot chocolate flavors.

Meanwhile, Jake has found me a therapist. He is booked through this year, but we've had a brief phone call and I'm going to have my first session with him in January, which means that until then I need to manage the nightmares. They've become a bit less frequent, but when I have them, they're even more intense than before. I've found out that they occur less when I've completely powered myself out during the day – be it sports or exhausting my social battery by spending time with people.

Which is how I find myself at Flour Power often. The store is making my cozy winter dreams come true, and it makes work a hundred times better. So far, all of my coworkers are super nice as well. All of them are women, and I’ve never liked working with a team more. Either we are super in tune with each other, or all of us are just really damn effective and good at what we do. Maybe a mix of both.

Noel continues telling me the story of how he got his friends back for egging his car. It seems they’re a group of pranksters who like to one-up each other, and the stories are fun to hear, but God, I’m so glad I don’t have any friends like that. That must be exhausting.

But while he talks, my attention wanders elsewhere. Namely the chiming doorbell and the man that enters ‘Flour Power.’ My eyes narrow at the figure when I realise who it is.

I don’t know if I thought he’d just leave me alone if I ignored him long enough. I continued to burn his letters and stow the presents he sent in Grandma’s attic, except for the hot chocolates. No, those went straight into one of Grandma’s pots and into my tummy. What can I say? I’m a sucker for winter drinks.

Now, Si is standing in the doorway of ‘Flour Power’, looking comically large. My eyes grow wide, and I quickly duck behind the wall and out of his sight. What the hell is he doing here?

I really want to be indifferent to his outburst, but apparently, my emotions don’t work that way. Anger brews in my chest, and my thoughts go right back to the way he talked to me. So indifferent. Arrogant. Downright patronising. It stung. Still hurts, actually. And I’m not sure if I’m at a point where I want to rehash it.

Phoebe catches my eye from behind the counter, raising her eyebrow in question as she notices my annoyed gaze. Yeah, no. I don’t want to talk to him, and I’m bold enough to assume that’s what he’s here for. I hold up my phone and type her a message.

Harper : Simon. I’m leaving.

Phoebe : Use the door in the back. I’ve never seen you here. See you tomorrow!

Harper : You’re an angel.

Noel’s face scrunches up, confused, when I suddenly gather my stuff and tell him goodbye hastily. I’m sure Phoebe will fill him in later.

I feel like a spy as I sneak my way to the back office door and make a swift exit. Call me Jane Bond, Ninja Assassin. My shoulder catches against the doorframe, and I bite my lip to not yelp. Okay, maybe I am not quite a ninja. Maybe.

Either way, I’m out of ‘Flour Power’ now, the cold air stinging on my red cheeks. Then I realise I still need to go past the front of the shop to get to Lola. Shit, Si must have seen her before he entered.

Big deal. I roll my eyes. I am unbothered. So damn unbothered, I’m not even going to look into the bakery as I walk by it with very fast steps. I stop at the corner of the street and take a deep breath. Then I fucking run to Lola and jump inside her, starting the engine before I’ve even buckled myself in and speed away. As fast as my old girl allows me to, anyway. I only take a deep breath once I’ve rounded two corners and ‘Flour Power’ is far out of sight.

But then it hits me. He’s seen Lola parked in front of the bakery. He knows I was there. Goddamnit.

I sigh in frustration. At the same exact moment, my phone starts ringing.

“Whaddup, sis?” my brother shouts into the phone, and I startle, holding the phone away from my ear. It sounds like he’s in a room where people are shouting at each other.

“Why are you shouting?” I scream right back because I’m a petty bitch and put the phone on loudspeaker.

“I’m not,” he yells, and I roll my eyes. I hear some rustling on his end of the line, then what I assume is a door slamming shut, and finally, his end of the line becomes silent. “Sorry, I was at a photo shoot.”

“And you couldn’t find a quiet spot before calling me?” I wonder and hear him chuckling.

“Sorry, sorry, it’s kind of urgent. We’ve lost a band member.” I furrow my eyebrows, not making sense of what he’s saying. Is he drunk?

“What do you mean?” I ask him, taking the corner to Grandma’s street.

“We have no idea where Si is.”

“And you thought I was the one to ask?”

“The two of you seem to have a new, special connection.” His words are filled with innuendo, and I can see him right in my mind, wiggling his eyebrows. Oh, how I regret ever telling him.

“Well, luckily for you, I do have an idea where your lost member is.” I look over my shoulder to check for traffic and turn into Grandma’s driveway. “He’s in Windmeadow.”

“Really?” He actually sounds surprised. “What the hell is he doing there?”

“How the hell would I know?” I roll my eyes. “He walked into ‘Flour Power’ like he owned the place, and I left. I didn’t exactly stick around and talk to him.”

“You’re still holding a grudge?” Jake asks. “It’s been a while since you last held one this long.”

“It’s been two weeks, Jake. That’s not very long. Why would I not hold a grudge?” I kill the engine and unbuckle myself, but don’t get out just yet. “That guy slept with me, then turned around and all but told me he actually despises me. Can you imagine how fucking humiliating that is?”

“I know that he must be kicking his own ass right now for saying dumb shit,” he grumbles. “I should know.”

“You should?”

“Yeah, I put my foot in my mouth in a similar manner when I started dating Layla,” he admits. He sounds really embarrassed, so naturally, I want to know more. “She overheard me telling Nathan that she’s easy. After Nathan tore me a new one and blocked me, I had to get creative. That’s how we got Starshine, actually. I can’t believe I never told you.”

“You bought him for her to win her back?”

“I adopted him,” he confirms. “And I’m a damn lucky guy. I think if I was her, I wouldn’t take me back. Thank God she’s a better human than I am.”

“Yeah, thank God for that,” I tease him and laugh, leaning back in my seat. “Is your girlfriend around?”

“Yeah, hold on a second.”

Again, there’s some rustling on his side of the line, and I wait patiently until Layla’s sweet voice answers the phone.

“Hey, Harper,” she says sweetly, and I instinctively start to smile.

“Hi, Layla. So I just heard from my brother how hard he fucked up when you started dating, and I need your advice,” I get straight to the point.

“Oh,” she giggles. “Sure. What’s going on?”

“Why did you forgive him?” I burst out, followed by a few moments of silence on the line.

“That’s a tough question,” she finally admits and takes a few more moments to think. “Honestly, I don’t think I can pinpoint it for you. It just felt right.”

“What do you mean?” ‘Felt right’ is not helpful advice at all.

“All of his apologies seemed genuine to me. I took a step back and realised that I would much rather try to believe him and risk heartbreak than miss my chance with him entirely over the chance he could do it again.” She sounds downright dreamy as she says it. “I’m not going to lie and tell you it’s easy.” Her voice turns serious. “Once the trust was gone, it was incredibly hard for him to gain it back. He still hasn’t completely. But he’s fighting for it, and that means a lot.”

“Hm. Somehow, I’m in an eerily similar situation.” I chuckle. “Only that this is the second time he’s broken my trust.”

“That’s different. I understand why you’re hesitating,” she says softly and takes another moment to think. “Wait. Are we talking about Si?” she suddenly asks and bursts out giggling.

“What’s so funny?” I ask as I gaze into the distance, trying to make sense of her.

“Did Jake already tell you?” I hear him shout something in the background. “You haven’t? Oh, can I tell her, please?” Another shout I can’t make out. “Oh hell no, I’m going to tell her, and you can’t stop me.” Now I’m curious. I hear her running, and heavy breaths blow into the phone’s microphone. “Have you checked the news, Harper? Did you see that Si and Jake beat up your ex?”

“They did what?” I exclaim, my eyes growing wide.

“I don’t know the details, but they fought each other, and it landed Tom in jail.” She giggles. “He looked pretty beaten up.” Good.

“Serves him right,” I grunt and make a mental note to look it up later. A mugshot of a beaten-up Tom might just make my day. “Thank you, Layla. I’m still not sure which way this will go, but you’ve helped. Seriously, thank you.”

“You’re welcome. Make sure to name your first child after me.” I shake my head at her antics and chuckle.

“Bye, Layla,” I say and hang up the phone. Well, that was very helpful. Actually, not at all, though. She said something about Jake having to earn her trust back, but did I ever trust Simon to begin with?

Well, I guess I trusted him enough to fuck me into oblivion. How well does that translate into real life, though? And do I want it to translate into real life? Could we be friends after everything that’s happened between us?

Let’s be real; my crush on him came back with a vengeance. At least up to the point where he hurled insults at me in my own damn car. Then again, an incident like that didn’t stop me from continuing to fawn over him like a lovesick teenager the last time. That might have been because I was literally a lovesick teenager, though.

Somehow, that fuckface weaseled his way into my heart, and I can’t get him out, no matter what I try. I don’t even think I’m angry enough at him because my dumb little heart still continues to flutter when I think about him.

Do I never want to see him again, though? Will I always wonder what could have been if I forgave him once again? At some point, apologies aren’t going to cut it anymore, not if the same thing happens over and over again, and I’m already seeing a pattern. He’s on the second strike already. Can I afford a third? Do I want to?

Decisions, decisions. The rough kind of decisions you need to make as an adult. As much as his remark hurt when I was a teen, it wasn’t that serious. We were young; life wasn’t that serious.

But now it is. And I’m not ready to get hurt again so soon. So what the hell am I going to do?

I sleep on a decision for two days, yet at the end of day two, I am none the wiser. I can’t run from a decision forever, though, so I decide to improvise.

That’s my plan until I enter ‘Flour Power.’ Once I take a seat at my usual spot, however, any plans fly out the beautifully decorated window, which makes me glad that I didn’t have one to begin with.

Just like I thought, it doesn’t take long for Si to appear. Phoebe kept me updated, telling me when he came to the café and how long he stayed. Of course, he didn’t buy that I’d never been there. Since Noel is friendly with everyone, he involved him in a bunch of small talk with the purpose of scaring him off, a devious plan that yours truly came up with, but Si sat through it like a champion. Through the course of it, Noel learned that Si intended to be back every day until I sit down and talk to him.

So, today is that day.

My fingers tap on the table nervously as I wait for him to find me. I wanted to have a bit of a buffer to prepare myself emotionally, but instead it only made me more nervous.

He scans the tables, his eyes widening slightly when he finds me. The instant he spots me, my heart starts beating in my chest furiously, and at the same time, my stomach drops, and I take a deep breath to calm my nerves.

Without any hesitation, he marches over to my table, his eyes not leaving me as though I’d run away if he so much as blinks. The chair creaks as he pulls it back and then again as he sits down and scooches it forward. I fight the urge to scooch mine backwards to bring more distance between us. Instead, I cross my arms in front of my chest, tucking my trembling hands into my armpits to hide my nervousness. My defenses go up instantly, protecting myself in case this conversation goes south.

“Hey, Harper,” he starts. He sounds tired. The bags under his eyes are just as big as when we started our drive, if not even darker. Yet he still looks so fucking hot that it makes my heart flutter. It’s unfair. He has me under some kind of spell that I just can’t seem to shake off.

“Hello, Simon,” I reply, hating the way his name still rolls off my tongue way too smoothly. “What are you doing here? ”

“I decided to spend some more time with my parents while I’m here.” He clears his throat. “And apologize to you in person.”

“I appreciate it.” I nod and look at him expectantly, raising my eyebrow. “So?”

“I’m sorry,” he says quietly, a sigh falling from his lips. “I have no excuses for what I said to you - but can I tell you my reasons?” I shrug my shoulders. Are they really going to make a difference? I guess we’ll see.

“You were right, you know?” I roll my eyes. Obviously, “I was the one running. I had no idea what to do. Actually, I still don’t. It’s like the world is my oyster, but I don’t like seafood.” He buries his face in his hands. “I took my own uncertainty out on you, and that was wrong. In that moment I let jealousy consume me. You have the courage to do what I want to do and it's like that lit a fuse in my head." He looks up sheepishly, avoiding my eyes. "I'm sorry. I vowed to myself to never fuck up again the way I did on Jake’s birthday as teens. Then there I went, doing the exact same thing again. It’s like a curse.”

Another deep sigh escapes him, and my eyes roam over his face. There’s no eye twitching, no nervous eye dancing. Instead, he’s holding my gaze, sincerity shining in his eyes.

“I'm also sorry," I say and his eyebrows knit together in surprise. "I'm sorry for calling you a coward. That wasn't nice of me as well. It's not pathetic to be scared when you don't know what the future holds."

"I forgive you. Do you forgive me?"

A deep sigh falls from my lips and I massage my temples. The words are on my lips, but it's not that easy. "Even if I forgave you,” I say cautiously and his face falls. I take a sip of my coffee that’s gotten cold by now as I contemplate my next words. I was way too nervous to drink it as I was waiting for him. “What happens next time? This is the second time you’re taking things out on me, and if that’s how it’s going to continue, I can’t even accept your apology.”

“I get that,” he says, his voice rough as he runs his hand through his hair. “And I promise you, it won’t. Jake has found me a therapist, and I’m working through some stuff with him. I know a promise from me doesn’t mean much to you, but I swear, I’m working on myself.”

I eye him suspiciously. What woman doesn’t want a man who’s open to therapy and learning the error of his ways? And look at my idiot brother, being the voice of reason for once.

“What do you want out of this?” I eye him curiously. I guess that’s something we should get out of the way from the beginning for once. “Forgiveness for your conscience and then we go back to being strangers? Do you want to be friends? Friends with benefits?”

“I want to take you on a date,” he bursts out, and my eyes grow wide. That was my best-case scenario, but now that he’s said it, I find it hard to believe.

“A date? Me?”

“Yes,” he assures me and reaches for my hand. I let him take it into his, the tingling where he touches me, not an unwelcome feeling. “I never allowed myself to even think about it because you’re Jake’s sister and all that. Now that I know I’m not worse than your ex, I’ve decided he has to deal with it. Plus, Jake already knows we slept together, doesn’t he?”

“He does,” I admit, blushing. My eyes rest on his hand grasping mine and suddenly I'm not able to grasp any thoughts at all. “I might have blurted it out after a few beers on Thanksgiving. ”

He shakes his head, an amused smile tugging at his lips. “And I’m still alive, so that must be a good sign, I guess.”

“Speaking of.” I frown and tear my eyes away from our hands and to his face. “Layla said you beat up my ex. What’s up with that?”

“Funny story,” he says and gives me a smug grin. “So I was at this bar with your brother. Coincidentally, Tom was there too. Really, no idea how that happened.” The playful glint in his eyes tells me he has a very good idea of how it happened, but I’m not going to ask. “He must have eavesdropped on us when we laughed about what a pathetic loser he is. Then he decided that he wanted to fight us. He has a very short temper, you know?” Of course, I know. Mischief clouds his whole face as he continues. “He threw the first punch, and your brother and I had to defend ourselves. With our fists. And figured that as long as he moved, he was a threat to us.” He shrugs. I shake my head at him, but my heart grows warm.

“Thank you. I hope you got him good.”

“We did.”

I gulp. It’s a bit brutal but a very sweet gesture. Now, what the hell am I going to do?

“You know what?” He grabs his jacket and gets up. “I dumped quite a lot on you today. Why don’t you take a day to think about it and meet me at the ice rink tomorrow evening?” His eyes glimmer with hope, and I find myself nodding.

“That sounds good. Thank you, Si.”

“No. Thank you for hearing me out. God knows I didn’t deserve it.” The smile that plays around his lips could light up the whole village at night. “See you tomorrow. ”

Before I can react, he steps over to my side at the table, cups my cheek to tilt my head, and leans down to put his warm lips on my forehead and kisses me gently. Don’t ask me why, but this feels more intimate than him eating me out. My face is fire red as I watch him step out of the cafe, a small spring in his step.