Crave (Beneath The Secrets #3)

9. Lara

CHAPTER 9

LARA

Which ones do I bring? My open toed sandals, or my flip flops?

Both. Why not?

It’s not like anyone is going to see me. Or wants to.

I still can’t believe Mikhail hid something so important from me for so long. I thought I meant more to him?

He’s my brother!

It makes me want to scream and shake him. If only he wasn’t so huge. I doubt I could budge him.

My bag has rollers that thrum across the tiles as I head into the living room.

And almost run directly into Alexei.

His silver tooth shows in a wide grin and he holds out a large bouquet of roses.

“What is this for?” Doubt tinges my words.

The last time he showed up with flowers, it was because he “borrowed” my Audi then “accidently” drove it into a pond at a golf course.

At least he paid for all of the repairs.

I can feel my eyes narrow watching him fidget with one of the stems.

“Well, I know today was a long day. You learned a lot of new things about your family. How does that make you feel?” He squints, raising one cheek to look at me sideways.

“How I feel? Since when do you ask that?” My arms cross over my chest.

Alexei isn’t an emotions guy. He runs off of sugar and intrusive thoughts.

I’m not sure if he knows what caring really is.

He shrugs, pushing the bouquet into my hands. “Yep. Was it the worst day ever, or could have been worse?”

His lips purse and he leans forward, scrutinizing my face.

How do I explain to him I feel broken? Hollow? Betrayed?

That I want to run away to the cabin so I can cry for days where no one will bother me?

It’s the only place that even Alexei gives me space.

I wish he knew how to fill in those gaps when I need emotional support, not just companionship. He’s already my best friend.

But that’s all he’ll ever be.

His eyebrows bunch and he leans back. “I’ll wait until you get back. Will you be here for my birthday? I’m having a party.”

“That’s next week. Of course I’ll be back. But why a get together? You usually don’t make a big deal about it.” It’s my turn to peer at him.

What is he hiding?

“You’re having a hard day and thought that a celebration with some cake and ice cream might help.” He shrugs, then pulls out a package of chocolate covered strawberries. “I got you these for today.”

The berry part is okay, they’re low in calories. But I try not to cringe about the chocolate.

Or the idea of having to stare at all of the sweets I know he’ll have.

He lives on sugar.

“Thank you.” I put them into the fridge and go back to my bag. “I do wish you’d just tell me, then I’ll have some time to think about it.” Or cry about it.

Either way, I can process.

Alexei squeezes one eye shut and watches me heading towards the door. “I dunno. What if it was that I’m going jumping again with Mikhail?” He bounces on his toes as he follows me. “Or, maybe we’re going to pull a job on the Reapers?”

That makes me cringe. They’ve been a rival faction in Vegas for years.

It’s been a bloody and brutal battle against them.

I’ve come close to losing him and Nikolai so many times.

“Why?” I pause on the porch, waiting for his answer.

“Well, because they work with Kirill. And we need to find him so we know what Ivan knows.” He pulls a piece of hard candy out of his pocket and twirls it open between his fingers.

The porch light highlights his tattoos that run up his neck and over each ear, then sparkle off of his silver tooth when he grins.

“Ugh.” I shiver. “I don’t want to know that part. Please just be safe.” It’s hard some days knowing we all are involved in constant threat of danger. That at any moment a brutal attack could swoop down over us.

I want to pretend it doesn’t happen.

“Maybe I’ve been punishing your boyfriends for not being nice to you?” His lean frame slides down the guardrail from the porch and he lands with a flourish.

“That would be nice, but I know that they don’t want to talk to me. Besides, you don’t even know most of them.” I roll my eyes and put my suitcase into my trunk.

“What if I told you, I got a pet flamingo?” He hops down the steps ahead of me to open my car door.

“That would be ridiculous. And highly irresponsible. You always try to give dessert to the girls when we babysit.” I wave my hand. “That’s a wild one. But if you don’t want to tell me, don’t tell me. No need to make stuff up, I’m not a child anymore.”

I’m just a woman with enough anxiety to shake start a cement truck.

And I need a break.

“Elena and Maeve love me. A little treat doesn’t hurt them.” He clicks his candy along his teeth. It sounds like when Jax drags his tongue piercing.

“It’s not the once or twice, Alexei.” I try to calm myself.

He’s right. What they get is okay.

I’m the one that is broken. My father always had cruel words about my body, and it ruined my perception of food.

That’s on me, not him.

“I have to go. If you won’t tell me, I at least want to get to the cabin before dark.” I slide into the seat of my Audi, wincing against the hot leather.

It turns into an oven in no time in Las Vegas.

His inked fingers curl over the top of my window. “I’ll tell. I really do have a flamingo. That’s why I went swimming in your car.”

My jaw drops open.

I have no words.

He grins, and pushes the door shut. “Have a safe trip!” Waving, he steps away into the shade of the garage.

A freaking bird?