Crave (Beneath The Secrets #3)

14. Alexei

CHAPTER 14

ALEXEI

Song- DOA, I Prevail

I don’t know what the heck Jax is talking about. Of course I look at Lara as a friend.

I’d look at her as more, if I thought it wouldn’t mess things up.

But I’ve seen my father and his girl friends. He beat them like he did me.

Lara has dated a lot of guys.

Most treated her poorly, so I removed them. No one deserves to live who treats her badly.

She must have gone farther than I thought.

Carrying the cake in one hand, I push into the thicker trees, hoping to catch a glimpse of her blond hair between the trunks.

I can’t seem to find her.

Zig zagging through the forest, I pick up speed.

I want to surprise her, but how can I if she’s winning at hiding?

Fine.

“Lara? Are you out here? Come back to the party, pchelka.” I know it gets to her when I call her a Russian name.

Maybe she’s cranky enough it will make her yell at me, and I’ll catch her.

“Lara?” Worry starts to gnaw at me.

Pausing, all I can hear is my heartbeat, and the distant sound of the music playing back at my circus.

The whole thing is for her.

Where is she?

“Lara? I’m sorry, please come out?” There’s a set of low bushes. I bet she went in there.

Putting the plate on the ground, I crouch and push through the thicket to find nothing but a balled up garter snake.

“Have you seen Lara?” I call after him as he leaves.

I might as well be talking to Sheila.

Or Percy. But I doubt my motorcycle can tell me where she is either.

Would she leave completely? Did she cut back to the road and then walk around to her car?

Surely I’d have seen her leave.

No, I better check.

I’m halfway there when I remember the cake.

Fuck.

Running through the woods, I find it already covered in ants.

It’s ruined. She’s gone. The day is a failure.

Shit.

Turning back, I head towards where everyone is. Sitting on the picnic table, it’s hard to be happy when she’s not here.

“I can’t believe I messed up. She’s my responsibility,” I groan. I’m such a fuck-up.

Mila looks up. “What do you mean? Aren’t you guys a thing?”

My brows knot. “No. I keep her safe. It’s always been that way. It’s my purpose. And, I failed.” My arms fall flat and I drop my forehead onto them.

She reaches out and pats my shoulder. “She’ll turn up. She probably just went for a walk.”

Lara should be back. She knows I’d worry.

There has to be something I’m missing.

Looking around, I don’t see anything out of the ordinary.

Pin the tail on the donkey. A baggy panted clown is doing the balloon animals. The green haired one is doing the magic show.

Except he isn’t.

Where is he?

It hits me. “The green one.”

Nikolai has a puzzled expression.

I have to find Mikhail. He’ll know what to do.

Grabbing his arm, I pull him away from his conversation with Jax near the balloons. “The magician. He had the green hair. Where is he?”

The clown dressed with the oversized pants shakes his head. “We don’t have anyone like that. We thought he was a special hire for the gig.” He holds his palms up towards Mikhail, his painted face exaggerating the scared look.

Mikhail yanks my shoulder and drags me with him towards the trees. “Where did you look?” he growls through his mask.

Nikolai and Jax jog up behind us.

“We’ll go this way.” Nikolai points in the direction I was going to cut through towards the road.

Mikhail pulls me through the trees. “Show me how far you went.”

“I know I fucked up. I shouldn’t have let her go.” I can’t keep the whine of worry out of my voice.

“Alexei.” He pauses, stopping me. “I know you’d never do anything to hurt her. I trust her with you, and that isn’t given lightly. I don’t know what happened, but I know it wasn’t your fault.”

I didn’t expect that.

It almost makes this whole thing slightly easier.

Nikolai will still be pissed at me.

“Here’s the cake.” The plate is covered with a mass of ants and beetles. “And then I crawled in there.” I point into the bushes. “But she wasn’t there.”

“Okay. You go that way.” Mikhail gestures to my right.

Frantically, I start running in the direction he pointed.

It isn’t until my phone rings that I stop.

“Nikolai?” I’m out of breath.

“We found her?—”

“Where is she?” Before I wait for a reply, I sprint back the way I came.

“She’s gone, Alexei.” His voice sounds so…final.

“No. She’s not dead.” Faster I bolt through the trees, my arms pushing limbs out of the way as they lash against my face.

“Alexei!” he yells. “We found her shoe.”

It doesn’t matter. I run until my lungs burn and my legs feel like they’re going to give out.

If I’m fast enough, I’ll catch her.

A thick arm snakes out and whips across my chest.

I almost strike out at whoever stopped me. They’re keeping me from her.

She’s mine.

My Lara.

“Alexei! Come on!” Jax wraps his thick biceps around me, squeezing me against the urge to keep going. “We need to make a plan,” he grunts into my ear as I squirm.

“No! I’ll find her!” My voice cracks.

I don’t know a world without her.

She’s always there. It’s me who goes. Off on jobs. Off on adventures.

Lara is where I leave her. She’s my anchor.

My base.

Tears stream down my face as the struggle starts to leave my body.

I can’t stop looking for her. “She has to be here.”

“We’ll find her. I promise.” Jax lets me go and watches me. “You good?” His dark eyebrows knot.

I nod. It’s all I can do.

“Okay, let’s head back.” His hand sits on my shoulder as we walk.

I feel like I’ve lost every purpose I’ve ever known.

My chest is empty.

I didn’t know she filled it like this. It aches.

We get back to the tables where Sofia and Mila look up at us.

Jax holds up the high heel he found.

It’s her favorite. She never would have taken that off, especially not in the dirt.

Nikolai runs his hand over his jaw. “She’s been taken.”