Crave (Beneath The Secrets #3)

37. Lara

CHAPTER 37

LARA

Song, ALWAYS BEEN YOU, Chris Grey

My stomach grumbles and it wakes me up. Checking my phone, it's only seven. I’m just constantly exhausted. Especially being on edge, I just can’t help feeling like someone is watching me.

Except that saying it out loud, even to Alexei the other day, I sound crazy.

Shoving on a knitted cardigan over my cami and shorts, I hug it around myself and head into the kitchen. Coffee. That will fix me. Stifling a yawn, I grab a mug from the cabinet, my favorite sunshine one, and jab the button on the machine.

As it buzzes to life, I rest against the counter. When I take a step back, something crinkles under my foot.

What the hell?

Lifting it up, a candy wrapper is stuck to my heel. I peel it off and hold it up to inspect it.

Huh? That wasn’t there last night. I haven’t touched any and Alexei wasn’t here. My heart almost stops. Looking up I spot the jar and rush over, grabbing it from the side. How haven’t I noticed how low it’s gotten?

Why the hell is he coming over when I’m not here? As I slam the jar down, something jumps behind the container of spaghetti. When I slide the canister out the way, I gasp.

A fucking camera. Squashing the wrapper in my palm, I squeeze it so tightly my nails break through the thin paper. Panic takes over.

Someone is watching me.

But reaching to get my phone, I stop. There’s something about the sweet wrapper and Alexei’s words playing in a loop about protecting me.

The distance between us physically.

The damn sweet jar.

It’s him.

Blind rage overtakes me. Swiping up my cell from the counter, I hover over his contact number.

My fingers are shaking, the urge to hurl the phone across the room taking over.

Yet I don’t.

A calming feeling settles over me as I picture him watching me.

I don’t feel unsafe. No, I feel protected.

I’m just hurt he did this rather than actually be with me. That pains me more. I need him in more ways than just looking out for me.

My heart craves him.

It always has, it always will.

Without him my mind spins out of control.

With him I am calm.

And most of all, I am loved so fiercely. That could never be matched by another.

I just need his crazy ass to get on the same page.

Call me delusional, but the fact he’s stalking me means he’s obsessed with me. Just like I am with him. I can’t be mad about that.

If he wants a show to watch, I’ll give him one. In fact, I’ll do it so well, hopefully he will be bashing my door off its hinges to get to me. I want him so consumed by me he stops this damn distance thing.

I might not have control over many aspects of my life, but getting the man of my dreams to see me for who I really am is something I can.

I will make Alexei mine.

I wonder what he does when he watches me? I know what I’d be doing. Picking up a red lollipop, I lean against the counter looking directly at the camera.

That kiss was enough to have me turned on every damn night thinking about it. Imagining his lips…elsewhere. His rough hands holding me in place. Letting him own me. Just how I crave from him.

Opening the wrapper, I seductively pop it into my mouth and suck.

It’s sweetness bursting on my tongue, I can totally see why he’s addicted to these things.

I slide my crop top strap down my shoulder, picking up my phone, I pretend to make a call.

“Oh hi, Dan. I’m bored, and horny. Do you feel like coming over?” I twirl the sugary treat around my tongue.

“Great. See you soon.” With a grin, I turn around and flick my long blond locks over my shoulder.

Digging a piece of paper out of the drawer I scribble a note for Alexei, leave my sucker on top, and saunter out of the room.

He’s played his cards and now it’s my turn. I hope my deal lands with his dick inside me.

If he turns up, that tells me everything I need to know.

He loves me too.

I just hope this doesn’t ruin everything. I guess he should have thought about that before kissing me and stalking me.

We’re either going to create a storm and demolish everything, or we will dance in the rain together.

Slipping off my shorts, I look at my reflection in the mirror, guiding my hands down my sides. No matter how many times I try this, I never see anything I love about myself.

I see the way my hips bulge out, I see the little bits of cellulite on my ass. In fact every time I look I find something new I hate.

So I flick off the lights, keeping my royal blue lace bra and matching thong on, then slip under the covers.

I wonder if he has a camera in here too?