Crying in the Rain (Hiding Behind The Couch Character and Festive Episodes)

24 Connections

Kris

I t was too early for Casper’s evening patrol of the neighbourhood, too late and too wet for playing Frisbee in the park. In need of something to occupy his mind, Kris took him anyway, but the dog must’ve been picking up on his mood and was reluctant to leave his side. After no more than half a dozen half-hearted throws and fetches, Kris put him back on his lead and continued onwards to the salon to meet Shaunna from work.

“What’s the matter?” she asked the second she saw him.

Kris shrugged. “Ade’s coming to the party.”

“That’s good. Isn’t it?”

“Yeah,” Kris said glumly.

“Weirdo.” Shaunna hooked her arm through his and they fell in step, taking a slow stroll homeward, or as slow a stroll as Casper would permit. “So why the long face?” she asked.

“Don’t know.”

Twice more, she tried to start a conversation, but Kris genuinely had no idea why he was feeling so miserable. Ade had seemed in good spirits, and he was the one who’d suggested coming over at the weekend. There was no reason for Kris to worry he’d pushed Ade into anything, yet he couldn’t shake it off.

They arrived back at the house, and Shaunna went upstairs to shower, leaving Kris with instructions to make cups of tea and get ready to explain himself. Tea made, he sat at the table and awaited her return, using the time to think through how he was feeling, hoping that once he put it into words it would make more sense .

“Oh dear.”

He glanced behind him to where she was standing in the kitchen doorway, arms folded, watching him.

“I didn’t hear you come down.”

“Hmm.” She came over and sat, still watching him as she picked up her tea and took a sip. “Ahhhh. That’s better.”

“Tough day?”

“No tougher than usual, although Hayley went to the wholesaler’s, so I’ve been in the stockroom all afternoon.” She took another sip of tea and relaxed back in her chair, waiting patiently for him to talk to her. Another sip…

“It hurts,” he said, but that was all he’d come up with.

Shaunna peered at him over the rim of her cup.

He shook his head, utterly confused. The feelings were so intense he didn’t know how to deal with them. He was missing Ade like they’d been together for years. It was too soon to need someone so much, and it was frightening. He put down his cup and pressed his palms together, trying to centre his thoughts.

“Are you praying?” Shaunna asked.

“No, but I’d give it a shot if it meant not feeling like this.”

“Like what?”

“I’m not sure.”

Shaunna narrowed her eyes at him. “Why?” she asked.

“Why what?”

“Well, even for you, it’s a bit soon to be worrying about how you’d cope with the break-up.”

There was mischief in her gaze, but she’d hit the nail on the head. “You know me too well.”

“It’s been a long time, hun.”

Kris picked up his tea, watching the surface of the liquid shimmer under the lights. “Ade needs someone emotionally stable, with no baggage. Not me.”

“No?”

“You think I’m wrong?”

“I think Ade knows his own mind. ”

Kris opened his mouth to contradict her but stopped and instead considered her words. She was right, but she wasn’t just talking about Ade. She was talking about herself and their marriage. Kris had worked hard and saved up to buy them a family home so that she could concentrate on being a mum, but he’d never asked her if that was what she’d wanted or expected. After they separated, she said she understood he had done it with the right intentions, but they should’ve discussed it first, communicated what they both wanted from the relationship. If they had…well, who was to say whether it would have saved their marriage, but learning to communicate had at least saved their friendship. In fact, it was stronger than ever.

Kris didn’t want to lose that. He loved living there, and he loved Shaunna, which was a significant part of why he was struggling so much with falling for Ade. The two of them—Shaunna and Ade—had got along brilliantly, but it was…unconventional. He couldn’t see how it was sustainable in the long run. Added to that, what Kris had been through with his uncle meant he felt Ade’s pain so strongly it could have been his own. He hadn’t been close to his abuser, had trusted and respected him purely because he was an elder, but to suffer at the hands of someone you’d fallen in love with… Thinking about it was unbearable.

Kris had heeded Ade’s warning. He would miss Fergus, and that was fine. But what if Fergus asked him for another chance? Would he go back again? There were so many unknowns beyond Kris’s control, and his instincts were pulling in two directions: back away while he still could or hang on tight and ride out the storm.

Shaunna reached across the table and took his hands in hers. “Carpe diem.”

Kris couldn’t help smiling at her movie-night reference. Dead Poets Society was one of their all-time favourite films. If she was preparing to mop the kitchen floor? Carpe diem. If she was about the head out to work in the rain? Up went the umbrella and carpe diem . He glanced up from his tea, to find her smiling right back at him.

“Take the chance,” she said. “That’s all.”

“I feel like I’m going crazy.”

“You’ve always been crazy. This is just the first chance you’ve ever had to really express yourself.”

“I don’t want to drive off the cliff, Louise. What if—”

“What-if, nothing, Thelma. Do or do not. There is no try.”

At that, Kris rolled his eyes. “If I agree, will it stop you quoting Hollywood wisdom at me?”

She grinned and raised her eyebrows. “Perhaps this is the mysterious Mr. Right you have been waiting your whole life to meet.”

Kris laughed. “Riffing still counts.”

Shaunna got up and made her way to his side of the table, putting her arms around him in a motherly hug. He snuggled against her, and she planted a kiss on the top of his head. “Hearts will never be practical until they can be made unbreakable. But I still think you should have one.”

***

Ade

A s the train pulled into the station, Ade’s stomach lurched in anticipation, and in his eagerness to open the door, he pushed at the button before it illuminated to indicate it was no longer locked. Not once had it occurred to him that Kris would stand him up, and rightly so, because he could see him on the other side of the barrier, peering over the heads of others, scouring the passengers moving along the platform. They made eye contact, and Ade waved, quickening his pace, his heart fluttering with excitement. And it was excitement, rather than dread. He made it through the ticket barrier, and they embraced. Kris kissed his cheek, sending a little spark chasing through him.

“Hi,” Ade greeted breathlessly .

“Hi,” Kris replied, offering to take Ade’s bag, but he waved the offer away.

“I’ve missed you.”

Kris had a huge smile on his face.

“What?” Ade asked.

“I’m glad you said that, because I’ve missed you too.”

Ade took Kris’s hand, and they set off towards taxi rank. “I’m a bit nervous about this party.”

“Because of meeting my friends?”

“Maybe a little. More because I’m not used to going out.” As soon as he said it, he wished he hadn’t, as Kris flinched. “Hey.” He squeezed Kris’s hand. “I’m made of sterner stuff than you think.”

“I know.”

“Have you been thinking about it a lot?”

“Trying not to. But since you told me…or maybe even before that, because I kind of knew from the get-go, I can’t get it out of my head.”

“And you’re struggling to process it,” Ade said.

Kris nodded.

“That’s understandable. It’s not normal, is it?”

“It’s selfish. This is about you, not me.”

“Yes, well, I don’t want to talk about it. So…”

“Right, OK.” Kris nodded and obediently changed the subject. “How was Julia? Did you have fun?”

“Oh, she was wonderful, and yes, I did. Thank you for asking.”

“You’re most welcome,” Kris said theatrically.

Ade laughed. “Seriously, it was so nice to spend time with her, and the kids have grown up so much! It’s amazing—you only have to miss out for a few months and they turn from babies to toddlers, to preschoolers, and before you know it, they’re starting high school. I can barely get my head around the fact that Emmett’s almost a teenager. Was it like that for you with Krissi?”

“Yep. Baby one minute, at school the next, then suddenly she’s a grown-up with her own apartment. ”

Ade gave Kris’s hand another reassuring squeeze. “I can’t wait to meet her. I bet she’s a credit to both of you. And I don’t think they notice how much time has passed, you know? Emmett’s convinced I was there for his birthday last year, but my wrist was splinted, so I know for a fact I wasn’t. I told him the truth, too, because he was asking awkward questions, and there seemed little point lying, especially after the ex called me again, but I felt ashamed.” So much for not wanting to talk about it. At times, he wondered if that was all he was, the sum of what Fergus had made him. He bit down on his bottom lip, quite hard, banishing the thought. “Anyway, I promised Emmett I’d make it up to him. He loves the theatre too, so we’re going to catch a couple of shows together.”

“Any excuse,” Kris teased.

Ade laughed. “Quite right.”

“Emmett’s an unusual name.”

“It is. Julia and Russ are total Back To The Future nuts. Like, for instance, when I told them about the MG, Jules said, ‘At least it wasn’t a DeLorean.’ They had one as their wedding car.”

“That’s fun!”

“It was a great day, if not a bit geeky. Their wedding cake was on a hoverboard, and of course, the ex had to point out it wasn’t real, like we didn’t all know that. He made such a fool of himself that day, but at least he had the decency to pass out in the hotel lobby and not ruin it for anyone else.” He was doing it again. Back to the future, Ade. Take the hint. “So, Julia and Russ have been together fifteen years. Emmett’s thirteen next month, and Jenny’s just turned nine.”

“Oh, right.” Kris looked bamboozled but didn’t comment on Ade’s flitty chatter, so he carried on once they were in the taxi.

“I’ve sorted out what I’m doing with the car, by the way. The specialist that the mechanic brought in is a partner in a British cars museum, and they’d been looking for a BGT for their collection. They’ll replace the engine and keep the car in the old RAF hangar they lease down in Suffolk. I can visit any time, he said, and take it out for a spin.”

“That’s great news.”

“It is! Did I mention they also have a brG E-Type?” Ade waggled his eyebrows.

Kris laughed. “No?”

“Oh, yes. I’d much rather take that out.”

For the rest of the journey, Ade stayed quiet, conscious he’d hardly let Kris speak and trying to calm his nerves. He really didn’t want to talk about Fergus, but he kind of wanted Kris to ask what had happened when Fergus had called so he could share how proud he was of his mum for doing exactly what she’d said she would. Now all he had to do was back up his statement with a brief court appearance, and Fergus would be on a permanent restraining order.

They arrived back at the house, but before Ade even had a chance to reach for his wallet, Kris had paid the taxi fare.

“In that case, I’m buying the drinks at the party,” Ade said.

“It’s a free bar.”

“Boo.” Ade followed Kris to the front door. “Dinner’s on me at some point then—what’s up?” Kris was still rummaging in his pocket.

“Think I’ve lost my key again.”

“Again?”

“Yep. I’m on about my twenty-fifth by now.” He tried the other pocket. “I have a suggestion.”

“Hmm?”

“We could go down for a weekend sometime.”

“Go where?”

“To the classic car museum.”

“You’d come with me?”

“I’d love to.”

“Wow. OK.” Ade was taken aback.

“There’re some gorgeous old hotels in Suffolk. If we hired a car, we could…” Kris trailed off and frowned. “What’s wrong? ”

“Nothing.” Ade’s expression morphed into a wide grin, and Kris’s gaze immediately went to the gap in his teeth. Ade blushed. “That’s the source of all my twubbles,” he said, exaggerating his rhotacism.

“It’s the source of your allure,” Kris said, his voice low and sultry.

“Oh, really?” Ade blinked flirtatiously. Kris laughed and spun him in for a kiss.

“Yes, really. I like it,” he said, lips lingering on Ade’s. “I feel it needs further exploration.”

“I might let you if we ever get inside.”

Kris held up the key. “Found it.”

“Well, what are you waiting for? Get that door open. We have things to do!”