Crying in the Rain (Hiding Behind The Couch Character and Festive Episodes)

25 Brief

Kris

I t was mid-afternoon , and Shaunna was still at work, so they had the place to themselves, give or take a Labrador retriever. Casper couldn’t have been more pleased to see Ade and knocked him flat on the kitchen floor, alternating between snuffling him affectionately and sniffing him all over, no manners whatsoever.

“He knows I cheated on him,” Ade said when Casper finally bounded away and he was able to get up from the floor. He brushed himself down and accepted Kris’s offer of a damp paper towel to wipe his face. “He’s a lot less spitty than basset hounds, let me tell you.”

Kris grimaced. He loved having a dog and didn’t care about the hair or the wet-dog smell Shaunna spent a small fortune on candles and incense to disguise, but dogs with droopy jowls, all that slobber…he shuddered just thinking about it. Ade saw it and laughed.

“No spitty dogs.” He wrote in the air, finishing off with a tick. “Duly noted.”

That sounded a lot like future plans to Kris, and it kicked a few more of those what-ifs into the wings, though he was still anxious about their weekend together and sensed Ade was too. This was the first time they’d been alone somewhere private, and while they’d both made it clear outside that they were of the same mind in wanting some intimacy, everything seemed much more real and important than it had before Ade went to stay with his sister.

“I was thinking,” Ade began but got no further, as Casper was back with his Frisbee. He trotted straight past Kris and dropped it at Ade’s feet. “OK. Never mind. Is there something you want, Caspy?” He looked over at Kris and shrugged. “W-A-L-K-I-E-S?”

“We don’t have to—”

Ade silenced him with a look. “There’s nothing we have to do, but it would be remiss of me to refuse an invitation to accompany such handsome gentlemen for a promenade.”

“There won’t be much promenading, but OK,” Kris accepted and followed Ade and Casper back to the front door. He couldn’t help thinking the dog looked decidedly smug as the three of them set off for the park, where the Frisbee fetching commenced in earnest.

“He’s really good at this,” Ade remarked, circling his shoulder after having launched the disc for about the tenth time. “Did it take a lot of training for him to learn?”

“None whatsoever,” Kris admitted ruefully. “I’m pretty sure it’s instinctive, a case of ‘does exactly what it says on the label’.”

“Have you had him since he was a puppy?”

“Nope, although he was only young when we adopted him. He’s a failed Search and Rescue dog…I say failed, but he was channelling Lassie when we were Wales. Our friend’s six-year-old son went missing, and Casper found him.”

“Oh no! That’s horrifying! Was he OK?”

“He’d fallen and broken a couple of bones in his foot, but he was alive and well.”

“Thank God!” Casper brought the Frisbee back and Ade threw his arms around him, fussing and praising him for being such a clever boy— a hero .

“You realise you’ll never get a moment’s peace now?” Kris joked.

“I don’t care.” Ade launched the Frisbee again. “He deserves all the accolades!”

The fact they hadn’t talked about any of this before really pressed home how short a time they’d known each other. There again, they’d had bigger concerns than Casper’s heritage, so it was perhaps a positive sign that their relationship was settling into something more normal, less fraught.

When they returned from walking the dog, Ade went straight upstairs to deposit his bag, he said, but several minutes on, he was still up there. Kris had a good idea why, too, but as much as he wanted to follow him, he needed Ade to initiate so he’d know he wasn’t pushing him into anything.

Several more minutes passed before Ade called downstairs, “Where should I put my clothes?”

“In the drawers next to the window,” Kris called back.

“Come and show me.”

Kris looked up at him from the bottom of the stairs. “There is only one set of drawers next to the window.”

Ade shrugged. “But still…I’d like you to show me.”

“OK.” Kris made his way up, sighing for effect. He arrived at the top, stepping into Ade’s space because there was nowhere else he could go. Ade stood his ground and captured Kris’s gaze.

“I think I know which drawers you mean, but I may need some assistance with the bed.”

“Is that so?” Kris’s voice wobbled as Ade caught hold of him by his shirt front and pulled him closer.

“That’s so,” Ade murmured, huffing warm breath over Kris’s lips before nipping lightly at the bottom one. “You play hard to get so wonderfully well.”

“Thanks. I’m a professional,” Kris said with a shaky laugh.

“A professional player?” Ade tugged on his shirt, using it to lead him to the bedroom.

“Not a player.” Kris stumbled along, mesmerised by the hazel-green eyes staring into his, the feathery sensation of his shirt being unbuttoned. He felt his belt slide out of its buckle and swallowed hard. He’d never been seduced before, or not this gentle undressing, and it was an incredible turn-on.

Ade took a step back so he could remove his sweater and stood, topless and smiling at Kris’s appreciative visual appraisal. Even with the bruises, Ade had been a beautiful man, but now they’d disappeared and the scars were starting to fade, he was confident, no longer trying to hide his body. Kris could’ve looked at him all day, but Ade stepped closer again, overriding the desire to look with the urge to touch when their bare chests made contact.

“Oh God,” Ade groaned. “That feels good.” He eased Kris’s shirt off his shoulders and ran his palms up his back, stretching up as he cupped Kris’s head, bringing their mouths together in a hot-breathed kiss. Kris gave in instantly, the proverbial putty in Ade’s hands…and lips, which nibbled a trail down his chin, over his Adam’s apple and continued downwards as Ade dropped to his knees. Kris’s entire body erupted in goosebumps.

“I need you,” Ade murmured against Kris’s belly. “In so many ways I can’t prioritise. Are you cold? Do you want to get under the duvet?”

Kris shook his head. “Keep going.”

“Talking or kissing?” Ade peered up at him, his cheeks and lips a debauched deep pink.

“Both.”

“I need to get these off you for starters,” Ade said, unzipping Kris’s jeans and pulling them down over his hips. He paused and looked up again. Kris knew he should nod to let Ade know what he was doing was fine, but he was caught up in the moment and delayed too long.

“OK.” Ade rose to his feet. “ We need to work on communicating when we’re less compromised by—”

Without warning, Kris put his hands on Ade’s cheeks and drew him in for another deep kiss, probing with his tongue and then dragging it back over the gap in Ade’s teeth. Did it count as a fetish? He wasn’t sure, but he didn’t waste time dwelling on it. With Ade’s hot palms pressed to his boxer-clad buttocks and his jeans around his thighs, he was teetering on the line between succumbing to a vague but haunting flashback and giving in fully to whatever Ade wanted to do to him.

Ade withdrew and reached for his bag, from which he took condoms and lube. “I’m prepared this time,” he said and set them on the bedside table, then sat on the edge of the bed to remove his shoes. “Like a Boy Scout,” he added and glanced up at Kris, who was standing exactly as Ade had left him. “Is something wrong?”

“I, er…” He pulled his jeans back up but didn’t fasten them. Ade slumped in disappointment. It would feel like rejection to him, and that was the last thing Kris wanted—for either of them—but he wasn’t sure he could go through with sex right now. “Have you ever heard of erotic massage?” he asked.

“No, but I imagine the clue’s in the name.”

He edged past Ade to reach his bedside table, where the massage oil was…somewhere. He found it and turned back. “Oh!” He swallowed at the sight before him.

“I’m going to feel terribly naked if you don’t strip off soon.”

“Not terribly naked. Beautifully naked,” Kris said, gazing open-mouthed. He was beyond being able to undress himself, but that seemed to suit Ade just fine, and he guided Kris down onto the bed, pushing gently on his chest until he was lying on his back, kisses landing all over his belly.

“Lift,” Ade commanded.

Kris did as he was told, breathing steadily as Ade shuffled down the bed, taking Kris’s jeans and boxers with him.

“Tell me more about this erotic massage.” He kissed a trail back up again and settled on his side next to Kris, smoothing his hand over Kris’s chest…and downwards. “Isn’t that what we did last time?”

Kris captured Ade’s hand and kept hold of it as he turned to face him. “Well, it was definitely erotic,” he said with a smile. “But it was foreplay, leading up to sex.”

“And this wouldn’t be?”

“We might end up in the same place, but it’s about the massage, exploring each other’s body.”

“OK. I think I get it. Would you like to go first? Show me how it’s done.”

Ade rolled onto his back and put his arms behind his head, offering himself up. Kris stayed right where he was .

“Problem?” Ade asked.

Kris shook his head. “I don’t actually know how it’s done.”

“I thought, as you’d suggested it, you must’ve done it before.”

Kris shook his head again.

“Is it something you made up?”

“No. George—” Kris screwed his eyes shut and clamped his teeth together. Will I ever learn? “I’ll get the oil,” he said, turning away and swinging his legs off the bed to sit.

“Babe?”

The mattress shifted as Ade crawled across to sit beside him.

“Look at me.”

Kris glanced sideways, making fleeting eye contact.

“It’s OK, you know. Everyone has a past.”

“It’s not that.”

“Then what?”

“I betrayed a confidence.”

“George’s?”

Kris nodded.

“Well, you didn’t tell me anything. I mean, I can glean from what you’ve said that the erotic massage idea came from him, and I promise it won’t go any further.”

“I know. I trust you. Completely, which is…” Kris picked up the bottle of massage oil and shook it, not realising the lid wasn’t shut properly. It flipped open, spilling oil over his hands and thighs. “Shit.”

“You know what this means?” Ade asked, shifting again so that he was kneeling behind Kris.

“What’s that?” The words merged into a gasp as Ade leaned forward, sliding his palms over Kris’s shoulders, chest, belly, down to his thighs, then back up again, spreading the oil as he went.

“We can’t waste all this oil, so we’ll have to make it up as we go along.” Ade kneaded Kris’s shoulders. “You may need to relax a bit. ”

“I’m trying,” Kris said, but he was so tense, the gentle pressure was uncomfortable and not in the least erotic. “I’d rather massage you.”

“You can…soon.” Ade kissed Kris’s neck as he worked his way down his arms.

“And find all the places that feel good for you.”

“This is more of your ‘making it right for everyone but Kris syndrome’, isn’t it?”

“Maybe. But is that so bad?”

“What you want matters too.”

“I really want to get to know your body. We could be in the throes of passion and I touch you somewhere or say something that reminds…that takes your mind off what we’re doing.”

“Same’s true for you,” Ade pointed out. “Now, tell me how this feels.” He slid his hands around Kris’s sides, spanning his stomach and applying just enough pressure with his fingertips to keep it on the right side of tickling.

“It feels OK,” Kris said.

“OK?” Ade repeated. “We can do so much better than that. Give me that oil.”

Kris handed over the bottle.

Ade squeezed a good amount into his hands, some of it spilling over and trickling down onto Kris’s belly. “What were you going to say about trusting me completely?”

“That it’s freaking me out.”

“Oh.”

“Only a little,” Kris quickly qualified. “I’ve known George and Shaunna for nearly thirty years, and there’s things I’ve never told them, yet I’ve only known you three weeks—” Kris stopped there, since the rest would’ve taken him into talking about ‘the ex’ territory, and it was a no-fly zone.

“Go on,” Ade said.

“That’s all.”

“No. It’s not. ”

Without thinking, Kris rubbed his eyes, covering his face in oil, which didn’t contain menthol or lemon or anything else that would’ve stung, but it wasn’t pleasant. For a few seconds, Ade made not a sound, then a snort escaped next to Kris’s ear and Ade burst into full-on laughter. He circled his arms around Kris and kissed his cheek, over-acting a ‘slip’ from there to his lips. That raised a laugh from Kris too.

“That’s better,” Ade said. Climbing off the bed, he plucked a handful of tissues from the box on the chest of drawers and knelt in front of Kris to wipe the oil from his face, dabbing at a spot here and there. “Talk to me.”

“You don’t want to talk about it.”

“Ah, it’s about the ex .”

“Yeah.”

“Sorry. I didn’t mean to silence you.”

“It’s OK.”

“It’s not. Tell me.”

Kris was still reluctant to say more, but maybe it was better out in the open. It certainly couldn’t be any worse than churning his fears around in his head. “Thinking about what he did to you…I don’t know how to deal with it. It hurts too much, and you need someone strong who’s going to support you. I’m not strong, Ade. I want to be, for you, but I’m also terrified that he’ll ask you to give him another chance, because I’d lose you, and—”

“OK,” Ade interrupted. “Can I jump in for a moment?”

Kris stared at the floor, embarrassed he’d let his mouth run riot again. “Sorry.”

“Don’t be, but I need you to listen to me. Can you do that?”

Kris nodded, but Ade was waiting for a proper answer from him. He looked up and said, “Yes.”

“No doubt, you’re going to dismiss this as me telling you what you want to hear, but I promise you, there is no way on Earth I would give Fergus another chance. Do you want to know why? Because I don’t want to lose you either. ”

Kris didn’t respond. He believed Ade, but the words hung like lights beyond a curtain he couldn’t push aside. What use was he to Ade when he couldn’t even handle his own issues?

“Hey.” Ade shook Kris’s hands. “You’re all tense again.”

“Am I?”

“You are. Do you want a hug?”

Kris gave a swift nod and once again let Ade take charge as he lay down and pulled Kris to him, locking him in a firm yet gentle hold. “You know, a lot of this pain you’re feeling is empathetic. You’re too good at putting yourself in my shoes.” Ade kissed him on the forehead. “That’s probably why you picked up on it from the beginning, the same way I picked up on it with you…even before Shaunna told me about your uncle.”

“Did she?” Kris’s voice barely sounded, but he was too preoccupied with his thoughts to repeat himself.

“Yes, but only to stop my paranoia. I got caught on the idea of you being a cheat, and she told me so I’d understand how Jack made a move on you when you were vulnerable. She didn’t go into any details.”

“It was a long time ago.”

“But it’s still fresh in your head?”

Kris nodded against Ade’s chest.

“That doesn’t mean you’re not strong.” Ade lifted Kris’s face so that they were nose-to-nose. “And anyway, I don’t want a protector. I want someone who respects me and cares how I feel. Is that you?”

Kris attempted a smile. “I think so.”

“Good.” Ade touched his lips to Kris’s—not quite a kiss. “I think so too.”

Kris reciprocated the brush of lips, lingering so that it became a kiss, allowing Ade to roll him onto his back. He closed his eyes, listening to the squeeze of the bottle, the brushing together of palms to distribute the oil, then focused on the sensation of Ade’s fingers tracing the line of his jaw, down his neck, to his chest, brushing over his nipples, continuing down for a few seconds before returning to his nipples.

“That’s better,” Ade murmured, sending a buzz through Kris’s sternum. At last, his body was responding to the touch in the right way, so he oiled his hands too, and they massaged each other, following their instincts, exploring with fingers, lips and tongues, pausing to tell each other places that elicited good feelings or bad, working together to begin the healing process. It would, of course, take more than one very short massage session, which ultimately proved to be a little too erotic and left them both in an oily, slightly tearful but satisfied mess.