Cursed by Darkness (Once Upon A Curse)

14. Juniper

FOURTEEN

Juniper

Ronna didn’t age. But her new family did. Her children had grown, albeit at a slower rate than most humans due to the power she had passed down, and started families of their own, yet she still appeared as a young adult. The same as when she’d first taken a human form. And she realized in horror, that her loved ones would keep dying over and over for the rest of time, taking a piece of herself with each one.

J uniper and Bodin walked upstairs to their bedroom in silence, her hand still in his larger one. Pausing at the door, she looked over her shoulder. “You should get some rest too,” she said to Richard. “I’ll see you later.”

“Goodnight, Your Majesties.” He inclined his head but hesitated after one step. Meeting Juniper’s gaze, he whispered, “I’m proud of you, Juniper. Even though you took off against my wishes, as usual, you did well out there.”

Her vision blurred. She didn’t think she had ever heard those words. From anyone. “Thank you.”

Nodding, he asked, “Shall I get Nadine to help you get ready for bed?”

“I think I can handle it from here,” Bodin said, effectively making her blush and her breath catch.

Through that, she smiled at Richard. “I’m fine. Goodnight.”

As soon as the door shut behind them, Bodin’s shoulders drooped. His entire posture changed, showing the exhaustion and heartbreak weighing him down. The sky had started to lighten, shifting the atmosphere to a haze of blue. It was so peaceful, so contrasting to the devastation they had dealt with all night.

Bodin went and knelt by the hearth to stoke the fire back to life as she hung her cloak over a chair. She watched him stand, but he didn’t turn. He stared at the slowly growing flames, the embers turning his face a dark shade of red.

“Bo.” Her chest ached at the sight of his evident pain, and she couldn’t help but go to him. Taking a chance, she angled in front of him to wrap an arm around his middle. “I’m going to write to my father right away.”

She didn’t know if he’d bother to listen to her pleas, but she had to try. She would write to Rafe too. If she couldn’t get through to their father, perhaps he could.

Bodin returned the embrace but kept quiet.

“We need more soldiers. A battalion or two at the front lines isn’t enough, especially if this many are getting through to attack elsewhere. There needs to be more. We need them here and in other villages. It’s not enough.” She couldn’t stop rambling. “There has to be something we can do to protect them.”

The king lifted her chin to look at him.

“What?” she whispered when he only watched her.

“You said we ,” he echoed her earlier words.

She swallowed past the tightness in her throat. “We’re a team now. You and me.”

“You and me,” he repeated, sliding his hand back to cup the side of her neck. She wet her lips, and his eyes darted down to them, lingering there. He leaned in a fraction, and she wondered if he would finally kiss her. Finally take her as his wife. But he stopped a breath away.

There was so much agony in his eyes. She knew he was scared of letting people in because he’d lost so much already. It wasn’t difficult to piece that much together. This pull between them was strong though, and she didn’t know how long they could keep fighting it. She couldn’t keep pretending she didn’t notice his presence as soon as he entered a room, even without looking. She couldn’t deny how much easier it was to breathe when he was with her. Staring into her eyes as if he already cherished her.

Against all odds, she was fairly certain she was falling in love with her husband.

“June,” he whispered. She nodded, hoping he understood it was more than permission. It was a request.

And he didn’t deny her.

His lips brushed along hers, a ghost of a caress. Standing on her toes, she put more pressure into the kiss, needing more. His tongue darted out, and she opened for him as his hand slid into her hair. Goddess above . This was what she’d wanted for days now. Longer, if she was being honest with herself.

His other hand tightened around her waist, holding her as close as possible. She’d only ever been touched like this by one other man. But the times she’d kissed that sailor a couple of years ago weren’t like this . It had never set her body aflame.

She was burning like an ember in the night. Like the fire growing in the hearth at her back. With each stroke of Bodin’s tongue against hers, it was as if he was building the flames up, higher and higher.She was going to burst. She was going to…

Gasping, she tore herself away and covered her mouth with one hand.

Bodin’s eyes widened. “I’m sorry.”

She closed her eyes and steadied her breathing, willing herself to stop panicking. Tears rolled down her cheeks before she could stop them. A shaky breath escaped her.

“Juniper.” Bodin reached to pull her hands down before his palm returned to her cheek; she gave in and looked at him. “Shh. It’s all right.” His thumbs brushed the wetness from her face before he leaned in to kiss her brow. He pulled her into his arms. “We can stop. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have?—”

“No, don’t apologize. I wanted to,” she said, trying to come up with the words to explain her sudden need to pull away. “I just don’t know if I’m ready for… more. It was… overwhelming.”

“That’s fine.” Releasing her, he took a step backward—much to her chagrin.

“It’s just… It’s never been like that before.”

With those words, his shoulders relaxed. She hoped he understood it was him but rather these consuming feelings.

Juniper wanted to believe him about it being fine to wait, but for so long, she had been told that this was her duty. She was supposed to comfort him, be his to use, essentially. “Unless you need me to. If we have to?—”

“We don’t have to do anything.” He glanced from her to the large bed then to the bathtub up on the platform in the corner of the room. “Do you need help washing the dirt and blood off?”

She hadn’t even thought of that. Having him there while she bathed felt like too much, so instead, she shook her head. “I’d honestly rather just sleep and take a bath later.”

At least she had already cleaned her hands. Bodin nodded and began removing his cloak. “Then, I’ll help you with your dress so you can go to bed.”

He placed the cloak on the back of the chair with hers while she sat to tug off her boots. When he knelt in front of her to take over, Juniper chewed on her lip. She couldn’t stop herself from reaching out to touch his cheek, to trace his scars. As he looked up, she wondered again how anyone could think this man was a monster. In their short time together, Bodin had cared for her more than most of the people throughout her life had.

The thought made her miss her mother. When Juniper was a child, her mother had been very affectionate. She’d spent so much time caring for her and Hugo. Her other brothers didn’t share the same mother—she was their father’s second wife—yet she had always loved them as her own too. But it was different with Juniper and Hugo. They were her babies, and she didn’t want to leave them with nannies and nursemaids and miss out on those precious years.

Things had drastically changed though. Juniper went from seeing her mother every day, even in the tower, to only getting visits a couple of times a week. Then, it was once or twice each month. It became less and less frequent over time, until she only came to see Juniper on her birthday and Unity Day.

Juniper still didn’t know if Bodin’s behavior was genuine, but right now, she couldn’t believe it wasn’t. Not as he stood and led her toward the bed in silence. Not as he turned her around, gently pulled her hair over one shoulder, and began unlacing her dress.

Juniper didn’t argue. She didn’t try to stop him. She didn’t want to. For the first time in her life, she was truly hopeful for the future. The war frightened her, and she desperately wanted to help Bodin’s people, but there was still a glimmer of something she hadn’t realized she was missing until now.

Happiness.

She was happy here.

Bodin turned around as she let her dress fall to the floor. In only her shift and pantalettes, she slipped into bed and pulled the covers over her. He picked up the soiled garment and put it with the cloaks before heading toward the attached bedroom. “Goodnight.”

“Bo?”

He stilled at the door. “Yes?”

When she didn’t respond right away, he faced her once more. With a deep breath, she asked the question she’d been holding back for days. “Will you stay with me?”

His gaze held hers as he slowly returned to what should have been their bed. “Are you sure?”

She nodded, unable to speak.

A long minute passed before he seemed to come to a decision. She clenched her jaw as he began removing his own boots and clothes. His bare chest was a sight of beauty, defined and muscular. She’d glimpsed a peek of it before, but she’d yet to see him like this up close. Her mouth watered. He looked like one of the statues of the gods down in the art gallery.

“Still sure?” he asked with a twinkle in his eyes, standing in nothing but his undergarments. He tore the band from his hair, and the inky locks tumbled to his shoulders.

She couldn’t breathe, and she was grateful it was still dark enough that he wouldn’t be able to see her red face. This was a horrible idea. How was she supposed to lay next to him and keep her hands to herself? Granted, the bed was large enough to stay far apart. Swallowing, she managed to whisper, “Yes.”

With a softer smile, he climbed into bed. It was so wide that another couple of people could fit in here comfortably with them, and she found that she hated the chasm between them. She glanced across the space at him, wishing he would move closer. But she knew he wouldn’t, not after she’d been the one to stop them earlier. If she wanted this, she would need to make it happen.

Juniper tried to scoot closer nonchalantly but failed. Her intent was obvious, and he turned his head to watch her with that smirk she was starting to adore. Internally groaning, she gave up all pretenses and moved to lie next to him. She rolled onto her side, putting her back to him as she said, “Not a word.”

His deep chuckle sent a shiver down to her toes. The mattress shifted, and then he was there, pressed against her backside with his arm draped across her waist. A gentle pressure touched her head— a kiss , she thought. “Goodnight, June.”

She thought it would be a tense situation, lying beside him, that she would be nervous and uncomfortable, but the opposite seemed to be true. She’d never felt more at home than she did in this moment. “Goodnight, Bo.”