Cursed by Darkness (Once Upon A Curse)

18. Juniper

EIGHTEEN

Juniper

To start his quest for dominance and revenge, Theran realized his first move would be to take control of the lake once and for all. He demanded ships be built directly on the edge of Lac de Rêves. Because of the small opening between the mountains that led to the enchanted waters, only a small crew could work on them. One at a time. It took years to finish three and then send troops over in multiple trips.

Years for the God of Light to grow angrier that his sister hadn’t chosen him.

W hen Juniper finally calmed down enough to return to the palace, she was surprised to find Richard waiting for her instead of Laurent. One look of concern had her fa?ade crumbling again. She didn’t hesitate to step into his open arms.

“What happened?” he asked, holding her close, his hand going to the back of her head. “Did he hurt you?”

Physically? No. But she didn’t want to tell this man who’d always been like a father figure what had led to the king seeing her magic. The magic no one outside of her family knew about. Not even Richard.

Then, what he said after…

Surely, it wasn’t true. She would have known if she were previously engaged to a prince.

Shaking her head, she whispered, “No. We… got into an argument. I-it’s fine.”

“If he touched you?—”

“He didn’t,” she said quickly. “Not… not in a harmful way.” Her cheeks heated. She was glad Richard still held her so he couldn’t see her face. “He didn’t hurt me.”

He just thinks I’m something I’m not .

She remembered the little boy with shadow magic though. She’d been sitting in the kitchens, watching the preparation for dinner, when he ran in and asked to hide there. The head chef told him he was more than welcome, and then he came and sat with Juniper and— Oh burning hells. She’d been sitting with the chef’s daughter. Nadine.

“Juniper?” a familiar voice said from near the stairs, cutting into her spiraling thoughts.

Sniffling, she released her guard and moved around him. Laurent, Samuel, and another of Bodin’s soldiers stared at them, but only the former looked like he had an idea of what was happening. It didn’t surprise her. Bodin told his friend everything, it seemed. Still, a pang of grief hit her. She didn’t want to lose Laurent’s friendship too.

Not wanting to cause any trouble, she headed toward him before he could speak.

“Wait, what’s going on?” Richard asked, trailing after them up the stairs. It wasn’t his place to question her, but he had never been one to strictly follow protocol where she was concerned.

“We’re escorting Her Majesty to her bedchambers, where she is to wait for the king. He needs to speak to her alone,” Laurent said over his shoulder. They reached the art gallery, and her new friend stepped aside to walk next to her instead. As if he feared she would run off.

To be fair, that was a valid concern, but she had no intention of trying to escape this. She wanted— needed —to talk to Bodin. She needed answers about what happened when she was a child. She’d been so little and didn’t remember a lot of it.

And he had to listen to her, hear her out.

Because she was telling the truth.

She wasn’t a spy. She didn’t know where the magic came from. The only thing she knew was that it was the reason she’d been hidden away at six years old. The war had started, and people were divided across the continent. Her light liked to appear at the most inopportune times, she couldn’t control it, so her parents had decided it was best to keep her out of sight. It was a dangerous ability to possess south of the mountains. To herself. To her family name.

No one could know that she’d inherited magic from Gilarn. Even if they didn’t know how.

She was locked away in a lonely tower until her father was desperate enough to pawn her off on another king for money. Apparently, her safety wasn’t a concern anymore. She wasn’t as important as his wealth.

Unless…

Unless Bodin had been right and there was more going on. If there was though, she didn’t know about it.

Laurent led her to her bedroom and opened the door. The guards, including Richard, took up spots in the hallway, but Laurent walked in a few steps and hesitated before leaving. He grabbed her hand to stop her from crossing the room and held her gaze as he lowered his voice. “I don’t know exactly what is going on, but I hope for everyone’s sakes that he’s wrong.”

“He is,” she whispered, pleading with her eyes for him to believe her. “I-I’m not… what he thinks.”

The man who’d become her closest friend over the past few weeks waited a beat. With a sigh, he nodded and squeezed her arm gently. “I have to keep these two out here and lock the door, but Richard can stay in the hall too, of course.”

“You’re leaving?” Terror gripped her chest in a vice. Memories of being left in that tower flooded her.

“To go find Bodin and drag his stubborn ass up here.” Laurent reached for her hand, comforting her the slightest bit. “I promise I’ll be back soon.” He stepped forward, wrapping an arm around her in a hug and whispering, “I’m not leaving you up here for good. I swear.”

When he walked away and locked the door behind him, however, her chest tightened even more. Spinning around, she looked at the room. It had started to feel like her safe space, a home unlike anything she’d ever had. She had grown to love sharing this room with her husband, even when they were sleeping in separate beds.

Now, it felt like another prison.

Juniper walked to the far side of the bed nearest the tall open windows and balcony. The fresh air didn’t help though. Sliding to the floor with her back to the bed, she hugged her knees to her chest. A hollowness settled inside her. She’d thought this place was different, that she was finally free, but she was wrong.

She would never be free.

Not with this useless magic coursing through her veins.

The sun started its descent in the sky, making her realize just how long she and Bodin had been in the portal lands. Where she let him touch her. She couldn’t bring herself to regret it. In those moments, she caught a glimpse of what their lives might have been. What it might have felt like to be loved and cherished. That was all she’d ever wanted. And now, she may never experience it again.

She didn’t know what Bodin would do with her. According to the law, he could have her killed. His enemies’ magic flowed through her, and if he wouldn’t listen to her, if he didn’t care that she didn’t know where it came from, her life was forfeit. One way or another, she knew it was over. If he didn’t kill her, he would lock her up.

Juniper almost preferred the former. At least then, she could be free among the stars.

Bodin blamed her for his brother’s death. In another life, her parents had planned for her to marry the younger prince. New tears filled her eyes. They fell as she silently cried and waited to face her fate. She’d been so free since arriving. She should have known it was too good to be true, but she’d wanted so badly to believe this was her fresh start in a new life.

It was dark by the time the door unlocked and opened. Juniper didn’t move, didn’t want to see who’d come to fetch her. Hours had passed since Laurent left, and the only time she got up was to change into dry clothes and relieve herself. Then, she returned to her spot—albeit down a little farther toward the foot of the bed to avoid the wet spot.

No one else had entered, which meant he hadn’t succeeded in convincing Bodin to come talk to her. No, whomever was here would be escorting her to a dungeon or to the gallows, of that she had no doubt.

Would Richard be killed or locked away too just for knowing her, protecting her? What about her other guards?

Would Bodin try to attack Forosse? He had to see how horrible of an idea that was; he couldn’t face war on two fronts.

Lanterns flared to life around the space, but Juniper still didn’t move. She stared at the twinkling stars high above the mountains in the distance. When footsteps neared, she realized it only sounded like one person. Turning her head, she stared up at her husband in shock and confusion.

Bodin seemed to hesitate, taking a deep breath, before lowering next to her. She returned her gaze to the stars.

A dozen heartbeats ticked by, and then, she finally asked, “Are you going to kill me?”

“I should,” he said in a hushed tone. “But no. I… can’t.”

She exhaled.

“I want to believe you, but if you’re not a spy, why didn’t you tell me about the magic?”

Angling toward him, she whispered, “Because I’ve been locked away my whole life to hide it. And it’s forbidden here.”

His lips parted, and he glanced around the room. “And I did the same thing. I’m sorry.”

The last words were barely audible. She shook her head, her anger warring with heartbreak. Instead of addressing him, she continued to explain. “We don’t know why I have it, and it has no real use. I just…”

“Glow.”

Juniper nodded and turned away. “I’ve been told since I was a child that people would try to kill me if they found out, and that was in Forosse. We weren’t even at war with Gilarn, but it’s still forbidden. And my people don’t hate them nearly as much as you do here.”

Bodin sighed. Then, to her surprise, he reached for her hand.

When she jerked her arm away, he said, “June, please look at me.”

Chewing on her lower lip, she reluctantly turned. The traitorous tears had returned at the use of her nickname. She hated them, hated the idea that they made her look weak or scared, hated that something so simple coming from him could affect her so much.

“June,” he whispered, cupping her cheek.

This time, she didn’t fight his touch. “You didn’t even give me a chance before you started accusing me.”

“I know?—”

“No.” Juniper jumped to her feet and put space between them. “You don’t. That’s just it.”

Bodin stood but didn’t try to move closer.

“I am your wife,” she started, “and from day one, you have made sure I have felt safe, comfortable, and free. You yelled at my brother for speaking to me disrespectfully and made a point to show everyone I am an equal as your queen, not an ornament to sit behind you.” She marched toward him. “I have been open and honest with you about everything but this one aspect of my life?—”

“It’s a pretty big fucking aspect, June,” he shouted, throwing his arms out at his sides. “I’m sorry for reacting when the woman I’m falling in love with accidentally revealed she has magic from the kingdom I’m at war with!”

Juniper stilled, her mouth hanging open. The rest of her argument died on her tongue. Bodin’s chest heaved with breath, and they’d moved so close she could once again see that deep brown color in his wide eyes. His own jaw slammed shut, and he leaned back, as if just realizing what he admitted out loud.

“I didn’t tell you because it is forbidden here,” she said in a calmer tone, letting him move on. “I don’t know where it comes from. No one else in my family has it, as far as I know.” When he started to speak, she added, “And I’m aware that doesn’t make sense because it’s supposed to be inherited. But it’s the truth.”

She’d read every book she could find on the subject in search of answers, but nothing mentioned this sort of situation.

Crossing her arms, she said, “I didn’t tell you, Bodin, because I needed out of that tower. I needed this marriage to work, and I knew you would have turned it down if you knew before or you would have thrown me in a cell to die if you found out after. When you made it clear that this wouldn’t be a marriage of love, I thought I’d be able to hide it and it wouldn’t matter. It’s not like I can control it or use it. I just know is that it’s tied to my emotions.”

She moved to sit on the edge of the bed.

Bodin stepped closer, leaning one hip against the mattress. “What do you mean?”

“When I was little, I was able to call it forward, but when I started to fear it and tried to hide it, I lost any bit of control I once had. Now, I just… glow when feeling anything intensely, especially good things.”

“Like being touched by another person for the first time.”

Juniper nodded, though it wasn’t a question. “I didn’t expect… whatever this is between us. I thought you would keep your distance and then it wouldn’t be an issue. But then, we started growing closer, and I knew I wouldn’t be able to keep it from you forever.” Lowering her voice, she said, “I’m happy here with you, and I knew it would come out when we started trying for an heir, even if you didn’t feel the same… because I’m falling too.”

He visibly swallowed. “This is what you’ve been trying to talk to me about?”

“Yes. I was going to tell you the truth.”

Bodin was quiet for a long moment.

She uncrossed her arms only to wring her fingers together while waiting for his next words. One way or another, they would change her life. Either he accepted her as no one ever had, or… or he disposed of her and found his next wife. Her heart raced in her chest, threatening to burst out of her skin. He could keep her locked away too, but she wouldn’t let that happen. Never again would she live out her days confined to her bed chambers.

No one would ever hold her prisoner again.

“I went through my books all day, searching for information on how it’s inherited. Every account claims the same thing.”

“To be that powerful, it has to come from a parent,” she whispered, knowing the same information he did. “No one else in my family has magic though, I swear.”

“I want to believe you?—”

“Then, do,” she snapped. “I have trusted you every step of the way in this marriage. I slept in your bed, I went through your portals, I helped your people.” Groaning, she pushed off of the bed and started pacing. “I barely blinked a fucking eye when you told me about your magic.”

“That’s different.”

“How?” She whirled to face him, hands flying out as her voice rose. “You have strange magic that’s different from everyone else in this goddessforsaken kingdom, and you don’t know where it came from. Why is this any different?”

His eyebrows sat high on his forehead, and she realized that she had started yelling at the end of her rant. Biting her lower lip, she shook her head in anger and worry. If anyone talked to her father like that, they were thrown in a cell or brought to the noose. Bodin hadn’t seemed like the type of man to do that, but the fear lingered in the back of her mind. Especially after so many accusations, after the way he’d treated her earlier.

Slowly, he stepped closer. Juniper braced herself, determined not to cower or run. She would face this, face him. Except, he didn’t shout or even appear angry.

Bodin used his thumb to pull her lip out from between her teeth then brushed the finger along it. His eyes focused on that one spot for what felt like a lifetime before he leaned in and pressed the softest kiss to the corner of her mouth.

“You’re right. I’m sorry,” he whispered, followed by three little words that brought on a new wave of tears. “I believe you.”

“You…” Juniper couldn’t even finish a sentence. Her words caught in her throat. She stared at him in disbelief.

“I believe you, June,” he said, tucking back a piece of hair behind her ear. “You’re right. You’ve trusted me, and now it’s my turn. I should have listened.”

“You accused me of?—”

“I know.” Bodin shook his head. “That was just… fear and grief exploding from me. I’m sorry.”

She hesitated only a minute before giving in to the overwhelming and exhausting emotions—relief, love, sadness, joy—crashing through her. Juniper wrapped her arms around him, burying her face against the side of his neck as she sobbed. Bodin didn’t hesitate to return the embrace. He hauled her up against him, bringing her legs to either side of his hips. Her arms crossed behind his neck as he hugged her.

In that moment, as her husband held her close, kissing her temple, she realized she had really never experienced this sort of acceptance before. Juniper had never felt so relieved, so free. It was one thing to be able togo and do whatever she wanted, but this… This was something else entirely.

That familiar warmth brushed across her arms, giving her a sense of comfort. It reassured her that she was where she was meant to be. She’d been hurt in a way she hadn’t imagined he would ever have the power to do, but with his belief in her, the pain faded to the background.

This might have started off as an arranged marriage neither of them wanted, but she was already well on her way to falling deeply in love with Bodin. And by the sounds of it, he felt the same.

As he turned and moved toward the bed, she knew she would let him take as much time as he needed. It would be worth it in the end.