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Cursed by Darkness (Once Upon A Curse) 19. Bodin 40%
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19. Bodin

NINETEEN

Bodin

Theran ordered every able-bodied person over the age of twelve to Valétoi. With numbers on their side and the ability to heal with their light magic, they became a nearly invincible foe. But it didn’t stop there. It wasn’t enough for the god.

It was never enough.

S itting on the edge of the mattress with his wife on his lap, Bodin wondered if he was being na?ve and too trusting. He knew it was foolish to simply take her word. Yet, he found himself doing just that. She was right; she hadn’t balked at his magic, nor had she been afraid of him. For that, he wanted to give her a chance.

Maybe he wanted it to be the truth for bigger reasons. With his arms wrapped fully around her waist, her nuzzling his neck, he couldn’t help but feel like this was right where he belonged. He needed her to be telling the truth because the alternative was too painful.

Bodin kissed the side of her head.

“Promise me,” he said against her messy hair. She had changed into a new dress, but her wavy locks had dried in a tangled nest.

Juniper leaned back and held his gaze without faltering, the remnants of her tears lingering on her cheeks. “I swear to you I’m not a spy. I don’t know where the magic comes from or why I have it.”

He didn’t move for the longest time, and she didn’t push him. They simply stared at each other, sitting together. They still needed to have another discussion though. One that would hurt just as much.

“I’m sorry for accusing you of…” He swallowed, wiping away what remained of the hurt he’d caused her. “You weren’t the reason Elias was killed.”

She placed her hands on his chest, and he wondered if she could feel his pounding heart. “But it was partially my fault he was out there without his guards.”

Bodin shook his head, guilt coursing through him. He never should have put this on her. “You were a child—you both were. And he loved hiding from them long before he met you.” Inhaling to steady himself, he whispered, “Which is all the more reason you don’t belong with me. You were meant to be with him, and I?—”

“Bodin,” Juniper said, cutting him off, sadness filling her green eyes. “I didn’t know about the arrangement. I was six years old; I barely even remember that visit. And I didn’t know that the friend I’d made was the prince, just like he didn’t know I was a princess. We were far too young to feel anything beyond friendship, which only lasted a few days.”

Bodin opened his mouth then shut it, unsure what to say.

“I didn’t belong to him, but do you know what this does tell me?”

“What?” he breathed.

She smiled and trailed a finger along his scars, as if by habit—scars that had never seemed to bother her. “I was always meant to come here. To meet you .”

“You would have been my sister-in-law,” he couldn’t help but say, a little of the tension leaving his body.

“Why must you ruin the moment?” she deadpanned.

Her mouth twitched, and he could see how hard she was fighting a laugh. Shaking his head, he swept a hand into her hair and tugged her closer. Bodin kissed her hard, letting her see and feel the way he needed her. Her lips parted, and she moaned as his tongue stroked hers.

Gripping her tightly, he stood and turned to lay her down instead. He wasted no time climbing up over her. She lifted her knees around his hips, and he lowered his weight onto her a little more as he explored her curves with one hand, thanking whoever had decided to design dresses in this kingdom with these deliciously high slits. His fingers slipped under the fabric at her thigh, brushing her soft skin.

“Bo,” she said with a gasp as he rolled his hips against hers, his hardness evident.

He kissed his way down her jaw and to her exposed collarbone.

And then, her stomach growled, breaking the silence and tension.

Juniper started giggling. She squeezed her lips together, as if trying to hide it, but the harder she tried, the worse it got. Until they were both laughing and he was pushing himself up.

“No!” Juniper grabbed on to his shirt before he could climb off the bed. “I don’t want to stop.”

“You need to eat, Sunshine. You’ve been locked in here most of the day.” More guilt flooded him. He was just as bad as her parents. The people who’d kept her trapped most of her life.

She sat up. Her tongue darted out to wet her lips. “Sunshine?”

Shrugging, he said, “You glow like the sun.”

The corner of her lips twitched. “I like that.”

He cupped her cheek, making sure she was looking him in the eyes, needing her to really hear him. “I’m sorry, June. For locking you in here without listening.”

“I… I should have told you. You trusted me with your secret. I wanted to tell you, but I was so scared.”

“I know.” Leaning in, he pressed another kiss to her mouth. “I’m sorry for reacting so strongly. It’s just been painful, having those memories brought back so forcefully. My brother meant the world to me, and I should have been there to protect him.”

Juniper shifted to her knees, bringing their bodies closer. “Richard was there. He was always with me, so he had to have been there, and he couldn’t stop it. There was nothing you could have done, Bodin. This isn’t your burden to bear.”

“It is though,” he whispered. “The assassin was here for me.”

“That still doesn’t make it your fault.” She pulled him fully into her arms. “Do you think Elias would want you to hold on to this guilt?”

Bodin couldn’t speak, but he shook his head. No, his brother would hate that. So would his parents. But how did he just let it go after fifteen years?

Juniper leaned up to kiss him once, twice. “I remember being rushed away from here,” she said in a soft tone. “My father insisted I hide because of the laws put in place after your father declared war on Gilarn. He’s not a good man, but I do think he was genuinely doing it to protect me.”

“He was.” At least he could reassure her in this. “I found a journal of my father’s… he knew about your magic. That was why they wanted to arrange the marriage. They wondered if your children would possess both Lumen and Noxian powers.”

Her eyes rounded, her jaw dropping. “I hadn’t thought of that. Do you think ours will?”

“I don’t know.”

That she was so confident about having children with him warmed his heart. Starting a family with this sweet-but-sassy woman would make him so happy, happier than he could even imagine. He’d always wanted to be a father, and he had no doubt she would be an excellent mother. Yet, the mere thought of her giving birth terrified him. Her stomach rumbled again, and he glanced down.

“Let’s get some food in you,” he said.

She frowned, and the pout was so adorable that he pulled her closer, kissing those plush red lips. It was strange to realize how comfortable they were with each other when they met just under a month ago. He felt like he’d known Juniper all his life. And he desperately wanted to get to know her more.

He wanted to get very familiar with every inch of her.

But he wanted more than that; he wanted a life with her, and he didn’t think he could fight it any longer. Climbing out of the bed, he turned back to kiss her once more. “Don’t move.”

Bodin rushed to the door and cracked it open to search for a page. Instead, he was met with Richard’s fury and concern.

“ What is going on?” the man hissed, evidently over being patient and formal. He tried to see past Bodin, but the king blocked his path. That was when Bodin noticed Laurent and Samuel waiting as well.

“Did you tell her yet?” Laurent asked.

“No. Can you send for food though? She hasn’t eaten since this morning.”

Her head guard looked about ready to fight. “I want to see her.”

Internally sighing, Bodin stepped back and opened the door wider. “June, would you please tell them everything is fine?”

She scrambled upright, having laid down again, and nodded as the two men entered the room. Even Samuel moved to stand in the doorway—at least he had some semblance of propriety and etiquette. She smiled and said, “It’s all right. We’re fine.”

Richard eyed him, but Laurent appeared relieved as he said, “So, you’re not?—”

“No,” Bodin and Juniper said at the same time.

Of course, that didn’t seem to appease Richard. “You’re not what? Juniper, please tell me what is?—”

“That’s enough.” Bodin angled himself between the man and the bed, preventing him from moving farther into the room. Trying to keep his tone calm, he said, “I appreciate that you care about my wife and want to protect her, but she doesn’t need to share details of our marriage with you. You’ve already crossed the line, by questioning us and inserting yourself into our business; please don’t push it further. We are fine and happy together. We’ve moved past what happened earlier. That’s all you need to know. If June wants to tell you more later, that’s her prerogative, but right now, we need privacy.”

A muscle in the guard’s jaw twitched. Juniper nodded in agreement. “I’m fine, Richard. I promise. It was a… misunderstanding. Just an argument, but we’re fine now.”

Richard hesitated one more moment before giving a short bow and retreating to the hallway with Samuel, clearly not satisfied and unhappy about it. It was obvious the man truly cared for Juniper, but he also had a place, and right now, he had to be reminded of that. Laurent made to follow, but Bodin grabbed his arm.

“Please have food and wine brought up.” Lowering his voice, he added, “And tell Nadine not to return tonight.”

When Laurent smirked, Bodin smacked the back of his head.

“Stop.”

“I didn’t say anything.” Laurent turned to walk backward out the door. “But it’s about damn time.”

“Just go,” Bodin said with a chuckle before shutting the door on his friend. He opened it again quickly. “And make sure they knock before bringing in the food.”

When he turned to head to the bed, Juniper was frowning with her arms crossed.

“What?” He moved toward her.

“You didn’t need to talk to Richard like that.”

Bodin joined her, sitting against the headboard. “He’s a guard. He doesn’t need to know what’s going on between us.”

“He’s more than just a guard, and you know it.” She pivoted on the mattress to face him. “He’s been by my side since I was a child.”

“Does he know about your magic?”

Juniper sighed and shook her head.

“Then, don’t get mad at me for not telling him about our private conversation.” He put a hand over hers.

“I’m not mad at you. And I’m pretty sure Richard isn’t upset about not knowing about our conversation so much as he is about the fact that he held me while I cried earlier, and he knows you had something to do with it. Regardless, you told Laurent, so?—”

“I didn’t tell him about your magic,” he said, cutting her off. When her forehead creased, he scooted closer, guided her to sit next to him, and wrapped an arm around her shoulders so he could pull her against him. “I told him you were Gilarnian when I initially took off, and I told him not only because I trust him but also because I needed him to understand why I asked him to escort you here. He’s my best friend, but if you think he would have locked you up without any reason, even with me ordering him to, you’re mistaken. He cares about you too.”

She curled up against Bodin. Before she could say anything though, he continued. It was important she heard this.

“If you want to tell him or Richard about your power, that’s your choice.” He kissed the top of her head. “But I wasn’t going to let either of them pressure you into telling them right now.” When she stayed quiet, he added, “I don’t mean to overstep. I just?—”

“Thank you,” she whispered. “Bodin, I… I’ve never… had a choice.”

His heart ached for her. She’d been trapped in more ways than one most of her life. Squeezing her tightly, he said, “You always have a choice now. This is your life. No one is going to tell you what to do ever again.”

She leaned away to meet his gaze, but the mischievous look in her eyes wasn’t what he expected. “Ever? I find that very difficult to believe. My husband seems a bit bossy and controlling.”

Bodin knew she meant it in jest, yet the words struck hard. Lifting a hand to the side of her face, he said, “If I tell you what to do, it’s because I’m trying to protect you. And even then, it’s still your choice.”

He regretted the words immediately. There was still a conversation they needed to have tonight about the news he’d received earlier, and he didn’t doubt she would throw this back in his face. He wasn’t ready for that argument though. So, instead, he focused on anything else.

“Forgive me for not hearing you out?” he asked. “For locking you in here?”

“Yes, Bo.” She nodded, her gaze turning soft. “But promise me that going forward, we will listen to each other, trust each other fully.”

Bodin swallowed. “Are there any other big secrets you’re hiding that I should know?”

He had one more he hadn’t told her, but he couldn’t. If he didn’t have to, he never would. For both their safety and peace, it was better this way. He wasn’t ready to talk about the days when he lost Beatrice and his parents all at once.

Juniper pursed her lips to the side, as if considering. When she started smiling and blushing, he had an idea of what she was about to say, but it still surprised him when she actually did.

“The only one I can think of,” she shifted to her knees and moved to straddle his lap, “is that I really want to continue what we started earlier.”

He slid his fingers into her hair to pull her into a deep kiss. “That’s not a secret, Sunshine.”

She twisted her arms around his neck, and the feel of her against him was better than he ever imagined anything could be. He parted her lips with his tongue. The soft moan she let out when he used his free hand to slide along her hip to her backside was enough to send his blood rushing lower. Gods above, he wanted her so much.

But someone would be walking in any minute.

“We need to slow down,” he said, breaking the kiss. “I promise we’ll continue after you eat though. I don’t want you passing out on me.”

She rolled her eyes but agreed. Leaning forward, she lowered her arms and rested against his chest, laying her head on his shoulder. “Fine. Then, tell me about the portals. You were going to explain how they worked before…”

Bodin traced a hand up and down her spine as he tried to think of how to tell her. It was a confusing concept to speak about out loud. In the end, he figured simply blurting out the truth would be the easiest start. “They’re not real.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, the portals and lands beyond aren’t real. It’s… complicated.” He hadn’t tried to explain this in so long. The last time, it had been to Nadine, and he’d fumbled through it then too. He was fairly certain she still didn’t understand it entirely. She’d joked that she didn’t care how it was possible, just that it was and that he’d gifted her the capybara. “It all comes from my mind. Each place is inspired by somewhere I’ve been or my imagination—usually a combination.”

Juniper straightened to see him. “I don’t understand.”

“The meadow, for example, is a real meadow I’ve been to, but when you go through the magic door, it isn’t the same one,” he said. “It’s a replica, an echo of the true place. That’s why there aren’t any people and why most are stuck at the same time of day.”

“So… they’re an illusion?”

“Kind of. It’s a little more elaborate than that, but essentially, yes. That’s why we can’t use one of the doors for you to visit the real Nortussa. I could create it, but your brothers wouldn’t be there.”

She shook her head slowly, but her gaze was distant. “It seems so real.”

A knock sounded on the door, and he helped her off of his lap. As he got out of bed again, needing to adjust himself before heading to the door, he said, “They’re real. You’re just not actually traveling to a new location. I told you it was complicated.”

He went to let a maid in but found Laurent instead. “What are?—”

“I brought food.” He held up a tray and walked past Bodin to put it on the round table near the windows. Juniper was already on her feet and heading toward it. Something was wrong though. When his friend simply delivered the food without a flirty comment or attempt at riling up his wife, Bodin knew he’d sensed correctly. Laurent turned to face him. Lowering his voice as he approached, he said, “It’s worse than we thought. Have you told?—”

“Not yet.”

“We need to go tomorrow morning,” he whispered. “Unless you want to stay here and just send me.” He said it like he hoped Bodin would agree.

But there was no way in burning hells he would send his best friend into that sort of mayhem alone.

Laurent must have seen the answer in his eyes because he sighed and said, “Didn’t think so, but I thought I’d try.” He glanced at Juniper, who sat eating a piece of bread. “Spend this time together. Give her at least one night.”

In case we don’t make it back home. The silent words hung between them. Bodin’s stomach churned as he nodded. “I’ll see you in the morning.”

Patting him on the shoulder, Laurent left.

“What’s wrong?” Juniper asked as Bodin ambled her way. She grabbed a piece of chicken to put on a plate and started nibbling at it. “He’s acting weird.”

Bending down, he kissed her temple before sitting beside her. “We need to talk, June.”

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